One Thousand and One Nights, page 1350
The mother is enjoined by the law to give suck to her child two full years, unless she have her husband’s consent to shorten the period, or to employ another nurse. “For suckling the child, a virtuous woman, who eateth only what is lawful, should be chosen; for the unlawful [food] will manifest its evil in the child; as the Prophet ... said, ‘Giving suck altereth the tempers.’ But it is recommended by the Sunneh that the mother herself suckle the child; for it is said in a tradition, ‘There is nothing better for a child than its mother’s milk.’ ‘If thou wouldst try,’ it is added, ‘whether the child be of an ingenuous disposition in its infancy or not, order a woman who is not its mother to suckle it after its mother has done so: and if it drink of the milk of the woman who is not its mother, it is not of an ingenuous disposition.’”[]
Children, being regarded by Muslim parents as enviable blessings, are to them objects of the most anxious solicitude. To guard them from the supposed influence of the envious or evil eye, they have recourse to various expedients. When they are taken abroad, they are usually clad in a most slovenly manner, and left unwashed, or even purposely smeared with dirt; and as a further precaution a fantastic cap is often put upon the child’s head, or its head-dress is decorated with one or more coins, a feather, a gay tassel, or a written charm or two sewed up in leather or encased in gold or silver, or some other appendage to attract the eye, that so the infant itself may pass unnoticed. If a person express his admiration of another’s child otherwise than by some pious ejaculation, as for instance by praising its Creator (with the exclamation of “Subḥána-lláh!” or Má sháa-lláh!” etc.) or invoking a blessing on the Prophet, he fills the mind of the parent with apprehension; and recourse is had to some superstitious ceremony to counteract the dreaded influence of his envious glance. The children of the poor from their unattractive appearance are less exposed to this imaginary danger: they generally have little or no clothing and are extremely dirty. It is partly with the view of protecting them from the evil eye that those of the rich are so long confined to the ḥareem: there they are petted and pampered for several years, at least until they are of age to go to school; but most of them are instructed at home.
The children of the Muslims are taught to show to their fathers a degree of respect which might be deemed incompatible with the existence of a tender mutual affection; but I believe that this is not the case. The child greets the father in the morning by kissing his hand, and then usually stands before him in a respectful attitude, with the left hand covered by the right, to receive any order or to await his permission to depart; but after the respectful kiss, is often taken on the lap. After the period of infancy, the well-bred son seldom sits in the presence of his father; but during that period he is generally allowed much familiarity. A Syrian merchant, who was one of my near neighbours in Cairo, had a child of exquisite beauty, commonly supposed to be his daughter, whom, though he was a most bigoted Muslim, he daily took with him from his private house to his shop. The child followed him, seated upon an ass before a black slave, and until about six years old was dressed like most young ladies, but without a face-veil. The father then thinking that the appearance of taking about with him a daughter of that age was scandalous, dressed his pet as a boy, and told his friends that the female attire had been employed as a protection against the evil eye, girls being less coveted than boys. This indeed is sometimes done, and it is possible that such might have been the case in this instance; but I was led to believe that it was not so. A year after, I left Cairo: while I remained there, I continued to see the child pass my house as before, but always in boy’s clothing.
It is not surprising that the natives of Eastern countries, where a very trifling expense is required to rear the young, should be generally desirous of a numerous offspring. A motive of self-interest conduces forcibly to cherish this feeling in a wife; for she is commonly esteemed by her husband in proportion to her fruitfulness, and a man is seldom willing to divorce a wife, or to sell a slave, who has borne him a child. A similar feeling also induces in both parents a desire to obtain offspring, and renders them at the same time resigned to the loss of such of their children as die in tender age. This feeling arises from their belief of certain services, of greater moment than the richest blessings this world can bestow, which children who die in infancy are to render to their parents.
The Prophet is related to have said, “The infant children [of the Muslims] shall assemble at the scene of judgment on the day of the general resurrection, when all creatures shall appear for the reckoning, and it will be said to the angels, ‘Go ye with these into Paradise:’ and they will halt at the gate of Paradise, and it will be said to them, ‘Welcome to the offspring of the Muslims! enter ye Paradise: there is no reckoning to be made with you:’ and they will reply, ‘Yea, and our fathers and our mothers:’ but the guardians of Paradise will say, ‘Verily your fathers and your mothers are not with you because they have committed faults and sins for which they must be reckoned with and inquired of.’ Then they will shriek and cry at the gate of Paradise with a great cry; and God (whose name be exalted, and who is all-knowing respecting them) will say, ‘What is this cry?’ It will be answered, ‘O our Lord, the children of the Muslims say, We will not enter Paradise but with our fathers and our mothers.’ Whereupon God (whose name be exalted) will say, ‘Pass among them all, and take the hands of your parents, and introduce them into Paradise.’” The children who are to have this power are such as are born of believers, and die without having attained to the knowledge of sin; and according to one tradition, one such child will introduce his two parents into Paradise. Such infants only are to enter Paradise; for of the children who die in infancy, those of believers alone are they who would believe if they grew to years of discretion. On the same authority it is said, “When a child of the servant [of God] dies, God (whose name be exalted) saith to the angels, ‘Have ye taken the child of my servant?’ They answer, ‘Yea.’ He saith, ‘Have ye taken the child of his heart?’ They reply, ‘Yea.’ He asketh them, ‘What did my servant say?’ They answer, ‘He praised thee, and said, Verily to God we belong, and verily unto Him we return!’ Then God will say, ‘Build for my servant a house in Paradise, and name it the House of Praise.’”
To these traditions, which I find related as proofs of the advantages of marriage, the following anecdote, which is of a similar nature, is added. A certain man who would not take a wife awoke one day from his sleep, and demanded to be married, saying as his reason, “I dreamed that the resurrection had taken place, and that I was among the beings collected at the scene of judgment, but was suffering a thirst that stopped up the passage of my stomach; and lo, there were youths passing through the assembly, having in their hands ewers of silver, and cups of gold, and giving drink to one person after another; so I stretched forth my hand to one of them, and said, ‘Give me to drink; for thirst overpowereth me;’ but they answered, ‘Thou hast no child among us; we give drink only to our fathers.’ I asked them, ‘Who are ye?’ They replied, ‘We are the deceased infant children of the Muslims.’”[] Especial rewards in heaven are promised to mothers. “When a woman conceives by her husband,” said the Prophet, “she is called in heaven a martyr [i.e. she is ranked, as a martyr in dignity]; and her labour in childbed and her care for her children protect her from hell fire.”[]
“When the child begins to speak, the father should teach him first the kelimeh [or profession of faith], ‘There is no deity but God: [Moḥammad is God’s apostle]’ — he should dictate this to him seven times. Then he should instruct him to say, ‘Wherefore exalted be God, the King, the Truth! There is no deity but He, the Lord of the honourable throne.’[] He should teach him also the Throne-verse,[] and the closing words of the Ḥashr, ‘He is God, beside whom there is no deity, the King, the Holy,’” etc.[]
As soon as a son is old enough, his father should teach him the most important rules of decent behaviour: placing some food before him, he should order him to take it with the right hand (the left being employed for unclean purposes), and to say, on commencing, “In the name of God;” to eat what is next to him, and not to hurry or spill any of the food upon his person or dress. He should teach him that it is disgusting to eat much. He should particularly condemn to him the love of gold and silver, and caution him against covetousness as he would against serpents and scorpions; and forbid his spitting in an assembly and every similar breach of good manners, from talking much, turning his back upon another, standing in an indolent attitude, and speaking ill of any person to another. He should keep him from bad companions, teach him the Ḳur-án and all requisite divine and prophetic ordinances, and instruct him in the arts of swimming and archery, and in some virtuous trade; for trade is a security from poverty. He should also command him to endure patiently the chastisements of his teacher. In one tradition it is said, “When a boy attains the age of six years he should be disciplined, and when he attains to nine years he should be put in a separate bed, and when he attains to ten years he should be beaten for [neglecting] prayer:” and in another tradition, “Order your children to pray at seven [years], and beat them for [neglecting] it at ten, and put them in separate beds.”[]
Circumcision is generally performed before the boy is submitted to the instruction of the schoolmaster.[] Previously to the performance of this rite, he is, if belonging to the higher or middle rank of society, usually paraded about the neighbourhood of his parents’ dwelling, gaily attired, chiefly with female habits and ornaments, but with a boy’s turban on his head, mounted on a horse, preceded by musicians, and followed by a group of his female relations and friends. This ceremony is observed by the great with much pomp and with sumptuous feasts. El-Jabartee mentions a fête celebrated on the occasion of the circumcision of a son of the Ḳáḍee of Cairo, in the year of the Flight 1179 (A.D. 1766), when the grandees and chief merchants and ´ulamà of the city sent him such abundance of presents that the magazines of his mansion were filled with rice and butter and honey and sugar; the great hall, with coffee; and the middle of the court, with fire-wood: the public were amused for many days by players and performers of various kinds; and when the youth was paraded through the streets he was attended by numerous memlooks with their richly caparisoned horses and splendid arms and armour and military band, and by a number of other youths, who, out of compliment to him, were afterwards circumcised with him. This last custom is usual on such occasions; and so also is the sending of presents, such as those above mentioned, by friends, acquaintances, and tradespeople. At a fête of this kind, when the Khaleefeh El-Muḳtedir circumcised five of his sons, the money that was scattered in presents amounted to six hundred thousand pieces of gold, or about £300,000. Many orphans were also circumcised on the same day, and were presented with clothes and pieces of gold.[] The Khaleefeh above mentioned was famous for his magnificence, a proof of which I have given before ( ff.). At the more approved entertainments which are given in celebration of a circumcision, a recital of the whole of the Ḳur-án, or a zikr, is performed: at some others, male or female public dancers perform in the court of the house or in the street before the door.
Few of the children of the Arabs receive much instruction in literature, and still fewer are taught even the rudiments of any of the higher sciences; but there are numerous schools in their towns, and one at least in almost every moderately large village. The former are mostly attached to mosques and other public buildings, and, together with those buildings, are endowed by princes or other men of rank, or wealthy tradesmen. In these the children are instructed either gratis or for a very trifling weekly payment, which all parents save those in indigent circumstances can easily afford. The schoolmaster generally teaches nothing more than to read, and to recite by heart the whole of the Ḳur-án. After committing to memory the first chapter of the sacred volume, the boy learns the rest in the inverse order of their arrangement, as they generally decrease in length (the longest coming first, and the shortest at the end). Writing and arithmetic are usually taught by another master; and grammar, rhetoric, versification, logic, the interpretation of the Ḳur-án, and the whole system of religion and law, with all other knowledge deemed useful, which seldom includes the mere elements of mathematics, are attained by studying at a collegiate mosque, and at no expense; for the professors receive no pay either from the students, who are mostly of the poorer classes, or from the funds of the mosque.
The wealthy often employ for their sons a private tutor; and when he has taught them to read, and to recite the Ḳur-án, engage for them a writing-master, and then send them to the college. But among this class, polite literature is more considered than any other branch of knowledge, after religion. Such an acquaintance with the works of some of their favourite poets as enables a man to quote them occasionally in company, is regarded by the Arabs as essential to a son who is to mix in good society; and to this acquirement is often added some skill in the art of versification, which is rendered peculiarly easy by the copiousness of the Arabic language and by its system of inflexion. These characteristics of their noble tongue (which are remarkably exhibited by the custom, common among the Arabs, of preserving the same rhyme throughout a whole poem), while on the one hand they have given an admirable freedom to the compositions of men of true poetic genius, have on the other hand mainly contributed to the degradation of Arabic poetry. To an Arab of some little learning it is almost as easy to speak in verse as in prose; and hence he often intersperses his prose writings, and not unfrequently his conversation, with indifferent verses, of which the chief merit generally consists in puns or in an ingenious use of several words nearly the same in sound but differing in sense. This custom is frequently exemplified in the “Thousand and One Nights,” where a person suddenly changes the style of his speech from prose to verse, and then reverts to the former.
One more duty of a father to a son I should here mention: it is to procure for him a wife as soon as he has arrived at a proper age. This age is decided by some to be twenty years, though many young men marry at an earlier period. It is said, “When a son has attained the age of twenty years, his father, if able, should marry him, and then take his hand and say, ‘I have disciplined thee and taught thee and married thee: I now seek refuge with God from thy mischief in the present world and the next.’” To enforce this duty, the following tradition is urged: “When a son becomes adult and his father does not marry him and yet is able to do so, if the youth do wrong in consequence, the sin of it is between the two” — or, as in another report,— “on the father.”[] The same is held to be the case with respect to a daughter who has attained the age of twelve years.
The female children of the Arabs are seldom taught even to read. Though they are admissible at the daily schools in which the boys are instructed, very few parents allow them the benefit of this privilege; preferring, if they give them any instruction of a literary kind, to employ a sheykhah (or learned woman) to teach them at home. She instructs them in the forms of prayer and teaches them to repeat by heart a few chapters of the Ḳur-án, very rarely the whole book. Parents are indeed recommended to withhold from their daughters some portions of the Ḳur-án; to “teach them the Soorat ed-Noor [or 24th chapter], and keep from them the Soorat Yoosuf [12th chapter]; on account of the story of Zeleekhá and Yoosuf in the latter, and the prohibitions and threats and mention of punishments contained in the former.”[]
Needle-work is not so rarely, but yet not generally, taught to Arab girls, the spindle frequently employs those of the poorer classes, and some of them learn to weave. The daughters of persons of the middle and higher ranks are often instructed in the art of embroidery and in other ornamental work, which are taught in schools and in private houses. Singing and playing upon the lute, which were formerly not uncommon female accomplishments among the wealthy Arabs, are now almost exclusively confined, like dancing, to professional performers and a few of the slaves in the ḥareems of the great: it is very seldom now that any musical instrument is seen in the hand of an Arab lady except a kind of drum called darabukkeh and a ṭár (or tambourine), which are found in many ḥareems, and are beaten with the fingers.[] Some care, however, is bestowed by the ladies in teaching their daughters what they consider an elegant gait and carriage, as well as various alluring and voluptuous arts with which to increase the attachment of their future husbands.
I have heard Arabs confess that their nation possesses nine-tenths of the envy that exists among all mankind collectively; but I have not seen any written authority for this. Ibn-´Abbás assigns nine-tenths of the intrigue or artifice that exists in the world to the Copts, nine-tenths of the perfidy to the Jews, nine-tenths of the stupidity to the Maghrabees, nine-tenths of the hardness to the Turks, and nine-tenths of the bravery to the Arabs. According to Kaạb El-Aḥbár, reason and sedition are most peculiar to Syria, plenty and degradation to Egypt, and misery and health to the Desert. In another account, faith and modesty are said to be most peculiar to El-Yemen, fortitude and sedition to Syria, magnificence or pride and hypocrisy to El-´Irák, wealth and degradation to Egypt, and poverty and misery to the Desert. Of women, it is said by Kaạb El-Aḥbár, that the best in the world (excepting those of the tribe of Ḳureysh mentioned by the Prophet) are those of El-Baṣrah; and the worst in the world, those of Egypt.[]
CHAPTER IX.
WOMEN.
That sensual passion is very prevalent among the Arabs cannot be doubted; but I think it unjust to suppose them generally incapable of a purer feeling, worthy, if constancy be a sufficient test, of being termed true love. That they are not so, appears evident to almost every person who mixes with them in familiar society; for such a person must have opportunities of being acquainted with many Arabs sincerely attached to wives whose personal charms have long vanished, and who have neither wealth nor influence of their own, nor wealthy or influential relations, to induce their husbands to refrain from divorcing them. It very often happens, too, that an Arab is sincerely attached to a wife possessed, even in the best portion of her age, of few charms, and that the lasting favourite among two or more wives is not the most handsome. This opinion, I am sorry to observe, is at variance, as far as the Arabs of the towns are concerned, with that entertained by one of the most intelligent and experienced of modern travellers who long resided among this people, — the justly celebrated Burckhardt:[] but it is confirmed by numerous facts related by respectable Arab authors (and therefore not regarded by them as of an incredible nature), as well as by cases which have fallen under my own observation. The tale of Leylà and Mejnoon, the Juliet and Romeo of Arabia, is too well known to be here repeated; but among many other anecdotes of strong and constant love, the following may be inserted.
