Painful, page 22
I pushed her against the wall, harder than I’d intended, but she groaned, “Yes,” as her head thudded. Then she was stroking me, and I was ripping clothes off of her before I completely lost it. I had to remove her hand from me so I could finish undressing her. Completely bare, she ran her hands up her body like they were mine.
“Fuck,” I muttered. She truly was trying to kill me.
I started shedding my clothes as quickly as I could. Once I was naked, Kiera drank me in, then said, “I want you in me.”
Goddamn. She hadn’t said it quietly. She’d said it firmly, like an order. And it was fucking hot.
Shit. I needed a minute to regroup. And I knew a great way to distract her. “Not yet,” I said with a grin.
She actually pouted. That thrilled me. I dropped to my knees in front of her, cherishing her body with my eyes for a second, before grabbing her leg and putting it up on my shoulder. My head spun as I stared at her, ached for her, then I leaned in to taste her, and Kiera…became unglued. She sagged against the wall, letting out noises that were completely unconscious, completely uninhibited…completely free. Everything seemed to stop, everything seemed to go still, silent, except for Kiera. A part of me knew that was unnatural. We were at a party, there should be a lot of noise, but there wasn’t, there was only Kiera…and that somehow felt really right.
My stomach clenched and my cock started to throb in warning as I continuously ran my tongue over her, and I suddenly realized what a horrible idea this was. I wasn’t going to make it; I felt like her voice alone was going to make me come if I didn’t stop. Breathless, I pulled away from her, and sought her mouth. Calm down. Give this to her. Make it last. Think of something else…anything else. Like how fucking quiet it is. Someone turned the music off…which means…we’re the entertainment now. Fuck. I don’t care.
Kiera grabbed me again, tried to lead me into her. I took her hand away before she became very unsatisfied with me. “I want you inside me…now,” she panted. I still needed a second, so I pulled back, teasing her with a quick stroke of my finger. “Oh God, please…take me, Kellan.”
A groaned, “Yes,” escaped me as my lips found her skin again. Damn, I loved it when she begged. She was desperate for more; I was desperate for more. I started walking us backward, searching for some comfortable place to lay her down. Or stand her up. Whatever. And that was when I hit something, stumbled, and accidentally sat down on the toilet seat. Thank fuck it was closed. I had to laugh at that thought, but Kiera didn’t laugh with me. No…she sank herself onto me, claiming me.
My eyes closed as her warm, wetness enveloped me, my head dropped back onto some well-placed towels behind me. “Oh God, Kiera…yes.”
She started rocking her hips, slowly, teasingly, and I bit my lip at the glorious agony coursing through me. She did it again, moaning my name, and I opened my eyes to fully absorb the goddess on top of me. “You’re beautiful,” I told her, my hands searching her body, finally resting on her hips. I love you so much.
The look on her face as she bit her lip was one I knew I’d never forget. It was innocence, confidence, love, and wanton abandon, all mixed together. And then her head dropped back, and she started truly moving her hips, taking what she needed from me, vocally letting me know what I was doing to her, and all I could do was stare at her, dumbstruck and overwhelmed. She was…perfect.
“Fuck,” I finally muttered, sitting up to kiss her chest.
She asked me not to swear, then she partially stood so she could dig into me harder. It was so intense, so deep…I would do anything she asked, if she kept doing that. “I’m sorry…fuck, I’m sorry…just please, don’t stop.”
I couldn’t contain it anymore, she was too much, this was too much, and the sounds I was starting to make were just as loud and passionate as hers. I felt the pressure building, and I knew I was right there, but Kiera was too. “Come with me,” she begged, her voice strained.
And then it was happening, and I couldn’t have stopped it if I wanted to. Kiera fell apart with me, holding me against her as her long cry of ecstasy vibrated around the room, mixing with my own groan. The relief, the high, the satisfaction…the love…I reveled in it as Kiera’s hips gently pushed against me, prolonging the moment as she moaned my name.
God…I love this woman.
Knowing without a doubt that we were done, the people on the other side of the locked door started laughing and clapping. Kiera didn’t seem to notice much as I held her to me, and I wasn’t about to point it out. “I love you,” she murmured in my neck.
Pure peace wrapping around me, I murmured, “I love you too.” So much.
I could have spent the rest of the night like that, cuddling naked on top of a toilet. But eventually, she shivered, and people started knocking on the door again. With a sigh, I helped her remove herself from me. I couldn’t keep the smile off my face as we got dressed. I would never be able to forget this night. It was permanently stuck in my brain. And I really hoped it would be stuck in Kiera’s too. I want her to always be that way with me. I want her to own me every night. Every day. Every second.
When I finally opened the bathroom door and stepped into the hallway, I felt the weight of dozens of eyes on me. The unnatural silence in the house was oppressive, but it only lasted for a second, because the moment we started walking down the hallway, people started whistling and clapping. Fuck. This party was going to be over if Kiera figured out why they were cheering. But she seemed oblivious to the people smacking me on the back, to the jealousy in the guy’s eyes as they nodded in approval, to the suggestive stares I was getting from women who seemed to think I’d just set up some sort of ride and they wanted a turn. No, Kiera seemed peacefully oblivious to all of it. Thank God.
But then, once we reached our dancing spot in the middle of the living room, Griffin rushed up to Kiera. If anyone could force the realization into Kiera’s head, it would definitely be Griffin. She’d be mortified if she figured it out, and probably pretty upset. I’d spend the rest of the night consoling her, and I didn’t want her to feel bad about what we just did. Because having her let go like that…want me like that…take me like that…damn, that was going to stay with me for the rest of my life. I didn’t regret a fucking thing, and I didn’t want her to either.
Griffin handed Kiera a beer; his face was so impressed and delighted, you would have thought he’d been in the room with us. “Kiera, I think I love you,” he gushed. Kiera made a face at him, but she grabbed his offered beer and took a sip.
Griffin was giddy as he smacked me on the chest. “You are the luckiest fucking son of a bitch.” He handed me the beer in his other hand, and his joy flipped to a frown. “I mean, I hated you before, but now, I really can’t stand you.”
While that comment normally would have amused me, I needed the jackass to shut up before he connected the dots for Kiera. Thankfully, she still seemed clueless as she stared at Griffin in confusion. Good. I tried pushing him away to get him to shut up, but jostling him didn’t stop his mouth. “That was so hot…like, off the scales hot. You guys should make a porno…I’d totally buy it!”
Kiera sputtered the sip of beer she’d just taken, and I knew those words were penetrating her drunken haze, filling in blanks that I didn’t want filled in just yet. Goddamn it, Griffin. Her face was starting to pale as the people around us either laughed at Griffin or nodded in agreement with him. Knowing I needed to change the mood in here quick, I shoved Griffin out of my way and hurried over to the silent stereo. I turned it up to nightclub levels again, then hopped on Matt’s super-sturdy coffee table. This group needed to be entertained if they were going to forget about the bathroom, and if there was one thing on Earth I was good at, it was entertaining people.
The song playing was a good anthem type song. I started singing it to the people around me, and they started singing it right back. As a group began to form around the coffee table, making a mini stage for me, I extended my hand to Kiera so she could join me in the spotlight. She laughed as she did, and I knew she’d let Griffin’s crude comment slide. I’d tell her about it later, because I didn’t want her to find out from someone else, but not now. Now was just for having fun.
Chapter 14
GOODBYE
Much to my dismay, the night eventually turned into morning. Partiers started leaving, wishing me luck with a clap on the shoulder. When only a handful of people were left, Matt shut off the music. “Bed…sleep…me…” he muttered, before retreating with Rachel to his room.
Kiera yawned in my arms as we slow danced to silence. Knowing she was done, I led her to the couch. We sat for a moment, but it was pretty clear by Kiera’s lethargy that she was seconds away from passing out. I laid down on the couch and Kiera climbed right on top of me, settling herself on my chest, using me as her body pillow. I couldn’t stop smiling as I gently stroked her back. This was heaven. And I was really going to miss it.
I forced that awful thought from my tired brain as people collapsed in other furniture around us. A guy in the chair closest to me, leaned over and lightly punched my shoulder. “Dude…your girlfriend is seriously hot.” My arms instinctively tightened around her. I know…back off. I must have been glaring at the guy, ‘cause he raised his hands and leaned back. “Just…the bathroom thing was hot. Totally made me miss my girl…”
His thought trailed off as his expression changed. “She’s not here?” I asked, curious.
He shook his head. “Nah, she went to a college back east. We’re doing the whole long-distance thing.” With a sigh, he let his head drop back. “It fucking sucks. Like really fucking sucks. I’m pretty sure she’s…” His face hardened, then he shook his head. “It just sucks. I don’t recommend it. We should have just broken up…” His face softened again; he looked absolutely miserable.
Ice chilled my veins listening to him. Jesus. Was this my future? I squeezed Kiera tighter, refusing to let her go. “Sorry, man.”
The guy shook his head. “Yeah…anyway, your band, you’re really good…good luck on the road.”
His gaze took in Kiera on my chest, then his face hardened again, and he shot up off the chair like it was on fire. I had to swallow the sudden lump of anxiety in my throat as he stalked off. No…that wouldn’t be us. That couldn’t be us.
Someone else took lonely-guy’s seat, and I silently prayed they wouldn’t want to talk. But of course, they did. “Okay…what exactly happened in that bathroom. Like play-by-play. Details. Come on, help a brother out.”
Rolling my eyes, I shook my head at him. “Nothing happened.”
He gave me a really face. Then he sighed. “Come on…you’ve got to give me something. That sounded so fucking hot!”
With a laugh, I closed my eyes. “Sleeping…can’t talk…”
The guy socked my shoulder, but he took the hint and left me alone.
A couple more people wanted to comment on my night after details-guy left. I was polite, but vague. Even though it had been a relatively public event, it was still none of their business. Eventually the questions and comments stopped, and I drifted off to sleep. Lonely-guy must have been stuck in my head though because the dream I had…wasn’t good.
I was standing in a generic room with Kiera. Her expression was so blank, it was ice-cold. It wasn’t an expression I was used to seeing on her, especially around me. The air was thick with tension, and I had no idea why. Until she spoke. “We’re over, Kellan.”
My heart started racing in my chest. “What do you mean?” I had to be misunderstanding her…but somehow, I knew I wasn’t.
She lifted her hands to indicate the room we were in. “You’re never here. And I need to be with someone who’s here. I can’t do this anymore.”
My chest flared with pain; it felt like I was having a heart attack. “Kiera, please.” Don’t do this.
I tried to hold her, but she brushed off my attempt with an irritated look on her face, like she was brushing off mosquitos. “No. This isn’t enough for me.” Crossing her arms, she pointedly lifted her eyebrows. “You’re not enough for me.”
I woke with a start, my heart pounding, my head pounding. Goddamn it…I should have just stayed awake. Relax, it was just a bad dream. She’s still yours…none of that actually happened. But still, the horror of what dream-Kiera had said wouldn’t leave me. You’re not enough for me.
I know…but stay anyway.
I felt Kiera stirring on my chest. My head was still replaying that moment, and a small part of me was…breaking. But I knew I couldn’t blame real-Kiera for something my head made her say, so I closed my eyes, forced calm into my body and focused on what I knew was true. Right now, she loved me, and she was here, in my arms. Enjoy it…while you have it.
“Mornin’,” I murmured, hugging her into me, savoring her.
“I’m right here, you don’t have to be so noisy,” she grumpily replied.
Amusement dulled the lingering pain, washing it away so that I barely felt it anymore. I did feel a headache pounding its way through my skull, but I welcomed that kind of pain. I’d take physical abuse over emotional abuse any day.
After making sure Kiera was okay, and not suffering too badly after her night, I decided to see what she remembered. Because she was going to need to know what had happened before my bandmates woke up. Well, before Griffin woke up.
Since teasing her was second nature, when she mentioned she was thirsty, I saw an opportunity, and asked if she wanted water from the kitchen…or the bathroom. Then I waited to see if the lightbulb clicked on. Remembering that moment, the total lack of restraint, the unbridled passion, the possessive way she took what she wanted from me…God, it turned me on just thinking about it, and I couldn’t keep the devilish grin off my face. I think that finally clued her in more than anything else.
“Why do you look like…?”
She sat bolt upright on my lap, shifting all her weight onto my groin. I grunted in pain as the boys were squeezed in ways they shouldn’t be squeezed this early in the morning. Ow. Eyes wide with alarm, Kiera practically yelled, “Did we have sex in the bathroom?”
I flinched as my head throbbed in protest. Kiera’s expression matched mine; she’d also hurt herself with that volume. When my head simmered down, I cracked an eye open to see Kiera’s cheeks were turning a delightful shade of red. Thoughts of her riding me, owning me, tumbled through my brain. “Oh…yeah,” I drawled.
Her eyes widened again as I smiled at her. I really hoped she remembered because that…was quite a moment. She suddenly covered her mouth with her hands, and I could practically see the memories replaying in her eyes. So, she does remember. Good.
“Oh my God,” she said, shaking her head. “Did they all hear us?”
Biting my lip, I avoided eye contact. She wasn’t going to like this. “Well…we really weren’t being quiet, and it is a pretty small bathroom…so…” And the fuckers turned off the music so they could hear everything. I knew better than to mention that though. I’d never get her to go to a party again.
Kiera groaned and dropped her head to my chest. “Oh my God.”
I rubbed her back in sympathy. “Don’t worry about it, Kiera. Everyone told me they thought it was hot.”
She snapped her head up, her eyes narrowed. “Everyone?”
“Just the few I talked to after you passed out.” Saying that made the conversation with lonely-guy try to resurface in my head, but I shoved him—and my dream—to a dusty corner. I’d rather focus on the drum beating against my brain than relive that nightmare.
Kiera didn’t seem any less embarrassed as she dropped her head back to my chest and murmured, “Oh my God,” again.
I tried to reassure her, let her know how much I liked her letting go like that. If she only knew how long that memory was going to stay with me, how fondly I was going to treasure it… But she was having a hard time getting past the public nature of it to feel the way I felt. Especially once she realized that Griffin wanted us to make a porno because he’d heard every moan and groan. It wouldn’t surprise me in the least if he was the one who’d turned down the stereo. Asshole.
Trying to make the moment a bright spot for Kiera, I told her that at least it would be a night she wouldn’t forget. She smirked at me, but that was about it. So I told her not to be embarrassed, because I wasn’t. “You were hot, and every guy in that place wished they were me in that bathroom. I don’t feel the least bit bad that every man was jealous. As long as you’re only mine.”
That finally made a genuine smile grace her lips. “I am.”
“Good.” Because I don’t know what I would do without you.
Eventually Kiera and I got up off the couch. Okay, I got up while holding her and helped her to her feet. My girl was suffering pretty badly from last night. We made our way to the kitchen, shuffling around passed out partygoers scattered around the floor. I started making a pot of coffee, then filled a glass with water for Kiera; she instantly started chugging it. Leaning against the counter while I waited for the coffee, I wrapped my arms around Kiera. No matter where we physically woke up, this ritual, right here, was home to me. This might be what I missed most of all.
Matt came into the kitchen while Kiera coughed on some over-eager water consumption; he looked like death. “Hey, guys…good morning.”
I threw on a bright smile. “Mornin’. How do you feel?”
I already knew the answer just by looking at him, but it was fun to hear him say it. “Peachy,” he grumbled.
