Painful, page 19
Smiling at his comment, I tossed out, “Thanks!”
I tried walking with Kiera to my table, but progress was slow since it seemed like everyone in the bar wanted to shove alcohol in my face. I happily took every shot handed to me and made sure I thanked each person for their thoughtfulness. Being a little buzzed would make getting through this night a lot easier.
After I was handed my fourth shot, Kiera kissed my cheek and said, “I’ve got to get to work.” I nodded an acknowledgment at her as I threw back the drink.
“Thanks, Jake,” I said, handing the glass back to the regular who’d approached me.
I watched Kiera heading to the back room, and momentarily debated following her. Hadn’t I promised to be her shadow today? Before I’d gotten distracted by the generosity of my peers…and this weird feeling of…belonging that was happening. My head was already a little lightheaded from the fairly quick intake of multiple shots. I should probably have some water if I wanted to be standing by the time we played. Especially since I could see more people edging their way over to me, alcohol in hand.
Since I knew I’d never make it to the back room before Kiera returned to me, I decided for water instead. Looking back at the bar, I made eye contact with Rita. It wasn’t hard. Her eyes had already been glued on me. I made a drinking motion with my hand, and she winked…then set my favorite beer on the counter. Well, okay, I’ll take that too, but I’m going to need something to dilute all this.
I was shaking my head at her when I spotted Jenny walking into the bar. I shouted her name and her blue eyes snapped to where I was standing, still only about halfway to my table. I pointed at the bar and made a drinking motion. She glanced over, saw my beer waiting and grabbed it. She was already heading my way before I could stop her.
“Hey, Kellan,” she said, handing me the beer. “Are you excited?”
Containing a sigh, I smiled at her. “Yeah, I guess.” Squatting down, I met her eye. “While I’ve got you here…you remember everything we talked about?”
With a grin, she nodded. “Yep.”
“About the neighbors? And the second payment?” I’d decided to go ahead with the “bribe.” I’d delivered the first payment to Matt’s neighbors earlier this week, and as long as none of them called the cops and busted the party tonight, Jenny had agreed to make the second payment for me tomorrow. God, tomorrow…I didn’t want to think about that. Maybe water could wait after all. I had some aches I wanted to keep on the back burner.
Her face not changing, she nodded again. “Yep.”
“About our equipment? About bringing it back for us?” I nodded my head at the stage. We couldn’t just leave our setup for six months, not with Poetic Bliss taking our place; they’d have their own instruments to set up. That meant we needed someone to pack it all up and get it back to Evan’s place for us. Fuck. I shouldn’t be talking about all of this…it was dampening my burgeoning buzz.
Jenny pursed her lips, before smiling again. “That was Evan who asked me to do that, but yes, I remember.”
My smile fell as I thought about my most important request. “And…about Kiera?” I flashed a glance at the entrance to the back hallway…she still wasn’t back yet, and I suddenly had the need to see her. Like I needed to reassure myself that she was still here.
Jenny studied my expression then nodded. “Don’t let her be sad, make her have fun. Check and check.” Raising her eyebrows, she put a comforting hand on my arm. “Relax, Kellan, Rachel and I have everything under control, and we’ll drag Kiera along when we run your errands…make sure she’s too busy cleaning up after you to miss you.” With a laugh, she shook her head. “She’ll probably be too annoyed by all the menial stuff you boys have left behind to be sad.”
That made me grin. “I’m okay with her being annoyed. She’s sexy when she’s mad.” Or happy. Or nervous. Or bored. Or…anything.
Jenny let out a hearty laugh as she rolled her eyes. I wanted to go over the list again, but a shot suddenly appeared at my side. “Hey, Kellan. Here, congratulations, man!”
I twisted to face Rob, another regular, and Jenny slipped away to get ready for work. As I took Rob’s drink, I tossed out, “Thank you, Jenny!” She stuck her thumb up, and I had to laugh at her.
I was swarmed after that, barely making it to my table so I could set down my stuff. The attention was still a little mystifying, but also…really amazing. And really intoxicating since a lot of them wished me well with booze. I was feeling pretty damn good when I spotted someone else I needed to talk to tonight: Kate.
Kiera had reentered the room several minutes ago, and while I loved having her in my sight again, I needed to make sure she didn’t see this exchange. Making sure she wasn’t watching me, I opened my guitar case and grabbed my steamy, do-you-miss-me-yet letter. As I picked up the folded note, I paused to smile at the photo of Kiera and me that I always left tucked inside with my guitar. Jenny had taken this one too. It was Kiera and me, outside, caught in a laugh as we looked at each other. That photo was definitely going on the road with me. Looking at it made me wish I had tons of photos to take with me, but this would satisfy the ache of missing her. I hoped.
I took a second to gently touch Kiera’s face in the photo, then shut the case, and started threading my way through well-wishers to get to the last Pete’s waitress I needed to make plans with. “Kate…Kate-Kate-Kate.”
Kate’s expression showed her amusement when she looked up from a table of customers to grin at me. “Kellan…Kellan-Kellan-Kellan,” she teasingly mimicked. Stepping away from the table, she hugged her notepad to her chest and sighed. “I can’t believe this is the last D-Bags show for…a while. It’s not going to be the same without you guys here, you know?”
I had to swallow the sudden lump in my throat. “Yeah…” Shaking my head, my vision hazing as I did, I pushed back that pain and focused on what I wanted to say. “Hey, I was wondering…could you do me a huge favor?”
Kate’s brows bunched in curiosity. “Sure. What is it?”
I glanced around the room, looking for Kiera; she was busy helping someone several tables away from us. Hurriedly twisting back to Kate, I handed her my note. “Could you give this to Kiera at exactly midnight tomorrow? Exactly midnight. Tomorrow.”
Kate’s expression softened, like she thought I was adorable. “Of course…what is it?”
Leaning in close, I told her, “It’s a secret.”
She smirked as she looked up at me. “I see…” Biting her lip, she paused only a second before asking, “Can I read it?”
I gave her a playful frown. “But then it wouldn’t be a secret.”
“I’m really good at keeping secrets,” she said, her golden-brown eyes hopeful.
I gave her a firm face for a second, then laughed. “I don’t care. Just please, don’t let her see it before midnight tomorrow. I want it to be a surprise.”
“Sure thing,” she said, safely tucking it into her apron pocket.
“Thank you so much,” I said with a grin. After secreting a glance back at Kiera, I held up my fist for Kate. She giggled as she bumped mine with hers. Phase one was now complete. Everything was in place.
I was ear-to-ear smiles with a light heart—and a light head—as I turned to walk back to my table. Before I could leave, Kate touched my elbow and I looked back at her. “Hey, congratulations, Kellan. This really is…very cool.”
I nodded at Kate, grateful for her words…and for her accepting my favor. Kiera was going to love that steamy letter and who knows, Kate might like it too. She did share Kiera’s love of romance novels after all.
When I got back to my table, Kiera was waiting for me…with a large glass of water in her hand. I almost looked back at Kate, but Kiera didn’t seem curious so she must have missed the exchange. I didn’t want to spoil the surprise by clueing her in to the fact that something was being planned behind her back, so I ignored my partner-in-crime and reserved all my focus for my beautiful girlfriend.
“Drink this,” she said, handing the water to me.
I took a sip, grateful, then I set it on the table and pulled her into me. “Can I drink you instead?” I asked. That sounded by far more appealing than water or alcohol.
Kiera laughed, her eyes a calm shade of brown rimmed with green. She shook her head, then softly kissed my cheek, and I marveled at the fact that my skin still warmed with longing whenever her lips touched me. I hoped that never went away. I hoped she never went away.
But she did go away. For the moment, at least; she got called over by hungry customers at a nearby table while I got approached by even more people wanting to congratulate me. And I tried really hard to not let that split feel symbolic.
As more alcohol was handed to me, I became even more grateful for Kiera’s water, and for the fact that every time I turned around, it seemed to have somehow been refilled. It was so nice having someone take care of me. So foreign. So…welcome. I was really going to miss that.
Eventually, the rest of my band arrived at the bar. I knew the instant they did—the whole place went nuts. And it was packed, so the noise was substantial. I didn’t think I’d ever seen the bar this full this long before a show. It was heartwarming, and surreal, and it drilled through the numb of my buzz, making my chest ache. Especially when Pete came out of his office.
Pete had always looked a little worn to me, but tonight he seemed extra weary. He quieted the bar with raised hands while I made my way over to my friends. Pete’s eyes locked on me as he softly smiled. “Kellan…boys…you’ve done wonders for my little pub, and I’ll never forget that. If and when you return, you will always have a place here.”
The ache in my chest squeezed into an almost painful wrenching sensation, and my gaze drifted to the floor. Leaving…sucked. But man, I loved what he’d just said, because this place would always be important to me. Having that feeling reciprocated was surprisingly wonderful. I’m so glad I didn’t run from here.
Pete made an oddly emotional noise, and I peeked up at him. God, if he lost it…I would not be able to keep it together. But thankfully, Pete didn’t test my emotional resilience. He shook off his sentiment and indicated the entire bar. “Anyway…a round for everybody, on the house!”
I had to widen my eyes at hearing that. Pete wasn’t one to throw around free booze. I’d have to make sure I sent him some money after I was gone, make sure tonight didn’t hurt his bank account too much. I owed him that much. Honestly, I owed him way more than I could ever repay. I’d never really felt home until I’d come here. Damn, I was going to miss this place. Keep it together, Kellan. Jesus.
As Pete began walking over to us, I peeked over at Kiera. Her face was pale as she took in the massive number of thirsty patrons around her who were now expecting free alcohol. Damn. She was going to be busy for a while. Maybe I should throw on an apron and help her. That could be fun. I was just about to do it when Pete stepped in front of us and clapped me on the arm.
“The bar won’t be the same without you boys,” he muttered. “But I do appreciate you lining up another act for me. They’re good…right?”
Smiling, I nodded. “Yeah, you’ll like ‘em. Give them time, they’ll draw a crowd.”
Pete nodded, then, out of the blue, he smiled brightly at me. “Hey, once you are all huge stars…I want to put your name on the door. Pete’s Bar, Home of the D-Bags,” he said with a flourish of his hands. “Would that be all right with all of you?”
My mouth popped open in disbelief. Really? I glanced around at Matt, Griffin, and Evan. They looked just as stunned as me. Well, except Griffin. He was smirking and nodding, like he’d expected as much. I couldn’t even comprehend a world where we were big enough to warrant that kind of honor, but Pete looked so much happier now just thinking about it, that I couldn’t deny him his request. Seeing approval on my bandmates’ faces, I told him, “Yeah, that would be…Yes, thank you.”
Pete beamed at us, thanking us each in turn and shaking our hands. It was all so out there…I suddenly needed more alcohol. And Kiera. I needed things to start feeling real again.
Pete left us with a genuine bounce in his step. I could only shake my head at him. Home of the D-Bags…I had to admit, I loved the sound of it. Not former home of the D-Bags, not birthplace of the D-Bags, no, just…home. As in now and forever it was our place, and that was a really comforting thought.
“Can you believe that shit?” I asked, twisting to face the guys.
Matt was bouncing on his toes he was so excited. Rachel giggled at his side, loving his glee. “Oh my God, Kellan…dude! Home of the D-Bags…” He sighed as he wrapped an arm around Rachel. “I love it.”
Evan nodded. “It’s perfect.”
Griffin frowned. “You know what’s gonna happen though, right? Fucking place is gonna become a goddamn tourist trap—with our pictures everywhere, and D-Bags merch everywhere, and horny fans coming in from all over the world…” He paused, then grinned. “I fucking love it.”
I shook my head at Griffin’s assessment of our future fame. He was even more ridiculous than Kiera.
Once the band was all together, the drinks coming our way were fast and furious. I felt too bad to reject anyone’s goodbye gift, so it didn’t take long for me to get completely, totally soused. Feeling like my head was detached from my body, I pulled Matt aside. Or yanked him aside. “Dude…you’re ready for the party, right?”
Matt nodded. He started to move away, but I stepped in front of him. It took me a second to catch my balance. “Music? Food? Those fruity drinks girls like?”
Matt laughed as he helped steady me. “Yeah, Kell…it’s not my first party. We’re good to go.”
A dopey grin spread over my face. “Good. I want this night to be fun for Kiera. Fun for everyone.”
He nodded as he sipped on a beer. “It will be.” Raising an eyebrow, he looked me over. “Are you drinking everything they hand you?”
My words felt slow in my head, thick coming out of my mouth. “Yeah…what else would I do with it?”
Matt pursed his lips and pointed at our table. My slow gaze followed his finger to see about two dozen shots just sitting there, hanging out. Looking at all the alcohol heaped together like that made me a little nauseous. God…I hoped no one expected me to drink all that.
Matt smacked me on the back. “You’re gonna die if you drink it all, man. Tell them thanks, then set it down, okay?”
I looked back up at him; his face was blurry. Damn. I should have started doing that a while ago. “Uh-huh, yeah…I’m-a find…Kiera.” Food. That was what I needed. And my girlfriend…I really fucking missed her.
Matt laughed at me, then handed me a glass of water. “You better be able to play, man.”
I gave him a thumbs up as I chugged the water. I had time. I could sober up. And if not…I was pretty good at faking it. Matt sighed. “And here I thought I was gonna have to babysit Griffin.” He jerked his thumb over at his cousin; he didn’t seem nearly as drunk as me. Probably because he was too busy being fawned over by a handful of girls. I smirked at Matt’s comment, then flipped him off.
I looked around for Kiera, but I didn’t see her anywhere. Weird, since it was a zoo in here. Jenny and Kate were both around, hustling to satisfy everybody. Rita was busy at the bar; even with Troy pulling a double shift to stay and help her, it was pretty chaotic up there. So, where the hell was my girlfriend?
My sloppy head twisted toward the direction of the back hallway. Was she waiting somewhere private for me? Did she miss me too? Grinning, I started weaving my way through the crowd for her. I felt some aggressively friendly fingers stroke my body as I walked by, heard murmurs of sexual promises in my ears, and even noticed a few things being shoved into my pockets, but I ignored it all as I continued to the back hallway. I was on a mission, and I was not going to be stopped.
Although, I did pause once I reached a garbage can and emptied my pockets. Even drunk, I knew Kiera finding strange phone numbers in my jeans wouldn’t end well. And I wanted tonight to end…amazing.
Curious if she was in the back room, I slowly opened the door. Ah-ha…she was in here. Seeing her rummaging through a box of condiments made me smile. She hadn’t noticed me, or if she had, she was ignoring me. I wasn’t about to let her ignore me, not tonight, but there was something about secretly watching her work that was seriously turning me on. The loose ponytail, the tight jeans, the way her shirt was just begging for me to untuck it from her pants…it was all working for me. Or maybe it was just this room. A lot had happened in here, some of it painful, some of it…un-fucking-believable. I’d told her I loved her in here. Turning back to the door, I locked it.
Wondering if she’d roleplay a little with me, I strode right up behind her; if she really hadn’t been aware I was here before, she was now. Trapping her against the shelves with my body, I lowered my voice and murmured in her ear, “Don’t turn around.”
She startled, then started turning. Didn’t I just tell you not to do that, Kiera? Grinning, I made her head stay forward, then pressed myself harder into her back. She knew it was me, right? “I said, don’t turn around.”
Her body was still stiff, tight, vibrating with nervous energy. Did she really not recognize my voice? Not able to stomach tormenting her any longer, I started laughing. She instantly relaxed in my arms and spun to face me. “Kellan! You scared the shit out of me!”
She started smacking my chest, and I stumbled back with a laugh. I hadn’t meant to scare her, but God, she was cute when she swore. Whatever fear had been there a second ago definitely wasn’t there now; there was heat in her eyes, desire. It made an undeniable ache head straight to my groin. I want you.
I pulled her into my body, where she belonged. “You’re disobeying me…” I playfully said, then I backed her against the shelves, pressing my body flush against hers, where it belonged. “I may just have to punish you tonight,” I whispered. Fuck, now I really want you.
That familiar passion flared between us, and before I knew it, we were both breathing heavy, her shirt was free of her jeans, and my hand was down her thankfully stretchy jeans. Yes…this is happening.
