The Lost God, page 7
Cecilia laughed as she funneled the extremely sweet mixture of tea, lemon, mint, and sugar that acted as a quick boost of energy if she had to burn through a bunch of magic quickly. It was invaluable to her in the field.
A light tap on the door startled them. Cecilia hopped up and opened it but found no one. She went to step out and nearly tripped on two dozen of the most beautiful pale pink roses she’d ever seen. She picked them up and took a deep breath, inhaling their scent. Her eyes widened as she realized they were the very roses she’d been staring at the night before. Another paper bird was tucked between the stems.
Beautiful Cece — I always keep my promises. Safe travels.
Cecilia couldn’t stop smiling. She was sure her hunter was watching from the shadows.
Rainer froze when he saw the roses. She pushed by him, back into the cottage, busying herself looking for a vase and putting the roses in water to hide the flush creeping up her neck.
“Cece, those look like those roses from the queen’s garden that you’re always looking at,” Rainer said.
“I suspect they are,” Cecilia said.
“Who are they from?”
Rainer’s eyes burned into her, and she couldn’t think of a lie.
“They’re from that hunter, aren’t they? I knew he was trouble after that dance, but stealing roses from the queen’s garden—” Rainer blew out a breath.
“He knows how much I like them.” Cecilia couldn’t stop smiling.
“I can’t tell if he’s romantic or insane.”
“Probably safe to say he’s a bit of both.”
“What did you do to inspire that kind of show of affection?” Rainer asked.
“I haven’t done anything—yet.”
“Did you ever figure out who he is?”
“Not yet.” Cecilia shivered, remembering his lips grazing hers and his hands all over her skin. She wished she’d had more time with him.
“Well, I think if he really knew the way to your heart, he would have shown up with two dozen lemon cakes, not two dozen roses.”
Rainer’s jealousy was so new to her. She didn’t know what to make of it.
“Why do you like him so much?”
Cecilia sighed. “He has a sense of humor and no pretense. He says what he means. We just talk. It’s nice to be myself.”
“I talk to you.”
“Yes, but you don’t have those kinds of feelings about me. Everything you think about me is related to risk analysis.”
Rainer looked offended. “That’s not true. I love talking to you.”
Butterflies fluttered in her stomach. “I don’t know how to explain it. He puts me at ease. He’s funny and charming.”
Cecilia looked at the roses again and set the little bird note on the table. Rainer read it.
“What did he promise, Cece?”
“That’s between the two of us.”
They were both quiet. Rainer looked over at the roses again and said, “He must really like you to take a risk like that.”
She shrugged, delighted by the flirtation but unwilling to give too much credit.
They went back to studying their plans and reading about the obstacles they might encounter on their way to the last seven caves, the entire Gauntlet culminating with the Cave of Longings, the farthest cave, deeper in Argarian territory than any of the others.
Morning tipped into afternoon, sliding into evening as she finished packing her clothing into a satchel just as they needed to head out for a goodbye dinner with her father and aunt.
At dinner, her father was especially quiet, but Cecilia was relieved Rainer didn’t bring up her hunter in front of him. Aunt Clara made light conversation about fall plans for her garden. Cecilia was so distracted by her father’s somberness, it was hard to keep up with the small talk.
Back at the cottage, Cecilia and Rainer were quiet and tense as he tucked an extra map in his bag.
“Will you show me a memory?” Rainer asked. “I think we’re both nervous, and it always seems to calm us down.”
Throughout their lives, whenever they had a moment they both wanted to remember, Rainer would share the memory with her. All she had to do was hold his hand and pull a copy. He would still retain it, but her power allowed her to preserve it perfectly.
The memories were immersive, infused with smell and emotion. Recalling them truly felt like being back in the moment.
“What do you want to see?” Cecilia asked.
“Surprise me.”
They sat together on the edge of the bed. She closed her eyes, considering which to show him, reaching for his hand. She pressed gently on his mind. He let her in. An image of Rainer at thirteen flashed into their minds, which meant they were in the memory of eleven-year-old Cecilia.
Rainer dashed ahead, taking the ropes course on like it was nothing. He was taller and faster; his grip strength was better. She was terrified of letting him down.
“Cece, hurry.” Rainer sighed, impatiently looking back at her from where he stood halfway across the ropes course.
She looked down at the ground. The fall wouldn’t kill her, but she’d watched a guardian fall and break a leg earlier. She reached for the next post, but it was too far. If she were taller, she could reach it, but she was still so tiny. Rainer hadn’t even needed the support rope to get across. He’d been able to jump it, and now he was sighing impatiently in front of her. She swung as hard as she could and let go, landing on the platform with him.
“Come on, you’re slowing us down too much. We’ll never come in first with you being so slow,” he huffed, swinging across the longer distance to the next platform.
He swung the rope back to her. She caught it but hesitated. She heard other guardians snickering. A fresh rush of tears blurred her eyes. Frustration set in.
Rainer was already reaching for the next rope—leaving her behind. Cecilia swung, letting go at the apex of the arc through the air, but missed the platform.
She screamed as her hands flailed for purchase. Her left hand clamped onto a steel support just below the platform. It sliced into her hand, but she didn’t let go.
“Rainy!”
The strangled cry didn’t even sound like her. Blood slid down her wrist from where the metal bit into her hand as it grew numb and slick. She slipped.
Suddenly Rainer appeared above her. His hand clamped around her wrists, and he pulled her up. She landed in his arms and clung to him.
“We have to go, Cece. We’re almost there,” he soothed, helping her to her feet.
She nodded and blinked back tears. There was only one element left. He scooted across the rope first, one footstep at a time, holding on to the balance rope for support. When he was across, she followed, ignoring the pain in her hand as she clung to the balance rope. By the time she crossed, every muscle in her body felt wrung out.
Guardian McIver frowned at the two of them. “Very sloppy, McKay.”
Rainer looked like he wanted to shrivel up and die. Cecilia felt a sharp anger in her chest. She lifted her palm, ready to heal it.
“Not so fast, little witch. There won’t be any healing this wound. This is meant to remind both of you of the cost of not working together.”
“But, sir, Cece is a lady. She’s the huntmaster’s daughter,” Rainer stammered.
“So she should be treated differently than everyone else?” McIver asked.
Neither of them had a reply as he clasped an Unsummoner bracelet on Cecilia’s wrist, and she felt the connection to her magic sever.
“How long?” she asked, looking up at Guardian McIver and trying to keep tears from her eyes.
“Just three days. Until it’s sure to scar. A scar is a lesson learned.”
Cecilia looked down at the crescent-shaped cut on the outside edge of her left palm and swallowed hard.
She followed Rainer down the ladder to the ground. As they walked by the guardians who’d been snickering the whole time, Anders Everett stepped forward.
“It’s such a shame, Cece. You were pretty before, but now you’re ruined,” Anders teased. “Boys can get away with scars because it shows they’re tough. Girls with scars are ugly.”
“Shut up, Anders,” Rainer said, guiding Cecilia away.
Rainer took her to her cottage and cleaned and wrapped the wound. He tried calming her down, but she wouldn’t stop crying.
“It’s going to be okay, Cece. It’s a small scar,” he said.
“But I’ll never be pretty again. Anders says scars are ugly on girls. He said I’m ruined.”
“Cece, you aren’t ruined. Anders was being an asshole. I still think you’re really pretty.” Her heart skipped as he reassured her. “It’s just your hand. No one will even notice it.”
Cecilia sniffled. “I’ll notice it.”
“Scars are just reminders of the things we’ve survived. This is just a sign that you are stronger than the thing that tried to break you, Cece. When a boy sees this, he will know that you are brave and strong, and you don’t want anyone who doesn’t like that, anyway.”
She smiled through her tears. A serious crease formed in Rainer’s brow.
Cecilia reached up, running her thumb over the line. “I found a worry, but I’ll fix it in a hurry,” she whispered.
Rainer’s face instantly relaxed at the familiar rhyme she spouted off whenever he was tense. “This was my fault. I shouldn’t have rushed you. I should have realized how far a leap it would be for you. You’re so quick at everything. I just assumed you would be all right, and that was wrong. We’re supposed to be a team, and today I let you down. I won’t do it again. Here.”
He grabbed the dagger from the sheath on her thigh. He unwrapped her bandage and held up her hand so he could see the wound. Then he took his own left hand and grimaced as he cut almost the exact gash into it. She stared at him in shock. He held his hand next to hers. Two crescent-shaped wounds, nearly identical marks to remind them both not to make the same mistake twice.
“Now we match. Am I ugly?” he asked, wiping a tear from her cheek with his finger.
“No.” She sniffed. “You look the same.”
“And so do you.” Rainer smiled. “From now on, anytime we really mean something, we will make it a crescent promise, okay? Crescent promise that you will stop worrying about a little scar.”
She couldn’t help but smile back. “I crescent promise.”
He rinsed his wound and cleaned it. Then he wrapped his hand and rewrapped hers. Cecilia flopped down on the bed, and Rainer lay down next to her. They stared at each other as Rainer told a story.
“Hey, Rainy?”
“You really need to stop calling me that. I hate it,” Rainer huffed.
“You’re my best friend.”
“You’re my best friend, too, Cece.”
Cecilia wiped away a tear as Rainer blinked his eyes open.
“Why that memory?” he asked.
“I always watch it when I feel anxious. It’s the memory that makes me feel less alone.”
Rainer was quiet for a moment. “I never hated that nickname,” he rasped.
“I know.”
What Rainer did that day reminded her that whatever wounds she might be dealt, there was someone there to bear witness to each one and share the burden. As cruel as Guardian McIver was, that scar did teach Cecilia an important lesson: a wound doesn’t need to leave a scar for it to go on hurting. She’d experienced more pain in her life from invisible scars than ones the world could see.
6
Rainer helped Cecilia carry her bags to the stables and secured them to her horse, a shiny black stallion with a spectral white marking on his head that earned him the name Little Ghost.
Fanfare of the send-off reached all the way to the stables. Several duos were riding out along with them in case Rainer and Cece were unsuccessful. She knew it was a contingency, but it made her uneasy, even though they were all headed to cover different parts of the Gauntlet.
“Rain, if you check those supplies one more time, I’m going to scream.” Cecilia sighed. “We have everything.”
“It’s soothing,” he said, though he finally stopped. “I guess there’s only one thing left to do.”
Cecilia grinned as they walked to the entrance to the stables like they did before every Gauntlet run. It was a tradition Rainer started with her when they were young, any time she was nervous about a test or upcoming challenge.
When they assigned him to Cecilia as a boy, Rainer didn’t understand the complexity of the job. He was unaccustomed to handling Cecilia’s emotional extremes. It took a lecture from Captain McIver to explain that guardians handle both their bonded witch’s physical safety and emotional well-being. Storytelling was how he helped settle Cecilia when she was overwhelmed.
They pressed their palms together and interlaced their fingers for the ritual that had become more superstition than necessity.
“Once upon a time, there was a guardian,” Rainer started.
“And a witch,” Cecilia continued.
“Who went on a Gauntlet run,” Rainer said.
“And both came back safe, healthy, and happy,” Cecilia finished.
Rainer hugged her. She stayed there for a moment, enjoying the feeling of being held.
They walked to their waiting horses. Rainer pointed at a rose among the arrows in Cecilia’s quiver.
“Looks like your secret admirer has struck again,” Rainer teased.
Cecilia tried to hide her heated cheeks as she pulled out the rose and the attached bird note.
Beautiful Cece. Be safe. Packed you and your guardian a surprise.
She shoved her hand inside her satchel and found a package of freshly baked lemon cakes.
“That’s unnerving. We only walked away for a second,” Rainer said, his eyes shifting around the stable.
“He’s very unnerving,” she agreed.
Rainer ignored the comment and boosted her onto her horse before mounting his own. They rode to the royal dais in silence. Leo Reznik, Captain McIver, and the royal family waited amongst cheering townsfolk. Cecilia hopped down and hugged her father. They received disapproving looks from some of the aristocracy, but Leo smiled and kissed Cecilia on the cheek.
“My little storm, you have your dagger?” Leo asked.
Cecilia patted her thigh where she always wore the dagger her father had gifted her when she was just a girl. It was light and balanced so she could use it up close or for throwing. She also suspected that it held an enchantment of some sort, because every time she touched it, she felt a magical resonance in her body.
Leo nodded. “Good. Be brave and careful. Take care of Rainer. I will see you soon. I have faith in you.”
There was a hint of sadness in his eyes.
“You’ll be here when I get back?” she asked.
Leo frowned. “You know I can’t promise that, Cecilia. But I’ll do my best.”
She kissed him on the cheek and mounted her horse before she had time to cry in front of the crowd, waving as they rode off into the morning.
Cecilia was quiet for a while, trying to settle her worry over her father and focus on the change of scenery from the bustling downtown of Olney City to the tranquil farmland.
The heat was oppressive, and while Rainer thrived in the humidity, Cecilia couldn’t stand it. Her hair clung to her neck, and the wisps around her face sprung into tighter coils. She could never get cool enough. She complained endlessly, though Rainer didn’t seem to mind.
They’d be in Olney territory for several days, so Rainer was more relaxed than he would be the rest of the trip. Cecilia loved seeing him enjoy the peace and beauty of the forest. Once they were close to the border, he’d become anxious and edgy.
The first few days brought them to familiar places as they passed through Olney vineyards, several hunter army outposts, and the Whistling Meadows, one of Cecilia’s favorite places. In the summer, the meadow was full of wildflowers in a kaleidoscope of colors, and the wind slid through reeds along the far edge, creating a soft whistling sound.
There were few travelers on the road. The threat of war appeared more real to people in the country than in Olney City.
In the quiet, Cecilia’s mind drifted to her time in the garden with the hunter. She wasn’t sure what she was doing with him. She kept telling herself it was just for fun, but that didn’t explain why she couldn’t stop thinking about it.
“Do you think I’m being stupid?” Cecilia asked.
Rainer laughed. “I never know what is going to come out of your mouth after those long silences. About what, exactly?”
“The hunter from home.”
“What does Sylvie say?”
“I had little time to talk to her about it before we left, but you know how she is. Any attention is good attention to Sylvie,” she said, trying to smooth the sweaty hair away from her face.
“I don’t think you’re being stupid,” Rainer said. “I’m not sure what exactly you’re doing. You’ve never been terribly interested in casual relationships, and I’m not sure what kind of long-term prospect a hunter would present.”
“Have you ever given a girl flowers?”
“Only if I was trying to bed her.”
Cecilia rolled her eyes.
“I’m kidding,” Rainer said. “I guess I’ve done it a few times, but I’ve never stolen two-dozen roses from the queen’s garden and left them with a love note, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“It was not a love note,” she said.
“Beautiful Cece. Sounds like a love note. Plus, he sneaked those lemon cakes into your bag. That requires a certain level of genuine interest unless you made him really desperate to get you into bed.”
“Doubtful.” She sighed.
Rainer frowned. “I’m surprised you want to slum it with a hunter.”
In the past, Rainer had never been a snob when it came to hunters. Although Rainer was part of the aristocracy like all the other guardians, he never acted like he was entitled to the advantage. He practiced relentlessly and even spent considerable time training with the hunters, though it wasn’t a requirement.
