The Lost God, page 4
3
Cecilia stared at her hand, which looked pale and insubstantial in the hunter’s. He said something, but she couldn’t hear him over the rush of her heartbeat in her ears.
She gasped as his other hand came to her low back and he pressed her body to his. It was not the starting position for the Olney Step. There should have been plenty of space between them.
The hunter spoke again, but all she could hear over the murmur of the crowd was her thunderous pulse.
“Cece.” His insistent voice finally cut through the din. “Look at my eyes.”
She met his gaze, and her senses sharpened. She tuned in to the feelings around him, sensing the buzzing of his excitement, and a hint of curiosity.
“Good. Now keep looking and don’t look at anyone or anything else until we’re done.”
Cecilia didn’t mind letting him take control when she felt moments from fainting, an embarrassment from which she’d never recover.
“I paid the musicians to change the song,” the hunter said. “We’ll be doing a Reldan, and I’m leading, so you have nothing to worry about.”
She couldn’t wrangle the words to argue. The Reldan was a dance of seduction. It was slow and sensual, and she hadn’t practiced it in months.
“No, that’s stupid.” Cecilia’s words came out like a dying gasp.
“You’ll be fine. Trust me,” he whispered as the first note sounded.
“I wouldn’t trust you if my life depended on it.”
His lips quirked up in a grin as he led her through the first few steps of the dance. She remembered enough to be a passable partner as the hunter guided her into the first dip. He spun her back against his chest, and his lips brushed her ear, sending shivers scattering over her skin.
“You’re stiff as a board, Cece. Relax and let me have control. I promise I’ll make you look and feel good,” the hunter whispered as his fingers skimmed up the bare skin of her arm.
All of her nerves dissipated as she spun back to face him, pressing her hips flush to his. She relaxed into him, letting him truly lead for the first time. He was a graceful, confident dancer and certainty seemed to bleed from his body into hers. Her shoulders relaxed, and her grip on his hand and shoulder loosened as she allowed herself more flourishes.
Cecilia ran her fingers down the hunter’s chest as she spun away. He pulled her back against him. His hand skimmed over her neck as she leaned her head back on his shoulder, closing her eyes for a breath before he twirled her back. She hooked her leg over his thigh, giving a flash of skin through the slit in her dress as they leaned, then took two quick steps back. Their bodies moved as one, as if made to dance with each other, and her heart quickened more from the desire stoked by his touch than the dance itself. Her skin heated, the buzz in her body growing to a fever pitch with every brush of his fingers.
People claimed the Reldan was a dance of passion, and for the first time in her life, Cecilia understood how simple steps in a dance could seduce and entice. It was like his body was teaching hers something it didn’t know yet, but wanted to.
As the music ended, she dropped her head back as the hunter dipped her, before she tucked her chin, meeting his warm hazel eyes again. She couldn’t help but smile.
“Gods, you’re beautiful,” he whispered.
Her cheeks heated, but a hard yank on the connection she shared with Rainer startled her so much she nearly fell right out of the dip. Cecilia’s eyes went wide as she remembered an entire room of people were watching.
The hunter pulled her up to stand. She quickly curtseyed, and he bowed to her as the crowd tentatively applauded.
The hunter bent to kiss her hand, meeting her eyes. “Your body moves like it was made for mine, Cece. Find me later if you want to know for sure.”
He strode off, leaving her speechless.
The band broke back into song, couples took to the dance floor, and Rainer was on her in seconds.
“Really, Cece, a Reldan?” Rainer whispered, yanking her against his body in the illusion of dance. “I can’t believe the way you let him touch you in front of the entire kingdom.”
Cecilia intentionally stomped on his toes. “It’s a beautiful and sensual dance. What’s wrong with changing things up? It was awfully stuffy in here.”
Rainer’s mouth tugged into a perfect smirk that made her eager to do reckless things. “It hardly sends the message that you’re looking for serious suitors.”
“Neither does dancing with you.” She slammed her foot down on his toes again, and he winced before tripping her and then catching her around the waist before she could fall.
“Don’t bullshit me. I know you liked it. I could feel how much you wanted him from clear across the room.”
“Perhaps I was just attracted to his confidence.”
Rainer rolled his eyes. “Yes, and perhaps he’s just attracted to your skill with a bow.”
“Well, I wouldn’t blame him. I’m an unparalleled talent.”
“And so modest,” Rainer quipped.
“You don’t need to be modest when you’re the top-ranked archer in the kingdom.”
“Fine, but for someone who has the magic to read people’s emotions all the time, you sure miss a lot.”
Cecilia grimaced. “Just because I can read people doesn’t mean that I do. I have boundaries, and walking around reading people all day would be an exhausting invasion of privacy. I only really notice things from people when what they say doesn’t match how they feel. The dissonance between feeling and expression is what I read—like when Nora Belani walks up to me and says it’s good to see me, but I feel that she doesn’t like that I’m there and wishes she had you to herself.”
Rainer rolled his eyes as he moved her around the floor in slightly stilted movements. “That hunter looked like he was moments from sweeping you off to his bed.”
No one else would have seen it, but she’d been studying Rainer McKay her whole life. She knew all the secret things written on his face, like the words to their favorite fairy tales. Rainer tried to keep his emotions in, but jealousy snuck through. She felt a thrill of satisfaction in turning the tables on him for once. She pressed on, even though she didn’t understand why some wounded part of her wanted to lash out at the person she loved.
“Perhaps I should have let him.”
Rainer’s grip tightened on her hand. “Is this what happens when I leave you alone too long? Someone swoops in and steals you from me?”
“I’m not yours, Rain.” She wished the words were true.
They stood suspended for a beat. It was satisfying seeing him disoriented for once. Rainer had a way of making every stumble look like an intentional choice.
He quickly recovered, pulling her back before spinning her. “I know that, Cece, but it doesn’t mean I like someone else having you.”
Fury burned through her like a fever, the heat of it opening their connection wide, the way powerful emotions always did.
“You’re angry,” he said.
She pressed her lips together, willing herself not to say anything, and failing. “Rain, you have everything. You sleep with a different girl every week and then use me to insulate you from the chaos you leave in your wake. Every time you sense anyone getting close to me, you feel a need to step in and yank me back from any happiness that might be just my own. You can’t stand the idea of someone taking my attention away from you. Rainer McKay has to be the center of everyone’s world. Why can’t you just let me have this one thing without cheapening it?”
She didn’t care that her words hurt him. Maybe it was the wine, or maybe the hunter’s offer made her bold. Maybe it just felt good to have something to get her mind off the fact that she couldn’t have Rainer.
“I was nervous, and he made me feel at ease. I thought you’d want that for me.”
As the song ended, he pulled her close, his breath hot on her ear. “I’ve never seen you look more lovely. I saw you tonight, and I hated the idea of anyone else having you when you look like you do right now.”
The words kicked her heart into a frenzy. She suspected he said it more to keep her attention on him than to show genuine interest in her. Rainer could be so vain.
Cecilia turned on her heel and stormed away, ignoring him when he called after her as she walked out of the tent into the maze of the queen’s garden. She breezed by exotic orchids, ivy walls, and rare tropical florals until she reached her favorite spot on a bench by the queen’s roses.
For once, she was actually trying to improve her chances of making a match, and yet she’d made a fool of herself already. Tears threatened, and she blinked her eyes, trying to force them back with deep breaths. A cool wind kicked up, rustling the trees and bushes in the garden, and clouds churned overhead.
Oh gods, not now, she begged. Please don’t let me conjure with my humiliation. That’s a step too far.
She’d already summoned a storm by accident during morning training. Twice in one day would be a record. Pulling back hard on her magic, she let out a growl of frustration as nothing changed.
Then, mercifully, the storm dissipated.
“Bad night?”
The deep, warm voice startled Cecilia.
“Just a bad moment, but I’d rather not have any company right now, hunter.” Cecilia blinked rapidly and kept her gaze straight ahead. A hunter seeing her in tears would only add to her humiliation.
“I could be anyone. What makes you think I’m a hunter?”
She still didn’t turn to look at him.
“Only a hunter would hide out in the queen’s garden during the party.”
“Is that so?” The hunter sat down on the bench behind her, but she still didn’t turn to look at him. If she’d met one hunter, she’d met them all, and they were a rakish lot.
“You walk like a hunter. No footfalls. Silent as death,” she said.
“Very impressive. And what should I call you?” he asked.
“Not for you.”
She smiled in response to his warm chuckle.
“If you were any good at your job, you’d know who I was. If you don’t know me, I’m definitely not interested in getting to know you because you won’t last long in your line of work,” she started.
The words were harsh but true. Hunters relied on sharp instincts and being well informed.
“And if you do know who I am, you must have a death wish because that would also mean you know who my father is.”
“I know who you are. I make it a point to know the most beautiful woman in the room, Cecilia Reznik.”
“If my father caught you talking to me out here, he’d—”
“Do no worse than you could if I got out of line,” he finished. “Your reputation precedes you, Lady Reznik. Plus, you have your dagger on you, correct?”
She heard the smile in his voice. She wanted to turn around and see it, but she enjoyed the mystery.
“How do you know about the dagger?” she asked.
“Lucky guess. You usually wear it. Can never be too careful with all these drunk hunters running around.”
Cecilia laughed and finally turned to look at him and met the same hazel eyes that had held hers throughout their dance. “You,” she breathed. “I’m not here for what you suggested.”
Just voicing the words aloud seemed to heat the air between them. Desire buzzed around both of them like the crackle before a storm, and she couldn’t tell who was generating the feeling.
The corner of the hunter’s lips twitched. “Oh?”
Cecilia searched frantically for anything to take the heat out of the moment. It was not appropriate for her to be alone in the queen’s garden with any man, but especially not a hunter.
“Endros,” she stammered with a breathless laugh. “Of course your mask is for the god of war.”
It was a bold choice. Endros and his son Cato, the god of manipulation and influence, were the last of the living gods who still inhabited their realm. Although they’d been involved in the kingdom’s creation, they’d sided with Argaria in the War of the Gods, and almost no one in Olney had the guts to honor them at the Godsball. Still, it was an appropriate choice for a pompous hunter looking to make a statement.
“Who else would I be?” he asked, brushing his hand down his fine scarlet tunic.
“I don’t know. You seemed plenty prepared to flirt. Perhaps you should have gone with Desiree, like so many ladies of the court.”
The hunter grinned. “Would you prefer to think of me as more of a lover than a fighter, Cece?”
He spoke her name like it was a dirty word. She was glad for the darkness to hide her heated cheeks.
“I’d prefer not to think of you at all.”
The hunter was unfazed. “What brought you out here in such a huff if not to find out if our bodies move together just as perfectly in the dark?”
Cecilia blushed, feeling foolish for even considering pouring her heart out to a stranger.
“Is it your guardian, who enjoys toying with you so much?”
“Rainer does not toy with me.” Yes, he does.
“Looked like he did in there. Just one dance and you went from glowing to crying.”
Cecilia bristled. “Don’t you have better things to do than watch me all night?”
“It was impossible to keep my eyes off you while we were dancing. If you’re looking for advice—”
“I’m not.”
“So that’s why you’re still talking to me?”
“I’m not,” Cecilia huffed. “I just wanted some air. You’re the one driving this conversation, and apparently, watching me all the time.”
“I only watch you enough to know how much you like these roses. You come here when you’re upset. Why is that?”
Cecilia pressed her palms to her eyes. Over the years, her father had assigned several hunters to monitor her, and he must have been the latest. She kicked herself for not noticing sooner.
She flushed. “You sure ask a lot of invasive questions. What’s your name, anyway?”
“Cece!” Sylvie called, drawing Cecilia’s attention to the garden trail.
When she turned back, the hunter was gone. She wondered if she’d imagined him. In his place was a lemon cake atop a cloth napkin with a tiny, folded paper bird that read: Didn’t want you to miss dessert.
She had no clue when he’d found a moment to steal her dessert or write a note, but she was charmed. Cecilia fought a grin as her gaze darted around the periphery for the hunter, who had clearly been watching her enough to know her favorite dessert. She tucked the note into her dress.
“Cece, what are you doing out here alone? It’s not safe,” Sylvie said as she sat down beside her on the bench.
“Just trying to cool down.” Cecilia sighed, giving up her search for the hunter.
Sylvie took Cecilia’s hand. “What did Rain do now? I saw him jerking you around the dance floor.”
“He’s infuriating. It’s like he has a sense for when I’m even the least bit distracted by someone else, and he has to ruin it.”
“He’s jealous.” Sylvie sighed. “You two constantly circle each other. You get close, he runs away. It’s like the world’s most exhausting game of tag.”
Cecilia shook her head. “That’s ridiculous. If he cared for me the same way, he wouldn’t tell me about all of his conquests.”
“I love you. Normally you are so wise, but Rainer is your blind spot. He only tells you about other girls to keep you at a distance, because if he doesn’t, he’s going to just keep getting closer and closer until the two of you finally lose it and give in to what you both so obviously feel.”
Cecilia shook her head, but Sylvie pressed on.
“He sleeps in your bed every night. He wouldn’t be there if he didn’t have feelings for you. Cal is my guardian and best friend, but you won’t find him cuddling with me. It’s not a job requirement. Rainer’s obsessed with his duty now, but what happens when you finish the Gauntlet? In theory, he’s no longer sworn to you except in battle. Would it really be out of the question for you two to be together?”
Sylvie sounded so certain. Cecilia had avoided thinking too much about what came next, mostly because this portion of the Gauntlet was so dangerous that it felt like tempting fate to make future plans. Although Rainer slept in her bed every night, he did nothing other than tell bedtime stories and leave before dawn so no one would know he’d been there.
“I don’t think that’s it, and even if he felt that way, he’s such a stickler for the rules,” Cecilia said, picking at a loose thread on her hem.
“My dear friend, love makes fools of the best of us. Sometimes I wonder how much you know your own heart.”
“Can you ever really know your own heart?”
Sylvie sighed. “I don’t think you give yourself enough credit. Your heart is your true north, always. Follow it and see where it leads. It might be somewhere surprising. Now, do you want to go home, or do you want to go back inside and dance with a very long line of guardians who saw that extremely sensual Reldan you did with the hunter and are dying to dance with the loveliest Goddess Sayla at the party?”
Cecilia laughed and stood, lacing her arm through Sylvie’s as she made her way back inside. Rainer might have spoiled one dance, but she refused to give him the satisfaction of ruining her entire night. She’d promised her father she’d see what was out there, and she was a woman of her word.
4
The Olney City Center Amphitheater was alive with whispers and bustling bodies rushing to their seats. Torches burned bright along the perimeter, illuminating rows of seats cascading down the hillside toward the stage as night two of the Olney summer solstice festival kicked off with a performance of The Gauntlet’s Creation.
Normally Cecilia looked forward to seeing her favorite childhood story performed on stage, but the heat, and the constant attention and Rainer’s lateness wore on her. She shifted in her seat, patting down the puff of organza flowers on her one-shoulder gown. She kept catching glimpses of them out of the corner of her eye, evoking the memory of the hunter from the previous night sneaking up on her.
