The Lost God, page 23
She let him fasten the Unsummoner bracelet to her wrist, and her connection to magic fizzled out. Even when she wasn’t actually summoning, she could always feel her power there, but now it was as if the flame that always burned in her chest had gone dark. She fumbled with the silver band self-consciously.
“Your weapons have all been removed for your safety and for the rest of ours, and you’ll be flanked by hunters who will shoot to maim and not kill you. There’s no way out of this right now, so please save us the trouble.”
She climbed onto Biscuit with Xander, leaning away from him as they rode.
“Cece?” Xander’s voice was agonized.
“Don’t,” she said firmly. “I feel like such a fool, like the silly girls at court that I always thought myself above. Now I am just another stupid girl who believed a man who said she was pretty. Gods! I was so careless. You literally told me you wanted to be a prince the first time we spoke. You came into the cave! I hit you with lightning back when we were in that battle in the woods. I should have known so many times.” She shook her head. “You preyed on my loneliness. How ruthless of you to use love as manipulation. I bet you’ll be laughing it up to your friends about how you charmed me into bed.”
Cecilia didn’t want him or anyone else to know how much it hurt. The grief felt like a well with no bottom. She didn’t want him to have the satisfaction of knowing how broken her heart was. He’d been so convincing when they were together. Would he be able to hear the moment her heart broke and ceased to beat, all because of him?
Her chest was too tight to take a deep breath.
Xander’s voice was rough. “That’s not true, Cece.”
“I trusted you. I let you—” She couldn’t say it. It was too much to think about how vulnerable she’d been.
Xander clung to her desperately. “Everything between us was true. I love you!”
“That isn’t love, Alex,” she rasped.
“Don’t call me that.”
“Sorry, Your Highness.”
“Cece, I fell in love with you. Everything I said was true except my name and title. I swear it. I know you don’t believe me, but the idea that you could think that everything between us was a lie breaks my heart. You are the most stubborn, brave, clever woman I’ve ever met. You changed everything. It was impossible not to fall for you. I would have given up everything in my life for you. I should have told you the whole truth, but never doubt my love.”
“There is nothing between us but ruin,” she huffed.
She didn’t want to believe him, but the words put chinks in the armor she was trying to fasten around her heart. She felt like she was a breath from falling apart.
A startling revelation crashed down on her. She’d completed the Gauntlet, and they could be taking her to a slayer to steal the Gauntlet magic for Argaria. But that didn’t explain why Davide called her his fiancée. She was missing something.
“How long have you been planning this?” she asked.
“For about a year—ever since your father asked me to keep an eye on you,” Xander whispered.
“Have you really been in Olney since you were fourteen?”
“Yes, Cece. Almost everything I told you was true except my real identity. My family life, my feelings, my time in Olney.”
She tried to take a deep breath, but her chest locked up, unable to process his words with her world imploding. She wished Xander’s betrayal would annihilate her love for him, but her iron will was nothing compared to the fierceness with which she loved. Why was it that she could summon love so strong every time he smiled at her but not hatred when he deceived her so completely? Her heart rebelled against her will—two immovable parts of her grinding futilely against each other.
Xander pulled her closer. “Cece, I can help. I can soothe you like I did the night we met. You’ll just go to sleep. I don’t want you to hurt like this.” He cupped her face with a hand.
“It’s magic?” she asked.
“Yes,” he whispered. “My grandmother taught me. It’s a soothing spell. Say you want it, and I will put you to sleep. You can avoid talking to my brother until morning. I will keep you safe.”
It felt cowardly, but she couldn’t deal with the yawning chasm of despair opening inside her. She was worried that it might kill her and then more worried that she might want it to put her out of her profound misery. She needed to feel nothing.
“Do it,” she whispered.
Her eyelids grew heavy as he murmured the words of the spell. His thumb rubbed along her jaw, calming her. She relaxed into his body, and his arms wrapped tight around her.
For a second before she fell asleep, the bitterness of betrayal grew faint, and she felt safe.
20
“My love, wake up.” Xander’s voice dragged Cecilia from a heavy, dreamless sleep.
She brushed her hands down the soft silk of her nightgown, keeping her eyes closed. For one blissful moment, she wanted to roll over and snuggle, but then she remembered the day before.
“I’m not your love,” she snapped.
“You will always be my love.” Xander said the words with a reverence that made her traitorous heart skip.
She hoped he hadn’t heard it. She opened her eyes for the express purpose of rolling them.
“Where’s Rainer?”
The words cooled all the heat on Xander’s face to icy jealousy.
Xander crossed his arms, his words clipped. “He’s fine. I’ll take you to see him when I can.”
Afraid to trust him, she brought her hand to her heart and tugged on her bond with Rainer. When a tug echoed back from him a moment later, she sagged in relief.
Cecilia turned her attention back to Xander, trying to ignore how annoyingly handsome he looked freshly groomed in his fine scarlet tunic and leather breeches. She grabbed a heavy fur robe that he’d laid across the bed, pulling it on to ward off the chill. She took in the luxurious bedroom fit for a princess with fine golden candlesticks, elaborately woven tapestries of the Argus Mountains, and bright scarlet curtains. There were no weapons, not that she expected them to let her be armed. She’d have to improvise.
“What do you want, Your Highness?”
“Don’t call me that.”
“Would you prefer I call you Prince Alexander or Alex?”
“I’d prefer you call me Xander.” He sighed, reaching to touch her cheek.
Cecilia slapped his hand away. “Where am I, and what’s happening, Your Grace?”
She stood and strode across the room to put space between them, crossing her arms as if they could protect her heart from further wounding.
Xander appraised her with amusement. “I know you’re trying to push me away, but, gods, you’re so pretty when you’re angry. Your eyes sparkle and your cheeks flush, and you look just like you do after I make you—”
“Shut up!” She threw a candlestick that sailed past his head. She knew he would read something into her inaccuracy, so she threw another. He caught it and carefully placed it on the table next to him.
“Love, just because you don’t like it doesn’t make it untrue.”
She couldn’t resist smiling at him. For a moment, she could almost forget that he’d betrayed her. He was back to being the charming hunter who kissed her in the woods.
Focus, Cece, she scolded. Cecilia knew she had to use him. If Xander’s feelings were real, she could use them to her advantage.
“True, like a fairy tale, Xander. Like a lovely dream that disappears as soon as you wake up and realize how fucked you are!” she screamed, throwing another candlestick. It barely skimmed his shoulder before it clattered onto the floor.
The bedroom door burst open, and two men stumbled in.
Xander shook his head at them. “I’m fine. Cece is a bit upset.”
“A bit?” She chucked another candlestick.
Xander ducked, and it sailed over his head.
“She’s got good aim.” The blond hunter chuckled. “Honestly, I never liked those candlesticks, anyway.”
“Good point. I suppose she has a right to redecorate her rooms if she chooses,” Xander said, grinning at the hunter before turning his attention back to Cecilia. “Love, if you break them all, it’s going to be awfully dark in here tonight.”
She barked out a scornful laugh. “Oh, suddenly you care if I’m in the dark?”
With nothing else in range, she grabbed a heavy book from the table and chucked it at the three of them.
Xander ducked away before holding up his hands in surrender. “Goddess, really? A book of scripture.”
“Anything is a weapon if you throw it hard enough,” she huffed.
The dark-haired hunter behind him sighed, shaking his head. “She is assaulting the prince of Argaria. Are we really supposed to let this slide?”
“Who are you?” she asked.
The dark-haired one spoke again. “Evan Farlan, my lady. The prince’s guard and the one who should probably arrest you for trying to kill him with your tantrum.”
Cecilia narrowed her eyes at him. “I assure you that my tantrums would bring this fucking castle down if your cowardly princes didn’t collar me with this stupid bracelet,” she barked, holding up her wrist. “And as for His Highness, I suggest you leave him to his own mess.”
“She’s tinier than I expected,” the blond hunter said. “Quite a lot of fire in a little package.”
Xander’s grin grew wide. “She is that, Ted.”
Cecilia looked back and forth between the two hunters. “You’re his best friends. Evan and Teddy. He told me about you, though I’m not sure whether to believe what he said, talented liar he is.”
They both nodded. Xander had been telling the truth at least a little bit.
“Does he also lie to you?”
Teddy shook his head, but Evan cocked his head and shrugged. “Mostly he lies to himself.”
Cecilia scoffed. “I can think of a few lies he likes to tell himself. His cockiness is insufferable.”
“You like my brand of suffering, love,” Xander quipped.
“I like it a lot less today.” She hated that the heated look in his eyes still sent a thrill through her.
“Leave us,” Xander said, as if reading her mind.
Evan gripped Xander’s arm. “You can’t be serious.”
“My fiancée is understandably upset—”
“Fiancée!” Cecilia barked. “I wouldn’t marry you if you were the last traitor on earth.”
The two men looked from Cecilia to Xander skeptically.
Xander sighed. “Do you really think I can’t handle her?”
Evan stared Xander down. “I don’t doubt you, but she’s—”
Xander shook his head, cutting off whatever his friend was about to say.
“Just remember, your brother will probably be here soon. For the record, this is a terrible idea, and it’s going to end poorly,” Evan grumbled, turning to leave.
“You can be the first to tell me I told you so, though I don’t think it will be this morning,” Xander said with a grin.
The two hunters left, closing the door behind them as Xander turned his heated gaze on her. “My love, I know that look in your eyes.”
“Hatred? I expect you see it often if this is how you reward trust.”
“I think you’ll find there’s a very fine line between hate and love. Both are born of passion,” Xander said, taking a step closer.
Cecilia turned away, pacing the room like a caged animal. The heat of the fire and the robe were too much. She tossed the heavy garment onto a chair and continued her pacing.
“Cece, what are you wearing?” Xander asked.
His eyes scanned down her body. She’d forgotten about the flimsy red nightdress she’d slipped into half-awake the night before. She didn’t even understand the purpose. It was silk and lace, and the straps were so tiny she was afraid she’d rip them just by walking. She realized the way she was standing backlit by the window likely made the entire dress sheer.
“Don’t look at me like that.”
His grin turned coy. “Like what?”
“Like exactly how you’re looking at me. You have dirty in your eyes, and I am not interested.” She resumed her pacing.
When she looked back at him, he’d silently closed the distance between them.
“Don’t, Xander—”
He reached for her. Cecilia ducked him and spun back toward the bed, but he was quick. He swept her up, his hands wrapped around her thighs, lifting her up, and he slammed her back into the wall. He laughed when he realized she had his dagger pressed to his throat.
“Well, this is familiar.” Xander laughed. “And very hot.”
“There is something seriously wrong with you,” she said.
“Probably.” He laughed. “Drop the dagger.”
Cecilia couldn’t ignore the way her blood heated at his touch. She grasped desperately for the anger she’d woken with, but her body seemed eager to betray her.
“I loathe you.” She pressed it against his skin, drawing a few drops of blood.
He smirked, and he pressed closer. She tensed as blood trickled from a shallow cut, but she didn’t move the blade. She bit her bottom lip, and his eyes dropped to her mouth.
“Goddess, don’t play games with me right now. I want you. Badly. Let me have you.”
“Not until you apologize.” She shifted the dagger slightly but didn’t pull it back when he winced. She should have plunged it into his throat and ended the ordeal, but her body seemed at odds with that desire.
He laughed. “Gods, you are so stubborn and sexy.”
“You’re disturbed.”
“Maybe, but I’m also very aroused.” He pressed his hips into her to prove it.
“Apologize.” She tried to hold her ground, but the way he looked at her made her hot all over.
Finally, he relented. “Cece, I am sorry that I hurt you. More sorry than I could ever put into words, but I could make you feel it if you let me.”
Cecilia’s eyes went wide. “You wouldn’t dare.”
Xander smirked. “Wouldn’t I? You’re certainly squirming against me like you need something.”
Cecilia froze. She had been subtly grinding herself against him. Desire was a reflex with Xander.
He leaned toward her, allowing the dagger to cut him deeper. “You’re beautiful and charming, and I love you very much.”
She softened, and he struck as quick as lightning. One hand came off her thigh and knocked the blade away. She cursed. He pressed his hips into her, pinning her to the wall harder. The movement sent a surge of heat through her body. She kept expecting to reach some final edge—the edge of the world of wanting—but each time she encountered an obstacle, a new bridge was built, and the desire renewed, no matter how foolish it might be.
“First of all, Cece, I know you could get out of this if you wanted to.” His gaze dipped to the neckline of her nightgown.
“Perhaps I don’t want to be thrown in a jail cell for assaulting the prince of Argaria,” she quipped.
He laughed and rolled his hips against her. She gasped. Her desire to scream at him was being replaced by a different desire altogether.
“I don’t think that’s the reason, love.” He leaned down and kissed her neck, and she jumped. “You’re wound tighter than a bowstring. You need to relax.”
“Tell me to relax again and I’ll risk being thrown in that cell,” she huffed, giving his shoulders a futile push.
“I’m not telling you to relax. I’m going to help you relax.” His lips grazed her ear as he spoke. He pulled back, and his eyes were smoldering.
“But I’m furious with you,” she rasped.
“I know. I’m frustrated with you as well.”
Cecilia frowned at him. “What? Why?”
“For yelling at me and teasing me with this skimpy little nightgown that makes it impossible to think, let alone argue with you.”
He bent his head low and caught one of her nipples through the fabric. He flicked his tongue over it. She gasped in surprise.
“But do you know what’s great about this? We can work through all of our aggression, and maybe you will finally relax,” Xander murmured.
He moved his hips against her again, and she stifled a groan.
“I can tell by the way you’ve let me hold you here that you’re at least curious. If you say yes, I will make you a very happy woman instead of a very grumpy one.”
She wanted to slap him, but she restrained herself.
“Just say yes, Goddess. Please. At this moment, I’d give my kingdom to be inside you.”
Xander’s words unraveled her resolve.
“Yes,” she whispered.
He freed himself from his pants, hiked her nightgown higher, and then quickly thrust into her. She gasped as the momentary discomfort shifted to pleasure.
The fullness was so different with this new angle, and it felt amazing. She squeezed her legs around his waist as he drove her against the wall again, catching her in a rough kiss. He picked up his pace, moving harder and faster. She bit his bottom lip so hard she tasted blood, but he didn’t seem the least bit bothered by her roughness as he yanked her hair and kissed down her jaw and neck.
The cold stone of the wall bit into her low back, but she didn’t care. She was entirely focused on every movement he made. She tried to keep quiet, but it was all too much—her anger, the look in his eye, the way he drove into her. A crackling, static sensation surged through her veins as she scraped her fingers over his scalp and yanked on his short hair.
The pain only spurred Xander on. Cecilia clung to him, pushing down against him. There was no reason anymore. She was driving toward something she didn’t totally understand but needed badly.
They were wrapped up in the frenzy of it. She was right on the edge of letting go, so he pushed hard against her with three quick thrusts, and she smothered her cry against his neck, bearing down on him. Lightning pleasure whipped through her, shattering her into a thousand little sparks. As soon as it crashed over her, it built again with more intensity than anything else she’d felt before.
He kept up his frantic pace, his fingers bruising her hips, his kisses rougher. Pleasure tipped the scales, and she had the distinct feeling of losing ground to him.
“Your weapons have all been removed for your safety and for the rest of ours, and you’ll be flanked by hunters who will shoot to maim and not kill you. There’s no way out of this right now, so please save us the trouble.”
She climbed onto Biscuit with Xander, leaning away from him as they rode.
“Cece?” Xander’s voice was agonized.
“Don’t,” she said firmly. “I feel like such a fool, like the silly girls at court that I always thought myself above. Now I am just another stupid girl who believed a man who said she was pretty. Gods! I was so careless. You literally told me you wanted to be a prince the first time we spoke. You came into the cave! I hit you with lightning back when we were in that battle in the woods. I should have known so many times.” She shook her head. “You preyed on my loneliness. How ruthless of you to use love as manipulation. I bet you’ll be laughing it up to your friends about how you charmed me into bed.”
Cecilia didn’t want him or anyone else to know how much it hurt. The grief felt like a well with no bottom. She didn’t want him to have the satisfaction of knowing how broken her heart was. He’d been so convincing when they were together. Would he be able to hear the moment her heart broke and ceased to beat, all because of him?
Her chest was too tight to take a deep breath.
Xander’s voice was rough. “That’s not true, Cece.”
“I trusted you. I let you—” She couldn’t say it. It was too much to think about how vulnerable she’d been.
Xander clung to her desperately. “Everything between us was true. I love you!”
“That isn’t love, Alex,” she rasped.
“Don’t call me that.”
“Sorry, Your Highness.”
“Cece, I fell in love with you. Everything I said was true except my name and title. I swear it. I know you don’t believe me, but the idea that you could think that everything between us was a lie breaks my heart. You are the most stubborn, brave, clever woman I’ve ever met. You changed everything. It was impossible not to fall for you. I would have given up everything in my life for you. I should have told you the whole truth, but never doubt my love.”
“There is nothing between us but ruin,” she huffed.
She didn’t want to believe him, but the words put chinks in the armor she was trying to fasten around her heart. She felt like she was a breath from falling apart.
A startling revelation crashed down on her. She’d completed the Gauntlet, and they could be taking her to a slayer to steal the Gauntlet magic for Argaria. But that didn’t explain why Davide called her his fiancée. She was missing something.
“How long have you been planning this?” she asked.
“For about a year—ever since your father asked me to keep an eye on you,” Xander whispered.
“Have you really been in Olney since you were fourteen?”
“Yes, Cece. Almost everything I told you was true except my real identity. My family life, my feelings, my time in Olney.”
She tried to take a deep breath, but her chest locked up, unable to process his words with her world imploding. She wished Xander’s betrayal would annihilate her love for him, but her iron will was nothing compared to the fierceness with which she loved. Why was it that she could summon love so strong every time he smiled at her but not hatred when he deceived her so completely? Her heart rebelled against her will—two immovable parts of her grinding futilely against each other.
Xander pulled her closer. “Cece, I can help. I can soothe you like I did the night we met. You’ll just go to sleep. I don’t want you to hurt like this.” He cupped her face with a hand.
“It’s magic?” she asked.
“Yes,” he whispered. “My grandmother taught me. It’s a soothing spell. Say you want it, and I will put you to sleep. You can avoid talking to my brother until morning. I will keep you safe.”
It felt cowardly, but she couldn’t deal with the yawning chasm of despair opening inside her. She was worried that it might kill her and then more worried that she might want it to put her out of her profound misery. She needed to feel nothing.
“Do it,” she whispered.
Her eyelids grew heavy as he murmured the words of the spell. His thumb rubbed along her jaw, calming her. She relaxed into his body, and his arms wrapped tight around her.
For a second before she fell asleep, the bitterness of betrayal grew faint, and she felt safe.
20
“My love, wake up.” Xander’s voice dragged Cecilia from a heavy, dreamless sleep.
She brushed her hands down the soft silk of her nightgown, keeping her eyes closed. For one blissful moment, she wanted to roll over and snuggle, but then she remembered the day before.
“I’m not your love,” she snapped.
“You will always be my love.” Xander said the words with a reverence that made her traitorous heart skip.
She hoped he hadn’t heard it. She opened her eyes for the express purpose of rolling them.
“Where’s Rainer?”
The words cooled all the heat on Xander’s face to icy jealousy.
Xander crossed his arms, his words clipped. “He’s fine. I’ll take you to see him when I can.”
Afraid to trust him, she brought her hand to her heart and tugged on her bond with Rainer. When a tug echoed back from him a moment later, she sagged in relief.
Cecilia turned her attention back to Xander, trying to ignore how annoyingly handsome he looked freshly groomed in his fine scarlet tunic and leather breeches. She grabbed a heavy fur robe that he’d laid across the bed, pulling it on to ward off the chill. She took in the luxurious bedroom fit for a princess with fine golden candlesticks, elaborately woven tapestries of the Argus Mountains, and bright scarlet curtains. There were no weapons, not that she expected them to let her be armed. She’d have to improvise.
“What do you want, Your Highness?”
“Don’t call me that.”
“Would you prefer I call you Prince Alexander or Alex?”
“I’d prefer you call me Xander.” He sighed, reaching to touch her cheek.
Cecilia slapped his hand away. “Where am I, and what’s happening, Your Grace?”
She stood and strode across the room to put space between them, crossing her arms as if they could protect her heart from further wounding.
Xander appraised her with amusement. “I know you’re trying to push me away, but, gods, you’re so pretty when you’re angry. Your eyes sparkle and your cheeks flush, and you look just like you do after I make you—”
“Shut up!” She threw a candlestick that sailed past his head. She knew he would read something into her inaccuracy, so she threw another. He caught it and carefully placed it on the table next to him.
“Love, just because you don’t like it doesn’t make it untrue.”
She couldn’t resist smiling at him. For a moment, she could almost forget that he’d betrayed her. He was back to being the charming hunter who kissed her in the woods.
Focus, Cece, she scolded. Cecilia knew she had to use him. If Xander’s feelings were real, she could use them to her advantage.
“True, like a fairy tale, Xander. Like a lovely dream that disappears as soon as you wake up and realize how fucked you are!” she screamed, throwing another candlestick. It barely skimmed his shoulder before it clattered onto the floor.
The bedroom door burst open, and two men stumbled in.
Xander shook his head at them. “I’m fine. Cece is a bit upset.”
“A bit?” She chucked another candlestick.
Xander ducked, and it sailed over his head.
“She’s got good aim.” The blond hunter chuckled. “Honestly, I never liked those candlesticks, anyway.”
“Good point. I suppose she has a right to redecorate her rooms if she chooses,” Xander said, grinning at the hunter before turning his attention back to Cecilia. “Love, if you break them all, it’s going to be awfully dark in here tonight.”
She barked out a scornful laugh. “Oh, suddenly you care if I’m in the dark?”
With nothing else in range, she grabbed a heavy book from the table and chucked it at the three of them.
Xander ducked away before holding up his hands in surrender. “Goddess, really? A book of scripture.”
“Anything is a weapon if you throw it hard enough,” she huffed.
The dark-haired hunter behind him sighed, shaking his head. “She is assaulting the prince of Argaria. Are we really supposed to let this slide?”
“Who are you?” she asked.
The dark-haired one spoke again. “Evan Farlan, my lady. The prince’s guard and the one who should probably arrest you for trying to kill him with your tantrum.”
Cecilia narrowed her eyes at him. “I assure you that my tantrums would bring this fucking castle down if your cowardly princes didn’t collar me with this stupid bracelet,” she barked, holding up her wrist. “And as for His Highness, I suggest you leave him to his own mess.”
“She’s tinier than I expected,” the blond hunter said. “Quite a lot of fire in a little package.”
Xander’s grin grew wide. “She is that, Ted.”
Cecilia looked back and forth between the two hunters. “You’re his best friends. Evan and Teddy. He told me about you, though I’m not sure whether to believe what he said, talented liar he is.”
They both nodded. Xander had been telling the truth at least a little bit.
“Does he also lie to you?”
Teddy shook his head, but Evan cocked his head and shrugged. “Mostly he lies to himself.”
Cecilia scoffed. “I can think of a few lies he likes to tell himself. His cockiness is insufferable.”
“You like my brand of suffering, love,” Xander quipped.
“I like it a lot less today.” She hated that the heated look in his eyes still sent a thrill through her.
“Leave us,” Xander said, as if reading her mind.
Evan gripped Xander’s arm. “You can’t be serious.”
“My fiancée is understandably upset—”
“Fiancée!” Cecilia barked. “I wouldn’t marry you if you were the last traitor on earth.”
The two men looked from Cecilia to Xander skeptically.
Xander sighed. “Do you really think I can’t handle her?”
Evan stared Xander down. “I don’t doubt you, but she’s—”
Xander shook his head, cutting off whatever his friend was about to say.
“Just remember, your brother will probably be here soon. For the record, this is a terrible idea, and it’s going to end poorly,” Evan grumbled, turning to leave.
“You can be the first to tell me I told you so, though I don’t think it will be this morning,” Xander said with a grin.
The two hunters left, closing the door behind them as Xander turned his heated gaze on her. “My love, I know that look in your eyes.”
“Hatred? I expect you see it often if this is how you reward trust.”
“I think you’ll find there’s a very fine line between hate and love. Both are born of passion,” Xander said, taking a step closer.
Cecilia turned away, pacing the room like a caged animal. The heat of the fire and the robe were too much. She tossed the heavy garment onto a chair and continued her pacing.
“Cece, what are you wearing?” Xander asked.
His eyes scanned down her body. She’d forgotten about the flimsy red nightdress she’d slipped into half-awake the night before. She didn’t even understand the purpose. It was silk and lace, and the straps were so tiny she was afraid she’d rip them just by walking. She realized the way she was standing backlit by the window likely made the entire dress sheer.
“Don’t look at me like that.”
His grin turned coy. “Like what?”
“Like exactly how you’re looking at me. You have dirty in your eyes, and I am not interested.” She resumed her pacing.
When she looked back at him, he’d silently closed the distance between them.
“Don’t, Xander—”
He reached for her. Cecilia ducked him and spun back toward the bed, but he was quick. He swept her up, his hands wrapped around her thighs, lifting her up, and he slammed her back into the wall. He laughed when he realized she had his dagger pressed to his throat.
“Well, this is familiar.” Xander laughed. “And very hot.”
“There is something seriously wrong with you,” she said.
“Probably.” He laughed. “Drop the dagger.”
Cecilia couldn’t ignore the way her blood heated at his touch. She grasped desperately for the anger she’d woken with, but her body seemed eager to betray her.
“I loathe you.” She pressed it against his skin, drawing a few drops of blood.
He smirked, and he pressed closer. She tensed as blood trickled from a shallow cut, but she didn’t move the blade. She bit her bottom lip, and his eyes dropped to her mouth.
“Goddess, don’t play games with me right now. I want you. Badly. Let me have you.”
“Not until you apologize.” She shifted the dagger slightly but didn’t pull it back when he winced. She should have plunged it into his throat and ended the ordeal, but her body seemed at odds with that desire.
He laughed. “Gods, you are so stubborn and sexy.”
“You’re disturbed.”
“Maybe, but I’m also very aroused.” He pressed his hips into her to prove it.
“Apologize.” She tried to hold her ground, but the way he looked at her made her hot all over.
Finally, he relented. “Cece, I am sorry that I hurt you. More sorry than I could ever put into words, but I could make you feel it if you let me.”
Cecilia’s eyes went wide. “You wouldn’t dare.”
Xander smirked. “Wouldn’t I? You’re certainly squirming against me like you need something.”
Cecilia froze. She had been subtly grinding herself against him. Desire was a reflex with Xander.
He leaned toward her, allowing the dagger to cut him deeper. “You’re beautiful and charming, and I love you very much.”
She softened, and he struck as quick as lightning. One hand came off her thigh and knocked the blade away. She cursed. He pressed his hips into her, pinning her to the wall harder. The movement sent a surge of heat through her body. She kept expecting to reach some final edge—the edge of the world of wanting—but each time she encountered an obstacle, a new bridge was built, and the desire renewed, no matter how foolish it might be.
“First of all, Cece, I know you could get out of this if you wanted to.” His gaze dipped to the neckline of her nightgown.
“Perhaps I don’t want to be thrown in a jail cell for assaulting the prince of Argaria,” she quipped.
He laughed and rolled his hips against her. She gasped. Her desire to scream at him was being replaced by a different desire altogether.
“I don’t think that’s the reason, love.” He leaned down and kissed her neck, and she jumped. “You’re wound tighter than a bowstring. You need to relax.”
“Tell me to relax again and I’ll risk being thrown in that cell,” she huffed, giving his shoulders a futile push.
“I’m not telling you to relax. I’m going to help you relax.” His lips grazed her ear as he spoke. He pulled back, and his eyes were smoldering.
“But I’m furious with you,” she rasped.
“I know. I’m frustrated with you as well.”
Cecilia frowned at him. “What? Why?”
“For yelling at me and teasing me with this skimpy little nightgown that makes it impossible to think, let alone argue with you.”
He bent his head low and caught one of her nipples through the fabric. He flicked his tongue over it. She gasped in surprise.
“But do you know what’s great about this? We can work through all of our aggression, and maybe you will finally relax,” Xander murmured.
He moved his hips against her again, and she stifled a groan.
“I can tell by the way you’ve let me hold you here that you’re at least curious. If you say yes, I will make you a very happy woman instead of a very grumpy one.”
She wanted to slap him, but she restrained herself.
“Just say yes, Goddess. Please. At this moment, I’d give my kingdom to be inside you.”
Xander’s words unraveled her resolve.
“Yes,” she whispered.
He freed himself from his pants, hiked her nightgown higher, and then quickly thrust into her. She gasped as the momentary discomfort shifted to pleasure.
The fullness was so different with this new angle, and it felt amazing. She squeezed her legs around his waist as he drove her against the wall again, catching her in a rough kiss. He picked up his pace, moving harder and faster. She bit his bottom lip so hard she tasted blood, but he didn’t seem the least bit bothered by her roughness as he yanked her hair and kissed down her jaw and neck.
The cold stone of the wall bit into her low back, but she didn’t care. She was entirely focused on every movement he made. She tried to keep quiet, but it was all too much—her anger, the look in his eye, the way he drove into her. A crackling, static sensation surged through her veins as she scraped her fingers over his scalp and yanked on his short hair.
The pain only spurred Xander on. Cecilia clung to him, pushing down against him. There was no reason anymore. She was driving toward something she didn’t totally understand but needed badly.
They were wrapped up in the frenzy of it. She was right on the edge of letting go, so he pushed hard against her with three quick thrusts, and she smothered her cry against his neck, bearing down on him. Lightning pleasure whipped through her, shattering her into a thousand little sparks. As soon as it crashed over her, it built again with more intensity than anything else she’d felt before.
He kept up his frantic pace, his fingers bruising her hips, his kisses rougher. Pleasure tipped the scales, and she had the distinct feeling of losing ground to him.
