The Lost God, page 34
“Incoming!” Evan yelled from the front.
They slowed. Over the horizon came a group of five hunters. Cecilia was ready. She fired off a shot, hitting the closest one in the eye. Xander matched her shot with another hunter, who went down quickly. Arrows arced through the air, and they all ducked. She came back up shooting, quickly taking out two more hunters. Evan killed the last one.
“You’re an excellent shot, Princess. Xander understated your talent,” Evan said.
“He’s just jealous.” Cecilia laughed.
“I have always asserted that my wife is a woman of many, many talents,” Xander said, winking at her.
Heat rushed to her cheeks, and Evan rolled his eyes.
“Wait!” Cecilia shouted. “We should take their sweaters. They think they are looking for the prince and the princess and a couple of hunters, but we could disguise ourselves as Argarian hunters and blend in.”
“I don’t know if that would work,” Rainer said skeptically.
“Think about it. Xander isn’t at court often. Very few people know what he or I look like. Only the lords and ladies and a handful of hunters have been at the events this week,” she said.
“It’s not a bad idea, at least while we are this deep in Argaria,” Evan said as he and Xander hopped down, pulling the sweaters off of the fallen hunters and tossing one up to each of them.
Cecilia stored her fancy cloak and rolled up the sleeves on the much-too-big sweater as she met her husband’s eye.
“What?” she asked.
“I’d just forgotten for a moment how lovely you look in red,” Xander said.
She rolled her eyes. “Is this really the time to flirt? You’ve already won me over.”
“I told you before, I will always make time to flirt with you,” Xander quipped.
“Are you two going to be like this the whole trip?” Rainer asked morosely.
Xander shrugged. “What do you expect, McKay? This is our honeymoon.”
They rode for the rest of the day without incident. The few times they ran into hunters, their disguises held up, and no one really paid them any mind.
“There is a cabin coming up in the valley ahead where we can stay for the night,” Xander said.
“How do you know?” asked Rainer.
Cecilia’s cheeks heated, thinking about how Xander had made love to her on every surface in the place.
“We stayed there on the way to the Cave of Longings,” Xander said, grinning at Cecilia.
By the time they reached the front door, a light snow was falling. Cecilia was exhausted. She hopped down from her horse, and her legs nearly buckled beneath her as she stumbled to the door.
As soon as they were safe inside, Rainer got to work starting a fire. Evan and Teddy took an inventory of their supplies and supplemented them with some he found in the cabin. Xander summoned a storm to lay down fresh snow and cover their tracks.
When he finally came back inside, he pushed Cecilia against the wall, kissing her with a ferocity that stole her breath.
Evan cleared his throat, and Xander drew back, resting his cheek, still cool from the icy mountain air, against hers.
“Just wanted to make sure you remembered you aren’t alone,” Evan said.
“I promise I’d have given her a far more scandalous greeting if I’d forgotten you were here,” Xander said, tucking a kiss into Cecilia’s neck before reluctantly pulling away.
She caught his hand in hers, noticing dry blood caked on his palm. “What happened to your hand?”
Xander shrugged. “I think I cut it when I was removing equipment from one of the hunters as we were leaving Argaria. I didn’t have time to stop and check until now, though I’m sad to say, I ruined my favorite pair of gloves.”
He tossed the oxblood leather gloves onto the table. Cecilia fumbled through her bag until she found her aid kit and pulled out a needle and thread meant for stitches, before grabbing the damaged glove and sitting down to mend it.
“Love, I did not know you would be so domestic. Here I thought you hated needlework,” Xander said, his eyes lit with delight.
“I said I didn’t like needlepoint, learning to stitch has its practical uses.”
Xander sat down next to her and watched her work a line of even stitches in the thin leather until she’d mended it.
“There’s something wonderful about you taking care of me like this,” he whispered. “I know you like to be known for your sharp edges, my love, but don’t hate me for enjoying the softer side of you as well.” Xander brushed a kiss to her temple.
She languished in Xander’s attention, surprised at how comfortable she felt in the role of wife. For all of her apprehension, she’d yet to feel stifled or trapped by her marriage to Xander. Despite the somewhat strange and urgent circumstances, she felt at ease with him.
She took Xander’s hand. “Now let’s fix you.”
“But you can’t summon to heal me,” Xander argued.
“I’m not going to. You are.”
He appraised her skeptically.
“Xander, if you are a storm witch, it’s likely that you have the power to heal, too. Did you never learn?” she asked.
He shook his head.
“That’s okay. I can try to teach you. In Olney, it’s one of the first magics they teach witches, so it might take a couple tries, but you’ll get it. It’s not a serious wound, so you should be able to fix it easy enough.” She cradled Xander’s palm in hers, using alcohol and cotton to clean the wound. “So when you reach out to your storm magic, what do you feel?”
Excitement sparkled in Xander’s eyes. “It feels like a prickling lightning feeling.”
It was exciting to have a partner who understood how magic beat like a pulse through the body, how it felt both natural and otherworldly.
“For me, healing feels cool and tingly, like putting peppermint oil on the skin,” Cecilia said. “You want to reach out for your magic and go past your storm magic to something that feels like that. Then you focus on the wound and imagine it knitting back together.”
Xander’s brow furrowed in concentration as he stared down at the wound. After a moment, he squinted, tilting his hand in the light to search for progress. He frowned when he found none.
“It’s okay, try again,” she whispered.
He focused and took a deep breath, his eyes narrowing on the wound. The edges of the cut gradually drew in toward each other until only a faint pink mark remained. Xander’s eyes went wide in surprise.
“You did it! You’ll need to eat extra tonight to make up for using all that energy, but as you get more practiced, you will learn to be more efficient,” Cecilia said with a grin.
Xander swept her into a hug, spinning with her in his arms. “You are an excellent teacher, love.”
She leaned into him, savoring his warmth. It was minor magic, and it would take him a while to master more complex injuries, but she understood his sense of triumph. Magic was exhilarating, especially when it was new. She closed her eyes and leaned her head on Xander’s shoulder.
When she blinked her eyes open, she found Rainer watching intently. A crease formed in his brow, his mouth pinched in a grim line. She knew she shouldn’t feel guilty for being affectionate with her husband. Rainer had all but tossed her in Xander’s waiting arms. Still, she was hyperaware of how Rainer’s shoulders hiked up to his ears every time Xander touched her.
Anger bubbled in her veins. Rainer had literally married her to someone else. He had a chance to speak up. She practically begged him to, and instead, he helped Xander plan a surprise wedding, so he had no right to be angry.
Clearly he didn’t care what he had a right to, because as she pulled Xander into a kiss, a sharp spike of jealousy burst through their connection.
Cecilia drew back and rolled out her shoulders, as if she could shake off the guilt his reaction sparked. Her love for Rainer hadn’t faded, so she locked it away in a hidden chamber of her heart and prayed it would disappear.
Rainer’s gaze was a heavy weight on her shoulders as she moved around the cabin. She prayed Xander wouldn’t notice. If he did, he was good enough to not say anything.
Xander seemed better able to compartmentalize than she and Rainer. Despite the loss of his family and the overwhelming shift in circumstances, he seemed remarkably focused as they settled into the cabin.
Later, after they’d eaten, Xander excused himself and walked out into the night. Cecilia followed. He stood in the clearing, staring up at the sky. His breath came out in little white puffs, and for a moment, she stared at how handsome he was. She smiled when he turned to look at her.
“If you want to be alone—” she started.
“I always want your company.” He smiled.
She wrapped her arms around him from behind and slid her icy hands up the hem of his shirt.
“Can I put my hands here?” she whispered as he jumped.
“You can put your hands anywhere you like, love.”
They were quiet for a moment, and she pressed her ear against his back, listening to his heartbeat.
“I know it’s a silly question, but are you all right? You haven’t said a word about your parents,” she whispered.
“I don’t know. It doesn’t feel real. Maybe I should have seen it coming. I’ve always been outplayed by Davide, but I never thought he could do this. I’m disappointed in myself.”
Cecilia moved around him so that she could see his face.
“My father loved chess,” Xander started. “When we were young, he made us play all the time and not like a nice parent. He played to win and crushed us hundreds of times until we learned. I wanted to be good at it so badly. He loved it—said it was a king’s game. It’s all about strategy. Have you ever played?”
She nodded. Her father taught her when he was teaching her battle tactics from Siege and Strategy, a book on war games.
“Well, he made us play for hours. Sometimes against him or other elite players and then each other. Davide was always better, but I worked my ass off. I learned everything I could about the game, and I finally got to the point where I thought I could beat him. I was so close about ten times, and he would bait me and then crush me. It was demoralizing. All it did was remind me how ill-suited I am to rule, not that I wanted the responsibility. And the past few days have felt like that all over again. I feel like I’m twelve years old again, getting trounced by him. I might have always been the better soldier, but he’s always been the strategist. He is always one step ahead. It’s not just him. There’s also Endros, the centuries-old god of war, whose goals seem to align with his. That’s what truly terrifies me.”
The pain in Xander’s eyes broke Cecilia’s heart. In one violent action, he’d lost both his parents and his brother. She threw her arms around him, and he picked her up into a hug. She held tight as he tucked his face into her neck. He stood there, crushing her body against his.
“I’m so sorry. I was very set on not liking your mother, but she was so kind it was impossible not to,” she whispered.
“I suspect she was surprised how much she liked you as well,” he said, leaning his forehead against hers.
“Is there anything I can do?” she whispered.
“Just having you here. Knowing that you understand the loss. That’s a comfort I’m not sure I deserve.” He kissed her, placing her back on her feet. “I need to give you something. After the ceremony last night, my mother gave me this. I was supposed to give it to you at our official wedding today. She wanted both of us to know that she approved. For you, it was showing up and walking you down the aisle, but for me, it was this.”
He held up a beautiful diamond and sapphire ring.
“I know you don’t know what it means. It’s a family heirloom that’s been passed from queen to queen through the generations. My grandmother didn’t pass it to my mother until she had Davide. It was a very big deal for her to give it to me, so you could wear it. It means that you’re my family now,” Xander whispered, his voice rough with emotion. “My mother said you have a good heart—” His voice broke, and his eyes were glassy. “She said that you have a good heart and a forgiving nature and that the world will look at you like that makes you weak. They will take advantage of it, but I should never take it for granted.”
Xander took her hand and slid the ring on her finger. “Even she could tell I didn’t deserve you.” He laughed and kissed her hand.
“Yes, you do,” she said.
“I don’t, but I’ll never stop trying,” he said.
She wrapped her arms around him and held him for a few long moments. The only sound was the wind in the trees on the edge of the clearing.
“Do you want to go back inside?” Cecilia asked.
“I thought maybe we could stay here and look at the stars for a few more minutes,” he said.
She twisted in his arms, leaning back against him as they gazed up at the beautiful sparkling sky.
They lingered for a long time, Xander pointing out fake constellations and making up myths about them like he had when they were alone in the wild before. They stayed there until Cecilia swayed on her feet from fatigue and Xander’s fingers were stiff and cold before going inside and falling asleep in a tangle of limbs.
Cecilia woke from a dream of an arrow lodged in Rainer’s heart. She choked on a scream as she shot up in bed. Immediately, Xander was holding her. Evan looked over at her from his perch by the window.
“Something’s wrong,” she rasped. She looked around the room wildly for Rainer. She finally took a deep breath when she saw him looking back at her, his green eyes drowsy with sleep.
“What is it?” Rainer asked.
Cecilia closed her eyes and listened. “Death whispers. They’re faint, but they’re there.”
“You can’t summon,” Xander said, panicked.
“I’ve always been able to hear them. I’m not summoning anything. I’ve just always been able to sense spirits and those whispers,” Cecilia assured him. She listened again. It was subtle, but they’d definitely become louder and slightly more insistent.
She jumped to her feet. “We have to go.”
They packed their supplies in a flash and rushed off as first light lifted the veil of darkness from the surrounding woods. They hoped to ride all the way through the Godswoods by nightfall.
Cecilia pulled on her fur-lined cloak to warm herself, though she knew the chill she felt wasn’t from the cold. It was from fear. The death whispers faded behind her, but they left her with the distinct feeling that they could run as much as they wanted, but there was nowhere to hide.
31
The snow had stopped falling but still lay thick on the trail, making for a difficult morning ride. They finally stopped for a break in the late afternoon, the horses and their riders desperate for rest. They weren’t making the time they hoped to, and the idea of resting in the Godswoods for the night instead of in Alstairs on the other side of them made Cecilia uneasy.
She was about to grab her canteen when an arm snaked around her waist, turning her before pushing her up against a tree. The kiss shocked her down to her toes as his hands wandered greedily over her body. When he finally pulled away, she was grateful for the tree behind her because she thought she might fall over.
“That was excessive,” she mumbled.
“I promise, it wasn’t. I’ll show you excessive later, love.” Xander winked.
“I think it’s excessive how you kiss her like you’ve been separated for years instead of a couple of hours every time you get off your horse,” Evan huffed.
“You don’t have to watch, Evan,” Xander quipped.
Evan crossed his arms. “Well, when you do it a foot off the trail, we kind of do because, clearly, you’re not paying attention to anything except the princess’s lips. Someone has to make sure you don’t get one or both of you killed.”
“I think that’s the first time I’ve ever seen royals kiss. If that’s how they do it, I guess I understand why I haven’t seen it in public,” Teddy teased.
Heat crept into her cheeks as Xander laughed. Rainer fussed with a map, his eyes snagging Cecilia’s.
“I suggest not looking if you don’t want to see me kiss my beautiful wife that way, because I’m never going to stop doing it. I’m the prince, and I’m in charge. What I say goes,” Xander said.
“Technically, you’re a refugee fleeing a coup,” Rainer grumbled.
“That’s fair, but I still can’t help myself,” Xander said.
Xander sat down with Teddy and Evan, discussing workable options for their route through the Godswoods, and Cecilia made her way over to Rainer.
“You okay?” she asked.
They hadn’t spoken since the wedding. She’d hoped she’d feel different once she was married, but her heart was immovable, still fluttering when Rainer met her eyes.
“Yes,” Rainer sighed. “This wasn’t what I had in mind for you.”
“What do you mean?”
He frowned, avoiding her eyes. “I thought marrying him would keep you safe, not make you more of a target.”
“If you knew then what you know now, you would have told me to do something different?” she asked.
Rainer reached over and tucked a stray hair behind her ear. “I don’t know.”
Instead of feeling the conflict that she usually felt in their connection, she felt deep regret in him. She placed her hand on his.
“We chose the best option to get us home safely. All we can do is make the best of it now,” she said.
He stared at her, his gaze dropping to her lips briefly. Desire pulsed through their bond. She froze. Teddy looked over at them at that exact moment, and she wrenched her gaze away from Rainer’s as Xander sat down beside her.
Rainer cleared his throat, fumbling with the map. “So we’ll be camping in the Godswoods tonight.”
