The Lost God, page 13
“It was dark, and we’d never met face-to-face before.” She shrugged.
“Cecilia.” He only used her full name when frustrated with her.
“I was scared, and I kept waiting for you to come back, so I bought myself time. I knew you would know what to do, but then we were fighting, and these other hunters came along, and we had to fight them, and I was just in my bathing gown.”
She turned and saw Rainer looking horrified. Xander smirked before riding ahead to give them privacy, or at least the illusion of it.
“It was fine. It was dark. No one saw anything. It just kept getting tangled around my legs, which was annoying,” she said.
“I’m sure they saw plenty. No wonder he was looking at you like that today,” Rainer said.
“Like what?” she scoffed.
“Like he was picturing you naked. And what’s with the nickname? Goddess? That’s a bit much, no?”
She felt it then, in a quick surge through their bond. “Rain, are you jealous?”
“No, but it’s my job to protect you from all threats.”
“And now a kiss is a threat?” She laughed.
“A kiss from him is. His conquests are—prolific.”
“That’s hypocritical coming from you, isn’t it, Rain?”
“Maybe, but I would hate to see you hurt,” he whispered.
“Nothing happened.”
He sighed. “You’re lying.”
“I’m not.”
“I always know, Cece.”
“Maybe you’re getting rusty.”
Rainer leaned close to her ear and said, “I don’t trust him, Cece. I just want you to be careful.”
It astonished her how simple things like that could startle her. Her heart raced at his proximity.
“If you don’t trust him, why are you letting him come with us?” she asked.
“Because we were ordered to, and when it comes to your safety, I’m willing to get all the help we can, especially with the way you can’t help running toward danger. You know, he told me his plan for my rescue, and it’s exactly what I would have done. I trust him to keep you safe, but I don’t trust him beyond that. Be careful how much you show him of yourself.”
“Is that literal or figurative?” she asked, trying to make a joke.
“Both.”
“Rain?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m just so glad you’re all right.”
He hugged her, and she leaned her head back against his shoulder. For a moment, their tension eased. They fell into a comfortable silence, Rainer stuck in his own head and Cecilia too tired and sore to carry on an idle conversation.
11
When they finally stopped for the night in a dense group of trees, Cecilia practically fell into Xander’s arms as she climbed off Zeke. They’d been on high alert all afternoon. The vigilance was draining but necessary since Rainer decided they should stay on their initial route to have a prayer of making it in and out before full war broke out.
The temperature dropped as the sun went down, and since they were at a higher elevation as they entered the more mountainous region, a chill hung in the air. She hadn’t noticed when they were riding because Rainer’s proximity kept her warm.
She shivered, but before she could even look at her satchel, Xander handed her a sweater. She fought a smile as he helped her put it on over her wounded shoulder. It smelled like him, a pleasant blend of cedar and bergamot.
“Just as I suspected.” He smiled at her, pulling her hair out of the collar, his fingers lingering on her neck.
“What?” she asked.
“You look just as lovely in blue as you do in green. It brings out your eyes.”
Her gaze darted to Rainer, worried he’d catch her fawning over the hunter, but he was busy starting a fire.
“I still owe you that kiss,” Xander whispered, brushing his thumb over her bottom lip.
“I didn’t ask for it.” She refused to give Xander the satisfaction of knowing how interested she was.
“Yet,” he teased. “You will.”
“Funny that you’re the only one bringing it up,” she said casually.
“But not the only one who’s been thinking about it.”
Cecilia enjoyed the flirtation. It reminded her of their time in the garden. “I should go help Rain.”
“He can handle a fire,” Xander whispered. “He’s had you to himself all day. I’ve missed you.”
She rolled her eyes. “You barely know me.”
“And yet I already pine for you. All day, the only thing I could think of was kissing you.” Xander sighed.
“Oh, please,” Cecilia scoffed. “I’m not just some empty-headed woman who will swoon over your poetic ramblings. The moonlight on my skin, thinking about kissing me all day? You must think me a common fool.”
“Of course not. I think you uncommonly lovely. Would you prefer hand-to-hand combat as courtship? I’d be happy to oblige, but seeing as you’re wounded, it seemed inappropriate today.”
Xander tucked a stray hair behind her ear with the same familiarity usually reserved for Rainer. His hand lingered on her neck.
“How are you feeling? It frustrated me when you didn’t run. I was so distracted worrying about you, I only killed three hunters.”
Cecilia smiled sardonically. “I’m fine. So sorry I distracted you from your murder spree.”
“But I hate to see you in pain,” he said, guiding her chin up so she met his eyes. “What did you do to that slayer?”
“It was just some memory magic.”
“It was like no memory magic I’ve ever seen.”
“I’d expect a hunter wouldn’t have seen much,” Cecilia said pointedly.
“I suppose.” Xander smirked.
His fingers roamed down the back of her neck, and she shivered. They stared at each other. She wanted him to kiss her again. Though she wouldn’t admit it, her body leaned toward him involuntarily. Xander’s eyebrows shot up in surprise.
“Cece? Can you help me?” Rainer called.
“I’m winning you over, Moon Goddess,” Xander whispered.
“You keep telling yourself that,” Cecilia said over her shoulder as she walked toward Rainer.
“Nice sweater,” Rainer mumbled as Cecilia squatted down next to him and conjured a small flame to get their fire started.
“Thank you. I was cold.”
“Why do you let him touch you like that?” Rainer asked.
“I like the way he touches me.” She paused, questioning whether she should tell Rainer. As much as his jealousy thrilled her, it also confused her. Rainer didn’t want her, but he also didn’t want her moving on.
“Rain, he’s the hunter from home, the one who left the roses,” she said.
Rainer’s eyes went wide in recognition. “Well, that’s just—”
A feeling she didn’t recognize flowed through her bond with Rainer. It felt like a sinking regret and nauseating envy. He opened his mouth to say more and then shook his head, thinking better of it.
Rainer said little for the rest of the night. They ate dinner in silence before settling in to sleep. Cecilia could barely keep her eyes open, the blood loss and exhaustion weighing heavily on her.
After the attack, they decided they were no longer safe to all sleep at the same time. Someone would need to stay awake to watch for threats.
“I’ll take the first watch,” Xander offered.
“But you were up all night riding,” Cecilia argued.
“She’s right. I’ll take the first watch,” Rainer said, picking up his bow and sword and stalking away.
“I guess it’s just you and me, Cece. Let me tuck you in.” Xander pulled a blanket up, and she grinned. He lay down a few feet away.
“You’re staring,” she whispered.
“Just making sure you’re okay. You look cold.”
“I’m fine,” she said. The temperature had plunged further, and her breath came in little puffy clouds in the cold air. She shivered under the blanket.
“You know. I would be happy to help keep you warm if you wanted me to. You just need to ask,” Xander whispered.
She closed her eyes, pulling the blanket tighter around her. After a few moments of quiet, Xander spoke again.
“Your teeth chattering could wake the dead.”
Cecilia opened her eyes, annoyed at the amused look on his face. “I’ll adjust.”
“Are you afraid to let me close? I promised I wouldn’t do anything you didn’t ask me to do. I can behave myself.”
“It’s hard to fall asleep when you won’t stop talking or staring at me.” She sighed. Cecilia closed her eyes again and tried to keep herself from shaking.
“It’s my job to keep you safe. If you freeze to death, I won’t have done my job, and that will be hard to explain to your father. I promise I’ll behave myself,” Xander said.
“Will it shut you up?” she asked.
“Yes, and I’ll be a perfect gentleman.”
“I’m certain you have no idea how to do such a thing.”
Xander pulled her against his chest. Warmth flooded her body. He wrapped the blankets tight around them. After a few minutes, she stopped shaking.
“Is that better?” he whispered. She was warm but wide awake. “Relax, you’re as tense as you were when you first started riding with me.”
“I’m just not used to sleeping so close to a stranger,” she whispered.
“We’re well-acquainted now, aren’t we? After all our time in the gardens in Olney and on the road here? After our kiss?”
Cecilia sighed. “I suppose we are, but I’ve always struggled to sleep when I’m not at home.”
“You seemed to sleep quite well in my arms last night,” he countered.
“That was unusual.”
“Perhaps I just have a soothing effect on you, and you aren’t willing to give me credit for it,” Xander suggested.
“Or perhaps your endless self-important droning bores me to sleep.”
He laughed. Then his face grew serious, and he looked down at her lips again.
“I think you were right about how tempting I find your proximity. Now that you’re pressed up against me, all I can think about is you pressed up against me last night.”
Her breath hitched as he pulled her closer.
“That was quite surprising, you know. Not just that you let me kiss you but that you kissed me back,” he whispered.
“Well, I hope you enjoyed it, because it won’t be happening again,” she said, closing her eyes.
“I enjoyed it, and I look forward to doing it many more times.”
She stifled a nervous laugh. “But not tonight.”
“There’s always tomorrow,” Xander said.
Trying to take off layers of clothing with a shoulder wound in the freezing cold was a slow and exhaustive effort for Cecilia’s already weary body. She’d woken stiff but warm at first light, her body pressed against Rainer’s. Sometime during the night he must have changed places with Xander, but she’d slept so heavily she missed it.
Now, she was happy to have some alone time. She hadn’t been on her own in weeks, and she needed to clear her head. Checking that Xander wasn’t spying on her, she slowly changed into her bathing gown and removed the bandage.
The morning was cloudy, the air thick with the scent before snow. All the foliage in the forest seemed poised to curl in on itself at the first flakes.
She knew the water would be icy, but fresh water was hard to come by, and she was still caked in blood and sweat from their fight the day before. Hissing as she waded into the icy stream, she washed up quickly and was ringing out her hair when the crunch of leaves startled her. She drew her dagger and turned to find Xander watching her on the shore.
“Goddess, we have to stop meeting like this.” Mischief danced in his eyes as his gaze passed shamelessly over the bathing gown stuck to her skin.
“I wanted some alone time.”
“I told you before. I value your safety over your privacy,” Xander chided.
She frowned at him, shivering as she stepped out of the water. He pulled off his tunic and started on his pants.
Cecilia gasped, abruptly turning away. “What are you doing?”
“Bathing.”
There was a splash behind her as he moved into the water. Cecilia kept her eyes averted as she changed into her last clean set of clothes and Xander’s sweater before glancing at him.
He stood with his back to her, waist-deep in the water. Cecilia took in his well-defined shoulders and back as water droplets slid down the path of least resistance along the lines of muscle. His skin was a ledger of combat written in scars. Cecilia’s fingers itched to trace each mark and hear the story of how he received it.
She sat down on a log, facing away from the water. Lifting the hem of her shirt, she brought her hands to the wound on her side. She took deep breaths, drawing on her power. Tingling healing spread through her body as the wound knitted over to a pink scar and then, nothing at all.
When she opened her eyes, Xander stood next to her, wearing just his britches, loose on his hips. The muscles of his stomach rippled as he moved. She’d felt the strength of those muscles when he’d lifted her up the day before, but seeing them on display was mesmerizing.
“Xander!” she said, covering her eyes with a hand too slowly. “Can you put some clothes on, please?”
“See something you like?” he taunted as he pulled on a tunic.
Yes, everything. A flush spread up her neck to her cheeks. She’d only seen Rainer in such a state of undress after his morning swims in the sea beneath her cottage, and that left her similarly flustered.
She tried to ignore him as she brought her hand inside her shirt to the wound in her left shoulder. She breathed deeply, calling on the same power as before. Flurries began to fall around them as the wound slowly knit back together. It took longer since the injury was more serious.
After a few minutes, her shoulder looked normal, though the pain and stiffness would remain for a day or two. She moved her shirt so Xander could see.
“Amazing. You would never know,” he marveled. He leaned in close and placed a feather-light kiss where the mark had been. She rose to her feet, and the blood rushed to her head, sending her stumbling into Xander’s arms.
“Sorry, sometimes healing wears me out,” she said.
“Not a problem.” Xander swept her into his arms.
Cecilia swatted at him. “I can walk. It was momentary dizziness.”
“Gods, I love the way you smell. Even in the snow, you smell like midsummer in Olney, lemons and lavender. How is that?” He tucked his face into her neck.
“It’s magic.” She laughed. “Rainer’s mother was an earth witch, but she had a gift for scents. She and my mother were good friends, and she used magic to bind the smell of the day I was born. My birthday is in late July, when the lemon trees and lavender bloom.”
“The scent is intoxicating, just like your lips.”
“Put me down,” she said, trying to squirm out of his arms.
“I dreamt about kissing you all night,” he whispered.
“Well, it’s good to have ambitious dreams. Gives you something to aim for.”
He laughed, continuing to carry her up the hill to their camp. “Say that you want me to.”
“I’m not in the business of lying,” she taunted.
“That’s funny, because I think if you were, you would be terrible at it. Your heart races every time I suggest it.”
“Maybe it’s because it annoys me.” She fought to hide her grin.
“It’s not.” Xander smirked at Cecilia as he set her back on her feet and brought his hands to frame her face. Her heart beat wildly at his proximity.
“Are you feeling better?” he asked, concern wrinkling his brow.
She wanted to say something, but the exhaustion and the way he looked at her made her shaky, so she just nodded.
“Can I assist you with anything else?” Xander’s gaze dropped to her lips.
Snowflakes dusted his hair, and she reached up to brush one from his cheek. The entire scene was like something out of a fairy tale. She wanted to resist, but she was also desperately curious to see if it would feel the same to kiss him again.
“Kiss me,” she whispered.
Xander smiled triumphantly, tilting her chin. He placed a soft, sweet kiss on her lips—short and tender and over much too soon.
“That’s it?”
“Goddess, you’re already weak in the knees. I didn’t want you to faint.”
She rolled her eyes but froze when her gaze landed on Rainer, watching them from the top of the hill.
Xander followed her gaze. “Plus, your guardian is watching. He always seems to interrupt us. I don’t think he likes me.”
Rainer’s hands clenched at his sides as she worked her way up to meet him. Before she reached him, Xander grabbed her wrist and spun her toward him.
“Here. Take my scarf. It will be colder as we climb higher in these mountains. It will keep you warm,” Xander said.
She smiled as he wrapped the soft wool scarf around her neck.
“We’re about an hour’s ride from the next cave,” Rainer said tightly.
Cecilia felt him quietly seething, his anger sending warm prickles snaking down their bond. He helped her onto Zeke before hopping up behind her.
They took off without waiting for Xander. Rainer urged the horse on faster.
“Rain, it was just a kiss,” she said.
He slowed their pace slightly. “It wasn’t. I saw the way you looked at him like a lovestruck teenager, like all the women at court do.”
“And like they all look at you,” she shot back. “It’s a meaningless flirtation.”
“It’s not. You really like him.”
She could tell he wanted her to disagree. “I don’t know him or how I feel, but regardless, it’s not my priority right now. I don’t know why you’re so bent out of shape. You’ve seen me kiss other people before.”
“Not like that.”
“That was a chaste little kiss.”
“It wasn’t the kiss. It was the way you let him sweep you up. You let him take care of you. I’ve never seen you do that. If he hadn’t been there yesterday, you would have pulled that arrow out yourself.”
