The Lost God, page 39
Grimon stared at Rainer in a way that unnerved Cecilia. She wondered what he saw. Finally, he looked at her and smiled.
“Heard you had a run-in with a horde of spirits,” Grimon said.
“I did,” she said.
“How did you stop them?”
“Luck.”
Grimon laughed at her honesty and pulled out a picnic basket. Xander gave him an incredulous look.
“Relax, Your Highness. It’s just a picnic. Your wife is skin and bones,” Grimon said.
Xander sheathed his sword and sat next to Cecilia.
“You want us to have a picnic with you?” Evan asked, staring at the two gods in disbelief.
“We aren’t here to hurt you. We wanted to see what all the fuss was about. It’s not every day you get to meet a new goddess—especially one who is also a witch,” Grimon said. “Tell me, little goddess, why don’t you access your power?”
Cecilia’s cheeks burned under the intensity of Grimon’s gaze. “That’s personal.”
Grimon smirked. “I like you, Cecilia. You have very little fear. You’ve always been that way. You’ve really piqued his interest.”
“Whose interest?”
“The Trickster.”
Cecilia’s blood ran cold.
“He’s very interested, and that asshole has tricked me more times than I can count,” Grimon said. “I’m curious why you make him so nervous.”
“Cato hasn’t even met Cece,” Xander said. His expression was inscrutable. His emotions were a swirl of fear and anger.
Cecilia frowned as Grimon continued.
“You’ve met before. You’ll probably meet again soon. He can’t help himself. Curiosity always gets the better of him.”
Cecilia shook her head. “But my father didn’t tell me I’d met him. Only to be careful of him.”
“Your father doesn’t know everything, Cecilia,” Grimon said. “Cato has a way of sneaking between realms and between consciousness to get to who and what he wants. You probably met him before your powers awakened and didn’t recognize him.”
Cecilia searched her memory, but nothing stuck out.
“Come on, little goddess,” Grimon taunted. “Gray eyes, dark hair, scar on his right eyebrow, mischievous smile.”
“My dream,” she whispered.
“Not quite a dream, I suppose,” Grimon said. “What did he want?”
Grimon’s distaste for Cato was obvious on his face. Samson’s scowl echoed his disgust.
Cecilia pulled up the memory. “He said he wanted to get to know me.”
“And what did you tell him?”
“That he was creepy.”
Grimon and Samson chuckled, and Cecilia grinned at the insanity of making the gods of death and lust laugh during a picnic in the forest.
“But if he’s not on our side, why did he save us in the Reflection Forest?” Cecilia wondered aloud.
The look of shock on Rainer’s and Xander’s faces reminded her that she’d never told them what happened there.
“Who can say why the Trickster does what he does, but it’s always motivated by his own best interest,” Samson said.
Grimon poured a glass of wine and waved a hand over it. Cecilia took it skeptically.
“It will help with your symptoms, Cecilia.”
She took a tentative sip.
Grimon looked at the others. “Will you really turn down hospitality from a god?”
They all moved at once. Both kingdoms considered it bad luck to turn down offerings from a god, though Cecilia had always thought that was more metaphorical. Rainer and Evan sat down and helped themselves to the feast.
“Why are you helping me?” Cecilia asked.
Grimon’s smile was disarming.
“Most people turn to me when they need something, but you’ve been talking to me since you were young,” he said. “Do you remember?”
Cecilia finally allowed the memory from childhood to pop into her mind. She hadn’t known what she was as a child, but Grimon must have.
“I remember you as a little girl, walking on the beach, talking to me about your mother,” Grimon said, the moment he described flickering in Cecilia’s mind. “You didn’t ask me to bring her back. You just asked me to take care of her. You talked to me about the spirits who asked you for things. You were always asking me to take care of the ones you ran into—especially the lost ones. You have a big heart, little goddess, but there’s little room for heart in what you’ll have to do to survive. You don’t even know the trouble you’re in.”
“You prayed to the god of death when you were a little girl?” Evan asked.
“Who would you pray to if you started seeing spirits?” Cecilia replied.
Evan shrugged.
“She knew there was nothing to fear. She understood what most wise adults don’t.” Grimon sighed.
“And what’s that?” Xander asked.
“That he doesn’t control who lives and dies,” Cecilia said, staring into Grimon’s eyes. “Only the fates do. His job is simply to act on their instruction, to shepherd the dead and to take care of the spirits who have crossed.”
Xander, Rainer, and Evan were dumbfounded.
“Is that true?” Rainer asked.
Grimon nodded. “It’s easy to make me the villain. Truth be told, I’m probably the least violent of all the gods. People assume because I can’t just keep people alive that I want them dead. There’s a balance between the worlds. If I kept a person alive, someone else would have to die. I can only return spirits who are in between, and even then, they must choose to go back.”
“So why are you here?” Evan asked.
“Technically, Samson and I are supposed to remain neutral in all godly affairs, but I have a personal score to settle,” Grimon said, turning to Cecilia. “Are you feeling better? You don’t look as pale.”
The gnawing in Cecilia’s stomach had eased, and she actually felt hungry. Before she could reach for a sandwich, Rainer handed her one.
“Your soul bond is fascinating and very rare,” Samson said.
“We know it’s rare,” Rainer said.
“Yes, but do you know how rare? There’s never been a god or goddess with a soul bond,” Samson said. “No one knows what it means, but it certainly makes things more interesting. He has a direct connection to your heart. He shares your burdens and your grief.”
Samson took a swig of wine, ignoring the dirty look Xander gave him.
“You know what they say about soul bonds, right?” Samson continued. “How they always seek each other out? How they can’t stand to be apart? He feels such a deep longing for you.”
“Are you trying to make this the most awkward lunch ever?” Cecilia huffed.
Samson laughed.
Grimon stood and offered Cecilia his arm. “Relax, feisty little goddess. This is nothing that we all don’t know. Will you walk with me?”
She looped her arm through Grimon’s and followed him down the trail.
“It would be best if you accept your power sooner rather than later. At least now it will be your choice to do so. Later it might not,” Grimon said.
“None of this has been my choice,” Cecilia said coldly.
“That may be true, but you can either throw a tantrum about it or accept it. You can’t delay forever. You’ve always been a goddess. Your powers were just bound. When you accept the exchange—when you embrace the full power—you’ll have a whole new set of gifts and abilities.”
“What will happen?” she asked.
Grimon shrugged. “Your senses will be heightened. You’ll see, hear, smell, and taste things like you couldn’t before. Powers you already have will be stronger. New powers will show up.”
“Why do you care?” she asked.
“Because there is trouble coming for you, and we are old friends, Lady Cece. War is coming. It would be best for you and your kingdom if you were prepared.”
“And you care about Olney?” She laughed.
Grimon frowned. “I care about Endros. That vapid warmonger is starting another one of his ridiculous wars, and you could be the one who stops him.”
“Shouldn’t you like the god of war? Doesn’t he send you lots of souls?” Cecilia asked.
“No, Cecilia. Endros and his wars upset the balance between worlds. It’s an overwhelming number of souls entering at once, and it creates problems,” Grimon said. “There’s not enough people working intake. It just gets very messy.”
“You want me to accept my goddess powers so you can avoid staffing problems in the Underworld?” Cecilia said, scowling at Grimon.
“It’s much more complex than staffing,” he said. “It upsets the balance between realms. I don’t think you want to know what it looks like to have too many souls to process. Especially after what you dealt with the other day with that death summoner.”
Cecilia shivered, thinking about it.
“I know why you don’t want to access your powers,” Grimon said. “It’s a shame it will cost you so much, but your sickness will just get worse until you accept them. You’re wasting away.”
She clenched her fists and said, “I’m not ready yet.”
“You better get ready soon. I know it isn’t fair. Cultivate that anger,” Grimon said quietly. “Hold on to that rage for when you discover where to direct it.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means eventually you will figure out who deserves the brunt of your righteous anger, and when you do, use it.”
“Must you all be so cryptic?” she asked.
“I suppose it’s part of my allure,” Grimon said. “Those of us who are ascended gods are not permitted to give you all the answers. We can give you pieces, but none of us can offer the full picture. You must put that together yourself. It’s part of the laws of nature and the balance between worlds. It’s an exchange of sorts. You’re still corporeal, and you will be once you accept your powers. You need the veil that keeps you in your body as a living god. Those of us who are ascended don’t have that problem, but we’re much weaker in this world.”
“Well, it’s terribly annoying.” Cecilia sighed.
“Can I offer you some advice from a very old god to a brand-new goddess?”
“I suspect you’ll give it to me whether or not I want it,” Cecilia said, raising an eyebrow.
Grimon laughed and nodded. “Love is a powerful thing,” he said. “Some would say the most powerful thing. But it can be a poison, or it can be an antidote. It’s important to know the difference.”
Cecilia rolled her eyes and said, “That was appropriately vague.”
“Then let me be direct. Your husband walks a fine line between love and obsession. I’m sure you’ve felt it. I don’t even need to touch him to feel it, and Samson knew it before we even got here. You’ve already seen once that there is more to him than meets the eye.”
Cecilia took a step back. “You think he’s lying to me.”
“I think he hasn’t been fully honest. What he feels for you is real, but it’s dangerous. It can be twisted,” Grimon said.
“And what do you suggest I do about that?”
“From what I understand, you have a unique ability to persuade him to do just about anything you want. Use it. Withhold what he wants so badly.” Grimon winked at her, and she flushed.
He turned and walked back toward the picnic. “Secrets often seem harmless, little goddess. But it’s important to remember that even the most seemingly harmless secrets can devastate. You have a tender heart and two men who love you. Love can make you powerful, or it can make you weak. You get to choose.”
As they neared the others, Grimon’s gaze fell back to Rainer.
“Why do you keep looking at him?” Cecilia whispered.
Grimon’s face was neutral, but she felt a heaviness in the air around him. “I wish I could tell you, Cecilia, but that’s not allowed. Take my advice. Accept your powers sooner rather than later. Free will is the antidote to the whims of fate. Do you remember what the seer asked when you met her all those years ago? The day you were bonded to Rainer?”
“She asked if I seek love or power. It’s the same thing Cato asked when I met him.”
“And what did you say?” Grimon asked.
“Love.”
“Love is power, Cece. At least it is to those who know how to use it,” Grimon said, looking at Rainer again. “Sometimes power can save those we love.”
“Do you know what my powers are?” she asked.
“There’s some speculation, but until you accept them, it’s just gossip. Clastor has always been tight-lipped about the gifts he gives his children, and yours, in particular, were shrouded in mystery.”
“I feel like I’ve had enough surprises for one lifetime.” Cecilia sighed.
Grimon smiled at her. They walked the last few feet in silence.
Cecilia’s mind spun with Grimon’s words. Should I just accept the power now? Is it inevitable? Is something wrong with Rainer? Could my powers save him if there was?
“We must leave you now,” Grimon said, breaking her out of her reverie.
“Do we have to?” Samson moaned as he ruffled Evan’s hair.
Evan looked like he wasn’t sure if he wanted to run away or lean into the touch.
“Remember what I’ve said. Be wise about the deals you make with other gods. Exchange is a tricky thing. Sometimes that which seems harmless does the most damage,” Grimon said, bringing her hand to his lips.
Her companions could only stare as the god of death smiled and kissed the inside of her wrist. His lips made her skin tingle in the most pleasant way.
“Stay safe, Lady Cece,” he said.
Samson reached for her, but Grimon swatted his hand away.
“No fair. I want to kiss her too,” Samson whined.
“I don’t think she needs that right now, brother. She already has too many loves as it is,” Grimon teased.
He threw an arm around Samson and led him into the woods, the scent of burnt cinnamon, tobacco, and vanilla wafting in their wake.
Cecilia looked at her wrist. The sunlight showed a faint outline of Grimon’s lips on her skin, like a tattoo. It was a shade lighter, with an iridescent sparkle.
“Well, that’s terrifying,” Evan said. “What do you think it does?”
“I think it’s a blessing,” Rainer said. “In some of the old mythology books, they talk about the gods granting favors with a kiss.”
“Are you well?” Xander asked.
“Much better,” Cecilia said.
Xander eyed the kiss of death on her wrist suspiciously.
She smirked. “You’re jealous.”
“Of my wife making heart eyes at the god of death? Of course I am! You were practically drooling,” Xander teased.
“Can you blame me?” She rose on her toes and gave him a peck on the cheek before going back to her sandwich.
“Did he say anything interesting?” Rainer asked.
“Just the usual cryptic stuff. He suggested I accept my powers sooner rather than later. He thinks Endros is working to inspire war between Argaria and Olney, and he doesn’t want that because, apparently, it overwhelms the Underworld with souls and throws off the balance between realms. Grimon is under the impression that I can do something about it.”
“Can you?” Evan asked.
“I don’t know. I don’t know what my powers will be, so it’s hard to say.”
Evan met her gaze. “Maybe you should just—”
“No,” Xander said emphatically. “That will not happen. It’s Cece’s choice, and none of us will pressure her to decide anything.”
Xander squeezed her hand. Though she appreciated his confidence, she didn’t share his certainty. She would do anything to keep the people she loved safe.
“We should head out,” Evan said, standing up to gather the horses. “We’re about a day’s ride from Olney City if we push.”
Everything that Grimon said swirled in Cecilia’s mind as they rode through the afternoon. She trusted him. Their goals were aligned. She considered reaching out to her power right there, but immediately flashed back to the way Xander’s face looked when he talked about having kids. If there was even a chance she still could, she had to hold out for him. Maybe she could give up on herself, but she couldn’t take that dream away from him, not when she still had the power to fight.
Cecilia was lost in thought as they crested a hill.
So lost she’d missed the whispers nagging at her for the last mile. When they got louder, she realized what they were: death whispers.
“Wait!” Cecilia yelled.
Her eyes darted to Rainer, who was out front, but it was too late. Arrows arced through the air, striking Rainer, knocking him from his horse.
36
The moment Rainer fell was the worst moment of Cecilia’s life. If there was any part of her that truly believed she’d stopped loving him, it was gone the second the arrows hit him.
She didn’t even realize she was screaming until Xander turned to make sure she hadn’t been hit as well. She was off her horse in seconds, standing over Rainer, leaving Evan and Xander to deal with the hunters in the trees.
An arrow protruded from Rainer’s neck and one from the right side of his chest. He made horrible choking noises.
He’s dying.
The thought stole the breath from her lungs. Panic seized her as she remembered the way Grimon stared at Rainer as if he knew he’d be seeing him soon. Cecilia’s heart leaped into her throat.
She pulled the arrow from his neck first. Blood surged from the wound. She covered it with her hands as Rainer’s eyes fluttered.
“Please don’t leave me, Rainer.” Cecilia repeated the words like a prayer. She prayed to the gods as she healed his wound. She bargained. She offered to trade anything.
The goddess power beckoned to her, the dark wall keeping it out threatening to shatter. Rainer’s eyes shot open, and he grabbed her wrist as if he sensed her intention.
Her hands were covered in blood, but the wound in his neck was almost healed. Another moment and it was done. She carefully wiped the blood from his mouth with her sleeve.
“Cece,” Rainer whispered. “Don’t do it. I won’t be the reason you give in to it.”
