Delphi Complete Works of Sidonius Apollinaris, page 92
[10] And neither of us need regard as too belated the pious duty which we have now fulfilled in our quality as heirs in the third and fourth degree. How many revolving years rolled by before Alexander celebrated funeral rites for Achilles’ shade, or Julius Caesar for the shade of that Hector whom he treated as an ancestor of his own? Farewell.
Sidonius Apollinari suo salutem
XIII.
To [his son] Apollinaris c. A. D. 469
[1] Unice probo gaudeo admiror, quod castitatis adfectu contubernia fugis impudicorurn, praesertim quibus nihil pensi, nihil sancti est in appetendis garriendisque turpitudinibus quique, quod verbis inverecundis aurium publicarum reverentiam incestant, granditer sibi videntur facetiari. cuius vilitatis esse signiferum Gnathonem patriae nostrae vel maxumum intellege.
[1] THE love of purity which leads you to shun the company of the immodest has my whole approval; I rejoice at it and respect it, especially when the men you shun are those whose aptitude for scenting and retailing scandals leaves nothing privileged or sacred, wretches who think themselves enormously facetious when they violate the public sense of shame by shameless language. Hear now from my lips that the standard-bearer of the vile troop is the very Gnatho of our country.
[2] est enim hic gurges de sutoribus fabularum, de concinnatoribus criminum, de sinistrarum opinionum duphcatoribus, loquax ipse nec dicax ridiculusque nec laetus arrogansque nec constans curiosusque nec perspicax atque indecenter adfectato lepore plus rusticus; tempora praesentia colens, praeterita carpens, futura fastidiens; beneficii, si rogaturus est, importunus petendi derogator negati, aemulator accepti callidus reformandi, querulus flagitati garrulus restituti; at si rogandus, simulator parati dissimulator petiti, venditator 1 praestiti publicator occulti, calumniator morati infitiator soluti;
[2] Imagine an arch-stringer of tales, arch-fabricator of false charges, arch-retailer of insinuations. A fellow whose talk is at once without end and without point; a buffoon without charm in gaiety; a bully who dares not stand his ground. Inquisitive without insight, and three-times more the boor for his brazen affectation of fine manners. A creature of the present hour, with ever a carping word ready for the past and a sneer for the future. When he is after some advantage, no beggar so importunate as he; when refused, none so bitter in depreciation. Grant his request and he grumbles, using every artifice to get better terms; he moans and groans when called on to refund a debt, and if he pays, you never hear the end of it. But when any one wants a loan of him he lies about his means and pretends he has not the wherewithal; if he does lend, he makes capital out of the loan, and bruits the secret abroad; if debtors delay repayment he resorts to calumny; when they have absolved the debt he tries to deny receipt.
[3] osor ieiuniorum, sectator epularum; laudabilem proferens non de bene vivente sed de bene pascente sententiam; inter haec tamen ipse avarissimus quemque non pascit tam panis bonus quam panis alienus, hoc solum comedens domi, si quid e raptis inter alaparum procellas praemisit obsoniis. sed nec est sane praedicabilis viri in totum silenda 1 frugalitas: ieiunat quotiens non vocatur; sed sic quoque levitate parasitica, si invitetur, excusans; si vitetur, explorans; si excludatur, exprobrans; si admittatur, exsultans; si verberetur, exspectans.
[3] Abstinence is his abomination, he loves the table; but a man who lives well wins no praise from him unless he treats well too. Personally, he is avarice itself; the best of bread is not for his digestion unless it is also the bread of others. He only eats at home if he can pilfer his viands, and send them off amid a storm of buffets. He cannot indeed be wholly denied the virtue of frugality; he fasts when he cannot get himself invited. Yet with the light perversity of the parasite, he will often excuse himself when asked; on the other hand, if he sees that men avoid him, he will fish for invitations.
[4] cum discubuerit, fertur actutum, si tarde comedat, in rapinas; si cito saturetur, in lacrimas; si sitiat, in querellas; si inebrietur, in vomitus 2; si fatiget, in contumelias; si fatigetur, in furias; faeculentiae omnino par cloacali, quae quo plus commota, plus faetida est. ita vivens paucis voluptati, nullis amori, omnibus risui; vesicarum ruptor fractorque ferularum, bibendi avidus, avidior detrahendi, rabido pariter ore spirans caenum, spumans vinum, loquens venenum facit ambigi putidior, temulentior an facinorosior existimetur.
[4] If left out he grows abusive; if admitted, unbearably elate: no blow descends on him unexpected. If dinner is served late, he falls like a bandit upon the dishes; if appetite is stilled too soon, he falls to lamentation. Thirst unquenched makes him quarrelsome; drunkenness makes him sick. If he banters others, he grows scurrilous; if others banter him, ungovernable; take him for all in all, he is like the filth in sewers, the fouler the more you stir it. His life brings pleasure to few, love to none, contemptuous mockery to all. He is one to burst bladders or break canes upon, one whose thirst for drink is only excelled by his thirst for scandal; exhaling loathsomeness, frothing wine, uttering venom, he makes one doubt for what to hate him most, his unsavouriness, his drunken habits, or his villany.
[5] sed dicis: ‘animi probra vultu 3 colorat et deprecatur ineptiam 4 mentis qualitas corporis; elegans videlicet homo pervenustusque cuiusque sit spectabilis persona visentibus.’ enimvero illa 5 sordidior est atque deformior cadavere rogali quod facibus admotis semicombustum moxque sidente strue torrium devolutum reddere pyrae iam fasti- diosus pollinctor exhorret. praeter hoc lumina gerit idem lumine carentia, quae Stygiae vice paludis volvunt lacrimas per tenebras.
[5] ‘But’, you may say, ‘perhaps a fair complexion lends a colour to a vile nature; perhaps his charm of person redeems ineptitude of mind; the man may have elegance or exquisite taste; he may create a good impression on those who meet him.’ In point of fact, his person is fouler and more unsightly than a corpse rolled half-burnt from the pyre when the brands have settled — such a thing as a very undertaker’s slave could not bring himself to put back. He hardly sees out of his; eyes, which, like the Stygian lake, roll waters down through darkness.
[6] gerit et aures immanitate barrinas, quarum fistulam biforem pellis ulcerosa circumvenit saxeis nodis et tofosis umore verrucis per marginem curvum protuberantibus. portat et nasum, qui cum sit amplus in foraminibus et strictus in spina, sic patescit horrori quod angustatur olfactui. praetendit os etiam labris plumbeum rictu ferinum, gingivis purulentum dentibus buxeum, quod spurcat frequenter exhalatus e concavo molarium computrescentum mephiticus odor, quem supercumulat esculenta ructatio de dapibus hesternis et redundantum sentina cenarum.
[6] His ears are elephantine; an ulcered skin surrounds each aperture with indurated waste, either helix is bossed with suppurating tumours. His nose is broad at the nostril and narrow at the bridge, strait for his own olfactory ends, but for the spectator a cavernous vision of horror. He obtrudes a face with leaden lips and a bestial rictus, with purulent gums and brown teeth; a foul mephitic odour breathes from his decayed and hollow teeth, enhanced by eructations from the feasts of yesterday and the bilge of his excesses at the board.
[7] promit et frontem, quae foedissimo gestu cutem plicat supercilia distendit. nutrit et barbam, quae iam senectute canescens fit tamen morbo nigra Sullano. tota denique est misero facies ita pallida veluti per horas umbris maestificata larvalibus. taceo reliquam sui molem vinctam podagra pinguedine solutam, taceo cerebrum crebra vibice peraratum, quod parum amplius tegi constat capillis quam cicatricibus, taceo pro brevitate cervicis occipiti supinato scapularum adhaerere confinia.
[7] A forehead too he flaunts hideous with creases and distension of the brows. He grows a beard which age vainly whitens, since Sylla’s malady keeps it black. His whole face is as pale as if it were ever dolorous with infesting shades. I spare you the hulking residue, gout-ridden, fat and flabby. I spare you his weal-furrowed skull, covered with almost as many scars as hairs. I spare you the description of a nape so short that when his head is thrown back it seems to merge into his shoulder-blades.
[8] taceo quia decidit honor umeris, decor bracchiis, robur lacertis, taceo chira- gricas manus unctis cataplasmatum pannis tamquam caestibus involutas. taceo quod alarum specubus hircosis atque acescentibus latera captiva vallatus nares circumsedentum ventilata duplicis Ampsancti peste funestat. taceo fractas pondere arvinae iacere mammas quasque foedum esset in pectore virili vel prominere, has ut ubera materna cecidisse, taceo ventris inflexi pendulos casses parti genitalium, quia debili, bis pudendae turpibus rugis turpius praebere velamen.
[8] The sunken carriage, the lost grace and vigour of his arms, the gouty hands bound cestus-like with greasy poultices; all these I spare you, so too the acrid hircine armpits that entrench his sides, and pollute the air for every nostril near him with a reek three times more pestilent than that from Ampsanctus’ cave. And breasts collapsed with adiposity horrible on a man’s body even in mere protuberance, but now hanging like a mother’s. And the pendulous folds of the abdomen about genitals thrice shameful in their debility, a foul creased covering worse than what it hides.
[9] iam quid hic tergum spinamque commemorem? de cuius licet internodiorum fomitibus erumpens arcam 1 pectoris texat curvatura costarum, tota nihilominus haec ossium 2 ramosa compago sub uno velut exundantis abdominis pelago latet, taceo lumborum corpulentiam cluniumque, cui crassitudini comparata censetur alvus exilis. taceo femur aridum ac pandum, genua vasta poplites delicatos, crura cornea vitreos talos, parvos digitos pedes grandes, cumque distortis horreat ita liniamentis perque multiplicem pestilentiam exsanguis semivivusque nec portatus sedeat 3 nec sustentatus incedat, verbis tamen est ille quam membris exsecrabilior.
[9] Why should I tell of his back and spine? True, the ribs do sweep round from the vertebral joints and cover the chest, but the whole branching structure of bones is drowned under a billowing main of belly. I pass over the fat reins and buttocks which make even his paunch look insignificant in comparison. I pass the bent and withered thigh, the swollen knees, the slender hams, the horny shanks, the weak ankles, the small toes and enormous feet. As I have drawn him, he is horrible enough in his deformity, a monster from whom his infinite noisomeness drains half the blood and life, who cannot sit a litter or walk a yard, however much they prop him. But his tongue is more detestable still than his other members.
[10] nam quamquam pruritu laborat sermonis inhonesti, tamen patronorum est praecipue cavendus arcanis, quorum est laudator in prosperis, delator in dubiis; et.1 si ad occulta familiarium publicanda temporis ratio sollicitet, mox per hunc Spartacum quaecumque sunt clausa franguntur quaeque obserata reserantur; ita quod, quas domorum nequiverit machinis apertae simultatis impetere, cuniculis clandestinae proditionis impugnat. hoc fabricatu Daedalus noster amicitiarum culmen aedificat, qui sicut sodalibus velut Theseus inter secunda sociatur, sic ab his postmodum velut Proteus inter adversa dilabitur.
[10] He keeps it busy in the service of the vilest prurience; but it is most dangerous of all to patrons with anything to hide. For those in luck he belauds, but those who are unfortunate he betrays; let a tempting moment but urge to disclosure of a friend’s secret, and instantly this Spartacus will break all bars and open every seal. He will mine with the unseen tunnels of his treachery the houses which the rams of open war have failed to breach. This is the fashion in which our Daedalus crowns the edifice of his friendships, sticking as close as Theseus in prosperity; but when adversity comes, more elusive than any Proteus.
[11] igitur ex voto meo feceris si talium sodalitati ne congressu quidem primore sociere, maxume illorum quorum sermonibus prostitutis ac theatralibus nullas habenas, nulla praemittit repagula pudor, nam quibus citra honestatis nitorem iactitabundis loquacis faece petulantiae lingua polluitur infrenis, his conscientia quoque sordidatissima est. denique facilius obtingit ut quispiam seria loquens vivat obscene, quam valeat ostendi qui pariter exsistat improbus dictis et probus moribus, vale.
[11] The more you avoid even a first introduction to such company the better you will please me; especially to those so shameless that they talk like degraded players at the booths, and know neither bar nor bridle. For when a man exults in leaving all seemliness and decency behind, and fouls a loose tongue with the dirt of all lawless licence, be sure his heart is no less filthy than his language. You may find an evil liver with a serious tongue; the foul tongue and virtuous life are very rarely allied. Farewell.
Sidonius Placido suo Salutem.
XIV.
To his friend Placidus After A. D. 477
[1] Quamquam te tua tenet Gratianopolis, comperi tamen hospitum veterum fido relatu quod meas nugas sive confectas opere prosario seu poetarum stilo cantilenosas plus voluminum lectione dignere repositorum. gaudeo hoc ipso, quod recognovi chartulis occupari nostris otium tuum; sed probe intellego quod moribus tuis hanc voluptatem non operis effectus excudit sed auctoris adfectus, ideoque plus debeo, quia gloriae punctum, quod dictioni negares, das amicitiae.
[1] THOUGH your loved Grenoble holds you far from me, I learn from a sure channel — your former hosts — that you are kind enough to prefer my trifles in prose or verse to all the other volumes on your shelves. It goes without saying that it gave me pleasure to hear how my writings occupy your leisure; but I understand well enough that it is really affection for the author and not the quality of his work which procures you this delight. My debt is all the greater; friendship wins me the honour which you could not honestly give the composition.
[2] de ceteris vero studii nostri derogatoribus quid ex asse pronuntiem, necdum deliberavi. nam qui maxume doctus sibi videtur, dictionem sanam et insanam ferme appetitu pari revolvit, non amplius concupiscens erecta quae laudet quam despecta quae rideat. atque in hunc modum scientia pompa proprietas linguae Latinae iudiciis otiosorum maximo spretui est, quorum scurrilitati neglegentia comes hoc volens tantum legere, quod carpat, sic non utitur litteris quod abutitur. vale.
[2] For the rest, I have not yet considered what definitive reply I shall make to the detractors of my work. The self-appointed critic absorbs a sound or unsound style with equal appetite; he cares no more that the world should exalt his favourite than that it should despise the object of his mockery. And so we see the fine construction, the comeliness and grandeur of our Latin tongue exposed to contemptuous criticism of idle quidnuncs; minds careless and so flippant as this want books only to carp at; their use for literature is a mere abuse. Farewell.
BOOK IV
Sidonius Probo suo salutem
I.
To his friend Probus A.D. 461-7
[1] Soror mihi quae uxor tibi: hinc inter nos summa et principalis necessitudo, et ea quidem patruelis, non germana fraternitas, quae plerumque se purius fortius meracius amat. nam facultatum inter germanos prius lite sopita iam qui nascuntur ex fratribus nihil invicem controversantur, et hinc saepe caritas in patruelibus maior, quia desistit simultas a divisione nec cessat affectus a semine, secundus nobis animorum nexus accessit de studiorum parilitate, quia idem sentimus culpamus laudamus in litteris et aeque nobis quaelibet dictio placet improbaturque.
[1] You married my cousin, whence the first and principal tie between us; the cousinly relationship often leads to a stronger, purer, and more unmixed affection than that between two brothers. For when brothers’ quarrels over property are once appeased, their children have no longer cause for disagreement, and so it often happens that cousins are the more deeply attached; the enmities arising from the partition of estates are over, the tie of blood relationship remains. The second link between us is intellectual, and formed by a similarity of studies; our literary taste is identical; we praise and blame the same things; a style approved or disapproved by one produces the same impression on the other.
[2] quamquam mihi nimis arrogo iudicium meum conterens tuo. quis enim iuvenum nesciat seniorum-que te mihi magistrum fuisse proprium, cum videremur habere communem, et si quid heroicus arduum comicus lepidum, lyricus cantilenosum orator decla- matorium, 1 historicus verum satiricus figuratum, grammaticus regulare panegyrista plausibile, sophista serium epigrammatista 2 lascivum, commentator lucidum iurisconsultus obscurum multifariam condiderunt, id te omnifariam singulis, nisi cui ingenium sibique quis defuit, tradidisse? deus bone! quam sibi hinc patres nostri gloriabantur, 3 cum viderunt sub ope Christi te docere posse, me discere, et non solum te facere quod posses sed et velle quod faceres ideoque te bonum non minus quam peritum pro-nuntiari!
[2] But I am presumptuous in venturing a comparison between my judgement and yours. It is common knowledge among young and old that you were my real master, though we were nominally both pupils of another. You were everybody’s teacher in every branch of literature. All of us learned from you, except those who had not the brains, or could not do themselves proper justice: our epic poets derived from you their lofty vein, our comic poets their humour, our lyric poets their musical art; from you the orator drew his rhetoric, the historian his respect for truth, the satirist his pictorial gift, the grammarian his fidelity to rule, the panegyrist his plausibility, the sophist his gravity of style, the writer of epigram his petulance and point, the commentator his lucid method, the lawyer his obscurity. Heavens! how proud our respective fathers used to be when they saw that Christ had given you grace to teach and me to learn, that you not only did what lay within your power but also enjoyed the doing of it, and so deserved a name for goodness no less than a learned reputation.
[3] et vere intra Eusebianos lares talium te quaedam moneta susceperat disciplinarum, cuius philosophica incude formatus nunc varias nobis rerum sermonumque rationes ipso etiam qui docuerat probante pandebas, nunc ut Platon discipulus iam prope potior sub Socrate, sic iam tu sub Eusebio nostro inter Aristotelicas categorias artifex dialecticus atticissabas, cum ille adhuc aetatulam nostram mobilem teneram crudam modo castigatoria severitate decoqueret, modo mandatorum salubritate condiret.
