Delphi Complete Works of Sidonius Apollinaris, page 84
[3] It chanced that the illustrious Catullinus arrived at this juncture from Clermont; always a close friend of mine, he was then nearer to me than ever, as we had just served together; a common duty away from home brings (you know how) fellow citizens nearer. Well, Paeonius and Bigerrus set a trap for the unsuspecting visitor: they took him off his guard, and asked him, before numerous witnesses, whether he was familiar with the new poem. ‘Let me hear some of it,’ said Catullinus. But when they went on jestingly to quote various passages from the satire, he burst out laughing, and asseverated, rather inopportunely, perhaps, that such verses deserved to be immortalized, and set up in letters of gold on the rostra or the Capitol.
[4] Paeonius exarsit, cui satiricus ille morsum dentis igniti avidius impresserat, atque ad adstantes circulatores: ‘ iniuriae communis,’ inquit, ‘ iam reum inveni, videtis ut Catullinus deperit risu: apparet ei nota memorari. nam quae causa festinam compulit praecipitare sententiam, nisi quod iam tenet totum, qui de parte sic iudicat? Atqui 1 Sidonius nunc in Arverno est; unde colligitur auctore illo, isto auditore rem textam.’ itur in furias inque convicia absentis nescientis innocentisque; conscientiae, fidei, quaestioni nil reservatur. sic levis turbae facilitatem qua voluit et traxit 2 persona popularis.
[4] At this Paeonius flamed out, for he was the man whom the fiery tooth of the satirist had most sharply bitten. ‘Ha!’ he cried to the crowd attracted to the spot, ‘I have found out the author of this public outrage. Just look at Catullinus half dead with laughter there; obviously he knew all the points beforehand. How could he thus anticipate, and conclude from a mere part, unless he were already acquainted with the whole? We know that Sidonius is in Auvergne. It is easy to infer that he wrote the thing and that Catullinus was the first to hear it from his lips.’ Now I was not only absent, but ignorant and innocent as a babe; that did not prevent a tempest of fury and abuse against me; they cast to the winds loyalty, fair play, and fair inquiry;
[5] erat enim ipse Paeonius populi totus, qui tribuniciis flatibus crebro seditionum pelagus impelleret. ceterum si requisisses: ‘qui genus, unde domo? ‘, non eminentius quam municipaliter natus quemque inter initia cognosci claritas vitrici magis quam patris fecerit, identidem tamen per fas nefasque crescere adfectans pecuniaeque per avaritiam parens, per ambitum prodigus. namque ut familiae superiori per filiam saltim quamquam honestissimam iungeretur, contra rigorem civici moris splendidam, ut ferunt, dotem Chremes noster Pamphilo suo dixerat.
[5] such power had this popular favourite to draw the fickle crowd whither he would. As you know, Paeonius was a demagogue well versed in the tribune’s art of troubling the waters of faction. But if you asked ‘whence his descent and where his home?’ ’tis known he was nothing more than a plain citizen, whom the eminence of his stepfather more than any distinction of his own house first brought to public notice. He was bent on rising, and more than once let it be seen that he would stick at nothing to attain his end; though mean by nature he would spend freely for his own advancement. For example, when the engagement of his daughter (against whom I would not breathe a word) brought him the alliance of a family above his own, our Chremes, if rumour does not lie, announced to his Pamphilus a dower magnificently beyond the strict civic standard.
[6] cumque de capessendo diademate coniuratio Marcelliniana1 coqueretur, nobilium iuventuti signiferum sese in factione praebuerat, homo adhuc novus in senectute, donec aliquando propter experimenta felicis audaciae natalium eius obscuritati dedit hiantis interregni rima fulgorem, nam vacante aula turbataque republica solus inventus est, qui ad Gallias administrandas fascibus prius quam codicillis ausus accingi mensibus multis tribunal inlustrium potestatum spectabilis praefectus escenderet, anno peracto militiae extremae terminum circa vix honoratus, numerariorum more seu potius advocatorum, quorum cum finiuntur actiones, tunc incipiunt dignitates.
[6] Again, when the Marcellian conspiracy to seize the diadem was brewing, what did our friend do? A novus homo, and in his grey hairs, he must needs constitute himself the leader of the young nobility until in the fullness of time the efforts of a lucky audacity were rewarded, for the interregnum, like a rift in clouds, threw a flash of splendour on the obscurity of his birth. The throne was vacant, the State in confusion; but he, and only he, had the face, without waiting for credentials, to assume the fasces as prefect in Gaul, and for months together climb, in the sight of gods and men, the tribunal distinguished by so many illustrious magistrates. Like a public accountant or advocate promoted to honours at the close of a professional career, he just managed to get recognition at the very end of his official term.
[7] igitur iste sic praefectorius, sic senator, cuius moribus quod praeconia competentia non ex asse persolvo, generi sui moribus debeo, multorum plus quam bonorum odia commovit adhuc ignoranti mihi, adhuc amico, tamquam saeculo meo canere solus versu valerem. venio Arelatem, nil adhuc (unde enim?) suspicans, quamquam putarer ab inimicis non adfuturus, ac principe post diem viso in forum ex more descendo, quod ubi visum est, ilico expavit, ut ait ille, nil fortiter ausa seditio, alii tamen mihi plus quam deceret ad genua provolvi; alii, ne salutarent, fugere post statuas, occuli post columnas; alii tristes vultuosique iunctis mihi lateribus incedere.
[7] A prefect and senator in such wise that only my respect for the character of his son-in-law prevents me from exposing him as utterly as he deserves, behold him unashamed to fan the odium of good and bad alike against one still nominally his friend, as if I were the only man of my epoch competent to string a verse or two together. I came to Aries suspecting nothing — how should I? — though my enemies were good enough to believe I dared not venture. The next day I paid my duty to the emperor, and went down to the forum, as I always do. As soon as I appeared, the conspiracy was at once confounded, being of the sort which, as Lucan says, dares put nothing to the touch. Some fell cringing at my knees, abasing themselves beyond propriety; others hid behind statues or columns to avoid the necessity of salutation; others, again, with looks of affected sorrow, walked closely at my sides.
[8] hic ego quid sibi haec vellet in illis superbiae nimiae, nimiae in istis humilitatis forma mirari, nec ultro tamen causas interrogare, cum subornatus unus e turba factiosorum dat sese mihi consalutandum. tum procedente sermone: ‘cernis hos?’ inquit, et ego: ‘video,’ inquam, ‘ gestusque eorum miror equidem nec admiror.’ ad haec noster interpres: ‘ut satirographum te,’ inquit, ‘ aut exsecrantur aut reformidant.’ ‘ unde? cur? quando?’ respondi; ‘quis crimen agnovit? quis detulit? quis probavit? ‘ moxque subridens: ‘ perge,’ inquam, ‘ amice, nisi molestum est, et tumescentes nomine meo consulere dignare, utrumnam ille delator aut index, qui satiram me scripsisse confinxit, et perscripsisse confinxerit; unde forte sit tutius, si retractabunt, ut superbire desistant.’
[8] I was wondering all the time what might be the meaning of this excess, first in insolence and now in abasement, but was determined not to ask, when one of the gang, put up, no doubt, to play the part, came forward to exchange greeting. We talked, and incidentally he remarked: ‘You see these people?’ ‘I do indeed,’ I answered, ‘and I may say that their proceedings astonish me as much as they impress me little.’ To which my kind interpreter rejoined: ‘It is in your quality of satirist that they show this fear or detestation of you.’ ‘How so,’ I cried, ‘on what grounds? when did I give them the excuse? who detected the offence? who brought the charge and who the proof?’ Then, with a smile, I continued thus: ‘My dear sir, if you don’t mind, oblige me by asking these excited persons from me, whether it was a professed informer or spy who got up this imaginative story about my writing a satire. If they have to make the inevitable apology later, it will be better for them to give up this outrageous behaviour at once.’
[9] quod ubi nuntius rettulit, protinus cuncti non modeste neque singuli sed propere et catervatim oscula ac dexteras mihi dederunt, solus Curio meus, in transfugarum perfidiam invectus, cum advesperasceret, per cathedrarios servos vispillonibus taetriores domum raptus ac reportatus est.
[9] No sooner had he conveyed the message, than they all came to offer their hands and salutations, not man by man, and with decorum, but the whole herd with a rush. Our Curio was left all alone to breathe imprecations on the base deserters, until at fall of evening he was hurried off home on the shoulders of bearers gloomier than mutes.
[10] postridie iussit Augustus ut epulo suo circensibus ludis interessemus. primus iacebat cornu sinistro consul ordinarius Severinus, vir inter ingentes principum motus atque inaequalem reipublicae statum gratiae semper aequalis; iuxta eum Magnus, olim ex praefecto, nuper ex consule, par honoribus persona geminatis, recumbente post se Camillo, filio fratris, qui duabus dignitatibus et ipse decursis pariter ornaverat proconsulatum patris, patrui consulatum; Paeonius hinc propter atque hinc Athenius, homo litium temporumque varietatibus exercitatus, hunc sequebatur Gratianensis, omni ab infamia vir sequestrandus, qui Severinum sicut honore postibat, ita favore praecesserat, ultimus ego iacebam, qua purpurati latus laevum margine in dextro porrigebatur.
[10] The next day the emperor commanded my presence at the banquet he was giving on the occasion of the Games. At the left end of the couch was Severinus, the consul of the year, who managed to trim his sails to a wind of even favour throughout our vast dynastic changes and all the uneven fortunes of the State. Next him was the ex-prefect Magnus, who had just laid down the consul’s office, and by virtue of these two dignities was no unworthy neighbour. Beyond Magnus was his nephew Camillus, who had also held two offices, and by his conduct of them added equal lustre to his father’s proconsular rank and his uncle’s consulship. Next to him was Paeonius, and then Athenius, a man versed in every turn of controversy and vicissitude of the times. After them came Gratianensis, a character not to be mentioned in the same breath with evil; and though lower in rank than Severinus, above him in the imperial estimation. I was last, upon the left side of the emperor, who lay at the right extremity of the table.
[11] edulium multa parte finita Caesaris ad consulem sermo dirigitur, isque succinctus; inde devolvitur ad consularem; cum quo saepe repetitus, quia de litteris factus, ad virum inlustrem Camillum ex occasione transfertur, in tantum ut diceret princeps: ‘ vere habes patruum, frater Camille, propter quem me familiae tuae consulatum unum gratuler contulisse.’ tunc ille, qui simile aliquid optaret, tempore in vento: ‘ non unum,’ inquit, ‘ domine Auguste, sed primum.’ summo fragore, ut nec Augusti reverentia obsisteret, excepta sententia est.
[11] When the dinner was well advanced, the prince addressed a few short remarks to the consul. He then turned to the ex-consul, with whom he talked several times, the subjects being literary. At an early opportunity he addressed himself to Camillus, with the remark: ‘My dear Camillus, you have so admirable an uncle that I pride myself on having conferred a consulship on your family.’ Camillus, who coveted a like promotion, saw his chance, and replied: ‘A consulship, Sire! you surely mean a first?’ Even the emperor’s presence did not check the loud applause which greeted this rejoinder.
[12] inde nescio quid Athenium interrogans superiectum Paeonium compellatio Augusta praeteriit, casu an industria ignoro, quod cum turpiter Paeonius aegre tulisset, quod fuit turpius, compellato tacente respondit, subrisit Augustus, ut erat auctoritate servata, cum se communioni dedisset, ioci plenus, per quem cachinnum non minus obtigit Athenio vindictae, quam contigisset iniuriae, colligit itaque sese trebacissimus senex et, ut semper intrinsecus aestu pudoris excoquebatur, cur sibi Paeonius anteferretur: ‘non miror,’ inquit, ‘ Auguste, si mihi standi locum praeripere conetur, qui tibi invadere non erubescit loquendi.’
[12] By accident, or of set purpose, I cannot say which, the prince now passed over Paeonius, and addressed some question or other to Athenius. Paeonius had the bad manners to take the oversight ill, and made matters worse by answering before the other had time to speak. The emperor only laughed; it was his way to be very genial in society so long as his own dignity was observed. To Athenius the laugh came as compensation for the slight he had suffered. That craftiest of all the elders had been boiling with suppressed resentment all the time because Paeonius had been placed above him, but he calmed himself enough to say: ‘It no longer surprises me, Sire, that he should try to push himself into my place, when he has now pushed into your Majesty’s conversation.’
[13] et vir inlustris Gratianensis: ‘ multus,’ inquit, ‘hoc iurgio satiricis campus aperitur.’ hic imperator ad me cervice conversa: ‘audio,’ ait, ‘ comes Sidoni, quod satiram scribas.’ ‘ et ego,’ inquam, ‘ hoc audio, domine princeps.’ tunc ille, sed ridens: ‘parce vel nobis.’ ‘at ego,’ inquam, ‘ quod ab inlicitis tempero, mihi parco.’ post quae ille: ‘ et quid faciemus his,’ inquit, ‘ qui te lacessunt? ‘ et ego: ‘ quisquis est iste, domine imperator, publice accuset: si redarguimur, debita luamus supplicia convicti; ceterum obiecta si non inprobabiliter cassaverimus, oro ut indultu clementiae tuae praeter iuris iniuriam in accusatorem meum quae volo scribam.’
[13] The illustrious Gratianensis here remarked that the episode opened a wide field to a satirist. On this, the emperor turned round to me and said: ‘It is news to me, Count Sidonius, that you are a writer of satires.’ ‘Sire,’ I answered, ‘it is news to me too.’ ‘Anyhow,’ he replied with a laugh, ‘I beg you to be merciful to me.’ ‘I shall spare myself also,’ I rejoined, ‘by refraining from illegality.’ Thereupon the emperor said: ‘What shall we do, then, to the people who have provoked you?’ ‘This, Sire,’ I answered. ‘ Whoever my accuser be, let him come out into the open. If I am proved guilty, let me abide the penalty. But if, as will probably be the case, I rebut the charge, I ask of your clemency permission to write anything I choose about my assailant, provided I observe the law.’
[14] ad haec ipse Paeonium conspicatus nutu coepit consulere nutantem, placeretne condicio, sed cum ille confusus reticuisset princepsque consuleret erubescenti, ait: ‘ annuo postulatis, si hoc ipsum e vestigio versibus petas.’ ‘fiat,’ inquam; retrorsumque conversus, tamquam aquam manibus poscerem, tantumque remoratus, quantum stibadii circulum celerantia ministeria percurrunt, cubitum toro reddidi, et imperator: ‘spoponderas te licentiam scribendae satirae versibus subitis postulaturum.’ et ego: ‘scribere me satiram qui culpat, maxime princeps, hanc rogo decernas aut probet aut timeat.’
[14] The emperor looked at Paeonius, who was hesitating, and made a sign of inquiry whether he accepted the conditions. But he had not a word to answer, and the prince spared his embarrassment; at last, however, he managed to say: ‘I agree to your conditions, if you can put them in verse on the spot.’ ‘Very well,’ I said; and turning back, as if to call for water for my hands, I remained in that attitude the time occupied by a quick servant in going round the table. I then resumed my former position, and the emperor said: ‘Your undertaking was to ask in an impromptu our sanction for writing satire.’ I replied:
‘O mightiest prince, I pray that this be thy decree: let him who calls me libeller or prove his charge, or fear.’
[15] secutus est fragor, nisi quod dico iactantia est, par Camillano, quem quidem non tam carminis dignitas quam temporis brevitas meruit, et princeps: ‘deum testor et statum publicum me de cetero numquam prohibiturum quin quae velis scribas, quippe cum tibi crimen impactum probari nullo modo possit; simul et periniurium est sententiam purpurati tribuere privatis hoc simultatibus, ut innocens ac secura nobilitas propter odia certa crimine incerto periclitetur.’ ad hanc ipse sententiam cum verecunde capite demisso gratias agerem, contionatoris mei coeperunt ora pallere, in quae paulo ante post iram tristitia successerat; nec satis defuit quin gelarent tamquam ad exsertum praebere cervices iussa mucronem.
[15] I do not want to seem conceited, but the applause which followed was equal to that which had greeted Camillus; though it was earned, of course, less by the merit of the verse than by the speed with which I had composed. Then the emperor cried: ‘I call God and the common weal to witness that in future I give you licence to write what you please; the charge brought against you was not susceptible of proof. It would be most unjust if the imperial decision allowed such latitude to private quarrels that evident malice might imperil by obscure charges nobles whom conscious innocence puts wholly off their guard.’ At this pronouncement I modestly bent my head and thanked him; the face of my opponent, which had previously shown successive signs of rage and vexation, now grew pale. Indeed, it was almost frozen with terror, as if he had received the order to present his neck to the executioner’s drawn sword.
[16] vix post haec alia pauca: surreximus. paululum ab aspectu imperatoris processeramus atque etiamnunc chlamydibus induebamur, cum mihi consul ad pectus, praefectorii ad manus cadere, ipse ille reus amicus crebro et abiecte miserantibus cunctis humiliari, ita ut timerem ne mihi invidiam supplicando moveret, quam criminando non concitaverat. dixi ad extremum pressus oratu procerum conglobatorum, sciret conatibus suis versu nil reponendum, derogare actibus meis in posterum tamen si pepercisset; etenim sufficere debere, quod satirae obiectio famam mihi parasset, sed sibi infamiam.
[16] Little more was said before we rose from the table. We had withdrawn a short distance from the imperial presence, and were in the act of putting on our mantles, when the consul fell upon my bosom, the ex-prefects seized my hands, and my guilty friend abased himself so often and so profoundly, that he aroused universal pity, and bade fair to place me in a more invidious position by his entreaties than he had ever done by his insinuations. Urged to speak by the throng of nobles round me, I closed the episode by telling him that he might set his mind at rest; I should write no satire on his base intrigue so long as he abstained henceforward from the misrepresentation of my actions. It should be punishment enough for him to know that his ascription of the lampoon to me had added to my credit and brought nothing but discredit on himself.
[17] in summa perculi1 quidem, domine maior, non assertorem calumniae tantum quantum murmuratorem; sed cum mihi sic satisfactum est ut pectori meo pro reatu eius tot potestatum dignitatumque culmina et iura summitterentur, fateor exordium contumeliae talis tanti fuisse, cui finis gloria fuit. vale.
