CPC-02. Couch Potato Crisis, page 39
part #2 of Couch Potato Chronicles Series
“Why should I believe you?” he asked. “You look no less human than any other Zhakaran.”
His eyes began to glow again. “You’re not taking us without a fight, Zhakaran.”
Tasha’s eyes began to glow as well, as mana gathered in her body. She cupped her hands to her side. “You’ve left me with no choice. Ka… May… Ha…. May…..”
Before either could finish their attack spells, a small, dimly-glowing fairy zipped between them, her arms outstretched in both directions. “Stop it! Everybody just stop it! Stop fighting!”
“Get out of the way, fairy,” said Fin.
“T...Trista?” The glow from Tasha’s eyes receded. The ninja fairy was the last person Tasha expected to see in this place. “Why? What? How? What the hell are you doing here?”
The fairy looked back and forth between the two combatants. “I’ll explain everything, but for now can you put away your gunblade?” She glanced at Fin. “And you put away your staff, and we’ll all stop trying to murder one another for five minutes and have a nice cup of tea. Wouldn’t that be better?”
“Yeah, I...guess…” Fin lowered the Staff of Fates to the ground.
“I didn’t want to fight in the first place.” Tasha dismissed her gunblade back into her inventory. “He started it.”
Fin’s mouth gaped. “You broke into my city.”
“I’ll go make the tea,” said Mara.
For several minutes, they stood awkwardly, waiting for the dark elf girl to return with the kettle.
Tasha started, “Can we start over? I’m Tasha and I’ve come to rescue my friend Kiwi.”
Fin looked away. “I’m Fingaerion, and this is my sister Mara.” He pointed at the fairy. “And that fairy is Trista.”
“We’ve met.” Tasha crossed her arms and glared at the fairy.
“Yeah,” said Trista. “About that—listen, I’m sorry I tried to kidnap the princess and kill you.” Trista winced. “Multiple times. I’m also sorry about destroying the Belcross Express. I was a different person back then. Resurrection changed me, so I’m a good fairy now.”
“Are you though?” asked Tasha. “People don’t change that quickly.”
“I did. The moment I came back to life, I knew everything I’d done in my last one was wrong and”—Trista set her tiny jaw and there was a spark in her eyes—”I’ve resolved to make things right.”
Fin glared at Tasha. “She did rescue us from slavers. I trust her. I can’t say the same about you, human.”
Tasha sighed. “I’m not a bad person, I promise. We both want the same thing.”
Fin crossed his arms. “You humans are all alike. I’ll never trust any of you, not ever.”
At this, Trista flew in front of Fin’s face, as if daring him to ignore her. The fairy raised her voice to a shrill shout. “Stop jumping to conclusions. Let’s sit down and discuss this calmly over some chamomile!”
“Y...yes ma’am.” Mollified, Fin took his seat and took a sip of the steaming hot cup of tea.
Tasha shrugged. “Let’s cut to the chase. Where’s Kiwi? Is she here?”
Mara and Fin shared a glance. Mara said, “Gelkorus has her.”
“Gel-who?”
“One of the queen’s lieutenants. Took her away to Doctor Penfold’s lab. Wait, your name is Tasha?”
“Yes.”
“As in Tasha Singleton?”
Tasha nodded with her best ‘duh’ expression. “Just like it says on my nametag.”
“Kiwi mentioned you.”
“What did she say about me? Anything good?”
“She said you betrayed her and sold her out to Zhakara.”
“Oh. That’s partly true. There’s more to the story, though. I didn’t betray her on purpose, and I’ve come to make it right. You know where Doctor Penfold’s lab is?”
Before the conversation could progress, the ship lowered to the ground and a ladder dropped from the side. Ari, Pan, and Kegan climbed down, followed by the elven refugees who descended one after the other.
The ship hovered in place just above the ground. Gnomish technicians began their work on the hull, repairing the significant damage the ship had taken during their journey.
Kegan approached Tasha, annoyed. “I told you not to go in alone. Why don’t you ever listen to me?” Kegan’s wife, Gwenestry, remained at his side.
“Sorry, man. I thought it would be better if someone secured the landing area before bringing the ship in.”
“I can’t believe such a small child gave you so much trouble.” Kegan nodded in the direction of the departing airship. “The captain is going to land the ship in a small lake on the south side of town before joining us.”
The half-elf approached the save point. “No time to lose. As soon as I’ve registered myself at the city save point, I’m going to warp back to Brightwind and report to the king. I’ll take some of the refugees with me.”
Tasha said, “You need to warn him about the attack on that city I can’t pronounce, while there’s still time.”
“You mean Aberystwyth?”
“Yeah, that one.”
“I’ll be back as soon as I can.” Kegan glanced around the area with what Tasha guessed was a general’s eye. “Try to keep the area secure until I get back with reinforcements.”
Half a dozen elven refugees had gathered around Kegan. He cast the warp spell, and sixty seconds later, they were flying through the sky toward Brightwind.
Trista turned to Pan. “Just remembered—got something that belongs to you.” Trista removed Pan’s Portable Hole from her inventory and handed it to the small girl.
“My hole!” she squealed in delight. “Where did you find it?”
Tasha, Ari, and Pan spent the next half hour bringing Fin and Mara up to date on all that had happened, starting with the charm spell that led her to inadvertently kidnap Kiwi and hand her to the Zhakaran queen. By the time she got to the assault on Ironfall, Kegan had returned.
While they talked, each of the elven refugees had used the save point, but they kept their distance from the strange human man in the adjoining cage. Kagan was joined by several elven soldiers, all of whom wore full armor and carried spears.
He approached. “Tasha, I have some bad news.”
“What is it?”
“We were too late. I told the King Questgiver about the attack on Aberystwyth, but he had already learned that it was attacked and taken by Zhakaran raiders earlier today. The citizens are being killed for their experience points. By now, they’ll be warping in Zhakaran troops as well. If we’d only been a few hours faster we could have evacuated the civilians.”
“Can we retake the city?” asked Ari.
“Not this close to winter. They’ve already purchased fortifications to their walls. By the time our troops arrive, they’ll have turned the city into a fortress.”
Tasha said, “So they have a beachhead in Questgivria, and we have this city. Is this how wars are fought in Etheria? You just teleport troops where you need them?”
“It’s an effective strategy, but since a single time mage can only warp six people at a time, it’s a slow process. The good news is we have four additional time mages to help us warp in soldiers. By nightfall, we’ll have over a hundred troops at our disposal. I just wish we had a way to bring more in at a time.”
Trista fluttered over to Pan and whispered something in her ear. Pan grinned and offered her portable hole to Kegan. “Take this.”
Kagan took the small floppy black circle and inspected it. “What am I supposed to do with a portable hole.”
Trista said, “Put troops inside it. Since they are in a pocket universe, they don’t count against the skill’s limit. So instead of 100 troops, you could have 1000 by nightfall.”
“That’s…”—Kegan’s eyes went wide—”brilliant!” He held the hole before him and made a slight bow. “Don’t worry, Pan. I’ll return this as soon as we’ve warped our army in.”
Kegan turned curious eyes to Fin. “Are you the administrator of this town of…uh...McBreakfast Sandwiches?”
Fin said, “Kiwi is the owner, but she gave Mara and me administrative privileges.”
“I’m General Kegan. I have to ask you to surrender ownership of the town to me. Questgivria needs it for the war effort against Zhakara. You’ll be reimbursed for the value of the city, of course.”
“I don’t mind, but what’ll happen to us?”
“That’s up to you. I could send you back to Questgivria. Do you have family?”
“I’m not sure,” said Fin. “I was living alone in Elanwîer decades ago when we were both taken. My father and mother were off to war at the time. It’s possible they’ve returned.” He glanced at Mara. “You could come with me, we could live together far away from all this.”
Mara shook her head. “No, we can’t. Not without big sister.”
“That’s what I thought you’d say.” To Kegan, Fin said, “We’re staying here until we can get Kiwi back.”
“That’s fine,” said Kegan. “But I still need you to transfer the city ownership to me.”
Fin tapped his interface, “Let’s see…city administration, ownership, transfer ownership…huh. That’s not good.”
“What’s the problem?” Kegan asked.
“It’s greyed out.” He tapped the air in front of him. “When I tapped it, a message popped up saying city ownership transfers can only be made by the primary owner. Looks like administrator privileges are locked out as well.”
“And the primary owner…”
“Is Kiwi,” finished Fin.
“I see.” Kegan frowned. “That’s unfortunate.”
The half-elf paused, as if considering his words. “How would you two like to join the Questgivrian military? I know you’re just kids, but all you’d have to do is operate the city administration menu for me. We wouldn’t expect you to do any fighting.”
Fin studied Mara, waiting for confirmation. When she nodded, he responded. “What do you need me to do?”
Kegan removed a large handful of coins from his inventory and handed it to Fin, “Take this. It’s 16 million GP. I need you to purchase upgrades as follows. Upgrades to the city level, fortifications for the outer walls, install battlements, upgrade the town guard level to at least 15, and extend the city boundaries a hundred meters beyond the walls. Also, see if you can’t repair the main roads leading from here to the city gates.”
Fin gazed at the coins as he held them. “I’ve never held this much money in my entire life.” He glanced up, his face open and earnest. “I’ll start working on those changes.”
A dozen more elven soldiers entered the town square, coming from the direction of the city entrance. Kegan asked, “How soon can you get the changes made?”
Fin was already busy at his interface. “Should be less than ten minutes—I mean it should be less than ten minutes, General, sir.”
“Just sir is fine. I’ll have you each go through basic training as soon as we’re a properly established outpost.”
“Isn’t anyone going to bring up the eight-hundred pound gorilla in the room?” Tasha asked.
“The what-now?” Kegan squinted at her. He raised his finger as if to request clarification, but then Tasha cut him short.
“Why is there a human in a cage next to the save point?” She raised her eyebrows.
“Oh…that.” said Fin. “He’s our prisoner. He used to be our master, but we escaped and captured him instead.”
“And why is he in a cage next to the save point?” Tasha asked.
“Oh,” said Mara. “I forgot to kill the human.”
She approached the cage, but Kegan stopped her before she could get too close.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” demanded Tasha.
“He killed us first,” said Fin. “Zhakarans killed us for experience points, we’re just taking back what’s ours.”
“This is messed up.” Tasha shook her head slowly. “You’re just kids, you shouldn’t be killing people in cold blood.”
Fin looked her in her eyes. “You might not be so high and mighty if you knew how that man treated us. He force marched elves into traps to disarm them. He punished me for trying to save my sister’s life. He tortured us for fun. He deserves far worse than what we’ve done to him.”
Kegan said, “For what it’s worth, I agree with you, but Questgivrian law is clear about the treatment of prisoners. We’ll keep him locked up for the time being.”
“Let me go!” Marnie stammered. “I didn’t do anything illegal. I’m a Zhakaran citizen. I have rights.”
Kegan approached, allowing Marnie to make out the half-elven general’s features.
“You’re…you’re an elf!”
“What gave it away?” he asked. “The ears? I’m half human, not that it’s any concern of yours.”
“A half-elf? Disgusting such a thing could exist. What man wouldn’t kill such an abomination upon birth? In Zhakara, a half-human beast such as you wouldn’t have been allowed to touch a save point before being slaughtered.”
Marnie turned to Tasha. “And you. Why are you siding with these subhuman beasts over your own kind? The only thing worse than a feral elf is the human who harbors them. You’re a traitor to your own race.”
He pointed at Fin and Mara. “These two are the ones who should be locked up. You know what they’ve done? They’ve killed me over and over for my XP, as though I were a lowly slave.”
Kegan narrowed his eyes. “If I had my way, I’d let them drain your levels completely. It’s your good fortune we don’t allow those things. Since you know our location, we’ll bring in a mindwalker and have your recent memories erased. I’ll drop you off at Ironfall and you can be someone else’s problem.”
“Erase my memories? You have no right to do that!”
Kegan smiled. “If you’d rather, you could ride out the war in a Questgivrian prison cell.”
The human glared at him.
“Think about it, Zhakaran.”
Two elven soldiers had bound his hands and removed him from the cell. A field engineer got to work removing the cage from the save point.
Fin approached Kegan. “I’ve finished the city alterations, General. The town walls now have battlements, I’ve expanded the city to beyond the walls, and I’ve increased the town level. There are now 204 NPCs of different types throughout the city. Those changes took just over 11 million GP.”
“Well done. That was more expensive than I’d hoped, however. No matter.”
To Tasha, Fin said, “Listen, I have some information for you. I know Kiwi’s location. We’ve been communicating through an exploit in the city management system.”
Kegan perked up. “You know where she is? Tell me, quickly.”
Fin handed over his notepad and pointed to the longitude and latitude coordinates. “We’ve been communicating back and forth by using the exploit, but I haven’t heard from her since yesterday.”
“We need to leave right away,” Tasha said.
“Count m...me in,” said Pan.
Hermes nodded vigorously. “Slimon and I are both coming,”
“If you’re going to save Kiwi, count me in,” said Trista Twinklebottom.
“Me too,” said Fin.
“Don’t leave me behind,” said Mara.
Kegan shook his head. “Mara, I need you to stay. We can’t risk both you and Fin on this mission. I need at least one of you to stay behind to operate the city.”
“It’s fine,” said Fin. “I’ll be back before you know it, and hopefully we’ll return with Kiwi.”
Half an hour later, they boarded the Dea Latis and departed, bound for the coordinates supplied by the princess.
Chapter 26
Devil’s Bargain
Though it pains me to say it, I fear Queen Marciana may have lost all perspective, and her new husband Elric Murderjoy only encourages her madness. I had the chance to meet him in person, and he’s certainly imposing. King Elric is the son of a long line of nobles who served during the reign of the Lich Queen.
The Murderjoy family was known for their unwavering belief that strength is man’s greatest virtue. While the Lich Queen was in charge, all cities were expected to sacrifice a small number of children every year in order to feed the queen’s immortality. Most rulers used a lottery system to choose between them impartially. The Murderjoy family chose the weakest children to sacrifice, believing that removing them from the gene pool would strengthen those who remained. People born with missing limbs, the mentally disabled, and those born with lower base stat allocations were the first to be sacrificed.
Since the philosophies of Zhakara and Murderjoy families were so different, it’s a wonder they married. It seems the two of them have come up with a new world order that satisfies both their political outlooks.
Queen Marciana has developed a nation level multicast spell to enforce the Zhakaran first law, or rather a modified version of it. A web layered upon the entire country, the spell will detect when one human attempts to claim mastery over another. Once the spell is in effect, all other laws will be nullified, except those concerned with taxation and national defense.
Queen Marciana believes this is the true realization of her late father’s vision of freedom, while her new husband believes that this will cause the strong to prevail over the weak. She’s taken the first law of non-mastery to its literal extreme, and I can’t see any way that doesn’t backfire.
I tried to talk her out of it, but she won’t hear me. But who am I to her but a silly old man? Maybe she’s right and I’m worried about nothing.
Tomorrow, Ceridwen and I will return to Adriana. When I look at her, Ceri looks exactly the same as the day we first met, but when I look in the mirror I see an old man. Though it seems my aged appearance doesn’t bother her, I see the worry in her eyes. She knows humans have short life-spans, and that few years remain ahead of me. I worry what will become of her once I’m gone.
Though I know she is far older than me, she seems so much younger, both in appearance and in spirit. Unlike men, elves never grow old. She’ll remain as she is forever, while I exist for but a moment in time, my final years those of withering decline. I truly hope once I’m gone, she’ll be able to let me go. I fear she’ll fall into despair without me.
