CPC-02. Couch Potato Crisis, page 3
part #2 of Couch Potato Chronicles Series
Marnie produced his dagger and loomed over his dying wife. Before he could strike, she threw a poison-coated dagger at him. It stuck in his stomach and a debuff indicator appeared over his head.
His wife screamed in pain. “You madman! How dare you attack me? My mother was right—I never should have married you. Consider this a divorce!” She produced a health potion from her inventory.
Marnie pinned her to the ground. “You’re the worst thing that ever happened to me! It’s always nag, nag, nag, but finally I’ll be free of you.” He clasped his hands tightly around her throat. The health potion fell from her grasp and rolled to a stop on the ground.
“Get off me, you psychopath!” She choked the words out, barely able to form them.
“Try to take my treasure from me? It’s time for Marnie to have something good fer himself!”
The human tightened his grip around his wife’s throat, and her eyes went wide as she put her hands around his, trying to pry them away.
“I’ve been wanting to do this for twenty-four years.”
His wife seemed to want to say something but was unable to breathe. Caymie produced a paralysis arrow and stabbed him in the side. Before the effect could take hold, Marnie felt a crack as Caymie’s neck finally snapped.
“I did it! I’m free of that horrible woman and the ability is mine. Mine, all mine.” He cackled as he struggled to get to his feet and climb the steps toward the altar. Before he made it half-way, his dead wife’s paralysis arrow took hold and he rolled down the steps to the rock floor.
His eyes met with the two surviving elves. “You, boy. Bring that health potion, and be quick about it! I’ve only got a few heart containers left.”
Fingaerion stared at him. Master Marnie had used his friends as though they were no more than sacrificial pawns. He’d betrayed and killed his allies, and even murdered his own wife purely out of a desire for personal profit. Humans shared no love or tenderness with one another.
Disgusting. Humans were utterly revolting. An elf wouldn’t have used another person in such a way. Fin had been raised with a basic appreciation and respect for all life, a quality humans lacked.
Marnie killed Fin’s friends and none of the other humans did anything to stop him. Penelope had been right all along. Marnie would kill Fin and Mara unless they killed him first.
His feet still unsteady from the recent fight, he approached Marine, then bent to pick up the health potion.
“Is this what you want?”
Marnie couldn’t move. His face, however, was still contorted in anger. “Yes. Bring it here while there’s still time.”
He approached Marnie, knelt next to him, removed the stopper from the vial, but instead of handing it over, he drank the health potion. The sweet flavor of pumpkin spice overwhelmed his taste buds. Though he was no fan of pumpkin spice, it had been the first thing with flavor he’d tasted in years. The cuts and bruises from the recent fight vanished, as did all the injuries his human masters had previously inflicted, revealing perfect untouched elven skin. His missing pinky finger was fully restored in an instant.
“You idiot! That was for me! Elves aren’t allowed to be healed.”
Fin reached over Marnie’s prone body and removed his pistol from its holster. After removing the safety, he pointed it at Marnie’s head. His hands shook.
“Listen to me closely, human.”
Marnie’s eyes grew wide.
“We are not your property.” He fired point-blank into the man’s skull, and he only stopped when the chamber ran out of bullets. The spent gun fell from his hands and he collapsed.
Victory! All enemies have been vanquished.+75 experience gained. (89 to next level)
Level up!
You have reached level 2. Since you have already assigned points in level 2, your earlier stat assignments have been reapplied.
Mara approached him. “What have you done, big brother?”
“I can’t stay with these humans any longer. They’re monsters. Every human I’ve met has been only out for themselves. I can’t abide their wrongness.”
“But… where will you go?”
The slave collar felt heavy around his neck. “I don’t know. It’s too far from the border to run. Maybe if I find the shore and make a vessel, I can leave for Tír na nÓg.”
Tír na nÓg was the original home of the elves and fairy folk. His ancestors had long ago emigrated to Etheria. Every elf eventually felt the call to return to their ancestral homeland. It was a simple ritual to return, requiring only a boat and a large body of water.
“You want to leave?”
He shook his head. “I don’t. I want to go home, back to my family. But anything is better than staying with these humans. I’ll do anything to be free.”
He sighed and faced her. “I’m sorry I got you into this, Mara. Head back to town and explain everything. They might not punish you as badly if you say I did it alone.”
But he didn’t believe that. Humans needed no excuse to punish elves. They might go easy on her, but it was just as likely they’d punish her for Fin’s transgressions.
Mara’s eyes narrowed, and her mouth became a thin line of determination. “I’m staying with you, big brother. If you’re leaving Etheria, then so am I.”
“I thought you’d say that. Let’s take everything that might be useful and find the shortcut back to the surface.”
“Shortcut?”
“Most dungeons have a path or mechanism in the boss room to let adventurers leave the dungeon quickly.” He pointed at the tile he’d noticed earlier. “I think that’s a teleporter. Once someone takes the treasure, it’ll light up. We can use it to leave the dungeon.”
“Treasure? You mean that scroll?” She pointed.
“It’s an ability.” He glanced at the scroll, then back at her. “Why don’t you take it?”
“An ability? What does it do, brother? You know I can’t read the description.”
He’d tried to teach her to read, but slaves weren’t often allowed to own books or writing implements. For a trash-tier slave, reading was deemed unnecessary.
He explained what the Reverse Stat Shuffle skill was and how to use it. “If you’re fighting a spellcaster, you can move their points from intelligence into strength, dexterity, or some other stat they can’t use. If you’re up against a barbarian like Gunther, put the points into intelligence—barbarians have little use for that. It’s a rare and powerful skill, but you can use it only once each day.”
She shook her head. “It's too complicated for me to use now. You’d make better use of it than I. You take it, big brother.”
He nodded and climbed the steps to the altar. When he reached out, the scroll vanished at his touch. His combat log indicated the Reverse Stat Shuffle ability was added to his list of skills.
As predicted, the teleport tile lit up and glowed brightly. He took her hand and they stepped into it, vanishing together. The darkness of the boss room gave way as they appeared at what used to be the dungeon’s entrance. But since the dungeon had been cleared and despawned, all that remained was a seamless cave wall.
“What do we do now?” asked Mara.
“We pick a direction and run,” he said. “And if fortune is with us, we find a way out of this world before the humans catch us.”
Chapter 1
Couch Potato Crisis
Pan sneezed from where she sat astride Denver, her velociraptor mount. The sneeze was a short, high pitched affair, the kind one might reasonably expect to have been made by a chipmunk who’d inhaled too much helium before being miniaturized. Pan covered her mouth after the fact, but the damage had already been done. Denver turned his head to find the source of the odd noise.
“Sorry, Denver. Fall isn’t g-good for my allergies.”
Pan wore her old white and blue summoner’s robes. Light fitting and comfortable, they were much like everything else in her wardrobe. She’d made the class switch from thief to summoner earlier that day; at a lowly level 6, she was now the lowest level person in the group. Nonetheless, she hoped she’d gain levels and catch up quickly.
She was fishing around for her pocket-handkerchief when a thin cloud of purple mist, accompanied by glowing wisps of light that danced on the wind, gradually formed around the party.
Denver halted in response to Pan’s firm pull on the reins. The velociraptor lowered himself to the ground, allowing the short girl to dismount. Since Tasha was otherwise engaged at the castle, Pan had agreed to give the raptor some much-needed exercise. It wasn’t any bother for Pan; she loved velociraptors. She’d wanted one when she was younger, but her father, Ari, could never afford the cost.
She patted Denver on his scaly green neck before approaching her companions. The gathering mist was a telltale indicator of an impending random encounter, the most frequent of which were clashes with mist monsters.
Hermes, a dwarven prince who stood beside her, wielded a machine gun attachment that replaced the entirety of his missing left arm. His red hair and beard were done into a multitude of elaborate braids.
Hermes also wore a bizarrely anachronistic tie-dye t-shirt, a style of clothing the previous Player had taken to Etheria and made moderately popular some 500 years earlier. Hermes deemed it a fitting style of attire for a prince, and dwarven stubbornness—being what it is—entertained no sentiments to the contrary.
The dwarf tapped the air before him, manipulating a menu system visible only to him. His tie-dye civies vanished, and a suit of iron chainmail armor replaced them. “About time we had some action, though I wish this wasn’t such a low-level zone. I haven’t faced a challenge in months.”
Ari peered down at the dwarf. “It’s the most advanced zone in the area. Any further from Brightwind and the system would pull Tasha from our party. We’d lose access to Tasha’s rapid-leveling buff. Trust me. This is the best place for us to level.”
Pan’s father Ari was the de facto leader of their group. A level 38 pugilist, he was a master of unarmed combat. He wore a white martial artist uniform lined with red stripes, and a red headband partially obstructed his dark pointy hair. “Everyone”—Ari pulled his hands together like an orchestra conductor—“get into your usual formation. No needless risks.”
Due to Ari’s ability to deal damage quickly and the dwarven prince’s capacity for absorbing abuse while drawing aggro, the pair formed their group’s frontline.
Their fourth member was Sir Slimon, a slimish paladin and knight of the kingdom of Questgivria. A small glowing core that comprised his nervous system lay within the large blob of mucus that was his body—though he could manipulate the mucus to move and perform actions. Like all slimes, he fought using tentacles and equipped no weapons or armor. The only healer of the group, he remained in the back with Pan.
Overhead, the young dragon Kaze flew in low, tight circles above the gathering. Kaze was a steam dragon who’d joined their party and been a close childhood friend of Hermes and Slimon.
She tapped one of the quickslots on the HUD that floated just within her vision, and her crossbow appeared in her hand. She’d purchased a rifle several months prior, but its level restrictions prevented her from wielding it. Due to her recent class change to Summoner, her level was much lower than it had been.
They maintained their formation and proceeded forward slowly, as the mist grew more opaque with every step. After several steps, the mist gathered to a central point just in front of them, then coalesced into a single large creature. Leaves flew into the air, displaced from where the rest of the mob was spawning. Pan focused on the creature and its scan information appeared in a small floating blue box just within her periphery.
Jabberwock (Level 47 - quest spawn)Bringer of death and devourer of the weak. Flee now, lest you become part of the Jabberwock’s balanced breakfast.
ATK 71
Mag ATK 51
DEF 36
Mag DEF 30
Weaknesses: none
Resistances: Fire, Lightning, Earth, Poison
Special ability 1: Rage
Special ability 2: Drain Mana
Special ability 3: Dismiss Summon
Special ability 4: Gravity
The mist had coalesced into an enormous catlike beast that had the wings of a bat. Half a dozen tentacles spread from the construct’s sides. Pan drew a breath and backpedaled. Months ago, this same mob killed Hermes and scattered their party, exposing Pan’s secret and endangering her friendship with Tasha.
Such a high-level mist monster shouldn’t have spawned in a low-level zone. She’d psyched herself up for an easy win and wasn’t prepared for the life-or-death struggle this mob represented.
Forty small heart containers appeared above the monster, arranged in four rows of ten, indicating the monster’s remaining health.
A quest message appeared in the air:
Quest: Revisitation of the Jabberwock
Gain revenge upon the monster who had killed one of you and broke your fellowship
Conditions for success: Kill the Jabberwock
Reward: 1900 XP
Conditions for failure: All party members are killed or the party flees from combat
A high-intensity, operatic musical number replaced the normal combat music. Rapid drum-beats rose in volume before they soared to a mighty crescendo as the main orchestra joined in.
The Jabberwock let out a fearsome roar that vibrated the ground beneath Pan’s feet. The pungent stink of sulfur filled her nostrils as the creature paced back and forth, leaving blackened earth wherever its hooves touched the grass. It never took its gaze off the party, as the beast’s action timer began to fill. Mist monsters performed special actions only once their action timers were full.
“I don’t think we can win this,” said Hermes. “Last time we had two more party members, and the rest of you lot barely survived. I wasn’t so lucky.”
“You wanted a challenge,” Ari said.
“I say a lot of silly things. You should know better than to listen to me. Let’s get out of here while there’s still time.”
“Pfffpt.” Slimon indicated his agreement.
The pugilist placed his hand on the dwarf’s shoulder. “Don’t worry friend. This won’t be like last time. We know all its attacks and how it fights. This time, we’ll kill it with no losses.”
The monster’s action timer approached full, leaving little time to act. Ari addressed the slime. “Cast Reflect on it so it can’t cast rage on itself.”
“Pfffpt!” Slimon chanted as a white glow surrounded him. An arc of magic traveled from him to the beast. As it hit the Jabberwock, a “Reflect” symbol appeared beside the creature’s name on Pan’s heads-up display.
Ari beckoned to the steam dragon circling overhead. “Kaze!” he called. “Take to the skies! Quickly now. Get out of range of its Gravity ability.”
Kaze quickly flapped his wings, gaining elevation.
Jabberwock (Level 47) invokes Gravity
The gravity effect was localized around the mob, so by the time it hit, it didn’t affect the airborne dragon. Everyone else staggered from the increased pull of the ground beneath. Pan lost her balance and fell, then struggled back to her feet, though she stood on shaking knees.
Ari scanned the landscape for somewhere they could take cover. He pointed to an outcropping of grassy terrain in the near distance. “Lead the Jabberwock to that outcropping. We’ll take cover beneath it when the Jabberwock uses Firestorm. I don’t think it’ll use its dismiss summon ability until it’s low on health, but if it does, focus on dealing as much damage as possible. We know its attacks and can predict its movement. Let’s do this.”
“Wh…what about me?” Pan asked.
“Keep your distance and heal us with consumables, but not too often. Whatever you do, don’t draw aggro. At your level, it would only take a single good hit from that creature to finish you.”
“Got it, Ari.”
“Don’t call me that—it’s Dad.” He gave her a stern nod.
The Jabberwock lashed at Hermes with two of its front tentacles, but the dwarf had taken a defensive stance, blocking the tentacles with his gun arm. As soon as he recovered, his gun arm’s barrel spun and tracers streamed toward the catlike beast who darted from one position to another. The Jabberwock’s heart containers pulsed each time a round slammed into it, sometimes dropping by a quarter container at a time.
Kaze made multiple flyby attacks, unleashing narrow jets of steam at the beast as he passed, yet never staying in range long enough for the monster to reach him with a second gravity attack, should the monster cast it again. Each of Kaze’s successful hits stole over a heart container’s worth of health from the creature.
Once Hermes was forced to reload, Ari invoked Stone Fist, increasing the damage he dealt with his hands. He rapidly jabbed at the creature several times, dealing fractional damage.
The Jabberwock darted from place to place, attacking with rapid swipes or biting attacks whenever its action timer filled. When any ally got too low, Slimon used recovery magic to heal.
Jabberwock (Level 47) invokes Rage
The monster’s rage ability bounced off the reflection spell Slimon had cast at the beginning of the battle, then rebounded to Hermes, who received the rage debuff originally meant for the mob itself. To signify he was the carrier of the rage debuff, the dwarf’s eyes took on a bright red glow.
A rage debuff increased a target’s combat damage, but also compelled that target to perform no action other than physical attacks. A boon for melee types, it served as a critical weakness for casters.
Under the debuff’s influence, Hermes maintained a steady stream of machine-gun fire, stopping only long enough to reload. The gunfire was much more effective than it had been before the debuff, and the Jabberwock’s heart containers pulsed like a drumbeat in time to each round, dropping by a quarter heart at every bullet strike.
