CPC-02. Couch Potato Crisis, page 2
part #2 of Couch Potato Chronicles Series
Mara walked forward hesitantly. Another pressure plate trap lay in the center of a long corridor. She approached and, with a modicum of hesitation, stepped onto it. There was another click. This time, instead of crushing weights coming from either side, the floor fell out from beneath her, opening up to a deep pit filled with spikes. Mara screamed and reached out to grab the trap’s sidewall, but there wasn’t enough grip. “Help! I’m going to fall!”
Fin darted toward her and reached down, but she was too far away. Another elf held his other hand, keeping him from falling in. He lowered himself, climbing down the side of the pit until he took her arm. Several elves worked together to pull them back to the relative safety of the dungeon floor.
“That’s disappointing,” said Penelope. “You shouldn’t let your slaves act on their own, Marnie. Why not kill one of ‘em to send a message to the others?”
He chuckled. “It’s fine. It would be inconvenient to run out of elves before we reached the end.”
They continued through the first floor. The monster population was light in this dungeon and mainly consisted of lizardman grunts and shamans. Short, verging on squat, the grunts had thick green skin, wore simple loincloths, and wielded weapons ranging from short swords to halberds. The shamans were elderly, frail, and adorned with skull amulets. Those were easy to kill, but they kept their distance, relying on magic missile spells. Caymie focused on the casters so the others could take down the front-line mobs. The monsters would have been challenging for Marnie and Caymie alone but proved little challenge with the addition of the barbarian and healer.
Though the monsters were few, the preponderance of traps was high.
Some traps they avoided, but many others required Marnie to sacrifice an elf to disarm it. Fin knew each and every one of the victims. Many were his friends, people who comforted him when all other joy had left him. He mourned for each. They’d resurrect, but their personalities would be forever changed. The people he knew were gone forever.
By the time they reached the stairs to the second dungeon, they’d lost an additional two elves, reducing their number to seven.
The second floor was much the same. The hours passed, and Fin followed with Mara at a safe distance. He was called upon once to disarm a plate trap, but avoided the shooting needles it unleashed.
Shortly after they reached the stairs to the third floor, Gunther spoke up. “Marnie, let’s stop now. It’s past dinnertime and if I don’t eat something soon, I might become testy.”
Marnie nodded and they found an open area to set up dinner. Marnie removed some cheeseburgers from his inventory and handed them to the other three humans. Fin’s stomach growled, but he was afraid to approach his master to ask for food. Eventually, he wasn’t able to take the hunger anymore, so he stepped forward.
“Master Marnie. Do you have any food for us? None of us have eaten since breakfast.”
Marnie stared at him. “What’s the point in feeding you when you’ll probably just die anyway?”
His wife said, “You forgot to bring food for the slaves, didn’t you?”
“No, I’m just being practical.”
Gunther took another big bite of his cheeseburger and washed it down with a strawberry milkshake. “Just hurry up and feed the elves. Their whining is insufferable.”
“Fine.” Marnie removed a large pot filled with a cold, thick porridge from his inventory. Each of the elves removed a small wooden bowl from their inventories and he filled them up. There was no silverware; slaves were expected to eat with their hands. “Enjoy.” He shrugged. “At least you’ll die on a full stomach.”
That was an exaggeration, if not an outright lie. Slaves were never given enough to fill their bellies. Penelope giggled as she ate a curly fry.
Fin gritted his teeth. This cold porridge was the only thing most elves in Zhakara were ever allowed to eat. It was called gnome’s gruel. Nobody but the gnomes were able to palette the grimy, bitter substance.
Thick and high-calorie, gnome’s gruel was inexpensive to mass-produce. Zhakarans considered it the perfect foodstuff for keeping their slaves alive and productive.
Fin shoveled food from the bowl into his mouth with his fingers. He hated that the humans never fed them real food and that they treated his kind with less kindness than they treated their animals. He loathed the way they spoke to him. The older elves had grown used to it, and Mara had never known anything better, but he still pined constantly for home.
He looked up from his gnome’s gruel to see Penelope leaning down to speak with him. She whispered, “I see the hate reflected in your eyes, elf. Be careful. Marnie is going to kill you. He’s going to kill your sister, and there’s nothing you can do to stop him unless you kill him first. Should you do it, wait until he’s not looking and push him into one of those traps.”
He stared at her. “Why tell me this?”
She smiled. “All chaos glorifies Lord Entropy. You die, he dies, I die, it’s all for the glory of my master. As long as there is conflict, that’s all Lord Entropy cares about. Think about it. Marnie will kill you all, because if you die, he doesn’t need to feed you and his rental contract will end once you respawn. Kill him before he kills you. Just think about what I said.”
“Quit messing with the livestock!” Marnie yelled. Penelope stood up and returned to join them.
After eating, they continued through the third floor, searching for the elusive dungeon room. Marnie sacrificed three more elves to disarm traps, leaving only four remaining. Besides Fin and Mara, there was a high elven man named Cerribor and a dark elven woman named Ruenath.
When they reached the large dungeon room door, Marnie cracked it and peered inside, before closing it and stepping back. “I saw the boss through the door—some sort of lizardman—and it has one add, a smaller lizardman.”
“Should we discuss strategy?” asked Caymie.
“What’s to discuss?” Gunther asked. “It’s a boss. We just hit it with large, heavy weapons until it dies. If it follows an attack pattern, we won’t know until we see it in action.”
Marnie turned to the slaves. “Listen up, slaves. The boss has a supporting monster, I want you to keep it busy while we kill the main boss.”
Fin spoke without thinking. “But we don’t have any weapons.”
Caymie said, “Of course you don’t.”
Marnie said, “I didn’t tell you to kill its support, just keep it busy. You can do that without weapons. While it's killing you, we’ll take out the main. No need to make this complicated.”
Penelope mouthed “I told you so” at Fin without making any sound.
Marnie moved to open the boss door, but Gunther stopped him. “Wait. There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask. Something...doesn’t seem right about this.”
“What’s that?” said Marnie.
“It’s about the dungeon reward.”
“What about it?”
“When we entered, the description said that whoever touches the skill scroll the boss drops would receive an exotic-tier ability.”
Marnie narrowed his eyes. “What’s your point?”
“We agreed to split the profits four ways. If it were a treasure or object, we would be able to sell it and split the money between us. But since the reward is an ability, there’s no way to divide it evenly.”
Marnie and Caymie shared a look.
Penelope, however, burst out laughing. “Oh my!” She slowly clapped. “You just figured that out? Stupid Gunther! I realized it right away.”
“Yet you said nothing?”
“Had I, our adventure would have ended, and this is far more interesting.”
Gunther snarled. “You never had any intention of sharing the treasure, did you?”
He raised his heavy axe and prepared to swing at Marnie. Caymie drew an arrow with a green head into her bow and shot it directly at the barbarian’s right eye before the large man could react. Gunther covered his right eye as blood ran between his fingers down his arm. The arrow’s paralysis debuff set in, and Gunther collapsed. “My eye! You shot me in the eye!”
“That was for calling me a shrew!” shrieked Caymie. She drew a dagger and sliced the barbarian’s throat and the life drained from the stronger man.
At the same time, Marnie drew his pistol and took aim at Penelope. “Nothing personal. This is just business.”
Penelope watched in wide-eyed anticipation as Marnie shot her four times in the abdomen. She fell and writhed, leaving bloodstains on the cold stone floor. Tears fell from her eyes.
“It hurts! I'm dying and it hurts! Thank you so much, Marnie, I love this! It hurts so much…. So beautiful….” As she died, her grateful eyes stared directly at Marnie.
The cleric and barbarian both lay dead. Caymie glared at her husband. “Well that’s just great, now we’ve lost our healer. How are we supposed to kill the boss without a healer?”
Marnie said, “We couldn’t trust her. She would have betrayed us if only for the glory of her Lord. We’ve both got healing potions. They’re not as effective as a dedicated healer, but we can make do.”
He turned to the four elves. “Don’t forget your role. Keep the add busy so we can take out the main boss. Don’t mess this up, slaves.”
He opened the door and entered the room with his wife. Fin was afraid, but things would be even worse if they disobeyed a direct order from a human. It seemed inevitable he and Mara would die. It had been a long time since his last resurrection, and he wasn’t excited about the prospect.
He stepped toward the room, but Mara’s hand grasped his tattered sleeve.
Fin set his jaw. “We have to go in. If we don’t, the humans will punish us.”
“I’ll die.”
“You’ve never died before?”
She shook her head. “I know I’ll come back to life, but… I’m afraid.”
“You’re right. One way or another we’ll die, but you have to be brave.”
He squeezed her hand. “After you die, when you get to the dark place, don’t try to breathe. You’ll want to, but you won’t have to anymore. That was the hardest part for me when I died for the first time. Focus on your happiest thoughts, and when you come back to life, I’ll be waiting on the other side.”
“Don’t breathe,” Mara repeated.
They entered the chamber together. Unlike the rest of the dungeon, the boss room had its own torches set into pillars. Decorative spears hung on the walls. It was an immense chamber with several pillars for support. A small transparent platform in the middle of the room had a logo showing an icon representing the sun.
He directed his attention to the boss monster, a large lizardman. Though it was a creature with an elvenoid body, it had scales, teeth, claws, and other lizard-like qualities. It held a halberd with a length at least twice as it was tall, and its level was 34. Fin and the other elves were all level 1. A single hit from a creature that powerful would kill any of them.
There was a second, smaller creature in the room, another less imposing lizardman. This one was level 11, still ten levels higher than Fin. Unlike the boss, it wielded a long knife.
“What do we do?” asked Mara.
“We fight,” said Ruenath. The dark elf removed four of the decorative spears from the wall and passed them to Cerribor, Fingaerion, and Mara.
Fin took the spear and felt its weight. It was light, and while the end was sharp, how much damage would it do against either of the lizardman bosses? He scanned the smaller of the two mobs.
Mangry The Hangry (Level 11)
Subboss of Undercaves of Craghorn Mountain.
ATK 22
Mag ATK 0
DEF 7
Mag DEF 15
Fifteen heart containers appeared above the monster.
Cerribor said, “I don’t know about you, but I’m not going to let it kill me without a fight. Watch its movements. Be patient and don’t strike until you’ve studied its patterns.”
Fin nodded. “It has an attack of 22, but I only have a defense of 5. One direct hit will kill any of us.”
“Then don’t get hit.” Ruenath handed a spear to Mara, who lifted it without difficulty.
“What are you idiots doing?” demanded Marnie. “Pull the sub-boss!”
Fin picked up a small rock and threw it at Mangry. The lizard turned and scrambled toward the gathered elves. Cerribor and Ruenath spread out to either side. Mara and Fin held their spears toward the incoming lizardman to keep it at bay.
The monster’s action timer filled rapidly in Fin’s HUD. Once it was full, the lizardman crouched and launched at Fin. His outstretched spear slid right off the creature’s plate armor, leaving a small mark, but it did no other damage. Its heart container pulsed but didn’t drop.
The spear redirected the lizardman’s attack to the side, and Cerribor and Ruenath hit the creature with successive attacks, bringing it down one heart container. “One down, fourteen to go,” Fin muttered.
Mangry’s attack counter had already refilled, and this time it went after Mara, who promptly dropped her spear and ran. It turned out to be the right move since it bought the other three elves room to hit it with a barrage of stabbing attacks. By the time it gave up pursuit, it had been reduced to 11 heart containers. Mara picked up her spear from where she’d dropped it as soon as the enemy stopped chasing her.
Its action timer filled at a rapid pace, allowing them few opportunities to strike. Fin used the spear to keep a safe distance from the sub-boss. He risked a glance at their human masters, who were holding their own against the dungeon boss.
He mentally noted each of the monster’s attacks. There was the one where it leaped into the air and stabbed downward. Before it pulled off that move, it would telegraph by leaping back and crouching, making the attack easy to avoid.
The other common attack was a barrage of knife stabs. Fin hadn’t figured out the monster’s tell for this move but was able to avoid it by keeping his distance.
The first time it threw its large knife, it was a surprise. The lizardman held its knife by the blade and threw it directly into Ruenath’s chest, killing her instantly. The sub-boss produced an identical knife and continued the attack.
The three remaining elves had reduced its health to only four heart containers, but Fin’s arm grew tired from the constant battle and he made a mistake. After thrusting the spear into the lizardman’s now quite damaged armor, it slipped from his grip and fell to the floor.
Mangry the lizardman capitalized on that opportunity by targeting him with a barrage of stabs. Earlier, Fin had felt safe from that attack, since the length of his spear kept the monster at a distance. Seeing the younger elf in trouble, Cerribor tackled the lizardman, interrupting its attack on Fingaerion. Cerribor pummeled the enemy with his bare fists, reducing it to two heart containers, but the monster freed its arm and stabbed Cerribor in the neck, killing him.
While the beast was still prone, Fin scrambled to retrieve his spear. He and Mara each stabbed the lizardman repeatedly until they drained the last of its heart containers. Defeated, Mangry faded into purple mist.
Fin collapsed, exhausted. Before he’d been enslaved, he’d participated in boss battles much more difficult than this one, but he’d been able to assign stat points and was given suitable equipment. Killing a level 11 monster with only four level 1 unarmed fighters stood as a significant achievement.
Marnie and Caymie finished off the dungeon boss at just about the same time as Fin’s victory. As the larger lizardman dissolved into purple mist, a scroll floated above the altar in the center of the room. Marnie and Caymie were below a third of their remaining heart containers.
Marnie lit a cigarette. “Hah! What did I tell you? Good idea, right?”
Caymie scanned it. Fin dropped his spear to the cold stone floor and approached, scanning it as well.
Reverse Stat Shuffle (1/20) - Classless Skill
Temporarily adjust an enemy target’s stat points for two minutes. The target receives a temporary bonus of 30% to their total stat count which must be added to the total allocation. No stat may be lowered beyond 20% of what it was originally. Once the skill ends, the target’s original stat points are restored. Higher-level versions of this skill have longer durations and a reduced stat bonus for the target.
Can be used once per calendar day.
Caymie said, “I hate to admit it, but you made the right choice—for once. A combat ability like this would be invaluable. It’s like the ultimate debuff. I could use it to kill much higher level enemies.”
Marnie rubbed his hands together. “If I’d had an ability like this, I could have soloed the boss on my own.”
His wife scoffed. “Don’t be so full of yourself. I carried you in that fight, and we both know it.”
Caymie stepped toward the scroll.
“What do ya think yer doing, woman? That ability is mine. I didn’t come all this way just to see it given to someone who doesn’t even need it.”
Caymie laughed. “Moron. My higher level means that I should get it. I’m in a position to properly use it. Look at you, barely above level 15, and your class is meant for tracking and stealth, not combat.”
Marnie grabbed his wife’s arms. “Why should you get it? You always get the best of everything. Best armor, best weapons, and for what? Just because yer a higher level? Yer not laying a hand on that scroll. It’s mine, I tell ya!”
His wife shoved him to the ground where he landed on his butt. “I’d never give anything of quality to a wastrel like you.” She turned back to the altar and climbed the steps.
Marnie seethed with rage as he got to his feet. He drew his sidearm and took aim at his wife. “Step away from the scroll, Caymie. I’m warning you!”
In the blink of an eye, Caymie had drawn her bow and knocked an arrow. “Put that gun away. The scroll is mine. You’re just embarrassing yourself.”
“Damn it!” Marnie cursed and lowered his gun.
Caymie turned and reached out toward the scroll. In a fit of rage, Marnie raised the pistol and shot her in the back three times. The bullets traveled right through her, leaving blood splatters in the wall behind her.
