Collected Works of Zane Grey, page 339
“An’ shore, miss,” he had concluded, in a hoarse whisper, “we-all know you ain’t Kells’s wife. Thet bandit wouldn’t marry no woman. He’s a woman-hater. He was famous fer thet over in California. He’s run off with you — kidnapped you, thet’s shore.... An’ Gulden swears he shot his own men an’ was in turn shot by you. Thet bullet-hole in his back was full of powder. There’s liable to be a muss-up any time.... Shore, miss, you’d better sneak off with me tonight when they’re all asleep. I’ll git grub an’ hosses, an’ take you off to some prospector’s camp. Then you can git home.”
Joan only shook her head. Even if she could have felt trust in Wood — and she was of half a mind to believe him — it was too late. Whatever befell her mattered little if in suffering it she could save Jim Cleve from the ruin she had wrought.
Since this wild experience of Joan’s had begun she had been sick so many times with raw and naked emotions hitherto unknown to her, that she believed she could not feel another new fear or torture. But these strange sensations grew by what they had been fed upon.
The man called Frenchy, was audacious, persistent, smiling, amorous-eyed, and rudely gallant. He cared no more for his companions than if they had not been there. He vied with Pearce in his attention, and the two of them discomfited the others. The situation might have been amusing had it not been so terrible. Always the portent was a shadow behind their interest and amiability and jealousy. Except for that one abrupt and sinister move of Gulden’s — that of a natural man beyond deceit — there was no word, no look, no act at which Joan could have been offended. They were joking, sarcastic, ironical, and sullen in their relation to each other; but to Joan each one presented what was naturally or what he considered his kindest and most friendly front. A young and attractive woman had dropped into the camp of lonely wild men; and in their wild hearts was a rebirth of egotism, vanity, hunger for notice. They seemed as foolish as a lot of cock grouse preening themselves and parading before a single female. Surely in some heart was born real brotherhood for a helpless girl in peril. Inevitably in some of them would burst a flame of passion as it had in Kells.
Between this amiable contest for Joan’s glances and replies, with its possibility of latent good to her, and the dark, lurking, unspoken meaning, such as lay in Gulden’s brooding, Joan found another new and sickening torture.
“Say, Frenchy, you’re no lady’s man,” declared Red Pearce, “an’ you, Bate, you’re too old. Move — pass by — sashay!” Pearce, good-naturedly, but deliberately, pushed the two men back.
“Shore she’s Kells’s lady, ain’t she?” drawled Wood. “Ain’t you all forgettin’ thet?”
“Kells is asleep or dead,” replied Pearce, and he succeeded in getting the field to himself.
“Where’d you meet Kells anyway?” he asked Joan, with his red face bending near hers.
Joan had her part to play. It was difficult, because she divined Pearce’s curiosity held a trap to catch her in a falsehood. He knew — they all knew she was not Kells’s wife. But if she were a prisoner she seemed a willing and contented one. The query that breathed in Pearce’s presence was how was he to reconcile the fact of her submission with what he and his comrades had potently felt as her goodness?
“That doesn’t concern anybody,” replied Joan.
“Reckon not,” said Pearce. Then he leaned nearer with intense face. “What I want to know — is Gulden right? Did you shoot Kells?”
In the dusk Joan reached back and clasped Kells hand.
For a man as weak and weary as he had been, it was remarkable how quickly a touch awakened him. He lifted his head.
“Hello! Who’s that?” he called out, sharply.
Pearce rose guardedly, startled, but not confused. “It’s only me, boss,” he replied. “I was about to turn in, an’ I wanted to know how you are — if I could do anythin’.”
“I’m all right, Red,” replied Kells, coolly. “Clear out and let me alone. All of you.”
Pearce moved away with an amiable good-night and joined the others at the camp-fire. Presently they sought their blankets, leaving Gulden hunching there silent in the gloom.
“Joan, why did you wake me?” whispered Kells.
“Pearce asked me if I shot you,” replied Joan. “I woke you instead of answering him.”
“He did!” exclaimed Kells under his breath. Then he laughed. “Can’t fool that gang. I guess it doesn’t matter. Maybe it’d be well if they knew you shot me.”
He appeared thoughtful, and lay there with the fading flare of the fire on his pale face. But he did not speak again. Presently he fell asleep.
Joan leaned back, within reach of him, with her head in her saddle, and pulling a blanket up over her, relaxed her limbs to rest. Sleep seemed the furthest thing from her. She wondered that she dared to think of it. The night had grown chilly; the wind was sweeping with low roar through the balsams; the fire burned dull and red. Joan watched the black, shapeless hulk that she knew to be Gulden. For a long time he remained motionless. By and by he moved, approached the fire, stood one moment in the dying ruddy glow, his great breadth and bulk magnified, with all about him vague and shadowy, but the more sinister for that. The cavernous eyes were only black spaces in that vast face, yet Joan saw them upon her. He lay down then among the other men and soon his deep and heavy breathing denoted the tranquil slumber of an ox.
For hours through changing shadows and starlight Joan lay awake, while a thousand thoughts besieged her, all centering round that vital and compelling one of Jim Cleve.
Only upon awakening, with the sun in her face, did Joan realize that she had actually slept.
The camp was bustling with activity. The horses were in, fresh and quarrelsome, with ears laid back. Kells was sitting upon a rock near the fire with a cup of coffee in his hand. He was looking better. When he greeted Joan his voice sounded stronger. She walked by Pearce and Frenchy and Gulden on her way to the brook, but they took no notice of her. Bate Wood, however, touched his sombrero and said: “Mornin’, miss.” Joan wondered if her memory of the preceding night were only a bad dream. There was a different atmosphere by daylight, and it was dominated by Kells. Presently she returned to camp refreshed and hungry. Gulden was throwing a pack, which action he performed with ease and dexterity. Pearce was cinching her saddle. Kells was talking, more like his old self than at any time since his injury.
Soon they were on the trail. For Joan time always passed swiftly on horseback. Movement and changing scene were pleasurable to her. The passing of time now held a strange expectancy, a mingled fear and hope and pain, for at the end of this trail was Jim Cleve. In other days she had flouted him, made fun of him, dominated him, everything except loved and feared him. And now she was assured of her love and almost convinced of her fear. The reputation these wild bandits gave Jim was astounding and inexplicable to Joan. She rode the miles thinking of Jim, dreading to meet him, longing to see him, and praying and planning for him.
About noon the cavalcade rode out of the mouth of a canon into a wide valley, surrounded by high, rounded foot-hills. Horses and cattle were grazing on the green levels. A wide, shallow, noisy stream split the valley. Joan could tell from the tracks at the crossing that this place, whatever and wherever it was, saw considerable travel; and she concluded the main rendezvous of the bandits was close at hand.
The pack drivers led across the stream and the valley to enter an intersecting ravine. It was narrow, rough-sided, and floored, but the trail was good. Presently it opened out into a beautiful V-shaped gulch, very different from the high-walled, shut-in canons. It had a level floor, through which a brook flowed, and clumps of spruce and pine, with here and there a giant balsam. Huge patches of wild flowers gave rosy color to the grassy slopes. At the upper end of this gulch Joan saw a number of widely separated cabins. This place, then, was Cabin Gulch.
Upon reaching the first cabin the cavalcade split up. There were men here who hallooed a welcome. Gulden halted with his pack-horse. Some of the others rode on. Wood drove other pack-animals off to the right, up the gentle slope. And Red Pearce, who was beside Kells, instructed Joan to follow them. They rode up to a bench of straggling spruce-trees, in the midst of which stood a large log cabin. It was new, as in fact all the structures in the Gulch appeared to be, and none of them had seen a winter. The chinks between the logs were yet open. This cabin was of the rudest make of notched logs one upon another, and roof of brush and earth. It was low and flat, but very long, and extending before the whole of it was a porch roof supported by posts. At one end was a corral. There were doors and windows with nothing in them. Upon the front wall, outside, hung saddles and bridles.
Joan had a swift, sharp gaze for the men who rose from their lounging to greet the travelers. Jim Cleve was not among them. Her heart left her throat then, and she breathed easier. How could she meet him?
Kells was in better shape than at noon of the preceding day. Still, he had to be lifted off his horse. Joan heard all the men talking at once. They crowded round Pearce, each lending a hand. However, Kells appeared able to walk into the cabin. It was Bate Wood who led Joan inside.
There was a long room, with stone fireplace, rude benches and a table, skins and blankets on the floor, and lanterns and weapons on the wall. At one end Joan saw a litter of cooking utensils and shelves of supplies.
Suddenly Kells’s impatient voice silenced the clamor of questions. “I’m not hurt,” he said. “I’m all right — only weak and tired. Fellows, this girl is my wife.... Joan, you’ll find a room there — at the back of the cabin. Make yourself comfortable.”
Joan was only too glad to act upon his suggestion. A door had been cut through the back wall. It was covered with a blanket. When she swept this aside she came upon several steep steps that led up to a smaller, lighter cabin of two rooms, separated by a partition of boughs. She dropped the blanket behind her and went up the steps. Then she saw that the new cabin had been built against an old one. It had no door or opening except the one by which she had entered. It was light because the chinks between the logs were open. The furnishings were a wide bench of boughs covered with blankets, a shelf with a blurred and cracked mirror hanging above it, a table made of boxes, and a lantern. This room was four feet higher than the floor of the other cabin. And at the bottom of the steps leaned a half-dozen slender trimmed poles. She gathered presently that these poles were intended to be slipped under crosspieces above and fastened by a bar below, which means effectually barricaded the opening. Joan could stand at the head of the steps and peep under an edge of the swinging blanket into the large room, but that was the only place she could see through, for the openings between the logs of each wall were not level. These quarters were comfortable, private, and could be shut off from intruders. Joan had not expected so much consideration from Kells and she was grateful.
She lay down to rest and think. It was really very pleasant here. There were birds nesting in the chinks; a ground squirrel ran along one of the logs and chirped at her; through an opening near her face she saw a wild rose-bush and the green slope of the gulch; a soft, warm, fragrant breeze blew in, stirring her hair. How strange that there could be beautiful and pleasant things here in this robber den; that time was the same here as elsewhere; that the sun shone and the sky gleamed blue. Presently she discovered that a lassitude weighted upon her and she could not keep her eyes open. She ceased trying, but intended to remain awake — to think, to listen, to wait. Nevertheless, she did fall asleep and did not awaken till disturbed by some noise. The color of the western sky told her that the afternoon was far spent. She had slept hours. Someone was knocking. She got up and drew aside the blanket. Bate Wood was standing near the door.
“Now, miss, I’ve supper ready,” he said, “an’ I was reckonin’ you’d like me to fetch yours.”
“Yes, thank you, I would,” replied Joan.
In a few moments Wood returned carrying the top of a box upon which were steaming pans and cups. He handed this rude tray up to Joan.
“Shore I’m a first-rate cook, miss, when I’ve somethin’ to cook,” he said with a smile that changed his hard face.
She returned the smile with her thanks. Evidently Kells had a well-filled larder, and as Joan had fared on coarse and hard food for long, this supper was a luxury and exceedingly appetizing. While she was eating, the blanket curtain moved aside and Kells appeared. He dropped it behind him, but did not step up into the room. He was in his shirt-sleeves, had been clean shaven, and looked a different man.
“How do you like your — home?” he inquired, with a hint of his former mockery.
“I’m grateful for the privacy,” she replied.
“You think you could be worse off, then?”
“I know it.”
“Suppose Gulden kills me — and rules the gang — and takes you?... There’s a story about him, the worst I’ve heard on this border. I’ll tell you some day when I want to scare you bad.”
“Gulden!” Joan shivered as she pronounced the name. “Are you and he enemies?”
“No man can have a friend on this border. We flock together like buzzards. There’s safety in numbers, but we fight together, like buzzards over carrion.”
“Kells, you hate this life?”
“I’ve always hated my life, everywhere. The only life I ever loved was adventure.... I’m willing to try a new one, if you’ll go with me.”
Joan shook her head.
“Why not? I’ll marry you,” he went on, speaking lower. “I’ve got gold; I’ll get more.”
“Where did you get the gold?” she asked
“I’ve relieved a good many overburdened travelers and prospectors,” he replied.
“Kells, you’re a — a villain!” exclaimed Joan, unable to contain her sudden heat. “You must be utterly mad — to ask me to marry you.”
“No, I’m not mad,” he rejoined, with a laugh. “Gulden’s the mad one. He’s crazy. He’s got a twist in his brain. I’m no fool.... I’ve only lost my head over you. But compare marrying me, living and traveling among decent people and comfort, to camps like this. If I don’t get drunk I’ll be half decent to you. But I’ll get shot sooner or later. Then you’ll be left to Gulden.”
“Why do you say HIM?” she queried, in a shudder of curiosity.
“Well, Gulden haunts me.”
“He does me, too. He makes me lose my sense of proportion. Beside him you and the others seem good. But you ARE wicked.”
“Then you won’t marry me and go away somewhere?... Your choice is strange. Because I tell you the truth.”
“Kells! I’m a woman. Something deep in me says you won’t keep me here — you can’t be so base. Not now, after I saved your life! It would be horrible — inhuman. I can’t believe any man born of a woman could do it.”
“But I want you — I love you!” he said, low and hard.
“Love! That’s not love,” she replied in scorn. “God only knows what it is.”
“Call it what you like,” he went on, bitterly. “You’re a young, beautiful, sweet woman. It’s wonderful to be near you. My life has been hell. I’ve had nothing. There’s only hell to look forward to — and hell at the end. Why shouldn’t I keep you here?”
“But, Kells, listen,” she whispered, earnestly, “suppose I am young and beautiful and sweet — as you said. I’m utterly in your power. I’m compelled to seek your protection from even worse men. You’re different from these others. You’re educated. You must have had — a — a good mother. Now you’re bitter, desperate, terrible. You hate life. You seem to think this charm you see in me will bring you something. Maybe a glimpse of joy! But how can it? You know better. How can it... unless I — I love you?”
Kells stared at her, the evil and hardness of his passion corded in his face. And the shadows of comprehending thought in his strange eyes showed the other side of the man. He was still staring at her while he reached to put aside the curtains; then he dropped his head and went out.
Joan sat motionless, watching the door where he had disappeared, listening to the mounting beats of her heart. She had only been frank and earnest with Kells. But he had taken a meaning from her last few words that she had not intended to convey. All that was woman in her — mounting, righting, hating — leaped to the power she sensed in herself. If she could be deceitful, cunning, shameless in holding out to Kells a possible return of his love, she could do anything with him. She knew it. She did not need to marry him or sacrifice herself. Joan was amazed that the idea remained an instant before her consciousness. But something had told her this was another kind of life than she had known, and all that was precious to her hung in the balance. Any falsity was justifiable, even righteous, under the circumstances. Could she formulate a plan that this keen bandit would not see through? The remotest possibility of her even caring for Kells — that was as much as she dared hint. But that, together with all the charm and seductiveness she could summon, might be enough. Dared she try it? If she tried and failed Kells would despise her, and then she was utterly lost. She was caught between doubt and hope. All that was natural and true in her shrank from such unwomanly deception; all that had been born of her wild experience inflamed her to play the game, to match Kells’s villainy with a woman’s unfathomable duplicity.
