Collected Works of Zane Grey, page 1468
“Helen, don’t you say a word against Mel Iden,” burst out Margaret, hotly. “She was my dearest friend. She was lovely. Her ruin was a horrible shock. But it wasn’t because she was bad.... Mel had some fanatical notion about soldiers giving all — going away to be slaughtered. She said to me, ‘A woman’s body is so little to give,’”
“Yes, I know Mel was cracked,” replied Helen. “But she needn’t have been a damn fool. She didn’t need to have had that baby!”
“Helen, your idea of sin is to be found out,” said Elinor, with satire.
Again Floss Dickerson dropped her trenchant personality into the breach.
“Aw, come off!” she ejaculated. “Let somebody roast the men once, will you? I’m the little Jane that knows, believe me. All this talk about the girls going to hell makes me sick. We may be going — and going in limousines — but it’s the men who’re stepping on the gas.”
“Floss, I love to hear you elocute,” drawled Helen. “Go to it! For God’s sake, roast the men.”
“You always have to horn in,” retorted Floss. “Let me get this off my chest, will you?... We girls are getting talked about. There’s no use denying it. Any but a blind girl could see it. And it’s because we do what the men want. Every girl wants to go out — to be attractive — to have fellows. But the price is getting high. They say in Middleville that I’m rushed more than any other girl. Well, if I am I know what it costs.... If I didn’t ‘pet’ — if I didn’t mush, if I didn’t park my corsets at dances — if I didn’t drink and smoke, and wiggle like a jelly-fish, I’d be a dead one — an egg, and don’t you overlook that. If any one says I want to do these things he’s a fool. But I do love to have good times, and little by little I’ve been drawn on and on.... I’ve had my troubles staving off these fellows. Most of them get half drunk. Some of the girls do, too. I never went that far. I always kept my head. I never went the limit. But you can bet your sweet life it wasn’t their fault I didn’t fall for them.... I’ll say I’ve had to walk home from more than one auto ride. There’s something in the gag, ‘I know she’s a good girl because I met her walking home from an auto ride.’ That’s one thing I intend to cut out this summer — the auto rides. Nothing doing for little Flossie!”
“Oh, can’t we talk of something else!” complained Margaret, wearily, with her hands pressing against her temples.
CHAPTER VI
MRS. MAYNARD SLOWLY went upstairs and along the hall to her daughter’s room. Margaret sat listlessly by a window. The girls had gone.
“You were going for a long walk,” said Mrs. Maynard.
“I’m tired,” replied Margaret. There was a shadow in her eyes.
The mother had never understood her daughter. And of late a subtle change in Margaret had made her more of a puzzle.
“Margaret, I want to talk seriously with you,” she began.
“Well?”
“Didn’t I tell you I wanted you to break off your — your friendship with Holt Dalrymple?”
“Yes,” replied Margaret, with a flush. “I did not — want to.”
“Well, the thing which concerns you now is — he can’t be regarded as a possibility for you.”
“Possibility?” echoed Margaret.
“Just that, exactly. I’m not sure of your thoughts on the matter, but it’s time I knew them. Holt is a ne’er-do-well. He’s gone to the bad, like so many of these army boys. No nice girl will ever associate with him again.”
“Then I’m not nice, for I will,” declared Margaret, spiritedly.
“You will persist in your friendship for him in the face of my objection?”
“Certainly I will if I have any say about it. But I know Holt. I — I guess he has taken to drink — and carrying on. So you needn’t worry much about our friendship.”
Mrs. Maynard hesitated. She had become accustomed to Margaret’s little bursts of fury and she expected one here. But none came; Margaret appeared unnaturally calm; she sat still with her face turned to the window. Mrs. Maynard was a little afraid of this cold, quiet girl.
“Margaret, you can’t help seeing now that your mother’s judgment was right. Holt Dalrymple once may have been very interesting and attractive for a friend, but as a prospective husband he was impossible. The worst I hear of him is that he drinks and gambles. I know you liked him and I don’t want to be unjust. But he has kept other and better young men away from you.”
Margaret’s hand clenched and her face sank against the window-pane.
“We need say no more about him,” went on Mrs. Maynard. “Margaret, you’ve been brought up in luxury. If your father happened to die now — he’s far from well — we’d be left penniless. We’ve lived up every dollar.... We have our poor crippled Blair to care for. You know you must marry well. I’ve brought you up with that end in view. And it’s imperative you marry soon.”
“Why must a girl marry?” murmured Margaret, wistfulness in her voice. “I’d rather go to work.” “Margaret, you are a Maynard,” replied her mother, haughtily. “Pray spare me any of this new woman talk about liberty — equal rights — careers and all that. Life hasn’t changed for the conservative families of blood.... Try to understand, Margaret, that you must marry and marry well. You’re nobody without money. In society there are hundreds of girls like you, though few so attractive. That’s all the more reason you should take the best chance you have, before it’s lost. If you don’t marry people will say you can’t. They’ll say you’re fading, growing old, even if you grow prettier every day of your life, and in the end they’ll make you a miserable old maid. Then you’ll be glad to marry anybody. If you marry now you can help your father, who needs help badly enough. You can help poor Blair.... You can be a leader in society; you can have a house here, a cottage at the seashore and one in the mountains; everything a girl’s heart yearns for — servants, horses, autos, gowns, diamonds — —”
“Everything except love,” interrupted Margaret, bitterly.
Mrs. Maynard actually flushed, but she kept her temper.
“It’s desirable that you love your husband. Any sensible woman can learn to care for a man. Love, as you dream about it is merely a — a dream. If women waited for that they would never get married.”
“Which would be preferable to living without love.”
“But Margaret, what would become of the world? If there were fewer marriages — Heaven knows they’re few enough nowadays — there would be fewer families — and in the end fewer children — less and less — —”
“They’d be better children,” said Margaret, calmly.
“Eventually the race would die out.”
“And that’d be a good thing — if the people can’t love each other.”
“How silly — exasperating!” ejaculated Mrs. Maynard. “You don’t mean such nonsense. What any girl wants is a home of her own, a man to fuss over. I didn’t marry for love, as you dream it. My husband attended to his business and I’ve looked after his household. You’ve had every advantage. I flatter myself our marriage has been a success.”
Margaret’s eyes gleamed like pointed flames.
“I differ with you. Your married life hasn’t been successful any more than it’s been happy. You never cared for father. You haven’t been kind to him since his failure.”
Mrs. Maynard waved her hand imperiously in angry amaze.
“I won’t stop. I’m not a baby or a doll,” went on Margaret, passionately. “If I’m old enough to marry I’m old enough to talk. I can think, can’t I? You never told me anything, but I could see. Ever since I can remember you and father have had one continual wrangle about money — bills — expenses. Perhaps I’d have been better off without all the advantages and luxury. It’s because of these things you want to throw me at some man. I’d far rather go to work the same as Blaid did, instead of college.”
“Whatever on earth has come over you?” gasped Mrs. Maynard, bewildered by the revolt of this once meek daughter.
“Maybe I’m learning a little sense. Maybe I got some of it from Daren Lane,” flashed back Margaret.
“Mother, whatever I’ve learned lately has been learned away from home. You’ve no more idea what’s going on in the world to-day than if you were actually dead. I never was bright like Mel Iden, but I’m no fool. I see and hear and I read. Girls aren’t pieces of furniture to be handed out to some rich men. Girls are waking up. They can do things. They can be independent. And being independent doesn’t mean a girl’s not going to marry. For she can wait — wait for the right man — for love.... You say I dream. Well, why didn’t you wake me up long ago — with the truth? I had my dreams about love and marriage. And I’ve learned that love and marriage are vastly different from what most mothers make them out to be, or let a girl think.”
“Margaret, I’ll not have you talk in this strange way. You owe me respect if not obedience,” said Mrs. Maynard, her voice trembling.
“Oh, well, I won’t say any more,” replied Margaret, “But can’t you spare me? Couldn’t we live within our means?”
“After all these years — to skimp along! I couldn’t endure it.”
“Whom have you in mind for me to — to marry?” asked the girl, coldly curious.
“Mr. Swann has asked your hand in marriage for his son Richard. He wants Richard to settle down. Richard is wild, like all these young men. And I have — well, I encouraged the plan.”
“Mother!” cried Margaret, springing up.
“Margaret, you will see”
“I despise Dick Swann.”
“Why?” asked her mother.
“I just do. I never liked him in school. He used to do such mean things. He’s selfish. He let Holt and Daren suffer for his tricks.”
“Margaret, you talk like a child.”
“Listen, mother.” She threw her arms round Mrs. Maynard and kissed her and spoke pleadingly. “Oh, don’t make me hate myself. It seems I’ve grown so much older in the last year or so — and lately since this marriage talk came up. I’ve thought of things as never before because I’ve — I’ve learned about them. I see so differently. I can’t — can’t love Dick Swann. I can’t bear to have him touch me. He’s rude. He takes liberties.... He’s too free with his hands! Why, it’d be wrong to marry him. What difference can a marriage service make in a girl’s feelings.... Mother, let me say no.”
“Lord spare me from bringing up another girl!” exclaimed Mrs. Maynard. “Margaret, I can’t make you marry Richard Swann. I’m simply trying to tell you what any sensible girl would see she had to do. You think it over — both sides of the question — before you absolutely decide.”
Mrs. Maynard was glad to end the discussion and to get away. In Margaret’s appeal she heard a yielding, a final obedience to her wish. And she thought she had better let well enough alone. The look in Margaret’s clear blue eyes made her shrink; it would haunt her. But she felt no remorse. Any mother would have done the same. There was always the danger of that old love affair; there was new danger in these strange wild fancies of modern girls; there was never any telling what Margaret might do. But once married she would be safe and her position assured.
CHAPTER VII
DAREN LANE LEFT Riverside Park, and walked in the meadows until he came to a boulder under a huge chestnut tree. Here he sat down. He could not walk far these days. Many a time in the Indian summers long past he had gathered chestnuts there with Dal, with Mel Iden, with Helen. He would never do it again.
The April day had been warm and fresh with the opening of a late spring. The sun was now gold — rimming the low hills in the west; the sky was pale blue; the spring flowers whitened the meadow. Twilight began to deepen; the evening star twinkled out of the sky; the hush of the gloaming hour stole over the land.
“Four weeks home — and nothing done. So little time left!” he muttered.
Two weeks of that period he had been unable to leave his bed. The rest of the time he had dragged himself around, trying to live up to his resolve, to get at the meaning of the present, to turn his sister Lorna from the path of dalliance. And he had failed in all.
His sister presented the problem that most distressed Lane. She had her good qualities, and through them could be reached. But she was thoughtless, vacillating, and wilful. She had made him promises only to break them. Lane had caught her in falsehoods. And upon being called to account she had told him that if he didn’t like it he could “lump” it. Of late she had grown away from what affection she had shown at first. She could not bear interference with her pleasures, and seemed uncontrollable. Lane felt baffled. This thing was a Juggernaut impossible to stop.
Lane had scraped acquaintance with Harry Hale, one of Lorna’s admirers, a boy of eighteen, who lived with his widowed mother on the edge of the town. He appeared to be an industrious, intelligent, quiet fellow, not much given to the prevailing habits of the young people. In his humble worship of Lorna he was like a dog. Lorna went to the motion pictures with him occasionally, when she had no other opportunity for excitement. Lane gathered that Lorna really liked this boy, and when with him seemed more natural, more what a fifteen-year-old girl used to be. And somehow it was upon this boy that Lane placed a forlorn hope.
No more automobiles honked in front of the home to call Lorna out. She met her friends away from the house, and returning at night she walked the last few blocks. It was this fact that awoke Lane’s serious suspicions.
Another problem lay upon Lane’s heart; if not so distressing as Lorna’s, still one that added to his sorrow and his perplexity. He had gone once to call on Mel Iden. Mel Iden was all soul. Whatever had been the facts of her downfall — and reflection on that hurt Lane so strangely he could not bear it — it had not been on her part a matter of sex. She was far above wantonness.
Through long hours in the dark of night, when Lane’s pain kept him sleepless, he had pondered over the mystery of Mel Iden until it cleared. She typified the mother of the race. In all periods of the progress of the race, war had brought out this instinct in women — to give themselves for the future. It was a provision of nature, inscrutable and terrible. How immeasurable the distance between Mel Iden and those women who practised birth control! As the war had brought out hideous greed and baseness, so had it propelled forward and upward the noblest attributes of life. Mel Iden was a builder, not a destroyer. She had been sexless and selfless. Unconsciously during the fever and emotion of the training of American men for service abroad, and the poignancy of their departure, to fight, and perhaps never return, Mel Iden had answered to this mysterious instinct of nature. Then, with the emotion past, and face to face with staggering consequences, she had reacted to conscious instincts. She had proved the purity of her surrender. She was all mother. And Lane began to see her moving in a crystal, beautiful light.
For what seemed a long time Lane remained motionless there in the silence of the meadow. Then at length he arose and retraced his slow steps back to town. Darkness overtook him on the bridge that spanned Middleville River. He leaned over the railing and peered down into the shadows. A soft murmur of rushing water came up. How like strange distant voices calling him to go back or go on, or warning him, or giving mystic portent of something that would happen to him there! A cold chill crept over him and he seemed enveloped in a sombre menace of the future. But he shook it off. He had many battles to fight, not the least of which was with morbid imagination.
When he reached the center of town he entered the lobby of the Bradford Inn. He hoped to meet Blair Maynard there. A company of well-dressed youths and men filled the place, most of whom appeared to be making a merry uproar.
Lane observed two men who evidently were the focus of attention. One was a stranger, very likely a traveling man, and at the moment he presented a picture of mingled consternation and anger. He was brushing off his clothes while glaring at a little, stout, red-faced man who appeared about to be stricken by apoplexy. This latter was a Colonel Pepper, whose acquaintance Lane had recently made. He was fond of cards and sport, and appeared to be a favorite with the young men about town. Moreover he had made himself particularly agreeable to Lane, in fact to the extent of Lane’s embarrassment. At this moment the stranger lost his consternation wholly in wrath, and made a threatening movement toward Pepper. Lane stepped between them just in time to save Pepper a blow.
“I know what he’s done. I apologize for him,” said Lane, to the stranger. “He’s made a good many people victims of the same indignity. It’s a weakness — a disease. He can’t help himself. Pray overlook it.”
The stranger appeared impressed with Lane’s presence, probably with his uniform, and slowly shook himself and fell back, to glower at Pepper, and curse under his breath, still uncertain of himself.
Lane grasped Colonel Pepper and led him out of the lobby.
“Pepper, you’re going to get in an awful mess with that stunt of yours,” he declared, severely. “If you can’t help it you ought at least pick on your friends, or the town people — not strangers.”
“Have — a — drink,” sputtered Pepper, with his hand at his hip.
“No, thanks.”
“Have — a — cigar.”
Lane laughed. He had been informed that Colonel Pepper’s failing always took this form of remorse, and certainly he would have tried it upon his latest victim had not Lane interfered.
“Colonel, you’re hopeless,” said Lane, as they walked out. “I hope somebody will always be around to protect you. I’d carry a body guard.... Say, have you seen Blair Maynard or Holt Dalrymple to-night?”
“Not Blair, but Holt was here early with the boys,” replied Pepper. “They’ve gone to the club rooms to have a little game. I’m going to sit in. Lately I had to put up a holler. If the boys quit cards how’m I to make a living?”
“Had Holt been drinking?”
“Not to-night. But he’s been hitting the bottle pretty hard of late.”
Suddenly Lane buttonholed the little man and peered down earnestly at him. “Pepper, I’ve been trying to straighten Holt up. He’s going to the bad. But he’s a good kid. It’s only the company.... The fact is — this’s strictly confidential, mind you — Holt’s sister begged me to try to stop his drinking and gambling. I think I can do it, too, with a little help. Now, Pepper, I’m asking you to help me.”
