Collected Works of Zane Grey, page 1485
Lane took pity on him and carried him off to the garden and the river bank, where he became himself again.
They talked for a while, but neither mentioned the subject that had once drawn them together. For both of them a different life had begun.
A little while afterward Mel and Lane watched the bright figure and the slight dark one go up the hillside cityward.
“What do you know about that!” ejaculated Lane for the tenth time.
“Hush!” said Mel, and she touched his lips with a soft exquisite gesture.
At three o’clock one June afternoon Mel and Daren were lounging on a mossy bank that lined the shady side of a clear rapid-running brook. A canoe was pulled up on the grass below them. With an expression of utter content, Lane was leaning over the brook absorbed in the contemplation of a piece of thread which was tied to a crooked stick he held in his hand. He had gone back to his boyhood days. Just then the greatest happiness on earth was the outwitting of bright-sided minnows and golden flecked sunfish. Mel sat nearby with her lap full of flowers which she had gathered in the long grass and was now arranging. She was dressed in blue; a sunbonnet slipped back from her head; her glossy hair waved in the breeze. She looked as fresh as a violet.
“Well, Daren, we have spent four delightful, happy hours. How time flies! But it’s growing late and we must go,” said Mel.
“Wait a minute or two,” replied Lane. “I’ll catch this fellow. See him bite! He’s cunning. He’s taken my bait time and again, but I’ll get him. There! See him run with the line. It’s a big sunfish!”
“How do you know? You haven’t seen him.”
“I can tell by the way he bites. Ha! I’ve got him now,” cried Lane, giving a quick jerk. There was a splash and he pulled out a squirming eel.
“Ugh! The nasty thing!” cried Mel, jumping up. Lane had flung the eel back on the bank and it just missed falling into Mel’s lap. She screamed, and then when safely out of the way she laughed at the disgust in his face.
“So it was a big sunfish? My! What a disillusion! So much for a man’s boastful knowledge.”
“Well, if it isn’t a slimy old eel. There! be off with you; go back into the water,” said Lane, as he shook the eel free from the hook.
“Come, we must be starting.”
He pushed the canoe into the brook, helped Mel to a seat in the bow and shoved off. In some places the stream was only a few feet wide, but there was enough room and water for the light craft and it went skimming along. The brook turned through the woods and twisted through the meadows, sometimes lying cool and dark in the shade and again shining in the sunlight. Often Lane would have to duck his head to get under the alders and willows. Here in an overshadowed bend of the stream a heron rose lumbering from his weedy retreat and winged his slow flight away out of sight; a water wagtail, that cunning sentinel of the brooks, gave a startled tweet! tweet! and went flitting like a gray streak of light round the bend.
“Daren, please don’t be so energetic,” said Mel, nervously.
“I’m strong as a horse now. I’m — hello! What’s that?”
“I didn’t hear anything.”
“I imagined I heard a laugh or shout.”
The stream was widening now as it neared its mouth. Lane was sending the canoe along swiftly with vigorous strokes. It passed under a water-gate, round a quick turn in the stream, where a bridge spanned it, and before Lane had a suspicion of anything unusual he was right upon a merry picnic party. There were young men and girls resting on the banks and several sitting on the bridge. Automobiles were parked back on the bank.
Lane swore under his breath. He recognized Margaret, Dick Swann and several other old-time acquaintances and friends of Mel’s.
“Who is it?” asked Mel. Her back was turned. She did not look round, though she heard voices.
“It doesn’t matter,” said Lane, calmly.
He would have given the world to spare Mel the ordeal before her, but that was impossible. He put more power into his stroke and the canoe shot ahead.
It passed under the bridge, not twenty feet from Margaret Swann. There was a strange, eager, wondering look in Margaret’s clear eyes as she recognized Mel. Then she seemed to be swallowed up by the green willows.
“That was damned annoying,” muttered Lane to himself. He could have met them all face to face without being affected, but he realized how painful this meeting must be to Mel. These were Mel’s old friends. He had caught Margaret’s glance. Old memories came surging back. His gaze returned to Mel. Her face was grave and sad; her eyes had darkened, and there was a shadow in them. His glance sought the green-lined channel ahead. The canoe cut the placid water, turned the last bend, and glided into the swift river. Soon Lane saw the little cottage shining white in the light of the setting sun.
One afternoon, as Lane was returning from the woods, he met a car coming out of the grassy road that led down to his cottage. As he was about to step aside, a gay voice hailed him. He waited. The car came on. It contained Holt Dalrymple and Bessy Bell.
“Say, don’t you dodge us,” called Holt.
“Daren Lane!” screamed Bessy.
Then the car halted, and with two strides Lane found himself face to face with the young friends he had not seen for months. Holt appeared a man now. And Bessy — no longer with bobbed hair — older, taller, changed incalculably, struck him as having fulfilled her girlish promise of character and beauty. “Well, it’s good to see you youngsters”, said Lane, as he shook hands with them.
Holt seemed trying to hide emotion. But Bessy, after that first scream, sat staring at Lane with a growing comprehending light in her purple eyes.
Suddenly she burst out. “Daren — you’re well!.... Oh, how glad I am! Holt, just look at him.”
“I’m looking, Bess. And if he’s really Daren Lane, I’ll eat him,” responded Holt.
“This is all I needed to make to-day the happiest day of my life,” said Bessy, with serious sweetness.
“This? Do you mean meeting me? I’m greatly flattered, Bessy,” said Lane, with a smile.
Then both a blush and a glow made her radiant.
“Daren, I’m sixteen to-day. Holt and I are — we’re engaged I told mother, and expected a row. She was really pleased.... And then seeing you well again. Why, Daren, you’ve actually got color. Then Holt has been given a splendid business opportunity.... And — Oh! it’s all too good to be true.”
“Well, of all things!” cried Lane, when he had a chance to speak. “You two engaged! I — I could never tell you how glad I am.” Lane felt that he could have hugged them both. “I congratulate you with all my heart. Now Holt — Bessy, make a go of it. You’re the luckiest kids in the world.”
“Daren, we’ve both had our fling and we’ve both been hurt,” said Bessy, seriously. “And you bet we know how lucky we are — and what we owe Daren Lane for our happiness to-day.”
“Bessy, that means a great deal to me,” replied Lane, earnestly. “I know you’ll be happy. You have everything to live for. Just be true to yourself.”
So the moment of feeling passed.
“We went down to your place,” said Holt, “and stayed a while waiting for you.”
“Daren, I think Mel is lovely. May I not come often to see you both?” added Bessy.
“You know how pleased we’ll be.... Bessy, do you ever see my sister Lorna?” asked Lane, hesitantly.
“Yes, I see her now and then. Only the other day I met her in a store. Daren, she’s getting some sense. She has a better position now. And she said she was not going with any fellow but Harry.”
“And my mother?” Lane went on.
“She is quite well, Lorna said. And they are getting along well now. Lorna hinted that a relative — an uncle, I think, was helping them.”
Lane was silent a moment, too stirred to trust his voice. Presently he said: “Bessy, your birthday has brought happiness to some one besides yourself.”
He bade them good-bye and strode on down the hill toward the cottage. How strangely meetings changed the future! Holt’s pride of possession in Bessy brought poignantly back to Lane his own hidden love for Mel. And Bessy’s rapture of amaze at his improvement in health put Lane face to face with a possibility he had dreamed of but had never believed in — that he might live.
That night was for Lane a sleepless one. He seemed to have traveled in a dreamy circle, and was now returning to memories and pangs from which he had long been free.
Next morning, without any hint to Mel of his intentions, he left the cottage and made his way into town. Almost he felt as he had upon his return from France. He dropped in to see his mother and was happy to find her condition of mind and health improved. She was overjoyed to see Lane. Her surprise was pitiful. She told him she was sure that he had recovered.
It was this matter of his physical condition that had brought Lane into Middleville. For many months he had resigned himself to death. And now he could not deny even his morbid fancy that he felt stronger than at any time since he left France. He had worked hard to try to get well, but he had never, in his heart, believed that possible.
Lane called upon Doctor Bronson and asked to be thoroughly examined. The doctor manifestly found the examination a task of mounting gratification. At length he concluded.
“Daren, I told you over a year ago I didn’t know of anything that could save your life,” he said. “I didn’t. But something has saved your life. You are thirty pounds heavier and gaining fast. That hole in your back is healed. Your lungs are nearly normal. You have only to be careful of a very violent physical strain. That weak place in your back seems gone.... You’re going to live, my boy.... There has been some magic at work. I’m very happy about it. How little doctors know!”
Dazed and stunned by this intelligence, Lane left the doctor’s residence and turned through town on his way homeward. As he plodded on, he began to realize the marvelous truth. What would Blair say? He hurried to a telephone exchange to acquaint his friend with the strange thing that had happened. But Blair had been taken to a sanitarium in the mountains. Lane hurried out of town into the country, down the river road, to the cottage, there to burst in upon Mel.
“Daren!” she cried, in alarm. “What’s happened?”
She rose unsteadily, her eyes dilating.
“Doctor Bronson said — I was — well,” panted Lane.
“Oh!... Daren, is that it?” she replied, with a wonderful light coming to her face. “I’ve known that for weeks.”
“After all — I’m not going — to die!... My God!”
Lane rushed out and strode along the river, and followed the creek into the woods. Once hidden in the leafy recesses he abandoned himself to a frenzy of rapture. What he had given up had come back to him. Life! And he lay on his back with his senses magnified to an intense degree.
The day was late in June, and a rich, thick amber light floated through the glades of the forest. Majestic white clouds sailed in the deep blue sky. The sun shone hot down into the glades. Under the pines and maples there was a cool sweet shade. Wild flowers bloomed. A fragrance of the woods came on the gentle breeze. The leaves rustled. The melancholy song of a hermit thrush pierced the stillness. A crow cawed from a high oak. The murmur of shallow water running over rocks came faintly to Lane’s ears.
Lane surrendered utterly to the sheer primitive exultation of life. The supreme ecstasy of that hour could never have been experienced but for the long hopeless months which had preceded it. For a long time he lay there in a transport of the senses, without thinking. As soon as thought regained dominance over his feelings there came a subtle change in his reaction to this situation.
He had forgotten much. He had lived in a dream. He had unconsciously grown well. He had been strangely, unbelievably happy. Why? Mel Iden had nursed him, loved him, inspired him back to health. Her very presence near him, even unseen, had been a profound happiness. He made the astonishing discovery that for months he had thought of little else besides his wife. He had lived a lonely life, in his room, and in the open, but all of it had been dominated by his dreams and fancies and emotions about her. He had roused from his last illness with the past apparently dead. There was no future. So he lived in the moment, the hour. While he lay awake in the silence of night, or toiled over his wood pile, or wandered by the brook under the trees, his dreamy thoughts centered about her. And now the truth burst upon him. His love for her had been stronger than his ruined health and blasted life, stronger than misfortune, stronger than death. It had made him well. He had not now to face death, but life. And the revelation brought on shuddering dread.
Lane lingered in the woods until late afternoon. Then he felt forced to return to the cottage. The look of the whole world seemed changed. All was actual, vivid, striking. Mel’s loveliness burst upon him as new and strange and terrible as the fact of his recovery. He had hidden his secret from her. He had been like a brother, kind, thoughtful, gay at times, always helpful. But he had remained aloof. He had basked in the sunshine of her presence, dreamily reveling in the consciousness of what she was to him. That hour had passed forever.
He saw her now as his wife, a girl still, one who had been cruelly wronged by life, who had turned her back upon the past and who lived for him alone. She had beauty and brains, a wonderful voice, and personality that might have fitted her for any career or station in life. She thought only of him. She had found content in ministering to him. She was noble and good.
In the light of these truths coming to him, Lane took stock of his love for Mel. It had come to be too mighty a thing to understand in a moment. He lived with it in the darkness of midnight and in the loneliness of the hills. He had never loved Helen. Always he had loved Mel Iden — all his life. Clear as a crystal he saw the truth. The war with its ruin for both of them had only augmented the powers to love. Lane’s year of agony in Middleville had been the mere cradling of a mounting and passionate love. He must face it now, no longer in dreamy lulled unconsciousness, but in all its insidious and complex meaning. The spiritual side of it had not changed. This girl with the bloom of woman’s loveliness upon her, with her grace and sweetness and fire, with the love that comes only once in life, belonged to him, was his wife. She did not try to hide anything. She was unconscious of appeal. Her wistfulness came from her lonely soul.
The longer Lane dwelt on this matter of his love for Mel the deeper he found it, the more inexplicable and alluring. And when at last it stood out appallingly, master of him, so beautiful and strange and bitter, he realized that between him and Mel was an insurmountable and indestructible barrier.
Then came storm and strife of soul. Night and day the conflict went on. Outwardly he did not show much sign of his trouble, though he often caught Mel’s dark eyes upon him, sadly conjecturing. He worked in the garden; he fished the creek, and rowed miles on the river; he wandered in the woods. And the only change that seemed to rise out of his tumult was increasing love for this girl with whom his fate had been linked.
So once more Lane became a sufferer, burdened by pangs, a wanderer along the naked and lonely shore of grief. His passion and his ideal were at odds. Unless he changed his nature, his reverence for womanhood, he could never realize the happiness that might become his. All that he had sacrificed had indeed been in vain. But he had been true to himself. His pity for Mel was supreme. It was only by the most desperate self-control that he could resist taking her in his arms, confessing his love, swearing with lying lips he had forgotten the wrong done her and asking her to face the future as his loving wife. The thought was maddening. It needed no pity for Mel to strengthen it. He needed love. He needed to fulfill his life.
But Lane did not yield, though he knew that if he continued to live with Mel, in time the sweetness and enchantment of her would be too great for him. This he confessed.
More and more he had to fight his jealousy and the treacherous imagination that would create for him scenes of torment. He cursed himself as base and ignoble. Yet the truth was always there. If Mel had only loved the father of her child — if she had only loved blindly and passionately as a woman — it would have been different. But her sacrifice had not been one of love. It had been one of war. It had the nobility of woman’s sacrifice to the race. But as an individual she had perished.
CHAPTER XXIII
SUMMER WANED. THE long hot days dragged by. The fading rushes along the river drooped wearily over their dry beds. The yellowing leaves of the trees hung dejected; they were mute petitioners for cool breezes and rain. The grasshoppers chirped monotonously, the locusts screeched shrilly, both being products of the long hot summer, and survivors of the heat, inclined to voice their exultation far into the fall season.
September yielded them full sway, and burned away day by day, week by week, dusty and scorching, without even a promise of rain. October, however, dawned, misty and dark; the clouds crept up reluctantly at first and then, as if to make amends for neglect, trooped black and threatening toward the zenith. Storm followed storm, and at evening, after the violent crashing thunder and vivid lightning and driving torrents of rain had ceased, a soft, steady downpour persisted all night and all the next day.
The drought was broken. A rainy fall season was prophesied. The old danger of the river rising in flood was feared.
After the sear and lifeless color of the fields and forests, what a welcome relief to Daren Lane were the freshened green, the dawning red, the tinging gold! The forest on the hill was soft and warm, and but for the gleams of autumn, would have showed some of the tenderness of spring. Down in the lowlands a sea of color waved under a blue, smoky, melancholy haze.
Lane climbed high that Sunday afternoon and penetrated deep into the woods.
There was rest here. The forest was rich, warm with the scent of pine, of arbor vitae. There was the haunting promise of more brilliant hues. Thoughts swept through Lane’s mind. The great striving world was out of sight. Here in the gold-flecked shade, under the murmuring pines and pattering poplars, there was a world full of joy, wise in its teaching, significant of the glory that was fading but which would come again.
