Collected Works of Zane Grey, page 1471
“I’d like that, Blair.”
“You’re on. And say, I’ve another idea. To-night’s the Junior Prom — did you know that?”
“No, I didn’t.”
“Well, it is. Suppose we go up? My sister can get me cards.... I tell you, Dare, I’d like to see what’s going on in that bunch. I’ve heard a lot and seen some things.”
“Did you hear how I mussed up Fanchon Smith’s party?”
“You bet I did. That’s one reason I want to see some of this dancing. Will you go?”
“Yes, I can stand it if you can.”
“All right, Buddy, I’ll meet you at the inn — eight o’clock.”
Lane slowly made his way to a secluded corner of the lobby, where he sat down. Red Payson dead! Lane felt that he should not have been surprised or shocked. But he was both. The strange, cold sensation gradually wore away and with it the slight trembling of his limbs. A mournful procession of thoughts and images returned to his mind and he sat and brooded.
At the hour of his appointment with his friend, Lane went to the front of the lobby. Blair was on time. He hobbled in, erect and martial of bearing despite the crutch, and his dark citizen’s suit emphasized the whiteness of his face. Being home had softened Blair a little. Yet the pride and tragic bitterness were there. But when Blair espied Lane a warmth burned out of the havoc in his face. Lane’s conscience gave him a twinge. It dawned upon him that neither his spells of illness, nor his distress over his sister Lorna, nor his obsession to see and understand what the young people were doing could hold him wholly excusable for having neglected his comrade.
Their hand-clasp was close, almost fierce, and neither spoke at once. But they looked intently into each other’s faces. Emotion stormed Lane’s heart. He realized that Blair loved him and that he loved Blair — and that between them was a measureless bond, a something only separation could make tangible. But little of what they felt came out in their greetings.
“Dare, why the devil don’t you can that uniform,” demanded Blair, cheerfully. “People might recognize you’ve been ‘over there.’”
“Well, Blair, I expected you’d have a cork leg by this time,” said Lane.
“Nothing doing,” returned the other. “I want to be perpetually reminded that I was in the war. This ‘forget the war’ propaganda we see and hear all over acts kind of queer on a soldier.... Let’s find a bench away from these people.”
After they were comfortably seated Blair went on: “Do you know, Dare, I don’t miss my leg so much when I’m crutching around. But when I try to sit down or get up! By heck, sometimes I forget it’s gone. And sometimes I want to scratch my lost foot. Isn’t that hell?”
“I’ll say so, Buddy,” returned Lane, with a laugh.
“Read this,” said Blair, taking a paper from his pocket, and indicating a column.
Whereupon Lane read a brief Associated Press dispatch from Washington, D.C., stating that one Payson, disabled soldier of twenty-five, suffering with tuberculosis caused by gassed lungs, had come to Washington to make in person a protest and appeal that had been unanswered in letters. He wanted money from the government to enable him to travel west to a dry climate, where doctors assured him he might get well. He made his statement to several clerks and officials, and waited all day in the vestibule of the department. Suddenly he was seized with a hemorrhage, and, falling on the floor, died before aid could be summoned.
Without a word Lane handed the paper back to his friend.
“Red was a queer duck,” said Blair, rather hoarsely. “You remember when I ‘phoned you last over two weeks ago?... Well, just after that Red got bad on my hands. He wouldn’t accept charity, he said. And he wanted to beat it. He got wise to my mother. He wouldn’t give up trying to get money from the government — back money owed him, he swore — and the idea of being turned down at home seemed to obsess him. I talked and cussed myself weak. No good! Red beat it soon after that — beat it from Middleville on a freight train. And I never heard a word from him.... Not a word....”
“Blair, can’t you see it Red’s way?” queried Lane, sadly.
“Yes, I can,” responded Blair, “but hell! he might have gotten well. Doc Bronson said Red had a chance. I could have borrowed enough money to get him out west. Red wouldn’t take it.”
“And he ran off — exposed himself to cold and starvation — over-exertion and anger,” added Lane.
“Exactly. Brought on that hemorrhage and croaked. All for nothing!”
“No, Blair. All for a principle,” observed Lane. “Red was fired out of the hospital without a dollar. There was something terribly wrong.”
“Wrong?... God Almighty!” burst out Blair, with hard passion. “Let me read you something in this same paper.” With shaking hands he unfolded it, searched until he found what he wanted, and began to read:
“‘If the actual needs of disabled veterans require the expenditure of much money, then unquestionably a majority of the taxpayers of the country will favor spending it. Despite the insistent demand for economy in Washington that is arising from every part of the country, no member of House or Senate will have occasion to fear that he is running counter to popular opinion when eventually he votes to take generous care of disabled soldiers.’”
Blair’s trembling voice ceased, and then twisting the newspaper into a rope, he turned to Lane. “Dare, can you understand that?... Red Payson was a bull-headed boy, not over bright. But you and I have some intelligence, I hope. We can allow for the immense confusion at Washington — the senselessness of red tape — the callosity of politicians. But when we remember the eloquent calls to us boys — the wonderfully worded appeals to our patriotism, love of country and home — the painted posters bearing the picture of a beautiful American girl — or a young mother with a baby — remembering these deep, passionate calls to the best in us, can you understand that sort of talk now?”
“Blair, I think I can,” replied Lane. “Then — before and after the draft — the whole country was at a white heat of all that the approach of war rouses. Fear, self-preservation, love of country, hate of the Huns, inspired patriotism, and in most everybody the will to fight and to sacrifice.... The war was a long, hideous, soul-racking, nerve-destroying time. When it ended, and the wild period of joy and relief had its run, then all that pertained to the war sickened and wearied and disgusted the majority of people. It’s ‘forget the war.’ You and Payson and I got home a year too late.”
“Then — it’s just — monstrous,” said Blair, heavily.
“That’s all, Blair. Just monstrous. But we can’t beat our spirits out against this wall. No one can understand us — how alone we are. Let’s forget that — this wall — this thing called government. Shall we spend what time we have to live always in a thunderous atmosphere of mind — hating, pondering, bitter?”
“No. I’ll make a compact with you,” returned Blair, with flashing eyes. “Never to speak again of that — so long as we live!”
“Never to a living soul,” rejoined Lane, with a ring in his voice.
They shook hands much the same as when they had met half an hour earlier.
“So!” exclaimed Blair, with a deep breath. “And now, Dare, tell me how you made out with Helen. You cut me short over the ‘phone.”
“Blair, that day coming into New York on the ship, you didn’t put it half strong enough,” replied Lane. Then he told Blair about the call he had made upon Helen, and what had transpired at her studio.
Blair did not voice the scorn that his eyes expressed. And, in fact, most of his talking was confined to asking questions. Lane found it easy enough to unburden himself, though he did not mention his calls on Mel Iden, or Colonel Pepper’s disclosures.
“Well, I guess it’s high time we were meandering up to the hall,” said Blair, consulting his watch. “I’m curious about this Prom. Think we’re in for a jolt. It’s four years since I went to a Prom. Now, both of us, Dare, have a sister who’ll be there, besides all our old friends.... And we’re not dancing! But I want to look on. They’ve got an out-of-town orchestra coming — a jazz orchestra. There’ll probably be a hot time in the old town to-night.”
“Lorna did not tell me,” replied Lane, as they got up to go. “But I suppose she’d rather I didn’t know. We’ve clashed a good deal lately.”
“Dare, I hear lots of talk,” said Blair. “Margaret is chummy with me, and some of her friends are always out at the house. I hear Dick Swann is rushing Lorna. Think he’s doing it on the q-t.”
“I know he is, Blair, but I can’t catch them together,” returned Lane. “Lorna is working now. Swann got her the job.”
“Looks bad to me,” replied Blair, soberly. “Swann is cutting a swath. I hear his old man is sore on him.... I’d take Lorna out of that office quick.”
“Maybe you would,” declared Lane, grimly. “For all the influence or power I have over Lorna I might as well not exist.”
They walked silently along the street for a little while. Lane had to accommodate his step to the slower movement of his crippled friend. Blair’s crutch tapped over the stone pavement and clicked over the curbs. They crossed the railroad tracks and turned off the main street to go down a couple of blocks.
“Shades of the past!” exclaimed Blair, as they reached a big brick building, well-lighted in front by a sizzling electric lamp. The night was rather warm and clouds of insects were wheeling round the light. “The moths and the flame!” added Blair, satirically. “Well, Dare, old bunkie, brace up and we’ll go over the top. This ought to be fun for us.”
“I don’t see it,” replied Lane. “I’ll be about as welcome as a bull in a china shop.”
“Oh, I didn’t mean any one would throw fits over us,” responded Blair. “But we ought to get some fun out of the fact.”
“What fact?” queried Lane, puzzled.
“Rather far-fetched, maybe. But I’ll get a kick out of looking on — watching these swell slackers with the girls we fought for.”
“Wonder why they didn’t give the dance at the armory, where they’d not have to climb stairs, and have more room?” queried Lane, as they went in under the big light.
“Dare, you’re far back in the past,” said Blair, sardonically. “The armory is on the ground floor — one big hall — open, you know. The Assembly Hall is a regular maze for rooms and stairways.”
Blair labored up the stairway with Lane’s help. At last they reached the floor from which had blared the strains of jazz. Wide doors were open, through which Lane caught the flash of many colors. Blair produced his tickets at the door. There did not appear to be any one to take them.
Lane experienced an indefinable thrill at the scene. The air seemed to reek with a mixed perfume and cigarette smoke — to resound with high-keyed youthful laughter, wild and sweet and vacant above the strange, discordant music. Then the flashing, changing, whirling colors of the dancers struck Lane as oriental, erotic, bizarre — gorgeous golds and greens and reds striped by the conventional black. Suddenly the blare ceased, and the shrill, trilling laughter had dominance. The rapid circling of forms came to a sudden stop, and the dancers streamed in all directions over the floor.
“Dare, they’ve called time,” said Blair. “Let’s get inside the ropes so we can see better.”
The hall was not large, but it was long, and shaped like a letter L with pillars running down the center. Countless threads of many-colored strings of paper had been stretched from pillars to walls, hanging down almost within reach of the dancers. Flags and gay bunting helped in the riotous effect of decoration. The black-faced orchestra held forth on a raised platform at the point where the hall looked two ways. Recesses, alcoves and open doors to other rooms, which the young couples were piling over each other to reach, gave Lane some inkling of what Blair had hinted.
“Now we’re out in the limelight,” announced Blair, as he halted. “Let’s stand here and run the gauntlet until the next dance — then we can find seats.”
Almost at once a stream of gay couples enveloped them in passing. Bright, flashing, vivid faces and bare shoulders, arms and breasts appeared above the short bodices of the girls. Few of them were gowned in white. The colors seemed too garish for anything but musical comedy. But the freshness, the vividness of these girls seemed exhilarating. The murmur, the merriment touched a forgotten chord in Lane’s heart. For a moment it seemed sweet to be there, once more in a gathering where pleasure was the pursuit. It breathed of what seemed long ago, in a past that was infinitely more precious to remember because he had no future of hope or of ambition or dream. Something had happened to him that now made the sensations of the moment stingingly bitter-sweet. The freshness and fragrance, the color and excitement, the beauty and gayety were not for him. Youth was dead. He could never enter the lists with these young men, many no younger than he, for the favor and smile of a girl. Resignation had not been so difficult in the spiritual moment of realization and resolve, but to be presented with one concrete and stunning actuality after another, each with its mocking might-have-been, had grown to be a terrible ordeal.
Lane looked for faces he knew. On each side of the pillar where he and Blair stood the stream of color and gayety flowed. Helen and Margaret Maynard went by on the far edge of that stream. Across the hall he caught a glimpse of the flashing golden beauty of Bessy Bell. Then near at hand he recognized Fanchon Smith, a petite, smug-faced little brunette, with naked shoulders bulging out of a piebald gown. She espied Lane and her face froze. Then there were familiar faces near and far, to which Lane could not attach names.
All at once he became aware that other of his senses besides sight were being stimulated. He had been hearing without distinguishing what he heard. And curiously he listened, still with that strange knock of memory at his heart. Everybody was talking, some low, some high, all in the spirit of the hour. And in one moment he had heard that which killed the false enchantment.
“Not a chance! ...”
“Hot dog — she’s some Jane!”
“Now to the clinch—”
“What’ll we do till the next spiel—”
“Have a shot? — —”
“Boys, it’s only the shank of the evening. Leave something peppy for the finish.”
“Mame, you look like a million dollars in that rag.”
“She shakes a mean shimmy, believe me....”
“That egg! Not on your life!”
“Cut the next with Ned. We’ll sneak down and take a ride in my car....”
“Oh, spiffy!”
Lane’s acutely strained attention was diverted by Blair’s voice.
“Look who’s with my sister Margie.”
Lane turned to look through an open space in the dispersing stream. Blair’s sister was passing with Dick Swann. Elegantly and fastidiously attired, the young millionaire appeared to be attentive to his partner. Margaret stood out rather strikingly from the other girls near her by reason of the simplicity and modesty of her dress. She did not look so much bored as discontented. Lane saw her eyes rove to and fro from the entrance of the hall. When she espied Lane she nodded and spoke with a smile and made an evident move toward him, but was restrained by Swann. He led her past Lane and Blair without so much as glancing in their direction. Lane heard Blair swear.
“Dare, if my mother throws Marg at that — slacker, I’ll block the deal if it’s the last thing I ever do,” he declared, violently.
“And I’ll help you,” replied Lane, instantly.
“I know Margie hates him.”
“Blair, your sister is in love with Holt Dalrymple.”
“No! Not really? Thought that was only a boy-and-girl affair.... Aha! the nigger music again! Let’s find a seat, Dare.”
Saxophone, trombone, piccolo, snare-drum and other barbaric instruments opened with a brazen defiance of music, and a vibrant assurance of quick, raw, strong sounds. Lane himself felt the stirring effect upon his nerves. He had difficulty in keeping still. From the lines of chairs along the walls and from doors and alcoves rushed the gay-colored throng to leap, to close, to step, to rock and sway, until the floor was full of a moving mass of life.
The first half-dozen couples Lane studied all danced more or less as Helen and Swann had, that day in Helen’s studio. Then, by way of a remarkable contrast, there passed two young people who danced decently. Lane descried his sister Lorna in the throng, and when she and her partner came round in the giddy circle, Lane saw that she wiggled and toddled like the others. Lane, as she passed him, caught a glance of her eyes, flashing, reproachful, furious, directed at some one across her partner’s shoulder. Lane followed that glance and saw Swann. Apparently he did not notice Lorna, and was absorbed in the dance with his own partner, Helen Wrapp. This byplay further excited Lane’s curiosity. On the whole, it was an ungraceful, violent mob, almost totally lacking in restraint, whirling, kicking, swaying, clasping, instinctively physical, crude, vulgar and wild. Down the line of chairs from his position, Lane saw the chaperones of the Prom, no doubt mothers of some of these girls. Lane wondered at them with sincere and persistent amaze. If they were respectable, and had even a slight degree of intelligence, how could they look on at this dance with complacence? Perhaps after all the young people were not wholly to blame for an abnormal expression of instinctive action.
That dance had its several encores and finally ended.
Margaret and Holt made their way up to Lane and Blair. The girl was now radiant. It took no second glance for Lane to see how matters stood with her at that moment.
“Say, beat it, you two,” suddenly spoke up Blair. “There comes Swann. He’s looking for you. Chase yourselves, now, Marg — Holt. Leave that slacker to us!”
Margaret gave a start, a gasp. She looked hard at her brother. Blair wore a cool smile, underneath which there was sterner hidden meaning. Then Margaret looked at Lane with slow, deep blush, making her really beautiful.
