The Complete Oregon Series, page 44
“Nora. Nora, slow down, or you’re gonna hurt yourself,” Bernice called and followed her at a slower pace, still carrying Nattie.
“Hurt myself?” Nora yelled back. “They hurt Luke. Maybe she’s already…” She stopped, unable to say the word, afraid that it might become reality if she did. “God, it’s all my fault.”
Bernice caught up with her. “It’s not your fault. Luke is an adult. She made her own choices.”
Still marching up the hill, Nora threw her a heated glance. “Almost everything she did on this journey, she did for me. She’s telling Jacob because of you, because you’re my friend and she knows I don’t want to see you suffer.”
“Don’t be angry with me. I didn’t cause this whole mess.” Bernice puffed along.
“I’m not angry with you. I’m angry with myself. I was so scared and stupid, and now it might be too late.” Nora stumbled up the hill and stopped when she could see into the valley below.
A horse splashed through the creek, racing toward them at full gallop. Nora couldn’t identify the rider yet, but she saw the rifle in his hand and gripped her own even more tightly. She had let herself believe that the people on the train were their friends and wouldn’t hurt them, but now she was determined to fight for her life if need be. For Luke’s life.
“It’s Wayne,” Bernice said next to her. “Oh, Lord, I hope Jacob didn’t get hurt.”
The rider had almost reached them now, and Nora saw that it was indeed Bernice’s oldest son. The horse slid to a stop in front of them, its flanks heaving.
Wayne tipped his hat back. Blood covered his hand.
Nora lifted the rifle, the barrel shaking as she aimed it at the young man. “What have you done to Luke?”
Wayne’s eyes widened as he looked into the barrel. He began to raise his own weapon.
“Wayne, no!” Bernice stepped between them and put a hand on Wayne’s rifle. “Where’s your father?”
“Back there.” Wayne pointed in the direction he had come from.
Nora rushed past him, Bernice hot on her heels.
“Jacob, I’m…” Luke nervously cleared her throat. Measles danced beneath her, probably feeling her rider’s tension. “What Bernice found out about me is that I—”
“That he’s been in prison,” a voice behind her interrupted.
Jacob and Luke directed their horses around. “What?” they said at the same time.
“What’s the meaning of all this?” Jacob asked.
Yeah, I’d like to know that too. Luke stared at the two breathless women. Her gaze landed on Nora, who was standing next to Bernice with a tight grip on her rifle. Silent tears were running down her flushed face, and Luke had to force herself not to dismount, go to her, and pull her close.
“When I helped treat the wound, I saw the mark of a convicted criminal that was tattooed into his skin,” Bernice said. “He’s been in prison because he was involved in a bank raid when he was younger.”
Jacob turned his horse toward Luke, gazing at her with blazing eyes. “Is that true?”
Luke hesitated, but there was only one answer that wouldn’t turn her life upside down. What a strange world where being a criminal is better than being a woman. She sighed. “Yes.”
“Why didn’t you just tell me?” Jacob looked at his wife.
“I didn’t want to destroy the lives that Luke and Nora have built for themselves,” Bernice said. “And because of Wayne.”
Jacob gave a nod of understanding, but Luke stared at them. How was the Garfields’ son involved in this?
“Jacob’s little brother, Wayne, was killed when he was just eleven,” Bernice said. “The stray bullet from a bank robber hit him in the back. We named our son after him.”
“Then why did you tell me now?” Jacob asked.
Bernice hesitated.
“Because I just told her that Luke didn’t shoot or threaten anyone,” Nora said. “He didn’t even have a weapon. He was just a boy who agreed to stay with the horses and hold the reins for the older men.”
Slowly, Jacob turned in the saddle and studied Luke. “You did time in prison?”
“Yeah.” As far as Luke was concerned, it wasn’t really a lie. Her whole life had been a prison, locked in by people’s refusal to accept her and let her live her life the way she wanted to. Only Nora’s presence in her life had freed her from that prison and made her start living instead of just existing, afraid to form close bonds and be found out.
“All right, then you already paid for what you did, and it’s not my place to judge you anymore.” Jacob slid off his horse, walked over to Bernice, and looked deeply into her eyes. “Next time, just tell me. And now come on, our son just shot a deer. We’re gonna have a feast tonight.”
“Just a moment. There’s something I have to say before we go,” Bernice said, her gaze fixed on Luke. “I still don’t understand you and the choices you made in your life, and I don’t think I ever fully will, but I have to admit that you’re the most decent person I’ve ever met. You were willing to risk your life for my happiness, and I won’t forget that.”
Before Luke could think of an answer, Bernice stepped closer and waved at her to get off the horse.
Swallowing, Luke dismounted.
Bernice handed her the baby, silently signaling that she approved of her being a part of the children’s lives. Then she took her husband’s hand and started back to the camp.
Luke watched them walk away, then turned to Nora with a frown. “What the he—?” She stopped herself with a look at the baby in her arms. “What happened? Why are you running around with my rifle?”
The flush had left Nora’s face, and she was deathly pale now. “We heard a shot and thought…” She closed her eyes, and a new tear dropped from her lowered lashes. “I thought they had shot you.”
Luke had known from the start that she might be killed if she revealed her true identity, but Nora seemed to have only now grasped that. “Don’t cry.” It was hard to see Nora cry, especially if she was the cause of these tears. “Please don’t cry.” With the baby cradled in her right arm, she wrapped the left one, which was still a bit stiff, around Nora.
“I almost lost you.” Nora sniffled and leaned against Luke’s side. “I have every right to cry.”
“Yeah, but everything’s fine now. We don’t even have to leave the train, and the Garfields made up too.” Luke rubbed Nora’s trembling back.
“Just one second later and everything could have been very different,” Nora said. “I didn’t fully realize how dangerous the situation could become until Bernice reminded me what a hothead Brian is. When I heard that shot echo through the valley…”
Luke rubbed soothing circles on the small of her back, the baby held cozily in the cocoon between their bodies. “It was just Wayne, killing our dinner.”
“But I didn’t know that.”
“It was a scary moment,” Luke said. “Thank God that Bernice saved the day. I didn’t expect her to help me out of that situation.” Maybe it was time to trust someone else besides Nora. She didn’t plan on revealing her secret to anyone who came along, but Bernice had proved again and again that she could be trusted. She looked at Nora, who was still very pale. “Would you have really shot at Jacob?”
Nora grew even paler. “If he had hurt you, yes.”
Luke didn’t know what to say. The fire in the green eyes made her body temperature rise. She was worried, confused, moved, and a little bit aroused, all at the same time. Finally, she jolted herself out of her thoughts and into action. “Come on, let’s go back and set up the tent. We have to get a good night’s sleep to keep up our strength.” Reaching Oregon City would only be the beginning of another adventure.
Philip Foster’s Farm,
October 11th, 1851
Nora wandered through the vegetable garden and the orchards with Luke at her side. She stopped in front of the log house and imagined the sweet scent of the lilac bush that would bloom in the front yard come spring. After two thousand miles through barren country, over steep hills, and through raging rivers, this place seemed like the Garden of Eden to her.
Mary Charlotte Foster, a woman of about forty, proudly walked next to Nora, pointing out the two-story building and the green pastures where their livestock was grazing. “Next year, as soon as spring comes, we’re building a school,” Mrs. Foster said. “It was high time the government finally gave Philip permission, as we have twenty-eight children living around here.”
Nora looked at the children running through the orchard with the children from the wagon train.
“Eight of them are ours,” Mrs. Foster added with a smile.
Eight! Nora knew she would never have that big a family. Even if they stayed together, Luke wouldn’t have a son to take over her horse ranch.
At Nora’s sigh, Luke looked up from whatever Mrs. Foster had pointed out. “There’ll come a time when they need a school at whatever place we’ll end up in too,” Luke said. “And they’ll need a competent teacher.” She gave Nora a pointed look.
It took a few seconds for Nora to understand. “You mean me?”
“Sure. You had the patience of a saint with me—and you needed it. Teaching a room full of small children should be easy in comparison,” Luke said with a grin.
Nora smiled. Teaching would be a dream come true, but she wasn’t holding her breath, knowing she’d have so much work on the ranch that she would have no time for anything else. “There’ll be no time. You’ll need me on the ranch.”
“We’ll make the time,” Luke said. “The ranch will have to do without your loving care for a few hours each day.”
Nora allowed her smile to grow. Here she was, thinking gloomy thoughts of how she would never be able to give Luke a son, an heir, while Luke concentrated on the positive things in their future. Who knows… Knowing Luke, one of my daughters might one day be the first woman to own a horse ranch. She shifted Nattie into the cradle of her left arm and placed her right hand on Luke’s arm.
Luke laid her hand on Nora’s and led her toward the Fosters’ store.
Oregon City,
October 13th, 1851
Nora rolled around to lie on her back. She opened her eyes and stared up at the small room’s ceiling. She had been tossing and turning for the last two hours. How ironic. I longed to sink into the soft feathers of a real bed for months, and now that I have one, I can’t sleep.
They had reached Oregon’s capital this afternoon, and Luke had rented a room for them.
Nora was exhausted, not only from all the traveling they had done during the last five months, but also from taking in all the things to see in Oregon City. It was a long, narrow town, right where the Willamette River rumbled through a rocky canyon. The town was bigger than Nora had expected. It even had a church, a newspaper office, a hatter, a silversmith, a cabinet maker’s shop, two saloons, and a few tailors. Beyond the town, on the Willamette, boats headed toward the Columbia River, and the Willamette Falls supplied power to lumber and flour mills. It was a growing town with a bright future, and most of their fellow travelers decided to settle down in or around Oregon City.
Nora had known for some time that Luke wouldn’t be one of those people. Life in town was not for Luke. The dangers of being a part of a close-knit community were just too high—people were nosing into each other’s business, and Luke was too afraid of being found out.
So it hadn’t come as a surprise to Nora when Luke had emerged from the Government Land Office with a document that announced Lucas Hamilton as the new owner of one hundred and sixty acres of land at a place called Baker Prairie—according to Luke a beautiful green valley, bordered by rivers and surrounded by gentle hills and gorgeous mountains, just seven miles southwest of Oregon City.
Careful not to wake up the other inhabitants of the small room, Nora sat up and looked around. Next to her, on a small table, lay the documents that held their future. In the moonlight she could make out her name on one of the pages. Luke had filed a claim for another one hundred and sixty acres in her name. Nora had never had a place to call her own. Now she would own half of a ranch.
Still a bit overwhelmed, she looked away from the table and the documents. The baby was slumbering peacefully in the crib that Luke had built for her. Nora reached out and touched the squirrel that Luke had lovingly carved into the wood. Her finger trailed along the bushy tail and touched the point of an ear. Then her gaze wandered over to Amy’s bed.
The bed was empty and the blanket abandoned.
Nora swung her legs out of bed and looked around. Just as she was about to panic, she found Amy on the small cot next to Luke.
Amy clutched Luke’s shirt as she had often clutched Rosie, her doll that had ended up in the Wakarusa River what seemed like an eternity ago.
Nora blinked away a few tears, moved by the bond that had developed between Luke and Amy. They had grown even closer since Nattie’s birth. The baby needed so much of her time and attention that she would have felt guilty if Luke hadn’t stepped in. Now Luke was the one who read Amy her bedtime story while Nora nursed the baby, and she often took her with her when she scouted ahead on Measles.
Nora moved closer. Her eyes, used to the near darkness by now, studied Luke’s face. Her fingers ached to caress the tiny bump on the bridge of Luke’s nose, and her lips wanted to kiss away the lines of exhaustion on the familiar face. Stop this nonsense. Go back to bed and sleep. But this time, Nora couldn’t bring herself to listen to the voice of reason. She stayed sitting on the edge of her bed, staring at Luke.
Tomorrow, their new lives would begin. A life at the side of this woman if I want it. She had decided long ago that she did want it because Luke would make sure that she and her children would always have a roof over their heads and food on the table. Then, a few weeks ago, she had admitted that these materialistic considerations weren’t the only reason why she wanted to stay with Luke; it was also because she liked Luke.
Like? Another, softer voice in her head repeated. You don’t panic because someone you like is in danger. She thought back to the scary minutes at Devil’s Backbone when she had thought the men might have killed Luke. She hadn’t been worried about losing her protector and provider for her children; she had worried about losing Luke.
Can I really let myself think like this again? Feel like this? Wouldn’t it be safer in the long run if I got up now and left? The need to protect her vulnerable heart was overwhelming. After being abandoned by Rafe Jamison, the supposed love of her life, she had learned to erect walls around her heart to survive. And after working as a prostitute, hiding what she truly felt had become second nature, even hiding it from herself.
Slowly, Nora got up.
“Luke?”
Luke knew that voice. Its owner had visited her dreams quite often, so she just smiled and slept on.
“Luke?” the voice came again, a little louder.
“Huh?” Luke worked to open sleep-heavy eyelids. “’s it the baby?”
The cot under her dipped. Fingers combed through her hair, but she wasn’t certain whether this was reality or a part of a dream.
“No, the baby’s still sleeping,” Nora whispered.
Luke shook her head, trying to get rid of the fuzziness in her mind. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and looked around. Sometime during the night, Amy had bedded down next to her, and Nora was sitting on the edge of the cot, looking down at her. “What is it about this cot that’s so attractive to you Macauley women?” Luke asked, forcing a smile. She didn’t like the serious expression on Nora’s face and what it might mean.
“It’s not the cot,” Nora said. She stopped and stared down at her hands. “Luke, listen. I’ve got something to tell you. I made a decision.”
Luke was glad that she was already lying down. Every muscle in her body lost its strength. She shivered as coldness gripped her heart. We’re in Oregon City. The journey is over. She doesn’t need me anymore. She wants to stay in town and marry the schoolmaster or something. She clenched her jaw, determined not to yell or cry when the hurtful words were spoken.
“I love you,” Nora said.
God, you’re already hallucinating from holding your breath. Luke blinked. “What?”
“I love you.”
“Just like that?” Luke stared at her. A part of her wanted to accept Nora’s declaration of love at face value, but an even bigger part remained skeptical. “You decided to love me? Nora, love is not something you can decide on. It’s not here,” she pointed at her head, “it’s here.” She laid a palm over her heart.
Nora placed a hand over Luke’s, both of their fingers now covering Luke’s pounding heart. “I didn’t decide to love you. That happened months ago without conscious thought. But after almost losing you, I decided to take the risk and let myself love you. I always thought it would hurt less to lose you if I made myself believe that I didn’t love you. But the second I heard that shot, I knew I was lying to myself.”
Luke couldn’t stop staring. “W-why tell me now? That incident was three days ago.”
“I managed to bury it deep down again. But tomorrow is the beginning of a new life for us, and I don’t want to start it with a lie—to myself or to you.” Nora swallowed and said more loudly, “I love you, Luke.”
Luke closed her eyes, then opened them again. Nora was still sitting there. This was really happening. To me. This is happening to me. Luke had always been so sure that she would never truly be loved, but the warm glow in Nora’s eyes told her that the unbelievable had happened. “I don’t know what to say,” she mumbled, her mouth dry.
“An ‘I love you too’ would have been nice,” Nora whispered.
