The Complete Oregon Series, page 41
Luke’s hips began to rise and fall under Nora’s mouth. She clutched Nora’s fingers, trying to hold on to reality. Her thighs pressed against Nora’s ears.
Nora curled her lips around Luke’s clit, just holding it for a second.
A gentle pulsing began deep inside of Luke. “Nora!” She groaned. “God, Nora.” Her free hand cupped Nora’s cheek, neither pushing her away, nor forcing her closer, just establishing another connection between them.
Nora closed her lips over Luke and started to suckle. “Good?” she whispered against Luke.
Luke trembled and quivered under her. “I-it’s—Nnnnngh! Nora!” The words died on her lips as Nora’s touch continued. A slow pulsing started in her belly. She stiffened, her legs closing around Nora and pressing her even closer against her. With a hoarse cry, she fell back onto the bedroll.
Nora gently kissed the pulsing nub once more, then moved up. Her sweat-dampened body slid against Luke’s, making her moan again.
Luke lay still and tried to catch her breath. Her lids seemed to weigh a ton as she forced them open and stared up at Nora. “Nora,” she whispered, at a loss for other words.
Nora brushed her lips against Luke’s temple and held her close. “Are you all right?”
Luke pulled her even closer, enjoying the feeling of their bare bodies pressing against each other. She nodded shakily, then leaned forward and kissed Nora with languid slowness. When she tasted herself on Nora’s lips, she jerked back for a moment before she deepened the kiss. “I love you,” she whispered against Nora’s lips.
Now it was Nora’s turn to jerk back. “Luke,” she said slowly, warningly. She moved away from the tight embrace, holding Luke at arm’s length. “I can imagine that this was an overwhelming experience for you, and I know that in the heat of passion—”
“The heat of passion is not why I fell in love with you,” Luke said. “I experienced the heat of passion with Tess, but I never thought I was in love with her. I don’t love you because you shared the bedroll, your body, and this incredible night with me. I love you because…” She thought for a moment, then shook her head. “There are too many reasons to even count. Nora, you are a wonderful woman, and the way you grew into yourself during this journey just takes my breath away. I know in my heart and in my soul that you’re the right one for me. Can’t you feel the connection between us?” She turned desperate eyes on Nora, silently pleading for a sign that her feelings were returned.
Nora touched her cheek in a calming gesture, and Luke immediately pressed her face into the soft touch. “Of course I do,” Nora said. “We formed a very special friendship during the last few months. But love? I thought we agreed that love is not for us? Remember back at the Boise River?”
“I changed my mind. You changed my mind,” Luke said. It hurt to know that Nora didn’t feel the same. For one second, she’d almost let herself believe that Nora might be able to love her. You should have known better, you fool. Did you really think that a woman as wonderful as Nora could love someone like you?
With a pained expression, Nora pressed her hands against her lower belly. “Oww.”
Luke’s eyes widened. “What’s wrong? Did I hurt you earlier?”
“No, of course not. If anything, you should be proud.”
“Proud?” Seeing Nora in obvious pain made Luke feel anything but.
Nora gave her a tight smile. “That orgasm was quite intense. I’m still pulsing.” She rubbed her lower belly again.
Luke bit her lip and averted her eyes. Being able to bring Nora pleasure had been an amazing experience, but without Nora’s love, the pleasure didn’t really mean anything. Even though she was still lying wrapped in Nora’s arms, she felt lonely. She sat up and put the bandages back around her chest. The familiar protective layers didn’t shield her heart from the hurt, though. With a sigh, she pulled the blankets up around them and closed her eyes, trying to drown out her thoughts. She just wanted to sleep, dream of making love to Nora, and forget about everything that had happened afterward.
Nora settled down on her side, her cheek against Luke’s shoulder. She closed her eyes too, but Luke felt that she wasn’t relaxed at all. “Luke,” she said after a few minutes.
Luke didn’t want to talk about it anymore, but finally she sighed and answered, “Yeah?”
“I think the baby’s coming.”
The blanket went flying when Luke snapped upward. “What? You don’t mean now?”
“I’m afraid, yes.” Nora frowned. “My back aches, and my lower belly clenches rhythmically. I don’t think it has anything to do with my orgasm, or it would have stopped by now instead of getting worse.”
Luke shrugged into her shirt and tried to close the buttons with trembling fingers. “I’ll go for help, bring Bernice back here.”
Nora held on to the pants that Luke wanted to pull up. “No. If you go, I’ll be trapped all alone in these godforsaken mountains. You’ll never find them in the darkness and bring back help in time. I can’t do this alone, Luke.”
Luke closed her eyes for a moment. She pushed her feelings back into the recesses of her mind. There would be time to deal with what had happened between them later. “Then I’ll stay and help you.”
“Have you ever helped with a birth?”
“Yeah. More than a dozen times.”
Nora blinked. “You have?”
“Mostly, I just sat back and watched, but once or twice I had to reach inside and—”
“Reach inside?” Nora clenched her teeth as another wave of pain started.
Luke pulled up her pants and knelt down next to Nora. “Yeah. When the mare had problems—”
“Mare?” Nora spat out with a pained groan. “What are you talking about?”
“I was a ranch hand and a dragoon for years. I helped when the mares had their foals.”
Nora pointed a warning finger at her. “I’m not having a foal.”
Jacob had reminded her to never argue with a pregnant woman. Apparently, the same went doubly for women in labor. Luke decided that in this case, discretion was the better part of valor. She quickly changed the topic. “What can I do to help you?”
“Right now, you can only do what you did with your horses: sit back and watch,” Nora answered. “Ouch.” She groaned and gritted her teeth. Her hands gripped the bedroll.
“Are you sure there isn’t anything I can do?” It was hard for Luke to see Nora in pain without being able to do anything to help her. “Do you want a cup of water?” At Nora’s nod, she hurried to the wagon. Her fingers trembled when she opened the water barrel, and she had to concentrate not to spill the water on her way back. She knelt down and helped Nora to slowly sip the water.
“Luke, calm down.” Nora stroked the fingers that were clenched around the cup. “This is gonna take a while, and I need you calm.”
“A while? How long exactly?” Luke asked, fighting against her rising panic. She should have been safely in Oregon City to give birth or at least with the other women on the train, not here, trapped in the mountains, with only a nervous former soldier to help her.
Nora shrugged. “When I gave birth to Amy, I was in labor for eighteen hours.”
“Eighteen hours?” Luke’s voice came out as a squeak.
“Don’t look at me like that,” Nora said. “Do you think it was my idea? If God had asked me my opinion before deciding on a birthing process, you’d be able to order babies straight from Godey’s Lady’s Book. Besides, I think the midwife said something about it not lasting so long with the second baby.”
“You think?”
“I didn’t listen all that closely at that time,” Nora said. “After those eighteen long hours, I was determined that Amy was gonna stay an only child anyway.”
During the next few hours, Luke began to understand that sentiment. For the first time in her life, she was glad not to be a man, because she didn’t want Nora to ever have to go through this again. The contractions were getting progressively stronger, longer, and closer together until they seemed to come without any pause between them.
Luke tried everything to make Nora a bit more comfortable. She massaged Nora’s lower back, where she seemed to feel the pain the most, and wiped away the sweat beading on her forehead with a cool cloth. She fought her way through the dense forest to gather wood that was dry enough to build a fire.
Then, finally, when the first gray light of predawn lit the sky, the pushing and bearing down began.
Luke was getting more worried by the minute. Nora already seemed exhausted.
Another contraction ripped through her. Nora grunted in pain as she bore down again. When the pain finally eased, she fell back, panting heavily, until the next contraction started. “This is all your fault,” she ground out between clenched teeth.
Luke froze, her hand with the cloth suspended in midair. She swallowed. “Me? I didn’t father that child.”
“No, but you gave me the orgasm that induced labor,” Nora said.
“Oh.” Luke bit her lip and decided to just shut up.
When the next contraction hit her, Nora let out a loud cry. “God, that burns.” She gasped and panted when the wave of pain finally receded. “Please tell me that you can at least see the head by now.”
Luke, resting frozen on her knees, numbly shook her head.
“You have to look to see anything,” Nora yelled.
With hesitation, Luke pulled back the blanket resting over Nora’s bent knees and took a peek. Her eyes widened, and she had to press both palms to the ground not to topple over. “I-I can see the baby’s head.” She gazed up at Nora, trying her best to look encouraging. “It won’t be long now, just a few more pushes.”
“Mama? Papa?” Amy’s voice came from inside of the wagon.
Panic threatened to overwhelm Luke for a second. She couldn’t deal with this at the same time too. Then she straightened her shoulders and gave Nora a reassuring nod. “I’ll get her to settle back down. I’ll be right back.” She took the five steps to the wagon, using the time it took her to hide her nervousness from Amy, and looked down at the girl with a calming smile. “Sweetie, you should be sleeping.”
“Why is Mama shouting at you?” Amy asked.
“She wasn’t shouting. She was…” Luke trailed her fingers through her hair. “She was just talking loudly. All is fine. I promise.”
The worried expression finally faded from Amy’s face. “Can I sleep with you and Mama?”
Luke knew she couldn’t let Amy leave the wagon. It would scare her to see her mother in so much pain. God knows it’s scaring me. “Tomorrow, all right? If you go back to sleep, I promise that I’ll have a big surprise for you when you wake up.”
Amy settled back under her blanket.
“Good girl.” Luke breathed a sigh of relief. She pressed a gentle kiss to Amy’s forehead and started to turn back around when another pained groan could be heard from Nora.
“Mama!” Amy shot back up.
“No, no, no, little one, you stay right here.” Luke gently pressed her back down. “Your mama has a bit of a bellyache, but it will be better soon.” At least I hope it will.
“Luke!” Nora moaned from inside of the tent.
Luke took one last glance at Amy. “Stay here, please. I’ll come and get you as soon as I’ve helped your mother.” She hurried back and knelt down next to a panting Nora.
“How’s Amy?” Nora asked in a strangled whisper.
“Just fine. She’ll be asleep again in a moment,” Luke said, knowing it was a lie. She didn’t want to add to Nora’s distress. Worrying about one child at a time was more than enough for the moment. She peeked under Nora’s blanket again. “You’re doing good. The head is almost out. One more push should do it, I think.”
Nora dug her heels into the bedroll when the next contraction peaked. Her face started to turn red, and she took Luke’s hand in a viselike grip. Her other hand was pressed against her mouth, trying to hold back a scream.
Luke could practically feel her bones grind together. She winced but didn’t draw back. She was sure that the pain in her hand was nothing compared to what Nora was going through. She looked under the blanket again. “Nora. Let go of my hand!”
The baby’s head was finally out, but it was covered with a sacklike membrane, making it impossible for the baby to breathe. Luke had seen a similar thing with the horses she had helped to deliver. She gently pinched the membrane, which broke and released a fluid. With one of the clean cloths she had prepared earlier, Luke cleaned the tiny face.
“Is the baby all right?” Nora panted between contractions.
“She’s fine,” Luke said. “Just one more push and you can see for yourself.” She steadied the baby’s head when the next contraction started and Nora bore down again. With trembling fingers, she guided the first shoulder out and then quickly had to grab the baby when it slipped from Nora’s body.
The baby instantly started to cry.
Nora collapsed back onto the bedroll.
Luke tied off the umbilical cord with strips of cotton and cut it, then quickly cleaned the baby and wrapped it in her last clean shirt. She sat back and stared at the tiny bundle in her arms. Tears burned in her eyes. Afraid that she would drop the baby should she try to stand, she moved forward on her knees until she could place the baby in Nora’s arms.
Nora caressed the baby’s face with the tip of her index finger, tracing the tiny features with the same expression of wonder that Luke felt. She opened the shirt a bit to count her fingers and toes. “A girl,” she said, her voice hoarse and shaky. She looked up at Luke.
“Yeah. She’s beautiful.” Like her mother. Even with her blotchy red face and sweat-dampened hair, Nora was beautiful to Luke.
Nora looked down at her newborn daughter. The baby’s face was a little bluish but quickly gained a normal color, and she blinked up at her mother with puffy, unfocused eyes. “Yes, she is. Look at all that black hair.” She stroked the dark fuzz on the baby’s head. “She looks like you.”
Luke swallowed but didn’t say anything. She wanted so much to be a part of that baby, to be a part of her life, but she wasn’t sure if that dream would ever come true.
The newborn began to nuzzle against Nora, and she lifted her to her breast.
Luke watched in awe as the baby began to nurse. She had never seen anything as beautiful as this. “God,” she whispered, afraid of destroying the moment should she speak more loudly. “I love you.”
Nora closed her eyes. “Luke, don’t say that. Not when I can’t say it back.”
Luke shrugged. She hadn’t thought about it—if she had, she certainly wouldn’t have made a fool of herself a second time. It had slipped out before she could censor herself. Still, she couldn’t deny her feelings even if Nora would never return them.
Someone cleared their throat at the tent’s opening.
Luke looked away from mother and child, expecting to see Amy, who had climbed out of the wagon.
Instead, she met Bernice Garfield’s disapproving gaze.
“Bernice.” Nora grinned up at the older woman. “Look who has decided that she didn’t want to wait until we reached Oregon City to be born.” She held up the bundle in her arms with a tired, but proud smile.
The steely expression on Bernice’s face softened. “I had a feeling something like this would happen. That’s why I made Jacob bring me back at the first hint of daylight. I had a bad feeling about leaving you behind all on your own.”
“I wasn’t on my own,” Nora said. “Luke was with me, and he did a wonderful job.”
The smile vanished from Bernice’s face when she looked at Luke. “Maybe it would be better for this innocent child if you stayed out of her life,” Bernice said.
“What’s the meaning of this, Bernice?” Jacob’s voice thundered behind them. He had come up behind his wife. “You’re not making any sense. Of course Luke is gonna be a part of the baby’s life. He’s her father, for heaven’s sake.”
Bernice took a deep breath and opened her mouth.
Luke squeezed her eyes shut. With just a few words, Bernice would destroy her life and take away the only family she had ever known.
“Jacob, please, I didn’t mean it like that,” Bernice said.
Jacob stared her down. “How did you mean it, then?”
Bernice wrung her hands but remained silent.
The older woman went up a few notches in Luke’s estimation. Bernice had never left any doubt about her disapproval, but now she was risking her husband’s wrath by protecting Luke’s secret.
“Explain yourself, wife.” Jacob stood with his arms crossed, not moving an inch.
“You heard what Nora said,” Bernice said, addressing Luke. “Nora doesn’t love you. She—”
“What are you talking about?” Jacob asked. “A blind man could see that she does. The night Nora almost lost her baby, you even told me—”
Bernice gave a reluctant nod. “I know what I said. But back then, I didn’t know…”
“Didn’t know what?” Jacob asked when Bernice fell silent.
Bernice shook her head, refusing to answer.
Her husband’s face took on the color of an overripe tomato.
“What she didn’t know back then is that the baby isn’t really mine,” Luke said before the situation could escalate further. “Nora was already pregnant when I married her.” Admitting to that was a small price to pay for keeping her secret safe and helping Bernice out of her desperate situation.
Jacob stared at the baby for a moment, then rested his gaze on Nora before he looked back at Luke. “But you’re willing to raise her as your own?”
Luke nodded without hesitation. “I couldn’t love her more if I had fathered her myself.” She didn’t say it just for Jacob’s benefit. Holding the baby in her arms for the first time, she had immediately felt the love that she held for the baby’s mother extend to the little girl too.
