The Complete Oregon Series, page 32
Luke weakly lifted her head, trying to get a glimpse of her.
Amy was nowhere in sight. Nora stood alone, holding her small revolver with both hands. The barrel pointed at Larson, but it was visibly trembling.
Despite her own predicament, Luke felt a proud smile flit across her face.
“Oh, don’t worry, Bill, she won’t pull the trigger,” Brody Cowen said. “She doesn’t have the balls it takes to shoot someone. When she pointed that toy at me, I took it from her without a problem.”
With a nod, Larson lifted his revolver again and aimed it between Luke’s eyes.
A shot rang out.
Luke felt no pain. She blinked up at Larson.
He was still standing.
He missed, Luke thought hazily.
Then the revolver fell from Larson’s hands. He sank to his knees, his eyes wide with disbelief or pain as he clutched his chest. He swayed for a moment, then fell on his face.
“Damn, Bill!” Brody reached for his revolver.
Nora didn’t react. She stood frozen, staring down at Larson.
Luke drew her weapon. Pain zigzagged through her body and light spots danced in front of her eyes, but she ignored it all. Her gaze zeroed in on Brody and the revolver he directed at Nora. Just before her vision dimmed, she pulled the trigger, then the world around her grew dark and silent.
Nora let her still smoking revolver fall from her limp grasp. She stared at Bill Larson’s motionless body.
Another shot rang out.
She swiveled around.
Brody Cowen dropped his revolver that he had aimed at her and clutched his stomach.
Oh, Lord. He almost shot me. If not for Luke, I would be dead now. That thought and Cowen’s agonized cries made Nora dizzy. Bile rose in her throat. Her gaze fell on Larson’s body. I killed someone. She looked down, expecting to see blood on her hands, but they were clean.
The same thing couldn’t be said for Luke’s shirt. A large, red stain covered his shoulder and chest, and it quickly spread.
Nausea threatened to overwhelm Nora again. She leaned forward at the waist, gasping for breath.
When someone dragged the dying Brody Cowen away, Nora slowly straightened. You can fall apart later, now help Luke before he bleeds to death. The mere thought of Luke dying made her stomach lurch again, but this time, she forced down her panic and knelt down next to Luke. “Luke?” she whispered, pressing her apron against his left shoulder to stop the bleeding.
He didn’t answer. His eyes were closed. Only the weak rising and falling of his chest revealed that he was still alive.
When she reached for the buttons of his shirt to look at the wound, his eyes fluttered open. “Whadda you doin’?” he slurred.
Nora bit her lip. “Trying to save your life. Now lie still and let me—”
“No.”
“What?” Nora stared at him.
“Jus’ a scratch,” Luke mumbled.
Was he hallucinating? Nora wanted to beat some sense into him. “It’s not just a scratch, you damn stubborn idiot! You’ll be bleeding to death if you don’t let me help you.”
Bernice tried to peer around Nora. “How does the wound look? Did the bullet go straight through?”
“I’d know if this stubborn maniac didn’t refuse to let me look at the wound.” Nora clutched his uninjured shoulder. “Luke, please, let me help you! Please! I have no intention of becoming a widow anytime soon.”
Luke tried to lift his head but couldn’t. “A’ right,” he mumbled. “But not here. Wagon.”
Jacob, Tom, and some of the other men came running. “Christ, Bernice!” Jacob stared at them. “What happened?”
“No time for explanations,” Bernice said. “Help us get Luke settled in their wagon.”
With the help of the two men, they carried Luke over the parade ground and to the wagon just outside of the fort.
A few reassuring words to the sobbing Amy, who struggled against Emeline’s grip, then Nora climbed into the wagon and knelt down on one side of Luke while Bernice crawled in on the other.
When Nora looked down, she realized he had lost consciousness. She smoothed her palm over his face that was unnaturally pale except for the bruises that were already beginning to form. With a deep breath, she started to unbutton the bloodstained shirt. She eyed his slender, yet strong body, but then she called herself to order. This was neither the time nor the place to ogle Luke’s body.
“What’s this?” Bernice pointed at the bandages wrapped around Luke’s chest. “He was already hurt?”
“No. At least not that I know of.” How typical of Luke to heroically hide whatever injury he might have suffered on the trail. With a glance at the blood that was still seeping from somewhere beneath the wrappings, she quickly began to undo them. One last tug and the bandages fell away, revealing…
Nora gasped, blinked, then looked again. The image in front of her hadn’t changed. Instead of a hairy chest, she looked down at smooth skin and a pair of breasts. The breasts were small but couldn’t be mistaken for a man’s chest.
“Merciful heavens. W-what’s this?” Bernice sounded as shaky as Nora felt. “What’s the meaning of this? H-he…he’s a…a woman?”
Nora didn’t answer. She couldn’t. The only thing she could do was stare. A woman? No, no, no, that’s not possible.
“You didn’t know?” Bernice asked.
Nora mutely shook her head.
Both of them looked at the half-naked, bleeding stranger. “Let’s try to dress his…her wound,” Bernice finally said. “We can talk about this later.”
Nora watched as Bernice wiped the blood away and studied the wound.
Bernice gave her a nudge. “Help me turn him…her around. We have to see if the bullet went straight through or is still stuck inside.”
Bernice grasped the uninjured shoulder, but Nora hesitated to touch the pale body, almost afraid to graze the bare breasts by accident.
“Come on,” Bernice said.
Finally, Nora helped Bernice turn Luke around.
“He…she was really lucky. The bullet went right through without hitting any bones,” Bernice said. “Good. Then we don’t need to dig the bullet out.” She pressed a clean cloth against the exit wound to stop the bleeding.
Luke moaned without waking.
The sound of pain shook Nora from her stupor. Concentrating just on the wound and no other part of Luke’s body, she managed to pull herself together. She got their carbolic soap from the wagon box and helped Bernice clean the wound.
When they poured whiskey into the wound, Luke flinched but didn’t wake.
Finally, after half an hour, they had a thick bandage in place.
Bernice settled a blanket over the limp body, but Nora still found herself staring at the contours of Luke’s chest.
“Now, tell me how this is possible.” Bernice leaned back against a keg of pickles. “How did you end up being married to a woman?”
“I don’t know,” Nora whispered. “I don’t know anything anymore. Just when I thought I finally had the life I wanted… I should have known something would happen to take that away from me.”
“So I guess there really is no chance that the baby is Luke’s?” Bernice asked.
Nora shook her head. “And now I know why he always insisted that we would never have children together.” She couldn’t stop the bitterness from showing in her voice.
“You never…?” Bernice gestured between Nora and the unconscious woman. A blush covered her chubby cheeks.
“No. He said he didn’t expect that from me.” A lot of things about Luke now began to make sense—why he had refused to share her bed and didn’t let her see him naked. And Nora now understood why Tess had tried to stop her from marrying Luke, even though Luke was her friend. And that’s why he seemed to understand me better than any man before.
Bernice stood and straightened with a groan. “I think you need some time alone now. I’m gonna go and tell the others that Luke is still alive.”
Nora nodded numbly. Bernice was already climbing from the wagon when something occurred to her. “Bernice!”
“Yes?” The older woman peeked back in.
“Could you…I mean…would you please stay quiet and tell nobody about…about Luke? At least for now. Please?” Nobody was going to believe that she hadn’t known her husband was a woman. If their fellow travelers found out the truth, there was no telling what they would do. Maybe some hotheads would try to kill Luke or at least banish her from the train—and Nora wouldn’t be allowed to stay either. They would believe that she had committed unnatural acts with the woman who was her husband. Nora realized that she had to hide Luke’s secret because her own fate was inevitably interwoven with Luke’s.
“All right. I’ll keep quiet for now. And I’ll take care of Amy tonight.”
Then Bernice was gone, leaving Nora alone with her thoughts and a lot of unanswered questions. She stared down at Luke, scanned the calm face for any signs of female softness. It was the same familiar face as ever. Dark lashes rested against a face that was deeply tanned even though it had gone pale now. The best word that Nora found to describe Luke’s lips was “sensuous,” but the strong jaw and the stubborn chin prevented her from appearing too feminine. The nose was slightly crooked due to an old break. Fine lines around the now closed eyes attested to a life spent working outside under the burning sun. Nora could easily remember how the lines deepened when he smiled.
She, Nora corrected herself again. Slowly, with hesitation, she reached out a hand and touched Luke’s cheek with a single finger. The skin was as smooth as her own. Why did I never notice? I know more about men than most other women. I’ve been with young men, old men, rich and poor men, fat and thin men, but nobody has ever been like Luke. Why couldn’t I tell that she’s a woman? I should have known as soon as she refused to share my bed. Her self-doubts crept up again.
She watched over the unconscious woman for hours, lost in her thoughts and doubts. She had thought that she had gotten to know Luke, that he had started to reveal his innermost self to her, but now she realized she knew nothing about this stranger. Why did he visit a brothel if he…she’s a woman? To bolster her male identity? But why would he want to live as a man in the first place? And why did he ask me to marry him, knowing that it was all a farce? God, what will I do?
There were so many questions, and she would get no answers until Luke awoke. If he…she awakes and gets well. Nora was disappointed and hurt by the betrayal of yet another person in her life, but she didn’t wish Luke any harm. A part of her was still convinced of Luke’s honorable intentions.
The first gray light of predawn was already lighting the sky when Nora finally fell into a troubled sleep, dreaming about the stunned expression on Bill Larson’s face as she had pulled the trigger.
Thump. Thump. Thump. Pain radiated through her body with every beat of her heart. Luke blinked open heavy eyes. It took a few seconds for her to realize that she was resting on her back, lying in the wagon. Bill Larson. We fought. Nora shot him. And he shot me. Pain lanced through her shoulder.
Then, with another wave of pain, came the realization that Nora had probably discovered her secret by now. The last thing she remembered was being carried to the wagon. She weakly reached out her right hand and lifted the blanket covering her.
Damn, damn, damn. Her shirt was gone. A bandage covered her left shoulder and half of her chest, but it was not the wrapping that normally bound her breasts. Her breasts were bare, and she quickly tugged the blanket higher to cover them again. Too late. Nora has already seen what you are.
Her first instinct was to search for her clothes, run away, and start a new life somewhere else where no one knew that she was not what she appeared to be. But when she tried to sit up, she realized it wouldn’t be that easy. A wave of dizziness made her sink back. She closed her eyes as the pain and a feeling of hopelessness overcame her.
A scratching sound next to her made her open her eyes again.
Nora was asleep just a few inches away from her, half hidden between a bag of flour and the keg of pickles. Her face was pale, and a few strands of hair had gotten free of the tight knot at the back of her head. She was tossing and turning as if caught in the throes of a nightmare.
She’s still here. What does it mean? Luke didn’t dare to hope that Nora would forgive and accept her. She didn’t know how to face her.
At that very moment, Nora jerked upright with a cry and opened her eyes.
They found themselves staring at each other.
So many emotions seemed to swirl through Nora’s green eyes that Luke couldn’t tell them apart. Finally, she couldn’t stand the silence between them any longer. “I don’t know what to say,” she whispered.
Nora didn’t seem to know how to open up communication between them either.
“What happened to Brody and Larson?” Luke finally asked. Maybe it would be easier to start with something other than the discovery that must have shocked Nora.
Nora stared at her for long moments before she finally answered, “They’re both dead. You shot Brody, and I shot Larson when he tried to kill you.”
“Thank you.” Luke reached out a hand, intending to squeeze Nora’s hand in a gesture of gratefulness, but Nora flinched back before she could make contact.
“Don’t thank me,” Nora said with a rough voice. “I killed a human being. That’s hardly something to be thankful for.”
Luke knew from firsthand experience how hard taking a life could be. For her, it had changed everything, even how she had felt about herself. Add to that the discovery that she’s married to a woman, and it’s hardly surprising that Nora is one very confused individual. “I’m not thanking you for killing him. I’m thanking you for saving my life. Of course, now that you know who…what I am, you might not think that my life is worth saving.” She studied Nora intently, searching for a reaction.
Nora’s face didn’t reveal any emotions.
Working in the brothel taught her to hide her feelings.
“You saved my life before and when Brody wanted to shoot me, so it was only fair that I should save yours,” Nora finally said.
So she has paid the debt, and now she doesn’t owe me anything anymore. Is that what she’s saying? “Did you…did you tell anyone?”
“No.”
Luke exhaled sharply. So there might be a chance for her to resume her life and the role as captain of the train. At the very least, she had enough time to recover from her wound without an angry mob just waiting until she was healed enough to be chased off. “Thank you.”
“I didn’t do it for you. I did it to protect myself. And because I promised Tess.”
“Promised Tess?” Tess hadn’t told Nora anything, had she? “What do you mean?”
“Right before the wedding, she made me promise that I’d never give away any of your secrets.” Nora snorted. “She told me you’re not like other men. She knew, didn’t she?”
Luke nodded. “I’m sorry. I know you must feel betrayed by—”
Nora cut her off with a wave of her hand. “Bernice saw your body when we tended to your wound.”
Luke covered her eyes with the back of her hand. Wonderful. She groaned. The whole train probably knows by now. She propped herself up on her right elbow and tried to sit up.
“What the hell are you doing?” Nora asked.
“Where are my clothes?” Luke tried to look around, but her vision was blurry, and she swayed.
Nora frowned. “They’re covered in blood. But it doesn’t matter, you don’t need them at the moment.”
“I do—unless you want me to ride through camp like this.” Luke nodded down at her blanket-covered chest.
“I don’t want you to ride through camp at all. It would be your death.”
Does she still care whether I live or die? Luke’s right arm began to tremble as her strength dwindled. Groaning, she fell back onto her bedroll. When her vision cleared again, she looked into Nora’s glowering, green eyes. “I know that you must be angry, confused, and—”
Again, Nora didn’t let her finish her attempt to explain. “You don’t know anything about how I feel. I don’t even know what I’m feeling.”
Luke sighed. The friendship that had slowly grown between them seemed to be lost. They weren’t even able to talk anymore. “You can have the marriage annulled as soon as we reach Oregon.”
“I doubt I’ll even need an annulment—this marriage wasn’t exactly legal.” Nora’s voice was dripping with bitterness. “But it’s not as easy as that. An annulment won’t solve the problems you caused. If anyone finds out that you’re…” she hesitated, avoiding the word for a moment, “…a woman, it’s not only your life and your future that will be destroyed. My reputation will be affected too. No one will believe that I lived with you for four months without realizing that you’re not a man. I won’t be able to find another husband in Oregon if it becomes common knowledge that I was married to a woman.”
“I’m sorry. I never wanted—”
“I don’t want to hear it. I can’t talk about this right now.” With jerky movements, Nora stood and climbed from the wagon.
Nora stared into the clear water of the Boise River. She bent down, carefully keeping her balance that had shifted with the growth of her belly, and picked up a flat stone. She clenched her fingers around it, then raised her arm and threw the stone. It bounced off the water’s surface, once, then twice, before it finally sank. Nora stared at the spreading circles on the water, remembering the day when Luke had shown Amy how to throw a stone like this.
Back then, her life had seemed so perfect, but now, her hopes of leading a simple family life were shattered.
“How is Luke…or whatever else her name might be?”
Nora jerked when Bernice stepped next to her. “She was awake half an hour ago. I think she’ll survive.” It still took conscious effort to call Luke a “she.”
Amy was nowhere in sight. Nora stood alone, holding her small revolver with both hands. The barrel pointed at Larson, but it was visibly trembling.
Despite her own predicament, Luke felt a proud smile flit across her face.
“Oh, don’t worry, Bill, she won’t pull the trigger,” Brody Cowen said. “She doesn’t have the balls it takes to shoot someone. When she pointed that toy at me, I took it from her without a problem.”
With a nod, Larson lifted his revolver again and aimed it between Luke’s eyes.
A shot rang out.
Luke felt no pain. She blinked up at Larson.
He was still standing.
He missed, Luke thought hazily.
Then the revolver fell from Larson’s hands. He sank to his knees, his eyes wide with disbelief or pain as he clutched his chest. He swayed for a moment, then fell on his face.
“Damn, Bill!” Brody reached for his revolver.
Nora didn’t react. She stood frozen, staring down at Larson.
Luke drew her weapon. Pain zigzagged through her body and light spots danced in front of her eyes, but she ignored it all. Her gaze zeroed in on Brody and the revolver he directed at Nora. Just before her vision dimmed, she pulled the trigger, then the world around her grew dark and silent.
Nora let her still smoking revolver fall from her limp grasp. She stared at Bill Larson’s motionless body.
Another shot rang out.
She swiveled around.
Brody Cowen dropped his revolver that he had aimed at her and clutched his stomach.
Oh, Lord. He almost shot me. If not for Luke, I would be dead now. That thought and Cowen’s agonized cries made Nora dizzy. Bile rose in her throat. Her gaze fell on Larson’s body. I killed someone. She looked down, expecting to see blood on her hands, but they were clean.
The same thing couldn’t be said for Luke’s shirt. A large, red stain covered his shoulder and chest, and it quickly spread.
Nausea threatened to overwhelm Nora again. She leaned forward at the waist, gasping for breath.
When someone dragged the dying Brody Cowen away, Nora slowly straightened. You can fall apart later, now help Luke before he bleeds to death. The mere thought of Luke dying made her stomach lurch again, but this time, she forced down her panic and knelt down next to Luke. “Luke?” she whispered, pressing her apron against his left shoulder to stop the bleeding.
He didn’t answer. His eyes were closed. Only the weak rising and falling of his chest revealed that he was still alive.
When she reached for the buttons of his shirt to look at the wound, his eyes fluttered open. “Whadda you doin’?” he slurred.
Nora bit her lip. “Trying to save your life. Now lie still and let me—”
“No.”
“What?” Nora stared at him.
“Jus’ a scratch,” Luke mumbled.
Was he hallucinating? Nora wanted to beat some sense into him. “It’s not just a scratch, you damn stubborn idiot! You’ll be bleeding to death if you don’t let me help you.”
Bernice tried to peer around Nora. “How does the wound look? Did the bullet go straight through?”
“I’d know if this stubborn maniac didn’t refuse to let me look at the wound.” Nora clutched his uninjured shoulder. “Luke, please, let me help you! Please! I have no intention of becoming a widow anytime soon.”
Luke tried to lift his head but couldn’t. “A’ right,” he mumbled. “But not here. Wagon.”
Jacob, Tom, and some of the other men came running. “Christ, Bernice!” Jacob stared at them. “What happened?”
“No time for explanations,” Bernice said. “Help us get Luke settled in their wagon.”
With the help of the two men, they carried Luke over the parade ground and to the wagon just outside of the fort.
A few reassuring words to the sobbing Amy, who struggled against Emeline’s grip, then Nora climbed into the wagon and knelt down on one side of Luke while Bernice crawled in on the other.
When Nora looked down, she realized he had lost consciousness. She smoothed her palm over his face that was unnaturally pale except for the bruises that were already beginning to form. With a deep breath, she started to unbutton the bloodstained shirt. She eyed his slender, yet strong body, but then she called herself to order. This was neither the time nor the place to ogle Luke’s body.
“What’s this?” Bernice pointed at the bandages wrapped around Luke’s chest. “He was already hurt?”
“No. At least not that I know of.” How typical of Luke to heroically hide whatever injury he might have suffered on the trail. With a glance at the blood that was still seeping from somewhere beneath the wrappings, she quickly began to undo them. One last tug and the bandages fell away, revealing…
Nora gasped, blinked, then looked again. The image in front of her hadn’t changed. Instead of a hairy chest, she looked down at smooth skin and a pair of breasts. The breasts were small but couldn’t be mistaken for a man’s chest.
“Merciful heavens. W-what’s this?” Bernice sounded as shaky as Nora felt. “What’s the meaning of this? H-he…he’s a…a woman?”
Nora didn’t answer. She couldn’t. The only thing she could do was stare. A woman? No, no, no, that’s not possible.
“You didn’t know?” Bernice asked.
Nora mutely shook her head.
Both of them looked at the half-naked, bleeding stranger. “Let’s try to dress his…her wound,” Bernice finally said. “We can talk about this later.”
Nora watched as Bernice wiped the blood away and studied the wound.
Bernice gave her a nudge. “Help me turn him…her around. We have to see if the bullet went straight through or is still stuck inside.”
Bernice grasped the uninjured shoulder, but Nora hesitated to touch the pale body, almost afraid to graze the bare breasts by accident.
“Come on,” Bernice said.
Finally, Nora helped Bernice turn Luke around.
“He…she was really lucky. The bullet went right through without hitting any bones,” Bernice said. “Good. Then we don’t need to dig the bullet out.” She pressed a clean cloth against the exit wound to stop the bleeding.
Luke moaned without waking.
The sound of pain shook Nora from her stupor. Concentrating just on the wound and no other part of Luke’s body, she managed to pull herself together. She got their carbolic soap from the wagon box and helped Bernice clean the wound.
When they poured whiskey into the wound, Luke flinched but didn’t wake.
Finally, after half an hour, they had a thick bandage in place.
Bernice settled a blanket over the limp body, but Nora still found herself staring at the contours of Luke’s chest.
“Now, tell me how this is possible.” Bernice leaned back against a keg of pickles. “How did you end up being married to a woman?”
“I don’t know,” Nora whispered. “I don’t know anything anymore. Just when I thought I finally had the life I wanted… I should have known something would happen to take that away from me.”
“So I guess there really is no chance that the baby is Luke’s?” Bernice asked.
Nora shook her head. “And now I know why he always insisted that we would never have children together.” She couldn’t stop the bitterness from showing in her voice.
“You never…?” Bernice gestured between Nora and the unconscious woman. A blush covered her chubby cheeks.
“No. He said he didn’t expect that from me.” A lot of things about Luke now began to make sense—why he had refused to share her bed and didn’t let her see him naked. And Nora now understood why Tess had tried to stop her from marrying Luke, even though Luke was her friend. And that’s why he seemed to understand me better than any man before.
Bernice stood and straightened with a groan. “I think you need some time alone now. I’m gonna go and tell the others that Luke is still alive.”
Nora nodded numbly. Bernice was already climbing from the wagon when something occurred to her. “Bernice!”
“Yes?” The older woman peeked back in.
“Could you…I mean…would you please stay quiet and tell nobody about…about Luke? At least for now. Please?” Nobody was going to believe that she hadn’t known her husband was a woman. If their fellow travelers found out the truth, there was no telling what they would do. Maybe some hotheads would try to kill Luke or at least banish her from the train—and Nora wouldn’t be allowed to stay either. They would believe that she had committed unnatural acts with the woman who was her husband. Nora realized that she had to hide Luke’s secret because her own fate was inevitably interwoven with Luke’s.
“All right. I’ll keep quiet for now. And I’ll take care of Amy tonight.”
Then Bernice was gone, leaving Nora alone with her thoughts and a lot of unanswered questions. She stared down at Luke, scanned the calm face for any signs of female softness. It was the same familiar face as ever. Dark lashes rested against a face that was deeply tanned even though it had gone pale now. The best word that Nora found to describe Luke’s lips was “sensuous,” but the strong jaw and the stubborn chin prevented her from appearing too feminine. The nose was slightly crooked due to an old break. Fine lines around the now closed eyes attested to a life spent working outside under the burning sun. Nora could easily remember how the lines deepened when he smiled.
She, Nora corrected herself again. Slowly, with hesitation, she reached out a hand and touched Luke’s cheek with a single finger. The skin was as smooth as her own. Why did I never notice? I know more about men than most other women. I’ve been with young men, old men, rich and poor men, fat and thin men, but nobody has ever been like Luke. Why couldn’t I tell that she’s a woman? I should have known as soon as she refused to share my bed. Her self-doubts crept up again.
She watched over the unconscious woman for hours, lost in her thoughts and doubts. She had thought that she had gotten to know Luke, that he had started to reveal his innermost self to her, but now she realized she knew nothing about this stranger. Why did he visit a brothel if he…she’s a woman? To bolster her male identity? But why would he want to live as a man in the first place? And why did he ask me to marry him, knowing that it was all a farce? God, what will I do?
There were so many questions, and she would get no answers until Luke awoke. If he…she awakes and gets well. Nora was disappointed and hurt by the betrayal of yet another person in her life, but she didn’t wish Luke any harm. A part of her was still convinced of Luke’s honorable intentions.
The first gray light of predawn was already lighting the sky when Nora finally fell into a troubled sleep, dreaming about the stunned expression on Bill Larson’s face as she had pulled the trigger.
Thump. Thump. Thump. Pain radiated through her body with every beat of her heart. Luke blinked open heavy eyes. It took a few seconds for her to realize that she was resting on her back, lying in the wagon. Bill Larson. We fought. Nora shot him. And he shot me. Pain lanced through her shoulder.
Then, with another wave of pain, came the realization that Nora had probably discovered her secret by now. The last thing she remembered was being carried to the wagon. She weakly reached out her right hand and lifted the blanket covering her.
Damn, damn, damn. Her shirt was gone. A bandage covered her left shoulder and half of her chest, but it was not the wrapping that normally bound her breasts. Her breasts were bare, and she quickly tugged the blanket higher to cover them again. Too late. Nora has already seen what you are.
Her first instinct was to search for her clothes, run away, and start a new life somewhere else where no one knew that she was not what she appeared to be. But when she tried to sit up, she realized it wouldn’t be that easy. A wave of dizziness made her sink back. She closed her eyes as the pain and a feeling of hopelessness overcame her.
A scratching sound next to her made her open her eyes again.
Nora was asleep just a few inches away from her, half hidden between a bag of flour and the keg of pickles. Her face was pale, and a few strands of hair had gotten free of the tight knot at the back of her head. She was tossing and turning as if caught in the throes of a nightmare.
She’s still here. What does it mean? Luke didn’t dare to hope that Nora would forgive and accept her. She didn’t know how to face her.
At that very moment, Nora jerked upright with a cry and opened her eyes.
They found themselves staring at each other.
So many emotions seemed to swirl through Nora’s green eyes that Luke couldn’t tell them apart. Finally, she couldn’t stand the silence between them any longer. “I don’t know what to say,” she whispered.
Nora didn’t seem to know how to open up communication between them either.
“What happened to Brody and Larson?” Luke finally asked. Maybe it would be easier to start with something other than the discovery that must have shocked Nora.
Nora stared at her for long moments before she finally answered, “They’re both dead. You shot Brody, and I shot Larson when he tried to kill you.”
“Thank you.” Luke reached out a hand, intending to squeeze Nora’s hand in a gesture of gratefulness, but Nora flinched back before she could make contact.
“Don’t thank me,” Nora said with a rough voice. “I killed a human being. That’s hardly something to be thankful for.”
Luke knew from firsthand experience how hard taking a life could be. For her, it had changed everything, even how she had felt about herself. Add to that the discovery that she’s married to a woman, and it’s hardly surprising that Nora is one very confused individual. “I’m not thanking you for killing him. I’m thanking you for saving my life. Of course, now that you know who…what I am, you might not think that my life is worth saving.” She studied Nora intently, searching for a reaction.
Nora’s face didn’t reveal any emotions.
Working in the brothel taught her to hide her feelings.
“You saved my life before and when Brody wanted to shoot me, so it was only fair that I should save yours,” Nora finally said.
So she has paid the debt, and now she doesn’t owe me anything anymore. Is that what she’s saying? “Did you…did you tell anyone?”
“No.”
Luke exhaled sharply. So there might be a chance for her to resume her life and the role as captain of the train. At the very least, she had enough time to recover from her wound without an angry mob just waiting until she was healed enough to be chased off. “Thank you.”
“I didn’t do it for you. I did it to protect myself. And because I promised Tess.”
“Promised Tess?” Tess hadn’t told Nora anything, had she? “What do you mean?”
“Right before the wedding, she made me promise that I’d never give away any of your secrets.” Nora snorted. “She told me you’re not like other men. She knew, didn’t she?”
Luke nodded. “I’m sorry. I know you must feel betrayed by—”
Nora cut her off with a wave of her hand. “Bernice saw your body when we tended to your wound.”
Luke covered her eyes with the back of her hand. Wonderful. She groaned. The whole train probably knows by now. She propped herself up on her right elbow and tried to sit up.
“What the hell are you doing?” Nora asked.
“Where are my clothes?” Luke tried to look around, but her vision was blurry, and she swayed.
Nora frowned. “They’re covered in blood. But it doesn’t matter, you don’t need them at the moment.”
“I do—unless you want me to ride through camp like this.” Luke nodded down at her blanket-covered chest.
“I don’t want you to ride through camp at all. It would be your death.”
Does she still care whether I live or die? Luke’s right arm began to tremble as her strength dwindled. Groaning, she fell back onto her bedroll. When her vision cleared again, she looked into Nora’s glowering, green eyes. “I know that you must be angry, confused, and—”
Again, Nora didn’t let her finish her attempt to explain. “You don’t know anything about how I feel. I don’t even know what I’m feeling.”
Luke sighed. The friendship that had slowly grown between them seemed to be lost. They weren’t even able to talk anymore. “You can have the marriage annulled as soon as we reach Oregon.”
“I doubt I’ll even need an annulment—this marriage wasn’t exactly legal.” Nora’s voice was dripping with bitterness. “But it’s not as easy as that. An annulment won’t solve the problems you caused. If anyone finds out that you’re…” she hesitated, avoiding the word for a moment, “…a woman, it’s not only your life and your future that will be destroyed. My reputation will be affected too. No one will believe that I lived with you for four months without realizing that you’re not a man. I won’t be able to find another husband in Oregon if it becomes common knowledge that I was married to a woman.”
“I’m sorry. I never wanted—”
“I don’t want to hear it. I can’t talk about this right now.” With jerky movements, Nora stood and climbed from the wagon.
Nora stared into the clear water of the Boise River. She bent down, carefully keeping her balance that had shifted with the growth of her belly, and picked up a flat stone. She clenched her fingers around it, then raised her arm and threw the stone. It bounced off the water’s surface, once, then twice, before it finally sank. Nora stared at the spreading circles on the water, remembering the day when Luke had shown Amy how to throw a stone like this.
Back then, her life had seemed so perfect, but now, her hopes of leading a simple family life were shattered.
“How is Luke…or whatever else her name might be?”
Nora jerked when Bernice stepped next to her. “She was awake half an hour ago. I think she’ll survive.” It still took conscious effort to call Luke a “she.”
