Personal Possessions, page 31
“He doesn’t know that you know and I’m still not leaving him. They don’t know any different TJ, they don’t know about you. They know Rachel is my best friend, but they don’t know that she is their blood relative.”
I closed my eyes at this information.
That’s when I started:
“I couldn’t make myself write your name to address this letter to you, every time I’d start to I’d find myself shaking.
I need you to think of three things when you think of me, baby.
Remember today, the day you left for college, us standing together and I looked you in the eyes and vowed to you, that no matter what, I was anchored to you forever and always. Honey, don’t forget that. You give my life meaning. You are the reason I am who I am and I am with you always. Please don’t ever forget me because you will continually be the only thought that runs through my mind. Remember that I love you. My love for you is like a river, it continually runs strong and never does it recede. Remember that throughout your lifetime. Everything that I have done and that I am doing and will do in my life is because of my love for you. You were my first love, my only love and my love on my dying day. Be happy, baby! I want you to find someone that will make you as happy as you have made me. Never will I be able to know that kind of happy again. You deserve everything you have set out for, my love. Go…be what you are destined to be; a shining light. The warmth of you heart, the strength that you possess and your keen knowledge have been blessed to you for a reason, fulfill that purpose. I want you to find someone that you can grow old with, that can make all your pain subside and give you memories that will be treasured between the two of you until you pass. You carry with you half of my heart, my love, whether you like it or not. Keep it locked tight, don’t ever harm it and know that you are forever loved.”
Elle looked up at me as though she couldn’t believe what she was hearing.
“Did you hear what I said….everyday….”
I wiped my eyes, but it didn’t help. They filled right back up with tears again that quick.
“Every day for four years, I woke up and read that letter.”
I started to walk over to Elle and stood right in front of her and repeated what I had just said, just in case she was having hearing problems.
“For four years, I read that letter before I went to bed. It consumed me, I thought about what I did wrong, where we went wrong and why the fuck you would marry him.”
“Trev-“
Her time for talking was through. For seven days straight, I begged and pleaded with her to talk to me and now she wanted to talk…too bad; it was my turn to say what I had to say.
“No! You don’t get to talk now! You’re time to come clean has come and gone. Every day was a continuous struggle to even take a breath, Elle. I lived my life hour to hour not even day to day.”
I had to stop because I was about to lose my temper. This was when Elle cut in.
“I was eighteen, TJ…I thought that what I was doing was for the best. You have everything-“
“I didn’t have my family!!”
I roared over her finishing her statement.
I pulled back and hid my face.
Immediately, Elle placed her head back in her hands and started crying.
“You had no right to keep that from me, Elleny. You wanted me to go out and achieve all this… shit, this actually means nothing to me….all this….”
I looked around the huge hotel suite that was covered in materialistic items, things that were broken and scattered everywhere; just like my heart. Elle was now huddled down on the floor.
“…this means nothing to me when I would’ve been satisfied with you in a small house, attending community college, getting to see you…..”
I paused again, taking a breath to keep my composure.
”…pregnant with my babies…being able to watch them walk….teaching….Luc…”
I couldn’t even find the strength to say my son’s name. This was killing me.
“…all my football moves….not fucking Bear’s….mine! If you had known me the way you say you had, you would’ve known that would’ve been worth all of this, tenfold to me.”
I got up and went into my hotel room and I locked the door. I couldn’t look at her right then and there. I needed to get my shit together and calm down.
Then I was going to go to bed so that, first thing tomorrow morning I figured out how in the hell to legally become my children’s father.
Chapter 21
“…That’s not good enough, Loren! I need it ASAP!”
I had been on the phone all morning trying to find out whatever I could on the chaotic situations that I now had to deal with all at one time; adding my name to my children’s birth certificates, making me legally their father, getting this move over with and finally squared away and then taking care of what I knew I couldn’t run away from anymore…Elle.
I was still feeling the sting of what occurred between Elle and me. I couldn’t think of that day without the pain of the dull knife being stabbed straight through my heart. Hearing those words leave Elle’s mouth over and over in my head made nothing but anger and rage soar up from the tips of my feet to the top of my head.
“They don’t know any different TJ, they don’t know about you.”
“You had no right to make that decision on your own.”
I spoke out loud to an empty office. We would see about that, I would make sure that they would end up knowing me.
There was one silver colored lining to this whole clusterfuck of a mess, I ended up with two beautiful kids…a boy and a girl. The thought of them made me smile.
I picked up my phone and called out to Mary who was sitting at her desk, basking in the sunlight that beamed from the smile that was across her face. I could hear the phone buzzing out there as she went to pick it up.
“Yes, Mr. McHale”
“Mary, remember the judge that I had made the campaign contribution to months ago?”
“I remember it, sir but I don’t have his information right in front of me. Would you like me to get if for you?”
“Yes…I think I might have an idea.”
As soon as she left, I picked up the phone and called the only person that could help me pull off what I needed to have done.
“Hello?”
“We need to talk.”
Three weeks had passed since Elle slipped out of the hotel room there in Burlington and I have not tried to make contact with her, that didn’t mean that I hadn’t seen her. I was making plans and putting more pieces to the puzzle together since I was now officially back in the Richland area.
Kip had gone to the police and let them know what we had found out about Bear and Bubba’s little drug cartel, that happened to be found in the back room of Topper’s strip club. Kip told me that the surveillance around the place was huge. I made sure that he earned double for placing someone out in front of Elle’s house to watch for Bear, from what I had heard, he hadn’t been around in a while but my main concern was not only for Elle, but for my kids.
I made sure to keep an ear open at work to see if anyone would mention his name; still weeks later…nothing.
I sat at my desk looking over paperwork that Loren had sent me, when Ruby approached my desk.
“This came for you, Mr. McHale.”
I took the large envelope from her and took a deep breath…it was Luc and JoJo’s new birth certificates, they were finally here.
The day after Elle left, I called Rachel and told her that I knew everything. I wasn’t up to speaking with Elle, so I sent Rachel to get some hair samples from the kids. We argued back and forth for a minute, that was until I blew up on her for knowing Elle’s secret and not coming clean…her story to tell or not we were blood and they were my blood. She went and got the hair samples and sent them to a college friend of hers that worked in some lab on the school’s campus now. I paid double to get the result quicker.
Of course, the kids DNA came back as a complete match to mine. I had Rach fax me the report and took all the paperwork I needed into Judge Hernandez’s office.
I ended up speaking with Judge Hernandez, he had been away for a week long family vacation, so as soon as we spoke, he was going to expedite the process and send out the new birth certificates right away.
Now, here we were…the proof that I was a father sat right between my fingers. I picked up the phone to call Rachel to set up the next step in my plan. I was ready to get it set into motion.
“Hey.”
“It’s time, Rach.”
“Trev, I don’t think I can do this.”
“Right now, Rachel…I really don’t give a shit what you think you can and can’t do. Now, you’re gonna hang up the phone with me and call Elle. You’re going to set up a lunch date…at where I said to set it up and then you’re going to drop her off and go the fuck away.”
I’m sure she could tell I was still very angry.
“Fine.”
I heard the click of the phone being disconnected. I put the receiver down and opened up the envelope as I stared at my name underneath the names of my kids who still bared the last name “Jackson”. I suddenly felt nauseous. That was the next step, changing their last names; and that couldn’t happen soon enough.
I called the country club and made my luncheon reservation. I made sure they seated us in a room that was private…very private.
I stopped by Ruby’s desk to tell her I wasn’t coming back the rest of the day and she winked at me. I had to remember, I wasn’t in Burlington anymore. I was back in Richland…I just rolled my eyes and took a deep breath.
I walked out to my car and heard the chimes of my cell phone ringing in my pocket. I got to my car and stopped, so that I could answer my phone, I saw that it was Kip so I answered right away.
“What’s going on?”
“They found a body in the river last night…wanna take a guess on whose it was?”
If I could have guessed and hoped, I would’ve said Willie Jackson, but seeing how Elle wasn’t ringing my phone off the hook, I took that not to be a prayer that was going to be answered today.
“Someone I know?” I said.
“Angela St. Clair.”
I couldn’t say that I knew her, I hadn’t ever heard that name before in my life. I was quiet for a moment. Kip must’ve caught on.
“Man-whore…not sure as to what did it…overdose or your buddy’s brother, just know, fisherman found her face down in his favorite fishin’ spot.”
Shit, that was Bear’s woman. She was dead and in the river, this was not going to be good for Elle. I was thinking maybe I should be speaking with someone other than a PI.
“So where do we go from here?”
I threw my brief case in the back of the car as I listened to Kip go on about keeping our pants on, this wasn’t prom night… whatever the fuck that meant.
“I got the house covered and your other buddy, Noland…I think he can take care of his, seein’ as how he’s a man of the law.”
I knew Bear was not going to be a happy camper. I started to wonder if Elle had contact with him lately.
“Maybe someone should contact Elle to see if she’s spoke with him.”
I heard the air leave Kip’s lungs as he exhaled his cigarette smoke out the window while he drove only god knows where.
“Didn’t you just hear what I told you, McHale…it aint time to expose ourselves yet…the house is watched. Nothing’s gonna happen. Why worry a woman when ya don’t have to…they do enough bitchin’ for shit they just think up.”
“Kip, sometimes I don’t understand a fuckin’ word you say!”
“That makes two of us, McHale.”
He laughed his smoky laugh as I heard him hang up the phone.
Crazy ole man.
I thought to myself.
Reaching the country club, I decided to step into the bar for a moment, I was early and wound tight. I was like a bomb ready to explode at any minute. I asked the bartender for a Jack straight up on the rocks and in no time, I was sipping on the smooth liquor that always made me feel comforted. I felt as though I was back to where I was before I stepped into that conference room…alone. I never wanted to be there again, yet here I was.
I finished off my drink and raised my glass asking for one more. I looked at my watch, Rachel was set to arrive in fifteen minutes. I grabbed my drink and set up a tab, shit knows…I just might end up needing it.
Walking down the hall, this place was like I never left it. I had basically grown up here, my mom and her balls and galas. As a child, there wasn’t a weekend I didn’t find myself here, laying down in the back room, watching cartoons until I’d nod off, then have to be carried out at all hours of the night. I didn’t blame my mom, it was what she loved. I knew that I would’ve never picked that life for my children.
What was I talking about, I didn’t have a say so in my children’s lives. Here they were, seventeen…about to go away to college and I missed out on everything. The more I thought about it, the madder I became. I cleared my mind with a sip of Jack and continued walking down towards the dining room.
Finding the maître d was easy, it was finding this room that was difficult. We were back in a newer section of the club where no one was allow to come. The view was beautiful but I wasn’t there for that. I sat down and stared at the plate that was in front of me. I felt against my jacket pocket to make sure that I still had the documents and they were still secure.
I finished off my drink only moments before the door opened and there she stood. Elle, as though not a day had passed. Her body produced a vibe that was so calming because as she walked closer to me, the more I felt it. Comforting and reassuring me that all would be ok. I’m not even sure she knew she did this to me.
As she arrived, I heard her voice thanking the maître d for showing her to the table. I smiled and stood. As soon as she sat, I returned to my seat and immediately begun in the discussions, after all…this was the main reason why we were here.
“Elleny…”
Elle’s eyes came up to meet mine and I knew we were both on the same page…her heart was laying right there in front of me as mine was for her.
I cleared my throat, pushing away the thought.
“We need to talk, Elle.”
Chapter 22
Here we were, sitting in this amazing dining room, the view was unexplainable and yet the both of us could look at nothing but each other. I made my face as hard as stone so that she knew…I hadn’t forgotten.
“You wanna talk to me…now? Three weeks ago I was practically begging you to talk to me, but what, that wasn’t a good time for you…is that it….everything has to be done on your timetable, Trevor? Well…I’m sorry, I don’t work that way.”
Obviously, neither had she. Elle got up quickly as to leave the room, there was not going to be any running away again. Her time for dramatic exits were done…finished.
“Please, sit. This meeting isn’t about us, this is about our children. I want to meet them, get to know them; I want to be a part of their lives. I’ve missed out on everything. Please Elle, I don’t want to miss out on anything else.”
I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt that she would work with me here. I wanted the decision to be left up to her. Bear was nothing but a bystander in this equation now, I would make sure that my children were safe.
“I’m sorry Trevor, I can’t take that chance. Now if you’ll excuse me…”
Elle went to stand up, I joined her.
“What if I’m not asking, Elleny…what if I’m telling you.”
Elle turned around quickly, in a defensive stance as I reached into my jacket pocket and pulled out the birth certificates and laid them on the plate in front of her.
There they were, right in front of her face. Two brand new copies of my children’s birth certificates; completely filled out and legal. Once where there was no father’s name now read…mine.
TREVOR JORDAN McHALE
“I’ve made some friends in high places.”
I said in a snide way, I didn’t mean too…well, ya maybe I did.
“You bastard! Do you know what you’ve just done? You’ve signed my death certificate. He’s gonna fuckin kill me, Trevor and he’s gonna take my kids….no our kids and no one will ever find them.”
Elle went to walk away from me again, but this time I reached out and took her arm in my hand.
“Elle wait.”
She pulled her arm from my grasp harshly.
”Wait for what Trevor… for you to come to my house and tell my kids, a perfect stranger to them, that you’re their father? Or wait for the guillotine to come down on top of me while I sleep…you do what you’ve gotta do, Trevor cuz I’m gonna do what I’ve gotta do.”
Elle walked out of the dining room and down the hall, I could hear her whimpering as she walked. I didn’t want to cause a scene, so I quietly followed her until we reached the parking lot. She was looking around, probably for Rachel who I made sure was gone…she wasn’t coming back. See, that was the main part of my plan, there was no options other than the one I was getting ready to present to Elle. We were going to sit here and work at it until there was no other door to open. I knew that we both wanted to be together, we were both secret free. We were starting over…our slates were clean.
I saw Elle reach into her bag and pull out her cellphone. I grabbed her hand before she had a chance to open it. She needed to hear what I had to say.
“I want us to be together, Elle….I want us to be a family.”
Elle’s eyes meet mine and immediately fill with tears. I wrapped her up in my arms and just held her. There was no more running…there was no more denying. This was us; Trevor and Elleny. Two little kids who played telephone and made a promise that one day we would be a family. It took us awhile and a whole lot of walls that tried to keep us apart, but we were here…in this moment and we needed to be together. We wouldn’t be able to survive if we weren’t.
“Nothing’s gonna pull us apart this time, Elle. He’s not gonna hurt you anymore or my kids.”
