Personal Possessions, page 18
I think I scared her, and that was the last thing I ever meant to do. But right now, I needed her with me, where I was. I could see her holding back the tears, blinking quickly.
“I’m not made of glass, TJ.”
All I could do was close my eyes, and listen to her say my name again
“God, how I’ve missed hearing you same my name.”
“I’ve changed, TJ I’m not that naive little girl anymore.”
The tone in her voice had become deeper as though she wanted her authority to stand out in her words.
“I know you, Elle, I’ve been inside you. I know you better than anyone has, or ever will. I know that you still think of me, and you’re all that’s on my mind.”
“Shut up!”
“You consume me, Elle. All. Of. Me. And I know that you still feel something for me, because we are anchored together Elle, you know it.”
“I’m warning you, TJ. Shut the fuck up!”
I couldn’t stop now. Wouldn’t stop! I needed her to know how I felt, because I could see she felt the same for me. Nothing had changed. Sure, we had grown up but our love was still alive and kicking in the both of us, and that needed to be acknowledged.
“I’ve seen it permanently inked on you Elle, and I know you’re always next to my heart.”
Opening up my shirt, I pulled out the chain that never left my neck. My reminder of us, coupled together.
“It never leaves my neck, babe. You are with me constantly.”
I am finally breaking through. I can see it in her eyes, she wants to give in. Then she closes her eyes. It’s gone.
“TJ, this is never going to happen, you can’t even begin-“
Suddenly, Hank comes on over the intercom and informs us that we were starting our descent into Burlington. I closed my eyes and cursed him. Elle had shut down, and was fastening her seat belt. Her eyes came back to mine, but I didn’t say a word. Just kept staring at her. There would never be anyone else for me, ever. This woman in front of me was all I needed, she sustained me. Nurtured me. She was my life.
I felt the plane beginning to drop down, and decided that I needed to go back to my seat, so I leaned over and kissed Elle’s forehead.
I wanted to make sure that she knew that what I said, I meant. I could see by her face that everything I had said to her was still sinking in.
“That’s it darlin’. Keep thinking about all I’ve said to you. You have an hour to get settled in your room, shower and dress. I’m taking you to dinner, nothing fancy; jeans will be fine.”
I leaned down and laid one gentle kiss on her cheek, and walked back to my seat.
I watched Elle’s face as we drove up to the hotel. It was a bit overwhelming for the farm girl who never got out of Richland, Georgia, but she would never admit that. I walked over to Elle and grabbed her hand, leading her inside the hotel.
The lobby was warm and inviting. Flowers positioned all over the area. I guess when the decorator came to an area that she had no idea what to do with, she just placed expensive vases of flowers there.
“Ahhhh… Mr. McHale, nice to see you again. How may we assist you this evening?” Simon, the man I had spoken to a few days before greeted us.
He was up to speed on why I was here, and knew exactly what I was in need of. I had to make it look good for Elle that is, like it was just a spur of the moment reservation. If she had known that I would be joining her here, she would never have come.
“Why hello, Simon. I need a suite, perhaps the penthouse if available? I apologize for the last minute scheduling, but this trip was thrown together at the last minute.”
He caught on to what I was saying, and my plan, he damn well ought ‘a. I probably paid off his car with the tip I left him.
“Of course sir, the penthouse suite is available. Two rooms, both with king size beds. Will there be anything else this evening, Mr. McHale?”
“No, Simon that will be all. Please bill it to Mac-Gentry”
“Yes sir, please enjoy your stay with us.”
I saw Elle come up beside me as I finished my discussion with Simon. I’m sure she was a bit confused, but that endearing smile never left her face. I could not wait to get her upstairs because this little adventure was just getting started.
Walking towards the elevators, Elle leaned closer. I breathed her in in deeply, saturating myself in her sweet-scented skin. Allowing it to conquer me. If she would’ve asked me to go down on my knees right there, in the middle of that lobby and lick her pussy all night long, I wouldn’t even question it.
“Ummmm, what did he mean by your?”
I almost jerked coming back to my senses, I had to get a hold of myself, and these thoughts were getting out of control. Elle brought them out of me. I couldn’t stop them, no matter how hard I tried.
“What do you think he meant, Elle?”
“I’m thinking that statement was meant for me, and not you.”
Entering the elevator, people began to push in after us, pinning us to the back wall. My body desperately thought that this would be a good time to catch a feel, but I restrained myself. I told her, I was not going to say a word. It would be her asking me. “I’m thinking you misunderstood something.”
“You’re not! No, that’s not possible. Why would you stay here? Wait, TJ, you’re not staying here right?”
I had her panicky again, and loved causing such emotion in her. I could read her like a book when she was this flustered. All Elle’s true feelings were made known, she was scared. Not of me, but what she knew she couldn’t resist. Well, maybe she was scared of me. She was also excited, she’d never tell me that she was, but I could recognize it.
As we passed floors, more of the riders would step out until there were only a few left in there. Deciding I’d give her something to look forward to I gently stroked her hand. I could see her shiver, feel the electrifying sensation that her skin against mine gave off. It was incredible. Watching her eyes close, against her will, I could see her fight it, but it was too powerful. She was lost in the sensations, as was I.
Suddenly, Elle pulled her hand up and folded both of her arms over her chest. The moment disappeared instantly. This game she was playing was so fuckin’ frustrating, I would jump ahead two steps and fall back four. There was no way I could allow her to know that she was getting to me.
Smiling, I allowed myself to relish in the moment that we just had.
We went up four more floors, and more people stepped off the elevator. Despite the fact the amount of bodies in this small enclosed space was lessening, we stayed right where we were. Hitting the ninth floor, all but one person had stepped off, and there we stood. Elle’s eyes came over to me through the reflection on the wall, as I stared deep into her soul. She began looking at me. All of me. It almost seemed as though she was scheming.
She looked away, as though she was attempting to run from the thoughts that consumed her mind. I almost wanted to let her in on the fact that there was no way to outrun them. I should know, I’ve desperately tried to run from them for seventeen years. Your best bet is just to give into them, and be done with it.
“Is there a problem?”
Now, when will she ever learn about asking me, Trevor McHale, open ended questions like that? This was just too easy.
I leaned over, as close as I could, so that she could feel the intense heat my body was exuding. She brought out a side of me, I haven’t felt or seen in years. Women tended to throw themselves at me, I was never the aggressor. I didn’t have to try, but this was Elleny, and she was so much more than what I was used to having.
My body ached for her, my cock continuously hard from the thoughts that consumed me like a wildfire. I needed release, and the only way I was going to find it with was with Elle.
“Oh no problem Elle, I’m just imagining what you would look like with your legs wrapped around me while you rode my cock up against this elevator wall right here.”
Elle’s mouth fell open as her face went blank. I went back to where I was standing, as I knew that her mind was now at the point of either blowing or she was going to need a longer shower. I was hoping for the latter, with me invited. I began laughing at her reaction, there was still one man left in the elevator so it wasn’t as though I could push her up against the elevator wall and show her how fucking serious I was. The doors opened, and the last man stepped out of the elevator. As the doors closed again, I grabbed Elle by her shoulders to move her to the side, so that I could slide the keycard into the slot to get to the penthouse. Elle jerked as if I had burned her. Keeping her eyes stayed closed, not another word was said as we made our way up to the penthouse suite.
“If you don’t mind, I’d like to call Rachel to tell my kid’s goodnight, would you mind if we met thirty minutes later?”
I didn’t have a problem with that, walking into the suite, I set my briefcase down and slid my shoes off. This had become my ritual, it made me feel that I was grounded, settled. Not being able to be in your home makes you work to acquire that feeling where ever you can.
“Like it?”
I asked as I Elle headed over to the main wall of glass that overlooked the whole city of Burlington. It was as if it was planted there straight from a postcard. I never got tired of the scenic view, but her face was so beautiful in the dim lighting of the room it made it even better. Looking at her silhouette, mouth partially opened, eyes wide and gazing, she was astonished at what she was seeing. So innocent, so inexperienced.
“Amazing,” I heard her soft voice proclaim.
I went to make sure that our bags were placed in the rooms, and then made my way over to the bar where Simon had ordered us a bottle of champagne. I popped the cork, and poured two champagne flutes full of the Dom Perignon. She wasn’t going to have to do anything, behind these four walls for the next eight days other than beg me for what she wanted. Me.
“Beautiful isn’t it?”
Elle turned and took the glass of champagne that I held in my hand.
“It’s breathtaking.”
Elle’s words did not match the look on her face. She looked almost…sad. I could see pain in her eyes. Why, I couldn’t understand. She had everything, a family, a home. What could be so bad that it would rip the light from what used to be a girl who lived in her dreams and thrived to make them a reality? I think the answer had to do with what was around her wrists.
I had to clear my mind, I wasn’t thinking about that right at this moment in time. I had Elle in front of me, and a beautiful panoramic view right behind her.
“It so peaceful, it’s like no one has a care in the world.”
I heard Elle cough and begin to stutter, “I better call the kids so I can get ready for dinner, thank you for the champagne.”
I didn’t say a word. I closed my eyes, yet again, another moment sabotaged. Was she that frightened of me? I knew it wasn’t anger that held her back from me. God knows, that if someone had the right to be pissed, I held that right - not her.
I went to the bar and set my drink down, deciding I wanted the heavy stuff. I shot the whiskey back and poured another as I made my way over to the phone. I needed to order dinner.
I called up room service, attempting to place an order for what I thought Elle would eat. She had a thing for salads and pastas seventeen years ago, shit knew what she was up for now a days. Once I got all that taken care of, I headed in for a shower myself.
The day had mentally beaten down on me. I was worn out. Seeing those markings on Elle’s wrists just about did me in. I couldn’t get the picture of Elle pulling down the sleeves to her sweater, out of mind, almost as if it was routine. She didn’t seem surprised when I noticed them the other night or today, it was as if she thought if she didn’t acknowledge it, it would go away. Well, that was where she was wrong. Just because she wouldn’t speak of it, didn’t make it nonexistent.
I shut off the water and went to my room to get dressed. As I slipped on my sneakers, I heard the doorbell ring. Room service, just in time. Heading out front, I hadn’t seen Elle yet, so I figured she was still getting dressed. The waiter placed everything where it was supposed to go on the buffet.
While he was busy setting up, I set the table and got the wine chilled. I noticed out of the corner of my eye, Elle walking into the room. It was hard to take my eyes from her. Pouring her a glass of wine, as she approached, I handed it to her when she was within my reach.
“It’s been seventeen years since I’ve had a meal with you, so I wasn’t quite sure what you would be in the mood for.”
Clearing her throat she replied, “I’m not too picky.”
“Please, have a seat”
“Ummmm, I thought we were going out.”
“Never said we were going out, as I recall, I think my words were - you have an hour to get dressed, you’re having dinner with me. Dinner,” I smiled a wicked smiled at her. “Plus, I kinda wanted to keep you to myself tonight, maybe finish what we started the other day at lunch.”
Elle didn’t miss a beat, quick on her remarks. “I think where we left off was treading dangerous ground with getting too personal, Mr. McHale.”
I raised my eyebrow, giving her a teasing glare, “Ms. Barker…”
Elle knew my meaning behind the look, and the acknowledgement. I didn’t have to say a word. Pouring myself a glass of wine, and pulling a chair up on the side of her. I wanted to be close to her and her raspy throat was the perfect excuse to sit right next to her.
She gave me this look, visually asking me, “What the fuck do you think you are doing?”
“I didn’t want to sit that far away. Plus, I don’t want you to strain your voice any more than you already have. Back to the question at hand, I don’t think you can ever get too personal, Miss Barker. Now, What would you like to eat?”
Elle picked up her glass of wine and took a sip as her head flipped to the side to look over the variety of food that was on display. She went to stand, and I stopped her almost immediately. I wasn’t kidding when I said she wasn’t lifting a finger.
“I asked you what you would like to eat, Miss Barker. Nothing in that question imparted to you to stand up and leave the table.”
Quietly, Elle sat back down and bowed her head.
What. The. Fuck.
She looked as though she was terrified of my response. She was in a compliant stance and that was not like the Elleny I knew. She wouldn’t be scared, if she didn’t like what I said, she would be up nose to nose with me.
“I’m sorry I thought I would just help myself, I didn’t know there was a system to this.”
I had to calm her down, there was no way in hell I wanted her to feel as though she had to obey me, knowing that Bear wasn’t home all that often and seeing what he was doing while he was away, I figured that she doesn’t get pampered all that much and I wanted her to see that she deserved to be treated as what she was… precious, invaluable. I gently rubbed my hand over hers, until she brought her eyes up to mine.
“What would you like to eat, Elle?”
“A bit of salad, a cup of soup, a half of a sandwich and Jell-O, please.”
I nodded and got up to fix her plate.
“So, are you going to tell me what the tattoos say?”
I had noticed that underneath the markings, on the inside of her wrists, Elle had tattoos, they were words but I couldn’t understand them, they were written in a foreign language
“I wasn’t planning on talking about them, no. All of my ink is very personal and means something very sacred to me.”
“I could tell that the ones on your wrists were in different languages. Why would you have tattoos on your wrists if no one can read them?”
I popped a bite of my steak in my mouth that I had pulled off of the piece I was planning to take as she responded.
“Well the reason that I have them in different languages is that again, they’re for me; no one else.”
I laughed a small laugh. She was not cooperating with me, not one bit. It was as if I was going to have to torture her to open up to me.
“Miss Barker, you are making this reunion a difficult if you’re not willing to talk.”
I responded to her short answer as I winked, setting a plate of food and a bowl of soup down in front of her.
“Thank you, sir.”
She said as she let a small smile break through. I was breaking through. This gave me hope that I was not fighting a losing battle. I nodded once in response.
“So, are you married…girlfriend?”
Elle was definitely opening up, and what a question to start with.
“Now she wants to get personal, as long as it’s her asking the questions huh?”
She let out a small laugh and I almost closed my eyes to bask in the sound.
“I’m not married, had a girlfriend but nothing serious. No kids… just me”
“Oh sorry to hear that”
Really, sorry…what did she have to be sorry for? Oh…yeah…totally fucking up my life.
“Sorry…for what? I’m not sorry. I told you Elle, nothing was permanent for me and as I recall, I made a promise a long time ago that I planned on keeping.”
Elle jerked alive when I finished speaking. How could she have been caught off guard by that, she was there…I had never held anything back from her when it came to my feelings.
“You’re kidding right?”
Now I was the one taken back and surprised.
“Did you think I was kidding when I made that promise back then?”
“TJ, you were in second grade. Why of course, I thought you were kidding. Besides, that’s not even possible.”
Now I was intrigued with her mindset, taking another bite I replied.
“And why’s that impossible?”
Elle grinned a small, fake smile as she took a sip of her wine. I could tell she was getting ready to disconnect again.
“I’m not talking about this.”
I laughed; I was falling back in the rhythm of what were us…TJ and Elle.
“Oh yes you are, you brought it up.”
Elle let her fork fall to her plate, my head popped up from grabbing a fry. Here we go again, I don’t know why she felt she had to be so dramatic.
