Personal Possessions, page 2
“Yeah, and was that Mindy or Megan that snuck out dis mornin while I was sittin' on the shit’ah. Thanks for the heads up, buddy. Next time I go to take a shit, I’d like ta make sure I shut the door so I don’t have a female walk in on me.”
“Who knows… don’t really give a shit what’er name is.” I replied as I turned back over, exposing my naked ass from out of the sheets.
“Nice Trev… real nice.” Greg laughed as he threw whatever-her-name’s panties back on top of me. “I’m makin’ coffee, get up and get fuckin ready! I’ve waited four years for this day; I’m enjoying it since next week we have to be grownups and attend meetings that I lined up with those investors.”
It was spring, but still cold as hell in Massachusetts. I was graduating with honors from the postgraduate program at Harvard. I had finally accomplished what my piece of shit father only wished he had; an MBA from a prestigious university.
Banging on the door echoed throughout my head as I looked at my clock. “Jesus, Greg… it’s only 8:30!” I yelled gripping the pillow over my eyes. “Graduation isn’t until four.” I didn’t catch a response from Greg, but I did hear stomping on the wood floor as though a herd of elephants were passing through our apartment.
“Oh, there they are.” I heard as the stomping stopped, but it wasn’t Greg’s voice, it was a female’s. Just as I pulled the pillow off my face, the panties were snatched off my chest. There stood a petite blonde…the one from last night. She couldn’t have been more than five-six without the heels on. Maybe weighing in around ninety pounds soaking wet, her blue eyes staring lasers into me. She was perfect and what made her perfect was she was the total opposite of her.
“Hey Megan, you forget something?” I asked in what I thought was a decent and halfway caring voice.
“First off, it’s Mindy!” she screeched letting out a huff, and asking for strength from a higher power, as she contorted her body into what she thought was a power stance. I thought it looked fucking painful. Bending down, she threw her panties back on my face. “It’s not Megan and it sure as shit ain’t Elle either!”
I sat up quicker than I thought possible, even for a sober person let alone a still half-drunk asshole like myself.
“What did you just say?” I growled in a deep I’m-not-fucking-with-you-tone.
Her eyes came up to mine, but she didn’t say a word. I put my feet on the floor sitting up as straight as I could.
“I asked you, what did you say to me, and where did you hear that name from?” Turning away from me to scan outside of the bedroom, probably to either see if she could make it to the front door, or if Greg was there just in case she needed assistance.
Facing me again she whispered “You called me it last night… when you had me…” she looked back again, I had a feeling she was looking to see if Greg was listening in this time. She leaned in closer, quietly saying “…up against the wall… outside the bar?” I know the look on my face had to make her feel like shit, I didn’t even remember her leaving this morning not to mention last night’s fuckfest. “You mean to tell me you don’t remember… any of last night?”
Her hand now came up on her hip that was turned in a way that literally made me feel pain in my own body. Raising my eyebrow, I looked at her shoes to see if the heel was spiky. Just wanted to know what to expect when she rapped me across the head with it.
Scooping my boxers off the floor, I slipped them on while making my way to the bathroom. “Look… Mindy…” I had to think of her name again. “…I’m sorry I called you… that name, and I’m sorry about last night. I’m sure it was good, but I’ve got shit to do today and right now… I’ve got to go.” Stepping into the bathroom, I turned the knob to lock the handle.
“Fine… be a dick! Don’t bother callin' me next time you need another freckle examined!” She screamed through the door. Flashes of last night replayed in my mind; a group of nurses graduating yesterday, celebrating, buying round after round of shots.
“Holy shit, is that the line I used on you?” I busted out laughing. I could hear Greg laughing his ass off in the kitchen, while banging pots and pans together so that it sounded like he wasn’t paying attention to our conversation.
“And you fell for that shit, Megan?”
I closed my eyes and laid my head against the back of the door, I knew when I said it I fucked up. I heard and felt her kick the door, my headache had just become an extreme migraine thanks to her. I could hear the squeak of the knob as she attempted to twist it at the same time. If I didn’t lock it, she would’ve come in and gone stalker all over my ass.
“It’s Mindy!!” She screeched.
I could hear her three inch heals clicking on the floor, I know Mr. Flannery from downstairs was going to be pissed with this little occurrence. Finally, I heard the front door slam as she stormed out of the apartment.
“Dayum cuz, that was harsh,” Greg laughed from the kitchen. I opened the bathroom door stark naked as I rubbed the goose egg that had now formed in the middle of my forehead. I’m sure that was going to look fuckin’ awesome at graduation.
“That right there is the reason why I don’t do relationships!”
Chapter 2
2001
I didn’t sleep well last night, I knew what today was. April twenty-first would always be embedded in my mind, it was a day that I would never forget. There were two days a year where I would make a phone call, today was one of those days. Christmas, and her birthday.
I started this ritual the year after we stopped talking. I couldn’t come to say her name, or even talk to her, but I felt peace whenever I heard her voice. So, at 7:43 every Christmas and birthday, I would dial her dad’s number. I just sat there, she did the rest. She would never say aloud it was me, but I could tell by her voice that she knew.
I loved hearing about every second of her life, which I was missing out on. From taking her kids to school, to what she was cooking for dinner that night. I would close my eyes and imagine that I was a part of that routine, part of that life. What I wouldn’t give to have her tell me that she couldn’t wait until I got home, so that I could sit down with my family, and eat fucking meatloaf. It wasn’t even about the meatloaf, it was about the family.
That was supposed to be my family, not his. That bastard didn’t deserve what was waiting for him at home.
Her dad, and stepmom were well. In fact, she and Mona had been getting along now for a while. Lilly and Rachel were in town, spending the day shopping and gossiping about everyone they all knew.
Her beautiful melodic laugh rang though the phone. I fucking missed hearing that sound. A crystal clear memory came to me of her eyes coming to mine as I said something funny, and her trying to hold back her laughter because she said it sounded like a walrus. That was such bullshit, her laughter brought me composure. Made me worth something in someone’s eyes.
After hearing her go on for minutes that to me, were always too short, her voice would lower and the cheery, good-humored girl that I used to know better than myself would be gone.
She would always end the phone call the same way. She’d say she was ok, but that she missed someone terribly, before including a “Thank you” to the stranger that never said a word.
I would feel that ache return, and I would be back to the way I was, someone who used, and manipulated people. A guy who didn’t give a shit about what anyone thought of him.
“I think this is it, don’t you?” I walked around the small office space that Greg was set on becoming the Mac-Gentry Firm. We had been working out of our apartment here in Boston since we graduated college two years ago, and moved from Cambridge. Finally, we had become financially ready to branch out, and open our own office together.
“This will be your office,” He proceeded to inform me, as though I needed to be brought up to speed on that info. Walking through the smaller of the two offices, I appraised where I’d be setting up shop. I really couldn’t care less about the size, I didn’t plan on being in it very often. I was ready to get out, and begin purchasing and networking.
I knew that one of us would have to be the one to rub noses with those investing pricks. Since I seemed to have the better personality, and by better I mean, I wouldn’t fly off the handle and punch the shit out of one of the head investors we would have to work with. Ever since Greg had an issue with a comment a man made towards a nonprofit that he had dealt with in the past, I was the schmoozer. Can’t say I blame him, but I think the whole situation could’ve been handled another way.
I continued walking through the empty hallways until I reached the other office. It was twice the size of what mine was, and had its own bathroom. Whatever. I looked at Greg, and shook his hand
“So partner, you won’t have to make sure the shitter door is closed in here, will ya?”
“Fuck no…and if they walk in and see my ass, that’s their own fuckin’ fault.” Laughing, we embraced each other in a huge man hug to seal the deal.
“This is really happenin’, isn’t it Trev.” Greg grumbled in my ear, as I slapped his back.
“Shit yeah, it is! And we aint stoppin’ until we’ve reach the top, you got me, brother?”
Patting me on the back as well, he agreed, “No stoppin’ till we’ve reached the top, my brother.”
I let him go from my hold, nodding once to let him know our brother moment was over. We both walked back to the front lobby to inform the realtor we would take it.
“I propose a toast!”
Greg was already shitfaced, buying rounds for everyone at O’Malley’s, the bar that we had hung out in since we moved up here. It was a small hole in the wall bar that maybe held sixty people, but this was our family.
Greg Gentry, had a huge Irish family that had taken me in as their own. I respected them immensely. I hadn’t seen, or talk to my family since the day I left Georgia. That was a state I swore I would never return to, there was nothing there that I needed or even wanted, or so I thought
I didn’t need family, I learned to be self-sufficient quickly. Bills had to be paid, and drinking had to commence. It wasn’t like good ole’ daddy would send me a monthly check anyways, so I learned how to take care of myself; it was a necessity. I ended up telling Greg all that had happened with my family and her. He was well aware that she was a subject that was not to be brought up, ever!
“To Mac-Gentry! May it develop into a force not to be reckoned with, so that it can bring in the big bucks, and I can retire a fuckin’ millionaire!” Everyone in the bar cheered enthusiastically.
Knowing everyone there, they knew what we had been striving for, nights that we would stop by for a drink almost at closing time because we had been up putting together presentations for investors. Timeless hours that we weren’t sure if we would make it, so we’d just say ’fuck it’, throw our hands up, and come get drunk. We had waited so long to achieve our dreams, that now the time for celebration was at hand.
I always said that I wanted to be the one who demanded, not the one who was being demanded, well I was well on my way. Climbing that ladder one rung at a time, and I was closing in on the top. I tipped the shot glass back, and didn’t even taste the liquor going down, I just waited for the burn.
Thinking back to the night that I made that promise, brought back a flood of images. It seemed as though now a days, all I did was drink. I drank away my thoughts, all those memories that would show themselves in my nightmares. The only way to get rid of them was to let them follow the same path the liquor did.
I tried my hardest not to think about the visions, the regrets that disturbed me every single day of my, now pointless and meaningless life. I made myself endure the emptiness inside, trailed by the loneliness for the sake of never feeling what I felt the night I ended up losing everything.
It killed me to not allow myself to go back, and at least make sure she was happy, but now… shit! I knew at that time I wasn’t stable enough. I couldn’t have gone down that road. I left that street the night she came home a married woman, and I never went down it again.
“Yo, Mikey!” I yelled to the bartender. “Can I get a setup?”
I held up my shot glass so he would know what I was drinking that night. “Sure thing, Trev!” he hollered back.
“Woohoo!” I heard Greg yell from a table down the way. Seated in the middle of four or five girls, that didn’t even look like they had finished college yet.
“Trev, come join us, ya gotta hear this story! Hey ladies, that there is my business partner, we just opened our own investment firm,”
Rolling my eyes, I let out a sigh. I knew where this was going to lead. Mikey set the four shots down in front of me. Thanking him, I swiped up the first one and tipped it back. Fuck, that sting was calming. Nothing made everything better like the bite of whiskey. I finished off the other three shots back to back, before asking Mikey to set me up another round. Now that I had liquid courage and a clear mind, I pushed my seat back and honed in on the girl that would fuck me senseless tonight.
“Yeah,” I moaned out, “Shit, that feels good. Don’t stop.”
Pushing her head towards me, I leaned up against the wall in the men’s restroom. I couldn’t believe how forward this chick was , she didn’t have a problem coming up to me, grabbing my hand and pulling me in here. I was pretty shitfaced, but when I asked what she was doing, she just answered me by getting down on her knees and stating,
“Stacie’s hungry for an all-beef hot cock.”
I couldn’t believe what was happening, it seemed like I was dreaming. But these weren’t the kinda dreams I had now. I didn’t dream at all, instead nightmares hounded me. Nothing but betrayal, heartbreak and devastation plagued my sleep; this must’ve been my shit reality because I could feel her lips tightening around my shaft.
“Faster.”
Grasping ahold of her blonde locks of hair, I slowly pushed her head against my thighs as I thrusted forward. She knew just how to open up the back of her throat, and the feeling I got when she would swallow almost made me blow my load right then and there. Her mouth felt good, warm and luscious, but it wasn’t enough, it wasn’t… her. I leaned my head back, closing my eyes and just went through the motions to finish.
Pushing away the thoughts that were eating away at my brain, I couldn’t even stand the memories of voice invading my now impenetrable personal space. No one was allowed in that area that was me. It took me learning the hard way that being a nice guy got you nothing but shit on, so my outlook on life was now to ’use and be used’, and it had gotten me this far in the game, why not carry it on until the end.
Picking my head up, I looked down at the girl on her knees before me. My hands were suddenly running through long brown hair, tensing, I jolted straight up. When she looked up at me through her eyelashes, I saw the eyes that could see deep into my soul. The green eyes were locked away, or so I thought, far away in the depths of my mind.
“You ok, baby?” My memory spoke to me.
It wasn’t the blonde’s voice; it was her voice. That soft southern twang was prominent over the Boston accent that was there not even sixty seconds ago, plain as day.
“Don’t…don’t call me that!” I demanded, as I began to push her off of me. She was fighting me, the more I pushed, the harder her grip on the legs of my jeans became. I looked around the dirty bathroom, needing to look anywhere else other than at her. I could hear the beat of the music coming through the walls as loud as a rumbling train, the beat vibrating against the door.
All at once the music became louder as the door opened. In walked a man so drunk, it took him a moment to consider the scene he had just walked in on. I began tucking my dick back in my pants just as he quickly turned around, and walked out.
I didn’t know what the fuck was happening to me lately, I couldn’t get away from these visions. I would see her walking down the street, in the elevator, or at the grocery store. At first, I had noticed just a glimpse that would make me do a double take. Then the next time, the whole ride up the elevator. Now they were lasting several minutes.
“Uh, I didn’t catch your name, sweetie but whatever is bothering you; I can make things all better.” The girl said, still down on her knees, wiping the corners of her mouth.
“Shut up…Don’t talk!” I insisted, now officially in panic mode. Each time my eyes would roll to her, it wasn’t the blonde curls that hung down the sides of her shoulders but rather the shoulder-length brown haired, green eyed beauty that once possessed my heart and soul.
I couldn’t set my eyes on her, hell…I couldn’t even bring myself to say her name, how fuckin’ insane was that! I stumbled to the sink, and threw a handful of cold water in my face. Staring at the drain in the bottom of the sink, I was determined not to turn around.
“Get up!” I said as I continued looking down in the sink. This little escapade was over. “Don’t you even realize where you’re at? What’re you doing for Christ sake? You’re on your knees in the middle of a fucking men’s restroom?!” I wasn’t pissed off at her, I was frustrated with myself. I was being such a pussy, I’d had enough. I flung around expecting to see her, but it was the blonde again and she was downright fuming.
Grabbing ahold of the wall, she slowly raised herself back up and went to the mirror beside me.
“I know where the fuck I am, and I didn’t see you playing little fucking boy-scout when I dragged you in here, and stuck your dick, in my mouth! Shit, I knew I should’ve gone for the wired one.”
She was talking about Greg. He always seemed as though he was on coke or speed. Nope, he was just high strung, always moving, and talking ninety miles a minute. That’s what made him such a great business partner, he never let up until we made the deal.
Pushing away from the mirror with a huff she left the restroom, she didn’t even wash her hands. I was thankful that my dick only ended up in her mouth, fucking nasty skank. Having had enough fun for one night, I was done. With my drunken buzz fading fast, I decided that it was time to go home and drink myself into a dreamless sleep.
