Remembering Ellie, page 22
‘If you’re sure? I could easily grab a taxi.’
‘No, no. It’s not far and he’ll be back in no time. Now go on and tell that husband of yours the good news!’
Ellie kissed her mother goodbye and allowed her father to drive her home, anticipating the excitement her revelation would cause.
Chapter Forty-Six
Although less than twenty minutes, the drive home seemed like an eternity as Ellie’s excitement bubbled over; she could hardly wait to see Phil and Sam. Unsurprisingly, her head was beginning to throb and felt like an overstuffed cushion, full of memories which had previously been lost to her. It was like witnessing a shattered pane of glass in reverse, the shards sliding into place to form a complete, clear pane once more.
Ellie remained silent for most of the journey, marvelling at what was happening to her, and Derek was content to be quiet too, aware of his daughter’s need for space to assimilate her thoughts, and concerned for Grace, anxious to return to her side. He dropped Ellie outside her home and promised to let her know how her mother fared with the procedure she was to undergo.
Phil and Sam were playing with Sam’s favourite toy of the moment, a train set, and his lips were pursed in concentration as he made sloppy chugging noises, encouraged by his daddy.
‘How is she?’ Phil jumped up to enquire after Grace, concerned for her and Ellie. ‘It must have been quite a shock for you?’
‘It was, but she’s going to be fine. The pacemaker needs a new battery, a minor procedure, but they’re keeping her in to do it immediately. All being well, she should be home tomorrow.’
‘Oh, that’s good news, and how are you, love?’
‘Never been better!’ Ellie smiled at her husband, enjoying the moment, cherishing her secret for a few seconds more and anticipating his reaction. Her eyes danced as she looked at him and her son. Sam had crawled over to greet his mummy, and she scooped him up and kissed his cheek.
‘Phil, I remembered when Mum had the pacemaker fitted. It was me who told the nurse.’
Her husband looked puzzled until it dawned on him exactly what she was saying. ‘But that was five or six years ago, surely…’
‘Yes, it was!’ Ellie grinned, relishing the moment. ‘Can you remember when you used the juicer for the first time and didn’t put the lid on firmly enough?’ She laughed out loud at her husband’s expression.
‘I can, but can you?’ Phil was astounded.
‘And I filmed you and threatened to post it on Facebook?’
‘Sweetheart, can you remember?’ He sounded desperate so she stopped teasing.
‘Yes, yes, I can remember!’
Phil picked her up and swung her around, laughing. ‘And what else can you remember?’ he asked, holding his breath. Ellie turned to a somewhat bemused little boy who was again sitting on the floor surrounded by toys but more interested in his parents and their strangely animated conversation.
‘I can remember when you were born, little man.’ She addressed her son. ‘The excruciating pain, the agony and the joy… bittersweet!’ Ellie tickled Sam’s ribs and he rolled on his back, chuckling as if he understood the significance of her happiness. ‘And you, Phil, eating a meat pie while I was struggling with contractions and begging for gas and air!’
‘But I was hungry!’ He mirrored her grin. ‘What else do you remember? Tell me, please?’
‘Our wedding day when you promised we’d always be as happy. And we are, Phil, aren’t we?’ Ellie’s eyes sparkled with tears – tears of joy, of relief.
‘Yes, we are.’ He lifted Sam from the floor and held his wife and his son in a long embrace. When he released her, she moved to the bookcase where photographs of their wedding held pride of place. Her memories were no longer flat, lifeless images. Instead, they were suddenly vibrant, three-dimensional, solid memories. It was as if the final pieces of the jigsaw puzzle of her life were falling into place, and she was no longer afraid of who she was; Ellie knew, she was complete once more.
Later, when Sam was in bed, Ellie described what had transpired with Grace, and the shock of seeing her mother unconscious.
‘Perhaps the shock was the catalyst for your memory returning?’ Phil wondered.
‘Maybe,’ she agreed and told him of her surprise when she realised she’d told the nurse how Grace had been fitted with a pacemaker. ‘I didn’t know I was remembering at first!’ She laughed at the peculiarity of the situation. Not everything was clear yet, but images still flashed into her mind of past events, people and places. ‘I’d like to look at the photos of Australia now I remember it, but not tonight. There’ll be time later. I remember your dad, Phil, and I loved him dearly; his warmth and whacky sense of humour. He was such a lovely man – we laughed all the time when he was around, didn’t we? I’m so sorry he’s gone. I miss him too.’
Phil nodded, overwhelmed to finally have his wife back, all of his wife. There was so much to discuss and plan for, but for the present, he simply wanted to take her into his arms, to hold her close.
A phone call from the hospital later that evening reassured them Grace was fine. The procedure was successful, and Derek would be able to take her home the following morning. Naturally, Grace was unconcerned with her own health and wanted to know how her daughter was. Derek had a list of questions from his wife which he dutifully asked and Ellie answered, confident her mother would want to grill her more thoroughly in person the following day.
‘Tell Mum we’ll come and see her tomorrow when she gets home.’ She eventually ended the call. They’d all waited so long for this moment; they could wait another day to celebrate it.
As they lay in bed that night, wrapped in each other’s arms, Ellie turned to look at Phil. ‘You didn’t tell me about the miscarriages before Sam, did you?’
‘No, my love, I didn’t. Sometimes it’s better not to remember everything, and they were difficult times; we’ve certainly had our fair share of those during our marriage. But we have Sam now, and each other, it’s enough.’
‘Do you want more children, Phil?’
‘Yes, we always wanted a little girl to complete our family, but there’s plenty of time and I only want to try again when you’re ready. You may even want to go back to work?’
‘Oh, yes, I love work, and I’ve missed it. But I’d love another baby too.’ She smiled at Phil and snuggled closer.
‘There’s no reason why you can’t have both. You are your own woman, Ellie. You always have been; strong and determined, which is one of the many things I love about you.’
‘About these miscarriages, it’s still a little blurry; is there any reason why we can’t have more children?’
‘Absolutely none. The doctor said you should be fine now you’ve carried one baby to full term.’
In the darkened room, Phil’s fingers touched Ellie’s under the warmth of the duvet and she could almost hear the smile on his face.
Long after Phil drifted off to sleep, Ellie lay awake, remembering. Now she knew who Ellie Graham was, she could finally step into the future with confidence. Nothing in life is ever certain and there are no guarantees, but knowing herself and Phil was all Ellie needed. She smiled and closed her eyes. Sleep came much easier these days.
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THE END
Also by Gillian Jackson
The Pharmacist
The Victim
The Deception
Abduction
Snatched
The Accident
The Shape of Truth
The Charcoal House
The Dead Husband
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Author’s notes
Thank you for reading Remembering Ellie. I hope you enjoyed her journey of discovery. When telling Ellie’s story, it was impossible not to empathise with her situation – losing ten years of memories must be frightening – people, places and events vanished as if they had never happened. The more I considered it, the more I realised how terrifying it must be; amnesia is more than forgetting things. It’s losing part of your life and even your unique identity.
To chart Ellie’s story, I looked at the people in her life and asked the questions she would have asked of herself. Who are my real friends? Are those around me to be trusted? Is my marriage as perfect as I’m being told? But as well as questioning others, Ellie questioned herself. To be unsure of your character and trustworthiness and not knowing what you are capable of is probably far worse than being unsure of others.
Acknowledgements
My thanks, as always, to the team at Bloodhound Books for their incredible help in getting this book out into the world. Each book is a collaboration – I get to do the good bits of inventing characters and weaving plots, and they work on polishing and presenting my work to be the best it can be. I truly appreciate their guidance, dedication and professionalism throughout the process.
Thanks also for the support of my wonderful family, particularly my husband of fifty years, Derek, who selflessly watches endless football matches to give me the time and space I need to create my fantasy world.
A note from the publisher
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Gillian Jackson, Remembering Ellie
