Lipstick & Camera Clicks, page 3
The text accompanies a photo of what I assume is my stuff in multiple garbage bags sitting on the porch.
Motherfucker.
three
My day is quickly going south. I stare at Abbie’s message and enlarge the photo in complete shock that Javi allowed this. The garbage bags are a nice touch. What an asshole.
“What’s up with you? You look like you want to throw your phone.” Ryan asks as she slips her shoes on.
Bringing the message back up, I angle my screen so she can read it.
“Are you shitting me?” She blinks, her mouth hanging open in disbelief.
“It’s like we’re roommates who ended on bad terms. We had a whole relationship.” He doesn’t regret what he did at all.
“Give me your apartment key. I’m going to get your stuff after my meeting.” Ryan throws her bag over her shoulder.
“Why do you need the key? Everything’s outside.”
“So he has no excuse to text you again. I’ll leave it under the mat.” She hands me my purse from the counter. I hand her the key and she shoves it in her bag.
“I’ll be back. Don’t let this stress you out.”
When she leaves, I pick up my phone and delete Javi and I’s message thread. I figure looking at all our old texts would be too tempting. Opening my email, I scan my inbox. No responses from the places I applied to earlier this week. I get to work sending my resume to a few cosmetics stores and text a few old classmates for referrals.
This takes most of the afternoon with only a few people hitting me back, letting me know they didn’t know of anything but would keep me posted. My portfolio is lacking but I swipe through my photos, looking for some good examples of my work to put on my profile.
“Hey.”
The sound of River’s voice startles me. I look up and he’s standing in front of me with a bottle of lemonade and my favorite chocolate. I take them gratefully and he takes a seat on the couch beside me.
“Have you been sitting here all day?”
I rip open the candy wrapper, “Yeah, I need to find work. Hopefully, I’ll hear back soon.”
He scratches the back of his neck and looks away. “You don’t have to try so hard. I’m not in a rush for you to leave.”
A smile tugs at my lips and I feel relief at the thought that he doesn’t seem to hate me.
“How fast do you think you can get dressed?” He checks his watch.
“Why?”
“Ryan told me to get you to the beach.”
“This late?” The sun’s already setting.
“I said the same thing. She yelled that she’d be waiting and hung up.”
“I’m assuming I can borrow her clothes. She was supposed to bring mine back from the apartment.”
“Unless you want to borrow mine. My stuff looks good on you.”
I wave him off. Flirting is a part of Rivers’ personality and I’ve learned not to take it seriously.
It took a while to find something in Ryan’s closet that fit. She’s taller than me and slim, while my hips make it hard to squeeze into most jeans. Finally, I settled on comfy biker shorts and an oversized gray t-shirt with West Coast printed across the front.
It’s warm tonight, but the breeze near the water’s always cold. I wrap my arms around myself, and River tracks the movement. He reaches between us to the back seat and hands me his bomber jacket.
“Thanks.” I mumble as I shrug it on.
“One of us has to be prepared.” He smiles and leans against the steering wheel of his truck.
The beach is mostly empty since it’s getting late. The sky’s a dusky gray and the stars reflect off the water. Wrestling my curls into a bun before we left ate up a lot of our time and we’ve lost the daylight. After spotting Ryan, we make our way. She has a large blanket spread across the sand, with takeout bags from a nearby chicken spot. She’s wearing a pastel pink wig with a large backpack slung over her shoulder.
“Did you drag us here to eat wings? And what’s on your head?” River asks.
“I’m not mad about it. I’m starved.” When I untie the plastic bag and open the container, the smell of lemon pepper wings makes my mouth water.
“Welcome to Indigo’s burning ceremony.” She shouts, throwing confetti over me and blowing into a kazoo. Ryan drops her bag to the floor and turns it upside down, dumping everything out.
“Ry, why do you have Javi’s stuff?” I put the wings down and look through everything she’s taken. Other than some of his clothes, there are photos of Javi and I. We look so happy in them, it’s sickening.
“Because we’re going to burn it all.”
I drop the photo in my hands and my mouth falls open.
“You took all this?” River kicks at the stolen goods.
“Didn’t you gift him these?” Ryan holds a pair of sneakers I waited hours in line for.
“I did.” I snatch them from her hands. “Ryan, our apartment has a camera at the door. He’s going to know you took this stuff.”
Ryan hands me a matchbook and points at her shiny wig. “Disguised myself and wore sunglasses.” She pulls two more wigs out of her bag, one pastel purple and one green. She plops the purple on my head and the green on River’s. Ryan taps the trash can next to her. “Do the honors, Indigo.”
I look at River, and he shrugs. He’s never been able to stop Ryan when she’s got an idea in her head. I light the match and drop it into the trash can, and a small fire builds. I hold the shoes over the fire, they were Javi’s favorites. Ryan chants my name as they fall from my fingers and seeing the fire feed off them makes my chest feel lighter.
“Hell yeah.” She shakes my shoulders, and I can’t help but laugh.
“My girl’s a free woman.” Ryan shouts into the sky. She pulls a bottle of wine out of her bag, and we pass it between us.
Every time I drop something into the fire, I feel a little more in control. When I found out Javi was cheating, I felt like I lost so much of it. I watch Ryan as she plays music from her phone and dances around the flames. Tonight was needed and when Ryan hands me the wine, I drink, ready to let go of all the stress that’s been knotting in my stomach. We pass the bottle between the both of us for a while until River snatches it away.
“You know what’s funny about these shoes? None of them are his size. He buys them a size bigger so he can add little heels in them that make him taller.” I drop the last pair into the fire.
Ryan doubles over in laughter. “No freaking way.” Tears fall from her eyes and her laugh comes out as a wheeze. I do my best to walk over to the blanket, but I trip over my own feet.
“You’re both drunk.” River laughs while offering me his hand.
I push him away, determined to make it on my own, but the ground tilts and I fall back into the sand. “Okay, maybe I’m a little buzzed.” I giggle and River’s hands find my waist as he helps me find my balance. When we make it to the blanket, I collapse onto my back next to Ryan. River lies on my other side.
Ryan holds her phone up, wrapping her free arm around my neck. “Squeeze in River.”
He does as she asks. Our bodies press together and my skin buzzes at the contact. I’m going to ignore the electricity that pulses between us and blame it on the alcohol. I stick my tongue out and I can feel Ryan putting bunny ears behind my head before the flash goes off.
“I’m going to find a restroom before we leave.” Ryan stands, dusts the sand from her shorts and runs off.
“You feel any better?” River angles his head toward mine.
“You want the truth?” I turn to face him, and we’re nose to nose.
“Yeah, you’re a horrible liar.”
Looking into those eyes so closely makes me feel even more off balance. “I feel like I’m not sure what to do next. Javi and I had plans. They mainly centered around him, but they were plans. I also can’t help but feel…” Shame claws at me and I let the words die.
River props himself up on his elbow, leaning over me, “Feel what?”
“Unlovable.” I drop his gaze and focus on his chest instead. “I know Javi’s in the wrong and he’s not worth my time or energy, but I thought we had a future. It wasn’t all bad, you know?”
“You’re the easiest person to love. There’s no way he doesn’t regret it. He’s being an ass because his inflated ego won’t let him beg you to come back.”
“Javi wouldn’t beg.”
“If he had half a brain, he would.”
My eyes jump to his. I search for any sign of resentment, but there isn’t any. “I’m sorry.”
“Apologies usually come with context.” He lifts a brow.
“I’m sorry for being such a crappy friend. I thought being in a relationship meant prioritizing it over my friendships, and that was wrong.”
River doesn’t say anything for a while. I lose the battle of wills and break eye contact first. “I’m not mad. I just learned not to let you go again.” He brushes sand from my hair, “I’m just saying he mishandled you in ways that will never make sense to me.”
“Are you volunteering to take over?” I joke, but River isn’t smiling. He opens his mouth to say something, but Ryan stops in front of us panting.
“Indie, I accidentally took your phone with me and it’s going off like crazy.”
Eager to break the weird tension between River and me, I sit up too fast. I forgot how cloudy my head felt and now I’m lightheaded. She hands me my phone and I swipe up, revealing six missed calls from Javi and three unopened messages.
“What’s wrong?” Ryan sits beside me, resting her chin on my shoulder.
“Oh, looks like he made it home.” She throws her head back and laughs. My thumb glides across the screen, opening the messenger app.
Javi
Really Indigo? This is so immature.
Javi
If you’re doing this for my attention, congratulations. You have it.
Javi
You threw my gaming equipment off the balcony?
“Ryan, you threw his gaming stuff over the balcony?” I slap her shoulder and she laughs even harder.
“I can neither confirm nor deny those details, but if I did that, I would tell you that seeing it shatter as it hit the ground was so satisfying.”
“How many crimes did you commit today?” River asks in disbelief.
“Uh, girl you might want to check your social media.” Ryan ignores River, peering down at her phone.
Swiping my finger over my screen, I open my account to see 99+ highlighted in red next to the notification bell icon. I haven’t posted in forever, but the most recent picture on my account has a flood of new comments. All of them alluding to the idea that I’m obsessed with Javi and am now stalking he and Abbie. People are commenting Abbie’s username, but I’m blocked so I log into my old burner account.
When I bring up Abbie’s page, the pictures with her and Javi are there, but there’s a new post. It’s a video and someone at the restaurant caught footage of me throwing drinks in their faces. She still has our old pictures up, so it wasn’t hard for people to find my page. Abbie completely manipulated the timeline. She’s flipped the script and now I’m the friend who’s been pushing up on her boyfriend. I hit the linked tag to Javi’s account someone left in the comments. He’s made a new post, and my frown transforms into a grimace as I see the accompanying caption.
Javi’s sitting on the balcony of his apartment with a beer in his hand, looking into the sunset away from the camera, showing off his profile. A woman sits in his lap, but you can only see the back of her head. The butterfly tattoo stamped on her lower back lets me know it’s Abbie.
Me and mines blocking out the noise. Peace and love to those that need it.
My anger clears some of the alcohol induced fog. Javi doesn’t explicitly confirm anything, but he isn’t refuting the comments making the accusation. He has a large following at a little over three hundred thousand compared to my ten thousand, and they’re offended on his behalf.
“Now I don’t feel bad about trashing his stuff. We’re going to ignore him.” Ryan snags my phone out of my hands. “All he’s done is bring traction to your page, which will benefit you in the end.”
“I mean sure, but they’re bashing me.”
“People follow the herd. It’s a hive mind mentality. Right now, it’s cool to hate you and they’ll continue to follow you and interact with all your posts to do it. Paint the picture you want them to see. Rebrand. People love a good villain anyway, depending on how you play it, they’ll switch sides.”
I move to stand but my knees feel like jello and my head feels heavy.
“Okay, it’s time to get you home.” River’s hand wraps around my arm, steadying me. “You’re not going to make it.” He bends down on his haunches and reaches his hands behind him. “Get on my back.”
“Nah uh.” I’m dizzy and exhausted but not too far gone to recognize having to be carried is embarrassing.
“Get over here, or I’ll leave you behind.” He calls over his shoulder.
Caving, I wrap my arms around his neck and lay against his back. He stands and wraps his arms around my thighs, holding me in place. “You okay?”
I nod my head against his back, and his damn scent is everywhere. I’m not sure what cologne he uses, but I hope he never changes it.
“My mom bought me this cologne.”
“Did I say that aloud?” My words jumble together, and my eyes feel heavy.
“You did.” I can feel his laughter move through him.
He’s so warm, I squeeze tighter and nuzzle against his neck, “You feel so good.”
His grip on me tightens and I swear his skin turns a light shade of pink.
“That’s enough out of you.” His voice sounds rough, and I hear Ryan chuckle from behind us.
It takes too much effort to keep my eyes open any longer, so I give up and fall into the best sleep I’ve had in a while.
four
Ifound work at a local beauty department store and I’ve been working for a couple of weeks now. The manager here was the only one to offer me a position with my limited portfolio.
“What do you think?” I hold the mirror up to my client’s face. It’s her birthday, and she has a photoshoot this afternoon. She wanted dramatic cat-eye lashes and shades of gold and brown for her lids. She has cool undertones, so we paired the look with a deep berry colored blush and matching lip.
“Oh my gosh, it doesn’t even look like me.” She lays a delicate touch to her cheek.
“It helps that you’re pretty to begin with.” I hand her the receipt and let her know she can pay up front.
I pull my calendar up on my phone to confirm my upcoming appointments. Ryan was right. Javi’s’ stunt brought me an influx of followers. While the hate is still coming my way, my work speaks for itself and a lot of the people who came to snoop stayed to book. My clientele still isn’t consistent enough to branch out on my own, and the pay is low, but it’s a start.
While checking my email for new appointment requests, I see a message from The Real Productions. I hadn’t heard anything after I submitted that application for the reality show and honestly, I’d forgotten about it. Opening the email, I scan the contents, sucking in a breath as I get to the bottom. After the formalities, there is a request to see me tomorrow for an interview.
Exiting the app, I rush to dial Ryan’s number.
“Hey, I was about to call you.” She sings through the phone.
“I heard about my application from that show.”
Ryan squeals her delight on the other end of the line. “I knew they’d call. When is it?”
“I’m not sure if I'm going to go, Ry. I didn’t expect to hear back.”
“Why wouldn't you go? Live a little Indie, plus you’ve been complaining about the lack of money coming in. The show matches your wages and gives an additional weekly stipend.”
As much as I hate to admit it, Ryan’s right. Being on TV would undoubtedly get more eyes on my page and the money wouldn’t hurt.
“I guess it’s only an interview.”
“Exactly, go show them why it’d be a flop without you.”
“Fine, I don't know how I let you talk me into these things.”
“Because I love you and know what’s best.”
After hanging up with Ryan, I click the link attached to the email and select my time slot for tomorrow afternoon.
Now that I’m here, I regret letting Ryan talk me into coming. Productions rented out a conference room in a nearby hotel. My nerves are getting to me, and I wonder if I chose the right outfit. My dress is long and flutters around my ankles. It has powder blue flowers printed on the fabric and the sleeves puff around my shoulders. The slit of the skirt creeps up my right thigh and I’ve paired it with beige wedges with straps that wrap up my calf. At least my hair and makeup is always on point. I went with a blue the same shade as my dress for my eyes with white on the inner corner and a wispy lash strip.
“Alright Ms. Johnson, you’re all checked in. Someone’s coming to take you back.” The receptionist’s all business, no smile or polite banter.
A woman in a pantsuit comes for me, and I follow her to a hallway. She pushes open the first door we come up to and gestures for me to enter. It seems to be one of the hotel’s empty conference rooms. Other than two security guards to my right, there is a table at the back of the space where an older woman and a man who looks a bit older than me are seated. They look up from the folders in front of them when I approach, and I stop a few feet in front of them.
“As stated in the paperwork you filled out, this is being recorded. We have cameras there,” she points to a mounted camera behind them, “and there.” A second camera’s mounted on the wall to my right. “My name’s Mary and beside me is Noah.” The man nods and everything about him screams Hollywood. From his designer clothes to the fact that he’s wearing sunglasses indoors.
