Lipstick & Camera Clicks, page 1
lipstick & camera clicks
DESTINEE MURPHY
contents
Trigger Warnings
Playlist
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Epilogue
What’s Next?
Acknowledgments
Copyright © 2024 by D.J. Murphy
Cover design by Alice Trijjete
Internal design by Books and Moods
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means including information storage and retrieval systems—except in the case of brief quotation embodied in critical articles or reviews—without permission in writing from the author.
The characters and events in this book are fictitious or are used fictitiously. Any similarities to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
trigger warnings
I would consider this book a fun ride. However, I understand that things that don’t bother me, may be harmful to others. So, I do want to list things that could be triggering.
Acceptance of differing sexualities is discussed.
Alcohol is used, not abused.
SA is briefly mentioned.
playlist
Traitor – Olivia Rodrigo
Special – SZA
Revenge – Mariah the Scientist
Boy’s a liar – PinkPanthers & Ice Spice
I’m Fine – Ashe
Drama – Pink Sweat$
Just a Friend – Mario
Juke Jam – Chance the rapper ft. Justin Bieber & Towkio
Handsome – Chance the Rapper ft. Megan Thee Stallion
Bad Habit – Steve Lacy
Hesitations – Navyug, CORBAL & Shiloh Dynasty
Ex – Kiana Lede
Better – Khalid
My Boo – USHER & Alicia Keys
Imported – Jessie Reyez & 6LACK
Lovers and Friends – Lil John & the East Side Boyz & Ying Yang Twinz – Kings of Crunk
Snooze -SZA
Back Stabber – Kesha
Run Me Dry – Bryson Tiller
Easy On Me – Adele
Better For You – by siopaolo
Make you Mine – Public
PILLOWTALK – ZAYN
Golden hour – jvke
To all the black girls who grew up in the era of love triangles and cheesy rom-coms and never got to see themselves. This one’s for you.
one
Lying comes so naturally to him, I almost believe it. He doesn’t even hesitate; I wonder if he’s forgotten what the truth is. How many times will he do it today?
“Are you coming home after your meeting?” I ask as he buckles his watch.
Javi doesn’t bother looking at me. “I have to stop at my mom’s tonight, so I’ll be back late.”
Lie number one, and he hasn’t even said good morning yet.
“I thought you saw her yesterday?” Reaching for the coffee pot, I turn my back to him. I’ve never been great at hiding my emotions, and every word that comes out of his mouth makes my jaw tighten.
“I have to help her set up furniture.”
Lie number two.
Am I so predictable that he can rehearse these answers ahead of time? Or is he such a pathological liar that making things up is as easy as breathing? “You know we’ve been dating for almost two years and now we live together, and I still haven’t met her.” I face him as I pour the steaming liquid into my mug. He finally looks at me with that smile I used to love. His eyes soften and he takes my chin between his fingers, then places a gentle kiss against my cheek. It takes everything I have not to wipe where his lips touched.
“If my two favorite girls are going to meet, I’d rather make it an occasion. I’ve never brought anyone home and I want it to be special.”
Lie number three. Or should that count as two lies?
I’m not his favorite girl. Couldn’t be. That spots already taken and after my social media deep dive last night, I know he brought a woman to meet his mom last week. “Maybe I’ll see if Abbie’s free.” The scent of vanilla fills the air as I add creamer to my coffee.
“Abbie? You know I don’t like her. She never knows when to leave.” He shakes his head and to his credit, I’m impressed. He doesn’t even pause at the mention of her name.
Lie number five is just as easy as the others.
How can he not like her? He took her to meet his mom. They looked super cozy wrapped in each other’s arms, with his mother smiling beside them in the pictures she posted. I grip the handle of my mug so tight my nails bite into my palm. Until recently I wasn’t active on my socials, so I guess Abbie thought I’d never see it. Javi convinced me appearing single was better for his platform.
“Why don’t you reach out to Ryan?” He asks.
This almost sends me over the edge, so I sip my coffee to avoid exploding. It’s his fault I haven’t seen Ryan in the last month. Now he’s acting like he didn’t cause that wedge with his jealousy because he doesn’t want to be bothered with me anymore.
He shrugs his coat on and takes one last look in the mirror, running a brush over his low-cut fade. Javi’s handsome in an adorable kind of way. Round cheeks, perfect smile, golden brown skin and a boyish charm.
“Don’t look so upset, Indigo. We’ll do something fun this weekend.” He leans in and kisses my forehead. “I love you.”
Lie number six is the worst of them and it hurts like hell.
My smile feels wrong, like my face is all stiff. It doesn’t matter though, because he doesn’t notice. The second he’s gone, I rub the back of my hand roughly against my face as if that will undo his touch. I pull my phone out of my pocket and open my bank app. The amount I see in my account is the last straw. Can’t afford to leave if I wanted to. Abandoning my coffee, I throw myself onto the couch and scream into the cushions. Is this a productive action? No. Does it make me feel better? Not really. But it does clear my head a bit.
How did I get here? I became the person I never wanted to be. Growing up, my mom put her aspirations on hold because my father asked her to and then he turned into someone she didn’t recognize. He snuffed out any ambition she had until her light finally faded. She eventually walked away. Went back to school, made the right connections, and landed a high paying job.
I’ll always be proud and respect her sacrifice, but there’s a part of me that always looked at her past as a cautionary tale. Running my hands down my face, I groan at the thought of having to tell her things with Javi didn’t work out. The last thing I want to hear is “I told you so.” She never liked him and was angry enough when he encouraged me to go to cosmetology school. My passion is just a hobby to her.
To be fair, she just wants me to have a steady paycheck. However, Javi had been supportive and encouraged me when I was scared to make the leap, which landed him on her bad side. Little did I know cosmetology school would be the start of the end. I’m not sure if I should be grateful I met Abbie there or not. At least she’s shown me who Javi really is.
I unlock my phone again, this time pulling up my location tracker. The small blue dot labeled “Javi” is moving the opposite direction of the coffee shop where he mentioned having his meeting.
How many lies is that?
I think that’s number seven. How bold can they get? Meeting up without turning off location share is wild. Love is such a made-up delusion. I gave up focusing on what I wanted to do and building my brand to work a job I hated so he could focus on growing his following. He claimed he’d do the same if the roles were reversed.
I scroll through my contacts and my thumb hovers over Ryan’s name before I decide to call.
“Indigo?” I can hear the smile in her voice. I look up at the ceiling to stop the tears from falling. I want to break down and tell her everything, but I’m so embarrassed.
“Ryan, Hey. Are you free tonight? I thought I could swing by, and we could catch up.”
There’s a beat of silence and I chew my lip. Being alone tonight will break me, but I wouldn’t blame her for declining. I let Javi’s jealousy over my friendship with her brother pull us apart.
“I’m in your area. I can stop by your place instead, if that’s cool?”
Relief flows through me. “Sure, sounds good.”
“Okay… are you alright? Do you need me to come now?”
She sounds worried, meaning I must sound as crappy as I feel. “No, I’m fine. But I wanted to say I’m sorry for—”
“Indie it’s okay. I’m just happy you called.
“I missed you too.”
“Alright, I’m at a gig and the photographer’s calling me.” She whispers, “Love you Indie.”
Not a lie. In fact, it’s the only truth I’ve heard in a while.
“Love you too.”
The line goes dead, and I bring the tracker back up. This time Javi’s little blue dot is sitting right next to another labeled Abbie.
Lie number eight.
I’ve just popped open a bottle of wine when Ryan arrives. When I open the door, she takes one look at me and frowns.
“What the hell happened?” Her bright green eyes scan my face.
“Javi’s cheating.” I’m surprised by how easily the words fall. I’ve missed her so much, and she’s the first person I wanted to tell.
“Shut the fuck up. Your Javi?” She steps inside and I shake my head because no, not my Javi. I don’t think he was ever my Javi.
“How do you know?” she asks.
I pull out my phone and bring up the screenshots I took of Javi’s conversations with Abbie before handing it to her. In them he tells her we’ve grown apart and she co-signs any complaints he has about me. While Ryan swipes through the evidence, I head to the kitchen and grab a glass.
“She posted pictures online.” I add, tipping the bottle over my cup.
Ryan closes the door, following behind me. “What a clown. Where’s he now?” Despite her anger, she looks beautiful. Ryan’s makeup is simple, but it highlights her high cheekbones and flawless, naturally tanned skin. Her hair’s pulled back in a sleek high bun and her long legs are on full display in the body-hugging dress she’s wearing. She looks every bit like the model she is.
“He’s on a date, you want to crash?” I’m mostly joking, but Ryan nods her head aggressively.
“What are we waiting for? Let’s go.” She takes my glass and drops it in the sink. “Lets clean you up a bit.” She drags me into my bathroom and starts opening the makeup case I left on the counter.
When I look in the mirror, my eyes are rimmed with red and the skin around them is puffy. I reach for the faucet and turn the water on, dip my hands under the stream and splash my face. After drying off, I apply a little concealer and a light layer of mascara. A little lipstick always helps me feel more confident, so I add a dark maroon shade.
Ryan hugs me from behind, giving me a tight squeeze. “There’s my girl.”
I’ve been debating on confronting them tonight, but the thought of doing it sends my nerves into overdrive. Even after we clean up and head out, my resolve is disintegrating.
“What do I say when we get there?” I lock the door behind us and we make our way down the stairs from my apartment to her car parked out front.
“Whatever the hell you want to say, and he’s going to listen to every word.” Ryan starts the engine and I text her the address.
“Indie listen, if we get there and you want to leave, just say the word. If you want to make a scene, I support it. If you want confirmation, we’ll get it, and if you want a conversation, you’ll have it. You don’t deserve what he’s done to you, and I’m here for whatever decision you make.”
My hands shake and the tears threaten to make a reappearance. I’ve neglected our friendship to focus on fixing what I thought to be minor problems between Javi and me. Until yesterday, I was under the impression whatever was wrong could be mended.
“Thank you, Ryan.”
“You’d do the same for me.”
I would, in a heartbeat.
We drive in silence the rest of the way. Mentally, I’m trying to psych myself up, so I don’t fall apart. Javi screwed me over. He doesn’t deserve to get off easy. Abbie either, she was my friend and now she’s sleeping with my boyfriend.
When we arrive, we find a casual burger place and choose a table diagonal from theirs. Abbie, unfortunately, is gorgeous. She has milky skin and rosy cheeks. Vastly different from my brown skin. My hand goes to my thick coils that have a mind of their own. Meanwhile, this girl’s hair is pin-straight, not a strand out of place. We’re complete opposites in every way. From our looks to our personalities. Abbie’s brash, but you never have to wonder what she thinks of you. I liked her honesty. Isn’t that some shit?
The lights are dim, adding a shadow over our faces and we’re able to hear Abbie laugh at something Javi says over the soft lofi that plays throughout the restaurant. A wave of nausea rocks through me.
“How can she smile knowing he goes home to you every night?” Ryan’s lips twist in disgust as she glowers at their table. “She wanted you to know.”
Did she? Abbie’s arrogant, so when I saw the post, I figured she was overconfident I wouldn’t go looking. He wraps his arms around her shoulders, and she practically melts at his touch. He uses his free hand to tap away at his phone. When he finishes, mine pings and I glance at the screen.
Javi
I’ll be at my mom’s until late, don’t wait up.
Ryan scoffs when she reads the message. Javi slides his phone in his coat pocket and reaches for Abbie’s hand.
This is so surreal, like some freak nightmare I can’t wake up from. Javi had a string of bad luck, which left me with the financial burden. It’s not his fault he got laid off shortly after we moved in together, but while I was out making the money, he started gaining a following online from his video game streaming. We decided together to take a chance, and he was supposed to do the same for me. Now it’s time to collect on that promise and he’s turning his back on me.
The more I watch them, the angrier I get. Abbie angles her face toward his and he takes her chin between his fingers and kisses her. It’s slow and gentle, but it rips my heart to pieces. Ryan sucks in a breath next to me and my vision blurs. Shit, this is embarrassing.
I take a deep breath and remind myself he’s not worth it. Pushing back from my seat, I stand and make my way over to their table.
“Hey, what are you guys doing here?” Smiling, I point between them. Javi jerks away from Abbie and hurt flashes across her features before she can hide it.
“Indie, what are you doing here?” Javi asks, his eyes darting between Abbie and me.
Leaning forward, I splay my hands across the table. “I believe I asked you first, babe.” I reach for a fry off his plate, popping it in my mouth.
“I was grabbing us a to go order when I bumped into Abbie.”
“But you texted me saying you were still at your mothers?” I wave my phone in his face.
The corners of his mouth turn down as he searches my eyes for something. What looks like understanding flashes across his face.
“Indigo, if you have something to say, just say it.” He shrugs. Abbie looks unsure of what to do, but raises her chin in solidarity.
We stare at each other in silence. He presses his lips into a straight line, nostrils flaring.
“Indie.” Abbie reaches for me, and I give her a look, daring her to put her hands on me. She thinks better of it and lets it drop.
“How long?” I ask, and his expression hardens.
“You’re doing too much right now. We’re in public.” He narrows his eyes at me, always worried about his image.
“You’re cheating on me. With the friend you said you couldn’t stand. You sat there with a straight face and lied to me this morning.” My voice cracks, only making me angrier. My chest feels like a furnace. I’ve never been so furious.
“I don’t know what you think Abbie and I did, but we’ve only been talking.”
An involuntary laugh rolls through me. “I’m not sure if sending dick pics counts as a conversation.” My lips turn down in disgust as I look at Abbie. “Some texts you sent were while I was sitting next to you. You asked to come over while I was sleeping.”
Abbie ignores me and looks to Javi for help.
“You went through my phone, too?” He shakes his head as if I’ve crossed the line when he’s the one who ran miles past it.
“I sure did. I know everything. You’re a piece of shit.” Rage is the only thing keeping me from crying.
“If you saw the messages, then why didn’t you have enough self-respect to leave? Why follow me? Something’s seriously wrong with you.” He looks as if I’ve genuinely disappointed him.
