If We Could Go Back, page 13
My what…? Oh. “I looked like a bloody fool with it.” Unlike him. I eye-fucked his flawless body, taking in the ink, the nipple ring—he’d changed it to an actual ring too—and his defined yet lean muscles. “My God, you’re perfect, Kieran.” I nuzzled his jaw and kissed my way down his neck to his sternum. My hands followed, and I became greedier for every second that passed.
How could a man be so fucking sexy? It was incredible. He was incredible, and I couldn’t get enough.
He sucked in a breath when I flicked my tongue over his piercing and wrapped my lips around it.
Before I knew it, we were tumbling down onto the couch, and he landed on top of me with a feral look in his eyes that drove me insane with lust. In between devouring kisses, we got rid of the rest of our clothes, and I was sure my heart stopped the moment I saw all of him.
“Jesus Christ,” I whispered raggedly. “No, wait.” I wasn’t ready for him to lie down on me again—not yet. I had to see him. I had to stare. I had to touch him. I swallowed hard and sat up, and I put my hands on his hips.
He stayed there on his knees before me, his long fingers disappearing into my hair. I groaned at the sensations and pressed my lips to that V along his abs.
“Tell me I turn you on,” he murmured.
I shuddered and slowly wrapped my fingers around his cock. I couldn’t look away from it. Even as it made me nervous. I wanted to taste him, to suck him off, but he’d have to guide me. “There’s no word for how much,” I confessed. The skin around him was so soft and smooth, and combined with how rock hard he was in my hand, even my brain couldn’t process how much he turned me on. It was as if I’d been hit in the back of the head with a new universe, and it was all mine to explore. “I’ll need you a lot.” I glanced up at him.
He swallowed and nodded once. “Every chance we get.”
Chapter 13
We did take every chance we got.
We didn’t even touch our lunch the following Wednesday when I came to his office. Seconds after I’d arrived, we were naked on his couch, kissing and grinding and kissing and touching.
I wanted my mouth on him again. I had to. My first experience with giving Kieran a blow job had almost made me come. He’d settled my nerves and hadn’t cared about finesse or my lack of experience.
I raked my fingers down his torso as I dropped kisses below his navel, and he groaned and scrubbed his hands over his face. Then I gripped his cock and sucked him into my mouth, to which he muffled a curse with his knuckle.
The way he reacted to what I did… How responsive he was, how expressive—and that goddamn honesty. That was my new drug.
I swirled my tongue around the head, and a spurt of pre-come hit my taste buds. Good God. I moaned around him and closed my eyes, getting lost in us. I didn’t care what we did; whether we were kissing or he was sucking my cock, the passion was mind-blowing and unlike anything I’d ever felt with anyone.
“Fuck,” he panted. “Wait. Ben—Jesus, wait. I bought rubbers.”
I licked the underside of his cock and sucked on the head once more, then kissed my way up his body again. “Are you sure?”
He nodded and reached for his discarded trousers on the floor. “I’m done waiting.” He grabbed his wallet and nudged me back. “I wanna feel you for the rest of the day.”
He tore the condom wrapper and handed me a single-use pack of lube.
I swallowed against the dryness in my throat, goose bumps rising across my arms and shoulders. He didn’t want to wait. I was going to fuck him right here in his office. Bloody hell, I couldn’t believe it.
I stifled a moan as he rolled the condom down my cock.
“We’ll go in there.” He nodded at his bathroom. “I wanna watch you in my mirror.”
I followed blindly, too turned on to say anything. We didn’t have room or time for tact or finding the perfect moment. What we had was a collection of stolen right here and now.
He gripped the edge of the sink as I coated my cock with lube, and we locked eyes in the mirror.
I’ll be careful.
I kissed his shoulder blade and slipped two wet fingers between his ass cheeks. When I slowly pushed my middle finger inside of him, his eyes fluttered closed, and he clenched his jaw.
“More,” he breathed. “I need it. Fuck—I’ve missed this.”
I cleared my throat, a twinge of jealousy spearing me. “Keep that to yourself, Kieran. I don’t want to hear about you and other men.”
“The only other one, you mean?” He grunted as I pushed in a second digit. “That’s not what I meant anyway. I meant—this. Being myself, being able to crave you, getting what I want.”
I hummed and placed another kiss along his spine. “Good answer.” Then I rested my forehead against his back and focused on feeling him. He was so tight around my fingers, and it was going to take all my self-control not to come in two minutes.
“Fuck, Ben,” he moaned. “Give me your big cock.”
I whispered a curse and withdrew my fingers. Gripping my cock, I rubbed the head of me around his opening and spread the excess lube. It was the sexiest sight, and I couldn’t help but think of when it was me. I wanted him to fuck me more than I thought imaginable.
I pushed inside him as slowly as I could, both for his sake and mine. My brain was a jumbled mess of feelings and sensations, and the only thing I could grasp at was how right this felt. And again…the hunger for him grew. How was that even possible? We locked eyes in the mirror once more, and I held my breath.
“Ben…” The pleasure written across his face was almost too much for me.
My jaw ticked with tension. If I already had to stave off my orgasm, I was in trouble.
“We need more time together,” he whispered through clenched teeth. “A whole night. Can—fuck—can you imagine?”
I had imagined it. But it wasn’t like he could sleep over at my place without raising red flags.
However… “I go to Boston next week.”
He sucked in a sharp breath as I pushed in deeper. “I should visit my mother. See how she’s doing after her fall.”
“You should,” I grunted. “You wanna be a good son.”
“So fucking good,” he groaned. “Fuck, keep going.”
“Oh, fuck,” I gasped, my eyes flashing open. “Keep going.” The searing pain was being doused in fiery pleasure every time he reached deeper. “Kieran…” I moaned into the pillow and fisted the sheets.
I didn’t know, I didn’t fucking know.
After two days in Boston, I was over his careful approach. I was done with the teasing and the sensual play of his fingers. I appreciated it, but I was done. And now… Finally. I felt his warm breath against my neck, followed by his lips and openmouthed kisses.
“You’re so goddamn tight,” he whispered shallowly. “You have the sweetest ass, did you know? It makes me wanna fuck you six ways to Sunday, call you baby, and tie you to the bed.”
I groaned loudly, beyond overwhelmed and desperate. “Do it. All of it.” I was done testing the waters too. We’d been doing that for a couple weeks now, and we were better than that. We could go all in and just be raw, animalistic, and rough.
He sank into me with a hiss, and I forced myself to relax. His cock was officially buried in my ass, and part of me still couldn’t believe any of this was happening. That we were actually pulling it off.
He wouldn’t leave tonight either. He’d told his family he was going to catch up with buddies. In reality, we were going to spend the night together for the first time ever.
“I need to see you.” He pulled out carefully, and despite that, I winced at the pain. “Turn around.”
I rolled over and yanked him down on me.
He grinned into a messy kiss as he guided his cock back into my ass. “You don’t have any meetings until tomorrow afternoon.”
“Correct.” I breathed heavily, all while trying to keep up with the deep-seated urgency of his kisses.
“And I’m not going back to Quincy until dinner tomorrow,” he went on, panting. “We have over twenty-four hours. Just you and me. What do you wanna do?”
I went with honesty. “Pretend that this is it.”
He stopped, buried all the way in, and stared at me. Desire mingled with trepidation in his gorgeous eyes, but I didn’t waver. I wanted it. It was twenty-four hours.
“That could be dangerous,” he murmured. “I already want you too much.”
“We’re both adults.” I reached up and nipped at his bottom lip. “We know the boundaries. Nothing changes when we go home.”
He lowered his gaze to my mouth, where he dropped a soft, lingering kiss. “You sound more confident than I am, but I can’t resist. We’ll pretend.” He sealed the agreement with a burning kiss, and I felt his fingers sliding down my arms. First, I thought he was going to thread our fingers together, but then I realized what he was doing.
He took off my wedding band. He took off his own.
He began fucking me harder.
“Nothing changes when we go home.”
Nothing would change, but it had been easy to say it before I spent a night with Kieran Marshall.
We woke each other up several times during the night. Just to kiss, to get closer, or to fuck again. We were equally starved for intimacy, and it seemed sleeping in clothes had been out of the question for both of us for more than one reason.
Around eight, I woke up again to him kissing my neck. His morning wood was pressing against my ass, and as tempting as another round of sex was, my stomach was tight with hunger.
“Morning,” he murmured.
I yawned and stretched, rolling onto my back. “Good morning.” Tilting my head, I stole a firm kiss. “Sharing a bed with you is…” I sighed and stared up at the ceiling.
“Mmm.” He brushed his nose against my jaw and stroked my chest. “Sorry if I got too handsy.”
I chuckled drowsily and turned on my side to face him better. “It was exactly what I needed, Kieran. I’ve been…”
“Lonely?”
I dipped my chin.
“Yeah, me too.” He pulled me close and hitched my leg over his hip.
“So I take it you’re not like this with Maggie?”
He rumbled a sleepy laugh. “That’s funny.”
I didn’t think so. I feared more and more of these thoughts were going to pop up in my head. Because the way he was with me was out of this world, and merely a fraction of it aimed at Maggie was already making me jealous. That wasn’t good.
“We should eat,” he said, still amused. “Room service?”
There was a magnificent buffet in the hotel restaurant, but I had a feeling that would make him antsy.
“Room service sounds great.”
I had another trip to Boston at the end of January, and I was on my own for that one.
I got home late on Sunday, also known as my birthday, and there was a surprise waiting for me at home. Not only did I not have to pick up a tired Jess and Nate from Dad’s, but they were up and alert—at my house—and Brianna was there too.
“Happy birthday, Daddy!” Jess shouted, running toward me in the hallway.
I grinned tiredly and scooped him up. “Thank you, my darling boy.” I kissed his cheek, feeling warm all over, and grinned at Nate in the doorway to the living room. He was smirking and holding up a big present. “That’s not for me, is it?”
He nodded and walked over. “Auntie Brianna helped us buy it.”
Not Allison?
I knew she wasn’t coming home—even for my get-together next weekend—but Christ.
As Jess jumped down, I hugged Nathan and kissed the top of his head. “I missed you.”
He quirked a grin up at me. “You’re thirty now. Is it any different from twenty-nine?”
I chuckled and shook my head. “Not much, no.”
Dad and Brianna were next, and I hugged and thanked them for being here. “You didn’t have to,” I felt the need to add. “It’s late. You’re not heading back to Seattle tonight, are you?” I looked to my sister.
“I’m here for the week, actually,” she said with a smile. “I couldn’t miss my baby brother’s thirtieth.”
This was both wonderful and frightening news. I was prepared for her to meet Kieran for the first time at my little party, and that hadn’t worried me. We’d be surrounded by friends and coworkers, not to mention alcohol, so she wouldn’t be able to analyze too much. If she was here for the week, however…?
“Well, let’s not stand around here all night,” Dad decided. “Bri picked up a cake too.”
I glanced at her immediately, and she laughed.
“Yes, from that place you like so much.”
“I love you,” I told her.
We gathered in the living room, and while Brianna cut the cake—this fantastic lemon meringue tart from a bakery in the city—I shrugged out of my suit jacket and removed my tie.
It even read “Happy 30th, Bennett!” on the cake.
My chest constricted with the love I felt for my family.
There were more gifts on the table.
From the big box from Nate and Jess, I unpacked a brand-new briefcase that made me misty-eyed. Rather than engraving initials underneath the lock, it read “Nate and Jess’s dad.”
“Do you like that stuff, Daddy?” Jess asked imploringly. “I wanted to buy a dinosaur.”
I smiled. “I love it—”
“Shh!” Nate scowled at his brother.
Brianna chuckled. “Open it.”
Half confused, I opened the briefcase to find three smaller presents.
My sister was the best, in short. The boys had picked out something on their own too. There was a tiny plastic toy dinosaur from Jess—a mascot, he said, to remind me of him. From Nate, I received a model of a DNA strand he’d put together in school.
“Maybe you can keep it in your office?” he suggested.
“Of course I will,” I replied, swallowing past the emotions. “Everyone’s gonna know what a genius kid I have.”
He blushed.
Aside from shelling out too much money on the leather briefcase, Brianna had also given me a new wallet, and there was already a picture inside it. It was of her and the boys.
“Your three favorites,” she said cheekily.
I laughed under my breath and left my seat to kiss her cheek. “Thank you, short stuff. You’re definitely my favorite sister.”
“Dad, you only have one,” Nate informed me.
I grinned and sat down again.
“My turn.” Dad handed over a plastic bag, and it was such a specific size that I wondered if he was giving me a record.
Brianna must’ve drawn the same conclusion. “We use CDs these days, Dad. It’s been a thing for fifteen years.”
I peered into the bag and frowned. It was a record. It was mine. I only owned a dozen of them, and I definitely had this. “Uh.” No…this wasn’t mine at all. I pulled out the record and saw it was a special edition of one I had. “Bloody hell!” It was signed. It was signed by Lincoln Hayes. “How…?” I gave my father a dumbstruck look before I refocused on the record. Where did he get this from? Good grief, talk about mint condition.
“I saw Ellis,” he replied. He looked a little smug. “I found the record online, though.”
My forehead creased. “I was in Boston for two days. In that time, how did you get to be on a first-name basis with my boss?”
“Nice fella,” he said with a nod. “He lives around here, did you know? But I ran into both Ellis and Lincoln at the store.” He shrugged. “So I asked.”
I shook my head, quite dazed.
“There should be a note,” he told me.
There was nothing inside, but when I turned the record over, I saw it.
I was told you’d probably be too shy to ask for my autograph at our meeting. I won’t hold that against you. Happy birthday, Bennett.
Lincoln Hayes
PS: My pop used to buy me records when I was a kid. He knew what I could become before I did.
I didn’t know what to say. Part of me was positively mortified that my father had done this. I certainly wouldn’t have been too shy to ask for an autograph; the reason I had no plan to do so was because it would’ve been incredibly unprofessional. At the same time…holy shit, I had a signed Path of Destruction record.
“I will cherish this till the day I die,” I stated. “But goodness, Dad, sometimes I feel like a teenager around you. Did you have to tell a famous person that your son was too shy to ask for an autograph?”
Brianna started laughing and asked to see the note.
Dad found me amusing too. “Ellis may have mentioned that you’d give me grief for that part.”
No kidding.
Kieran cracked up when I told him about the gift a couple days later. We’d arrived home at the same time, so here we stood, on either side of the picket fence that separated our driveways.
“You gotta admit, your little rock-star crush is cute,” he chuckled.
I rolled my eyes. “Are you telling me you never idolized anyone growing up?”
“Oh, sure.” He scratched his eyebrow with his car key. “Red Sox players, a couple Bruins—”
“Yeah, yeah, I get it. You were only into macho sports. I liked musicians.”
He smirked and walked a bit closer, and he leaned forward theatrically. “I jacked off to the players too. Still macho?”
No, but sexy as hell.
I wanted to kiss him. How wonderful would it be to just lean over the fence and plant one on him?
“That may have been the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen, when you got off in the shower.” I kept my voice down, even though no one was around. And that memory…Christ. It made me want more hotel nights with him.
He’d watched me watch him.
I could see that the memory swept Kieran away a bit too, though he recovered quickly and chuckled while he rubbed the back of his neck. “Have I told you you’re dangerous?”
I smirked.
