Warlock, page 35
“It’s just… Look, we’ll…”
“What are you does near my school?”
He looked at me and hesitated for a second:
“I… I just passed by.”
Remember, kids – never, you hear me, never think about your future children as like an idiots!
“Right,” said Mara. “Have a nice day, dad.”
She stood from a stool in a kitchen and went to the room.
“He wants to see that bitch!” screamed my mom. “That long legged… How is it there ... That book slut!”
Dad screamed in answer:
“Do not call her like that!”
Mara stopped for a second, and closed a door behind her back.
I shake with my head and looked at the chest. It stays in the corner of the room, but I can’t watch on it because of bending of that corner. It seems like that chest stand in a niche, or hole, meter into the wall, but I know that behind that wall is just a street air. I know the cause perfectly – guarding signs, around the chest, and on it too. But I can’t recall any information about it, or it’s intestine. I’m afraid of it, and doubt that I can stand that things that I’ll see there.
But I call Mara.
She appears near me, watching in the window. She looks for a second or two and said:
“You know, you pulled me out from that far lands, I am searching on prophet.”
I was disoriented and intrigued, so I ask her:
“That guy in the monk robe?”
She turns to me, with a bitter smile on her face:
“No. I talk about that great creature that you saw in one of his dreams that is a prophet,”
I frowned and tried to manage her ill logic:
“Neither prophet needs to bring us an ideas of new religion? Neither he need to bring new man in new church?”
Mara’s smile faded, but something from that smile left in her eyes, some light in her yellow eyes, that I can’t stand last days:
“Didn't he do that? Words means nothing when you see true power,” she waved with her head a little and then change the theme rapidly. “Oh, you find my last purchase. Nice, huh?”
I giggled a little inside of me, my shell was too tired even for this – I imagine how I’ll ask her with a groan moaning “What’s in the boooox”. What is missing is Morgan Freeman's next to me.
I'm looking on the chest and afraid of it, of what it could content.
Mara looked at me, and asked:
"Do I need to worry about my stuff?" But then she looked at me with more attention and smiled. "I see, you scared about it more than interested "
She did a couple of steps to it, and nocked five times on its top with a pauses - two-pause-two-pause-one. My heart goes wild, beating, and whet there was a gap under the top, I felt like it's stopped. She looked at me:
"Come here and look. I have not any secrets from you. Come."
I made a couple of steps to the ghostly niche, and my imagination draw to me some acid green color that may light on me when I'll open the chest. I grab the top and hold my breath. Then I lift it fast. Nothing happened except of that must be - chest opened, no light, gas, or something unexpected happened. With a breath still hold I looked inside. There were dozens of different things, from a first sight it was a set of separate things that you can find in a pocket of the first grader.
But I knew what was behind of this set. First thing that dropped in my eye was dogs jawbone and flask with a dark liquid and piece o half rotten bandage. I also saw some feathers, needles, plastic bag there with something dark. My sight becomes blurry, and I'm turns from the chest. That was a set of voodoo practice, all connected to that place in the woods, where was a lethal road turn. And also I knew one thing that scared me most of all - I knew that all that stuff I made, I cut out, put out, decanted from something...
I wanted to walk out from the chest, and even turned from it, but hear Maras voice:
"Let's take something from there, honey."
I watch how my hands took a flask with a blood (of course it was blood, and more accurate - that dead dog blood that I beat to the death early.), needles, candle (of a strange, green color), and feathers. I asked her:
"What for all that stuff?"
She looked at me and inclined her head:
"Really?" She asked. "You know perfectly that we will make a bird for our miss Prey,"
I frowned:
"Wh..."
"Do not pretend that you're sillier then you are."
I looked deeply into myself and found an answer easily:
"She... She and my dad..."
Mara raised her hands in the air:
"Bingo! Ladies and gentleman, we have a fucking genius here!" She turns calm, almost cold. "I'll make her suffer."”
“Diary entry #62.
Today, two days later I opened my eyes standing across the street on a little play that would before me. Just for me. And I can’t move or do something. I was locked for these two days, just like a spectator – role that Mara gives me more often this days… And you know what? I don't have a strength or will to perform my usual behavior. I’m too tired. And now, I watch on everything with a sort of apathy. And fear.
If I’ll can choose a name of the play, I’ll name it “aftermath”, but I know that tulpa have her own – “revenge”.
Across the street doors of the school opens, and Ms. Prey step out, screaming, and holding her hand. In the same moment one of my classmates looking under his boots and see a coin with something brown on it which lies on the road. This guy – is a remaining bully from the gang that beats me. He stretches down and hears scream. He looks to the school doors. As a driver, who just turn on the street.
Scenery was set a couple of hour ago. Mara doesn’t want to involve that poor bastard, and Ms. Prey was her target for today, but Mara decided to show me something like a gala concert. The bully pushed me and Mara when we stepped out from the cafeteria and said something rude. Mara smiled, and start walking to the exit from the school. I hear voice of Ms. Prey behind my back:
“Class would start soon!”
“I’ll be in time,” said Mara with my voice. And then continued with her mind just for me:
“I’ll tell you a story about of group of pilots. They had a very important, secret mission. They departed from their base excited, and had that mood all the way to their goal. They needed to drop their load, just one thing, and make photos, evidence to the history. They, actually, were the history, their flight, and themselves, even before the time that they awaited.”
We walk out to the street, and she pulled my hand in my (or it’s now her own?) pocket. She took something out and looked in front of me, to other part of the street, across the road. She continued in that tone:
“And then, they complete their mission. They dropped their cargo. They have euphoria. But then, history show its fangs. Its shows the price and its greatness. Majesty.”
She tossed something into the air, and now I figured out what’s this.
“Their craft was named “Pangea, and their cargo was “Big daddy” They saw first combat nuclear explosion.”
Mara turned to the class with a smile, and finished her story:
“I had told you all this just for one reason – do not turn out from the history, from your own doings. They’ll bite you anyway, but if you’ll meet it looking right into its muzzle, you can feel or even take a part of its splendor.”
When Mara opened the classroom all were sat behind their places, and Ms. Prey said:
“I glad that you come.”
And tulpa smiled, passes this words through her with a silent, but I saw what was up into her mind. She wants to set a scene, but a little bit later. Mara wanted a scandal, but only when all scenery would be on its places. She sat at the last desk.
Fifteen minutes later Mara took a little thing that remind a bird from our bag. Mockingbird, actually. Mara thought that it would be funny to hit her with something that became common for me and her in my previous life. The hardest way we can hurt only people that we know. And Mara know perfectly how to pin her. Today we had talked about “Brave New World”, by Aldous Huxley and when Ms. Prey told us about polygamy that author describe there. Mara dropped feather thing to the other desk that stood near us empty, and said that she knew a couple of people, who can find polygamy very comfortable thing. Everyone giggled, but Mara’s face was absolutely serious. Ms. Prey tried to continue a lesson, talking about native guy, who can’t have understood all this rules, and once again Mara said her word, now, more directed, something like “I can understand him. Totally.”
She asked, not turning her head:
“Well, tell us then, Antony.”
Then she turned to me second time, and by her reaction on Mara’s face, she saw that something bad must to be happened. Mara said:
“When someone thinks that she (or he), can fuck anyone” … here starts some giggling again, but without understanding that something more than curse that slipped away happened…” from her (or his) point of view it may be a casual, usual thing. But to other people it may be just wrong”
I saw Ms. Preys cheeks reddish, and she with a voice with a little crack said to me:
“Watch on words, An…”
“What do you mean? Fucking?” …now giggles were mixed with some stupor around.” But when some… Hmmm… For example, a young school teacher, and she found some guy to fuck, she can never mind between that fucking sessions that guy can have….”
Ms. Prey was on the edge of hysterics, she screamed:
“Enough!”
Mara laughed inside of our little inner space, and said to the class in a calm tone:
“Why? Something familiar?”
“Out,” said Ms. Prey. “Get out.”
Mara shrugged her shoulders, smiled, took our (hers) bag and went to the exit. In the doorway she told to the teacher calmly:
“What a nice story, huh?”
And here I am, watching on play, that Mara promised to me. One of the main characters wanted to take coin from the road, and saw other, screaming. In the next second two things happened at the same time – car hit bully straight into the head, and arm of Ms. Prey infected so much that it became inoperable.
And I don’t even know what thing scares me more – eyeball on the asphalt and screams around dead body of my classmate, fact that I knew about poisoning in the hand of my teacher, that fact that had I known all this before it’s happened, or that I watched directly to the Fred and Mary, smiling.
Now I know a couple of new things. First – Fred and Mara knew everything. It’s not too hard to see all picture, given that they know about Mara. Second told me Mara when an ambulance took dead body and Ms. Prey from the school – my dad would return home soon.”
“Diary entry #63.
Two? Three weeks passed?
I do not know… I want to sleep, and knocks out every time when I can. Mara is near the wheel, and I do not care. She wakes me out when she need me, like a prisoner, hostage, or… Or what the fuck does she needs from me? Life strength? Energy? Some infernal juices? Sometimes she even wakes me for a sex, but now she uses me, just like that. Nothing like BDSM, when there is a discovering something beyond your edges, nothing erotically – just leveling down all hormones.
It's like a death every time when she took my place.
…
I imagine how I take razor, and cut my veins. Along.
…
And then I have an hour in real world. Half of the time I am struggling with dazzle, because I forgot how to manage with my body in reality. Then I’m opening my diary and find a sets of papers that drawn by Mara. There is a hexagon schemes like mandala, some receipts, written in a strange language and pictures from other worlds. Other time that I can spent conscious took writing down everything that I can recall from my blackout. The further – the lesser time I need to do this.
Then I’m dying again.
…
I imagine how I choke myself with a belt on the door.
…
I’m walking out from my regular black out and saw Fred and Mary. I’m looking around and saw that they stood into the doorway of my room. I look onto the clock on the wall and see that it’s a midday. It’s a weekend then. That incident in a school was on Wednesday. So, it’s a half of the week, or one and a half? Two maybe? Fuck it.
I notice that all this time Fred is saying something. He says:
“And we’ll find a way…”
“Really?” ask Mara. I’m an observer. Again. “And what do you tell to them? Hey, everyone that shit that happened with our slutty teacher – that sub consciousness of one guy done? Yeah, and that crash just before a teacher – that is that tulpa thing too? Don’t be stupid.”
She looked at them and smiled:
“Anything else?”
Mary looked on Fred, then turned her eyes to me (us) and said:
“What else you done to us?”
My tulpa smiled inside, but then with all seriousness said:
“Else, honey?” Mary frowned for a second, but then I saw how she is flinched from next Mara’s words. “You mean what else I had a dome except of shutting you up on a theme of tulpa? Nothing. Just protect myself from stupid things that you may make to you in a first place.”
Mara looked at them for a second. A short second, but it was enough to set conviction in both of them, that she’s serious. Then she said:
“But you can be sure that I can do a lot of interesting things”
Fred done step to me. His face was severe:
“We can’t say to everyone that it’s your job, but…”
Mara laughed once again inside of my mind prison, but aloud said in a whisper:
“But what? One dumb guy can’t look to his sides. Other slut – took something from the floor. Shit happens. And do not forget that you own me for the test. So let’s trade your silence to that help, huh? Not a big price to prevent your dearest from such things? Have a nice night. You’ll find a way out.”
…
I imagine how I take gun, and blow my brains off.
…
I open my eyes and see mom and dad in front of me at the kitchen table. She is drunk, but this fact doesn’t bother him. He looks at me, and I see in his eyes strange mix of rage and… fear? Yeah, I’m scaring him, and Mara feel it. She licks these emotions from his skin. She eats this fear with her spliced tongue. He asks me:
“What do you do to her?”
And Mara smiling, inside and outside. She pisses them off.
“Wrong question,” she said, looking at them. I see that mom isn’t drunk – she is scared to death. “Right question what would be next. Next – I’ll go to my room and would continue things that you interrupt. Dad – would return to us, and we’ll pretend that we are normal family. Mom…” Mara smiled carnivorously. «You know what would happen if you touch alcohol once again…”
Dad look at her. Now there was no fury in his eyes – pure fright.
“What he…”
She lowered her eyes, and said, looking on the table:
“He made me sick…”
Mara grimaced, and move with her hand theatrically:
“No, Mom!” she pointed with hand on dad and nodded. “Tell him all truth.”
Mom hided her face in her hands and started to cry. My tulpa waits for a second, and took a quick glance from my dad, and then said:
“Here. Now, tell everything.”
” I… I was drunk once…” my Mom can’t talk smoothly, but tried to. “And…”
“She wants to tell that she lies here,” said Mara. “On the kitchen. Almost naked, in a gown and spattered with her own vomit, an…”
And then my mom blown up with a scream. I saw a vein on her forehead that became visible when she screamed:
“SHUT UP!!! You!!! YOU FREAK!!! SHUUUUT UP!”
A millisecond of silence and Mara’s laugh:
“Oh, mom. You’re so funny,” she looks up on dad and said. “So, I sit in front of her, and ask her to wake up, and see what she had done with herself. With our life. With me. And then she washed up with vodka, clean herself with vodka. Right, mom?”
Mom start to cry once again, all her strength she uses on that moment of wrath, now she reminds me forgotten puppet:
“He made me do it… Made me…” She lifts her eyes on me. “You made me…”
Mara grimaced once again, now with the serious face:
“I don’t touch you. Even with a finger. You. All. Done. By. Yourself.”
Mom started to cry. Bitterly, do not lift her head. Mara looked at her, and continue with a serious face, looking just on my father, like there was nobody else in a kitchen:
“So,” tulpa tells seriously. “She washed up with an alcohol and brings up to the shower every alcohol that she could find in our house. Everything that she hides or left for the next day. Even a cologne. Right, mom?” Last question she put without any move from father’s eyes, and without any answer she finished. «Then the wash herself with a booze. You know, like a human after a thirsty day – trying to suck liquid with all pores of a skin. Then she felt bad. It was an intoxication maybe. I asked her, can I help her? Maybe with buying of some vodka or wine. But she refused. One day she was at bed, and now…” Mara spread her arms. “You see her – clean person.”
Dad looked at crying mom. I saw his uncertainty. And I know that he believes of every word that he hears, he was uncertain about his own normality.
“And now,” said Mara, putting her arms at a table. “I’m going to my room. Mom – calming down, and dad – going to say fucking good bye to his long-legged bitch.”
She smiled with one of my smiles – relaxed and pleased with myself:
“Love you, parents. Have a nice day.”
…
I imagine how I am standing on a roof of a building. School maybe. Or it’s just a small ladder? No matter. I jump down with my head first…
…
Week, two… Dozens of pages written Mara. There foreign words on some schemes. I see something like a knife. Next time when I can breathe myself – I see broken glass and someone’s teeth. She is creating something ugly and something strong. Something not from here. Something that doesn’t belong to this world…
