Warlock, page 31
I felt dizzy and sit on a floor. I called Mara, but she said that she hasn’t enough strength to show up. I ask her, if she somehow connected with a missing day issue? But, fuck. I know the answer.
She says “yes”, in a low voice.
After my question “what a fuck…?” she in the same voice answered that I gave her a life, that was my part of contract in the hospital. On all my argument’s that she has a life and it were stealing a day from me, she answered nothing, except of “Life, Antony. You gave it to me.”
I was shocked. I looked once again on the walls, and almost vomited. But thanks to my early breakfast, it all ended with nothing messy. Next arguing we left to the time after the Ms. Prey visit – she came to me to give a homework to prepare me to school. Again. I like a bug on a damn disc in the gramophone, spinning round, and round, hitting pin with my head in the same place of a circle.
Ms. Prey was beautiful as always, with a nice legs and smile, that complete her look. And once again, I felt something, when she came to me in a room. Something different, something thinner then air, something that you can’t feel even with your skin – just a nerves. To be honest, she felt something too, but I’m sure that that was her reaction to the room, and it’s an upgrade. She looked around a couple of times, trying to understand what does bores her. Same sight I saw in my parent’s eyes and noticed that they enter my room much rarely now.
Ms. Prey told me about a test in the end of the month and asked something about car crash. I said that my memory failed me a little with all this stuff, and she left her question. She said that if I’m interesting in a dances – they have a ball in the end of the year, or summer dance – that name and definition suits more to sense and time of the year. I asked her, what’s happened if I fail the test, and she can’t answer me properly. Maybe, she said, they let me to pass, but she can’t be sure.
I almost see Mara’s smiling.
Ms. Prey gives me book to read one Ray Bradbury book, which I put on my desk, and took a little walk with Ms. Prey to her car. I asked her how’s class mood and how was the funeral of a bully. She looks at her shoes and said:
“Sad. Tough,” then she lifts her eyes on me and said. “I know that you weren’t friends with him, but, I ask you to… To take attitude some of his friends… It would be hard to them to look at you…”
Her sigh dropped, and her cheeks blushed a little.
“I know that you had a hard times…”
“I understood you perfectly,” I said. “I’ll try too.”
“Thanks,”
Saying this, she sat in the car and waved me. There was a smile on her face, strange one, and maybe a sad, but a smile.
Anyway, I was still confused with that feeling. It doesn’t disappear.
I passed my dad, that stood in a kitchen with a mug of coffee, do not answer of his question (honestly, I have more serious things to do), and went up to my room.
There I opened my notebook on a page that I do not remember I drawing, and call Mara. She appeared, smiling:
“Test, huh?”
“What the fuck, Mara? How dare you…”
She frowned:
“Repeat that you just said?”
There were knocking to my room, and father’s head appeared in the opening:
“Antony, is there all…”
“All right, dad.”
He stood in the doorway. Parents remind me a vampires last days – like that undead, they do not allow to enter a room. But bloodsuckers – without invitation and my room… I think that you need serious mental problems to be calm here.
“Look, if you want to talk…”
“No.”
“All right, then”
The door was shut.
I looked at Mara once again – her face was a war mask:
“Just. Say. It. Once. Again.”
Her voice feels like my own blood dripped from my corpse to the drum. I was confused, and… Fuck, I was afraid!
“Mara, look, I said then in a hospital…”
“Life.”
I nodded, “Yes, life, but…”
“Without any “But”, Antony. Life. And I tend to take what is mine. It may be in a nice way, just like yesterday, or you may even be a spectator, or we can play Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll situation.”
Nice. That was just nice. I need to know more. I asked:
“Ok, what do you want?”
Mara smiled, and flow around a room a little, in a small circle, then look at the ceiling:
“You first. What do you want? From a life.”
Now I need to be very careful with choice of words, last attempt brings me totally missed day.
“I want to be someone,” I said. “Not just Antony Tychov, student, worker, father, corpse, ash, molecule. Nothing. I want to be someone, whom people would remember. Whose name will mean something. Really something. I’m not talking about big-ass girl, who became famous because of sex tape, or inherit of the famous hotels, or even sugar Canadian boy, whom parent’s turn into a wet fantasy of a million girls around a world. I do not want to change my IQ and brain to popularity and thousands of fans in a twitter who would write to someone with whom I would argue “Die. Die. Die.” They’re nobody. Clowns. I want to do something, be someone.”
“Money?”
“Of course. I would be a foul, if I do not want them, but… There is no such a thing like “enough amount of money”. And newer would. I think that I can express it like “ability to pay” every bill that I want to.”
“Power?”
“Nope. It’s an additional responsibility, and then you need to secure it and multiply it. No. True power multiply itself, just like an attraction law or the gravitation”
She nodded:
“Nice set.” Mara begins to walk forward and backward. “And I’m afraid that you don’t want all this.” She stopped, ad looked at me. “Truly.”
I looked at her and feel that something ringing out of tension around her. I felt heaviness in my stomach, like someone filled it with melted led. I try to keep it from vomiting.
“You are the part of me,” thought I. “So tell me, what do I want.”
“An answer. A feeling. A view, chance to see a little bit.”
“Of what?”
“Something beyond,” she said seriously. “And tomorrow I’ll show you the path.”
Puff, and she’s gone, leaving a grey smoke after her.
Now, my dirty diary, I’m trying to recall all our dialogue from a hospital, and I can’t. If I would believe that things that I wrote down here some time ago – I let her free, definitely. And… And, yes, she was totally right about my true desires. And today’s bit would finish with a nice irony – book that left me Ms. Prey is “Something Wicked This Way Comes.”
Isn’t that cute? ”
Chapter 16
Morning met Alex with a bad news. Rain was still coming, and they were all wet before their breakfast. After the coffee and eggs with a beacon, they sat a little at the dinner. A half an hour Alex cannot stand anymore, and dialed Janine by himself first.
The more they talked, the greyish becomes his face. When he finished his talk, he grimaced and said to Jim:
“She can’t find it.”
Helper understood most of the information by questions of his friend and reactions, but needs to fill blind spots:
“Anything? There must be traces.”
Alex negatively waved with his head.
“Maybe…” said Jim, trying to think properly. “Maybe they do this at other state? Locals hate Tychov’s, and maybe they…”
”Nope,” said Alex, still waving. “All states around. Nothing.”
He thought a little, and then said:
“Let’s ride to the reverend? Maybe he knows something about this? He’s a local preacher at last.”
Helper looked to his watch:
“Frist – checkout from the hotel.”
Alex dropped a head for a moment and says:
“Ok. Sorry. I know that I had asked one day, and it was yesterday.”
Jim smiled and tapped his friend to the shoulder:
“You have a great story! We shoot an ending at the cemetery. At last,” Said Helper opening the door of the “Nancy’s. «There’s a ton of great stories without ending,”
Saying this, they run across the parking lot.
It was noon, when they put their signs in hotel documents. Weather was still bad, and guys thought that this town would say it’s “good-buy” in this style, hoping that they will drive fast from here. But Alex was unshakable – he needed all story, to the end.
That’s why, twenty minutes later they opened a door of the church.
It was empty, but warm and dry. Barns smiled thinking of symbolism of their state – church is last place at this town, where they are welcomed. Reverend walk to them from backdoor:
“Oh! That’s you again. Good day, gentleman,” He walked to them through an aisle, and shake their hands. “What’s brought up you here in such unpleasant day?”
Reverend pointed with his palm on the benches, but Alex refused his invitation:
“Thanks, we have not much time. Actually, we almost finished our work here. We have one last problem, and hoped that you can help us, reverend.”
Big man in the mantle spread his hands for a second and then clasped with them on his chest:
“Knock and the door will be opened to you”
Alex smiled a little and said:
“We gathered almost all picture about Antony, except of last detail – his funeral. Can you say…”
But he stopped seeing reverend closed his eyes and lowed his head down:
“What?”
“I do not know a thing about his death. Sorry.”
Alex was confused:
“But… But why? Isn’t your church alone here? His parents are rel…”
Reverend lift his palm, and said with a calm voice:
“As I had said to you when you visited me before, Antony’s goal was suicide, and church can’t make a deal with a suicide, as you know. So, I can’t help you here, sorry.”
Barns couple of times opened and close his mouth silently, like a fish, but then he gathered himself, and said:
“But maybe you heard something from locals? Some information that can help us? Something?”
Reverend looked at Alex calmly and said:
“All that I can say about your question is under is secret of confession, I am afraid,” then he slightly tilted his head and continued in the same calm tone. “And I think that it’s for good to you.”
Jim saw as if Alex’s eyes blinked with an inner light:
“Why do you think so, reverend?”
“Because you obsessed with this case. I heard such a tone from Antony, when I saw him last time. And…”
Alex turned around, made couple of steps, and turned around:
“You know, it seems that everyone here lives in their own little worlds. A couple of inches around them. Anyone thought that they could protect themselves if they will just see what they want to. Moreover, if you ask them, they will tell you a story that they want to believe. In addition, know what, reverend? It would be a lie. All the same. But you are the worst – you covered with a religion, with a God, who allowed young boy to perform a suicide. “
Saying this, he stepped out from the church under the rain.
Jim was shocked. He looked at reverend and says:
“I’m sorry, he’s do…”
“Oh, he thought like this, do not sorry for him. Rude, but honestly,” he said.
Helper nodded and shook reverend’s hand:
“Anyway, thank you for all that you said. Have a nice day!”
At the doorway, Jim was stopped by reverend’s cry:
“Mr. Helper!”
A cameraman turned around to see reverend where he left him. Man in the mantle said:
“Despite what your friend thinks, I’m not saying a word of lie to him. And I hope that this case does not affect him too much. Go back home, for your own good”
Jim looked at him for a couple of seconds and left the church.
They drive to the cemetery, find a nice place to shoot an ending, and take a couple of takes. Cemetery keeper met them at the entrance, but then hided in his workshop. Jim and Alex didn’t mind at all, remembering their last visit. Alex was not pleased, and after the shooting went to the van with a gloomy face.
“It’s a fake,” he said at last.
“Hm?”-said Jim
“All this ending,” said Alex. “Fake. Totally.”
Helper nodded, stepping on the wet grass:
“At least you have it, By the way, each of our stories was fake in some sense. You tell them through the prism of your reception, and sanity of our guests and hosts.”
Alex shrugged and decided not to answer. He had a bad mood, as always, when he doesn’t believe in his own stories. He thought that people on the other part of screen would feel it, and with a high percent of probability, that material that they just shoot he would cut by himself. Then Barns, looking on his legs heard that Helper said:
“Oh, f… There something isn’t a fake…”
Alex lifted his head and smiled. His spirits raised up, because he understood that he had a chance for another ending – behind of their van stood a police car. More – Alex knew who was behind a wheel – chief himself. Red and blue lights nicely flashed under the rain, and Alex said, smiling:
“Jim, buddy, please, take a shot,”
Saying this, he bowed like an actor after a performance.
Lights of police car blinked and a chief walked out. His hat was covered with a plastic, green waterproof coat was over his uniform. Guys walked to the head of local police, and shake his hands. Colonel smiled with his bulldog grin and said:
“Good day, Mr. Barns, Mr. Helper. Not the best weather to walk across the tombstones.”
Alex smiled:
“Yes, but our job as same as yours need to be done without looking up the sky”
Chief smiled more cheerfully:
“Cemetery keeper called me and told about your visit,” he shrugged. “It’s not a crime, I’m answered, but thought that visiting of the cemetery must be final words in your story.”
Barns smiled:
“The cemetery is always finale, chief. There are exceptions, but one for million. And this case – not one of them…”
Colonel nodded and looked aside:
“I phoned to your hotel. They said that you checked out,” he looked at the guys, and they nodded. “It means that you’ll drive away soon. So, maybe, we’ll share dinner together?”
Cast of “Abnormal” agreed, and they drove to “Nancy’s” after the chief’s police car. Rain was still coming when they crossed a parking lot and enter into the dinner. The chief ordered meals for three of them, and asked Nan for some alcohol. In the range of law, as he said. Nancy was touched with news of their last meeting and gave guys pies with a lot of crème for free.
“So,” said Colonel, when they ate a little. “Do you get what you searched for here?”
Alex waved with his head and grimaced a little:
“Almost. The strongest underline of this case is q quote of one character that everybody lies,” he stroked his baldhead with a hand. “Everybody tried to tell me some lies. With a small exception, but none of them isn’t brave enough to face a truth”
A chief smiled, and slightly laughed:
“Welcome to club, Alex. Policemen faced it for every day.”
“I know,” said Alex. “But I’m sure that they turn on their TV’s or opened their papers, and would hope for reading and watching a truth. How can they combine these things?”
Colonel cut a piece of pie, and chew it:
“They know about lying. For sure. But they search for a lie that looking like truth. For one-time usage. They use that pretty truthful look, and do not bother about inside. But I heard that you had investigated a lot of things. Tell me about?”
Alex looked on Jim, who shrugged. Barns thought a little, and then told to a chief about everything that he had heard from people around town. He said nothing about the diary, and last two conversations with Antony’s dad and Reverend. In general, Chief listened a script of coming an episode.
When Alex finished his monologue, he shrugged:
“We shot one version of ending but I think that story still lack of it…”
Despite last words, Colonel nodded and said:
“You did a great job, son. If you ever would need a job – tell me.”
Alex smiled:
“Thanks”
Meanwhile, the chief finished his pie and sipped a coffee:
“But the main question is – do you find what you searched here?”
A narrator of the “Abnormal” thought about this question a dozens of times, but don’t find an answer for himself. Looking on the corner of the table, as if in its corner he would see an answer, he said:
“In dry residue – yes…” He looked up on Colonel. “I found that there’s a lot of dark holes around people. Holes that consist of different things inside of them. Some of them covered with a religion, some – in fear, and some – in loneliness… That holes… All of them leads to strange and even scary places, but it depends on human itself where. Some of them is just a road, and in the end of it walker become stronger – like a Nietzsche said. But some of this ways leads to other realities, where human means nothing at all…”
Chief looked on him for a moment and said:
“It may be a religious point of view, if there a place for a God in your scheme.”
Alex shakes his head a little to get rid of dreamy expression in his eyes, and answered:
“Unfortunately, I don’t find God in this story, Just a man. Men with their plusses and minuses, problems, fears and lies. Maybe it is God himself, but I’ll find in either places.”
