Wilde Card, page 36
“Summer used to cut my hair…”
“Come on,” she stood, hauling her up. “It's time for a Wildehurst haircut. The leader of the Rebellion should absolutely not look like a ragamuffin.”
She pushed Talia into the rolling chair in her room and rifled through the desk for a pair of scissors.”Here’s how it’s gonna go,” she announced, brandishing the scissors at her. “You will not tell me what to do, as you used to. This is my barber chair, and as such, the hairstyling is up to me.”
Talia chuckled, “I’ll agree to that, if you agree to stop avoiding me.”
She refused to meet her eyes. “Deal.”
“For example, when you went on an unapproved mission to Bloc 3 with unapproved weapons, again may I add, and brought back their most valuable experiment. All without telling me.”
Tia threw a towel around her shoulders and tucked it into the neck of her shirt. “I thought you were busy.”
“Liar. Why didn’t you tell me? You know I understand this crusade of yours.”
Talia tried to turn her head but she straightened it. She cut a few inches off the back, evening it out, before she replied. “I’m a mess right now, Talia. I don’t want to drag you into this.”
“I’m already in this.”
She let the room descend into silence, watching clumps of dark hair drift to the floor. It was so soft, she didn’t know how Talia managed to keep it that way when she barely had time for herself. She liked the monotony of closing the scissors on all the hair Talia didn’t need - it was calming in a way that she desperately needed. She slipped her fingers through the strands, shaking loose the strays and the clingers. Talia allowed her to cut where and how she wanted, just as promised.
“Is Raghida with Zeta?”
“Hmm.”
“Did you just moan?” she laughed.
Talia's reply was defensive. “I’ve had a headache since I woke up. This feels nice.”
She had been so wrapped up in herself that she hadn’t even thought to ask Talia what had been going on. She finished cutting, tucked the scissors into her pocket and sank her fingers into Talia’s scalp like she had done in the pool. All talking stopped. Her head went slack so the weight of it was resting in Tia’s palms. She smiled to herself as she massaged her. Talia was making noises in the back of her throat like a cat.
She was reminded of a time when they had been fast friends and Tia would come into college aching from her latest free run. Talia was the one who taught her how to massage; she demonstrated on her calves, the time Tia pulled a leg muscle, on her back when she landed wrong, and on her scalp the first time she experienced a migraine. They had been so close. Everything had been so simple. Or so she had thought.
Talia reached behind, wrapped a hand around her wrist and pulled Tia around to face her. She stood between Talia’s thighs, her hands settling on her shoulders. Talia was smiling up at her, the blue in her iris presidential. Her smile was fast becoming Tia’s favourite thing - she had gone from never receiving one to seeing it almost every day. Talia wrapped her arms around her waist and Tia’s breath caught. “You always were good with your hands.”
“Talia-”
She heard the reservations in Tia’s tone and sighed. “Come on, more excuses?”
Tia flushed. “They’re not excuses-”
“Is it Jay?” she interrupted. “You have feelings for him?”
Tia’s mouth snapped shut. That wasn’t something she wanted to discuss. She didn’t know what the hell she felt towards Jay. It was a constant thorn in her side; the contrast between Jay’s warm brown eyes and Talia’s icy blue ones - the way Jay feathered his hands over her body in comparison to the way Talia gripped her.
“No, no this is not about Jay.” She pushed herself away from her. “I feel like I’m spiralling out of control. It feels like I’m losing myself; I - I don’t know who I am anymore. I don’t know where I belong. All I do know is that I have to end this. Project Phoenix, Zeta...I will take Bloc 3 down.”
Talia stood up, pulled Tia back towards her. She came up flush against her chest. Talia slid a hand up to Tia’s face and she wanted nothing more than to fall into her, to just forget it all. But she had a duty to do - it was the only thing that was clear to her.
“You belong here. With me.”
Tia’s eyes popped. “Talia-”
“Look, I’ll give you all the time and space you need to figure yourself out. But I know who you are and where you belong. So I’ll be here when you’re ready.”
Tia felt her pulse thrum. She was so used to Talia taking what she wanted that she was impressed. Self control wasn't something she had ever associated with her. Talia was playing nice - that both surprised her and relieved her at the same time. “Thank you. I need this. I just-”
Talia cut her sentence short by pressing her mouth to Tia’s. She was holding Tia so tight, every length of her body pressed against every length of Tia’s. Mouth to mouth, chest to chest, hips to hips, thigh to thigh. Talia kissed her intensely, with so much force that Tia gasped for air. She forgot to breathe, she was focusing so hard on the electricity running through her bones. She hadn’t thought that anything could shock her nerves as much as kissing Talia in the pool, but this...there was something about the simplicity of this. It was the real message behind her words, how she wanted to show Tia: so I’ll be here when you’re ready.
◆◆◆
Tia took over the watch from Raghida. She showered first, changed into fresh gear and brushed her hair out. Before she headed to the infirmary, she found her way outside to text Jessie that she was staying in the Tunnels that night, just in case she worried. Their relationship was so strained, it hurt to think about what might happen to the bond they’d always had if stretched too thin. Tia didn’t know how to make it up to Jessie; lying to her for so long...it had been a necessity. Her mother just didn’t understand how important this was to her, and Tia just wasn’t willing to give up the Rebellion. She had been kept from her legacy for so long, she couldn't turn her back on it to please her mother. She had to get justice for Andy, for all those women, for Zeta and all her dead brothers.
Raghida looked relieved to see Tia when she turned up. She said something in Arabic which Tia took to mean ‘thank God’.
“She’s been talking about Friends for 3 hours,” she muttered in the corridor.
Tia laughed. “What?”
“She grew up in the bloc, right? So everything she’s learnt is either from TV, books or what they’ve told her. Friends was her favourite.”
“Well, this should be fun; Kal and I love friends.”
Raghida didn’t find it amusing. She leaned against the door, wiping her hand over her face. Her hair was sticking to her face via sweat. “Before I go and sleep for 1000 years...you wanna tell me what’s going on with you and your little...love triangle?”
Tia groaned. “Oh Raghida, not you too. Why does everyone want to talk about my love life?”
“Why not?”
“We have rescued a woman from a lab where they harvested her eggs to make mutant baby soldiers...and you all want to gossip about my love life!”
Raghida snorted. “Tia, did it ever occur to you that this is precisely why people want to talk ’about your love life’? Right now, everything is up in the air. We just stole government property from a heavily guarded building - just walked right out with her. It won’t take them long to figure out it was the Rebellion, and then they’re going to be looking for us. Shit is about to hit the fan. Why wouldn’t people want to clarify their relationships?”
Well, when she put it like that. Tia rolled her eyes, pinched the bridge of her nose. She was getting a headache. “It’s not a love triangle.”
“Looks like that to me. I knew about you and Jay already, although I was hoping you guys would tell me on your own-”
Tia gaped. “How?”
“Eliza.”
Tia had a flashback of Eliza running into the sparring room to call Tia, bursting in on her and Jay in an embrace. Ah. Of course she had told Raghida. “I didn’t know what to say.”
“How about: ‘hey Raghida, just wanted to let you know, I’m kind of more than a little into your best friend’. That would have worked fine.” She smiled. “But I get it now. You didn’t say anything because of Natalia. Now, that, I did not see coming.”
Tia cringed. “It’s complicated.”
“Tell me.”
She blew her mouth out in a raspberry. Where to even begin? She hadn't told anyone, not even Kal, about all the developments. It was just so much to take in. She decided to start at the end. Raghida listened avidly until Tia was out of breath from speaking so fast. She waited for a reaction.
“Wow, so she really just professed her love for you and you shot her down. And you said she was the arsehole.”
“She is the arsehole!” Tia protested. She realised too late that Raghida was joking. “And she didn’t profess her love for me.”
“Sounded like that to me.”
“I am just...so lost.”
Raghida lay a kind hand on her shoulder. “Well, if you did just shoot down the Leader of the Rebellion for Jay, then you must have lost your damn mind somewhere in Bloc 3.”
“Is he here?” Tia groaned.
“He went home, or he would have been here by now,” Raghida said, giving Tia a reason to relax. She couldn’t deal with having this conversation for a third time tonight. If Jay was at home then she could concentrate on Zeta, come up with a new plan.
“Okay, thank you. You should go home yourself and rest. You’re exhausted.”
Raghida didn’t protest. She left, leaving Tia chewing at her lip.
Zeta was lying across the bed, upside down. Her head was at the foot, her leg cocked to form a slender triangle. For a moment, Tia stood by the door and just watched her. She was strange, this mutation of a human. Was she supposed to say girl, woman...mutant? As if sensing her thoughts, Zeta rolled onto her stomach and fixed her eye on Tia.
“Do you want my advice?” Zeta asked.
Startled, Tia laughed bluntly. “About what?”
“Your love triangle.”
Tia frowned. “What-”
“I have extremely good hearing. Scent, too. Like a bloodhound,” Zeta explained helpfully.
“Great,” Tia muttered. “No, thank you. I’m done talking about myself for the day, if not for the rest of the century. Are you hungry?”
Zeta shrugged, as if to say: your loss. She then beamed. “Starving.”
Tia had brought her some boots to wear and a hat, in case she felt out of place. Zeta had taken the boots but not the hat; she was comfortable with her hairstyle - or lack of - apparently. They walked to the canteen together, and it took twice as long as it should have because Zeta wanted to trail her hands along every corridor. She liked the feel of the rough walls, being used to the smooth plaster of her old room.
When they finally did arrive, there were only a handful of people milling around. Tia realised that it was nearing midnight. She grabbed two plates, passing the cutlery to Zeta to hold whose eyes nearly popped out of her head when she saw that there were burgers and fries.
“You’ve never seen a burger before?” Tia asked, filling both their plates.
“I’ve seen them on TV but I wasn’t allowed to eat anything unhealthy. For my eggs,” she grinned, as if it was a normal thing to say. You know.
They took their seats and Tia realised that people were staring. She wasn’t surprised; Zeta was stunning - they would want to know who the new Rebel was. She watched as the girl gingerly bit into her burger, her eyes closing in pleasure as she chewed. She swallowed quickly and began to devour the rest. She left her fries last, wiping each one through the sauce, savouring them one by one. It was only when she finished her plate that Tia realised she had been so distracted that she hadn’t touched her own.
“That was better than I ever thought it would be,” Zeta grinned. She had a red splodge on her cheek. Tia reached out to wipe it away but Zeta cringed away from her.
“I’m sorry,” the girl stammered. “Habit.”
“Did they punish you?”
“Only one of them. He was...what do you call it -” she clicked her fingers, searching for the word. “A sadist!”
She began shovelling jelly into her mouth. Nothing seemed to bother her; she had a personality like rubber - you could stretch it any which way and she would just adapt.
But Tia narrowed her eyes, her appetite lost. “What was his name?”
“I only know his surname: Burke.”
Tia committed the name to memory. Burke. She would make sure she looked for him personally. She watched Zeta some more, the way her gangly elbows pistoned as she raised the cutlery to her mouth. She was graceful in all movements - it was fascinating.
“You don’t seem very traumatised?” Tia formed it like a question. She wasn’t sure if she was allowed to say that. Obviously she knew that people could hide their true emotions behind a facade but Zeta didn’t seem to be repressing anything. She seemed...fine.
Zeta raised one shoulder and dropped it. “I read a lot of books on meditation. One of the scientists, Jensen, she brought me books on whatever I asked for. I learned to meditate through the trauma.”
The girl was a phenomenon. She took everything that made a human, so human, and made it all other. Tia’s respect for her grew.
“You remember everything you read?”
“I have a photographic memory,” she glanced at Tia’s untouched food. “Are you going to eat that?”
Tia pushed the plate towards her, amused. Zeta bit into the burger, smiling around the bun. She continued speaking. “So even though you thought telling me not to wander around the compound was for my benefit, I actually already know my way from the entrance to the canteen via the infirmary.”
Well then. Zeta ate like a grown man. She had two rounds of everything and then almost 2 litres of water in one go. When she was satisfied, they headed back to the infirmary. That was the plan anyway. Halfway there, Zeta lifted her head into the air and sniffed the air like an-honest-to-God dog. The sight was so bizarre that Tia could only stare as she headed in another direction. There was no point trying to stop her; Zeta was as excitable as a child.
It became clear what had attracted her attention as they came to a sparring room. Tia could finally hear what she had heard; grunting, the sound of impact, kick, kick, punch. Zeta was standing in the doorway, watching with fascination as two boys circled each other. With a jolt, Tia realised the one with his back to them was Jay. He was shirtless, the bones shifting as he rolled his shoulders. Sweat slid down his spine, into the waistband of his trousers. Tia was confused. If he’s here, why didn’t he come and find us?
She drew her attention back to Zeta.“You could smell them?”
“Sweat is a very strong scent, and also unique. I recognised his.”
That information was interesting. Tia simply nodded and continued to watch the fight. The other boy was not too great - he was slow, favoured his left, shaky. But Jay, he was magnificent as always. She wasn’t sure how she knew but he was angry. His movements were fast, sharp, blunt. His punches were landing with more force than she was used to seeing from him. He grunted as he blocked lunges, threw kicks, cut the boy’s legs out from underneath him. There were no weapons, this was purely hand-to-hand combat. They watched as Jay caught his opponent in an armlock which threatened to break his bone with a simple pressure. It forced him down to his knees, and the muscles in Jay’s arms rippled as he sidestepped to maintain his leverage.
“Yield,” the boy gasped around the pain. Jay immediately let go. Tia found that she had been holding her breath, waiting to see what he did. He was angry but he wasn’t out of control.
Zeta exploded into applause. The boys jumped, they hadn’t realised they had an audience. They turned to see Zeta bouncing on the heels of her feet with excitement. “That was exhilarating.”
Jay’s opponent appeared to be mesmerised by her. He rose to his feet, a thin boy with a head full of hair and a hooked nose. He stared, rubbing the spot where Jay could have snapped his elbow.
“You can go now,” Jay said to him.
The boy hesitated before nodding. He obviously wanted to spend more time admiring Zeta. He couldn't have been older than 16 - Tia wondered, briefly, what his story was. As he left, Jay blocked his way with an arm. “And remember what I said about all that hair; it’s a weapon in your enemy’s hands. Get rid of it.”
The boy scurried off and Jay finally turned to the girls. His face was blank when he looked at Tia, in a way that chilled her bones. He had only ever looked at her with warmth and affection but now there was none of that in his eyes.
“Where have you been? You missed a lot.”
He rolled his shoulders. “Well, now you can just tell me.”
She frowned, “Jay-”
“Should she be walking around, after what happened to her feet out there?” he jerked his head to Zeta.
She was coasting the sparring room, fluttering her fingers over the plethora of weapons. It was like watching a kid on christmas day. She made appreciative noises as she surveyed stiletto daggers, short swords, boot knives, katanas, and nunchucks. She hesitated over a beautiful white katana with a wooden scabbard.
“Yeah, about that…” Tia began.
“Can I have a go?
They turned to see the girl standing in the centre of the room. She had taken off her hoodie and was twirling a throwing knife in her hand. The knife slipped out of one hand and slid seamlessly into the palm of the other. Jay made an indescribable noise in the back of his throat. “What the-”
“About that-”
The knife somersaulted through the air, hilt over blade, and embedded itself into the wall beside Jay. He flinched, eyes wide at the close proximity of the blade to his head. Tia jumped. Zeta clapped, obviously delighted with herself. He, however, was not amused. He approached her before Tia could begin to explain Zeta’s eccentric personality. He stopped so close that they were almost nose to nose. Zeta was looking right into his chilled gaze.
