Wilde Card, page 32
Tia stepped into her arms, burying her face into her chest. She smelled like smoke now - smoke and the deepest scent of cinnamon.
◆◆◆
When Tia woke up, it was with a migraine to rival all migraines. Nausea rippled through her and she barely managed to keep hold of her stomach contents. She was lying across a mat and Raghida was lying across her. She groaned and pushed her off ungracefully.
“Ow,” Raghida mumbled but she didn’t move from where she had re-settled, face down.
They were in their favourite sparring room, crashed out on the floor. Tia’s mouth tasted like dust and acid. Her nose was clogged with smoke and alcohol. She tried to stand up and gagged, stumbling back to her knees. “Oh my God, what fresh hell is this?”
Her whole body ached, and not in a good I-just-worked-out way. She was barefoot too. She froze. Suddenly, she had tunnel vision. “RAGHIDA!” she yelled, shaking the girl violently.
“No,” Raghida moaned, trying to fend off the attack but Tia was seized by panic and she wasn’t going to give up. She continued to shake her.
“Raghida!”
Finally, she sat up, rubbing her eyes. “What?”
Tia pointed to her right foot. “What the hell is that? Am I still drunk?”
Raghida giggled. “Oh, you forgot. How cute.” She shook her head. “No, Tia. You’re not still drunk. That is, indeed, a tattoo on your foot.”
Tia groaned. “Oh, God.”
The tattoo was only small, about two inches high, on the top of her foot. The lines were thick, dark, almost artistic. It was a black flame. And it was itchy as hell. She glared at Raghida suddenly. “You let me get a damn tattoo last night?”
Raghida lifted up her arm to show Tia the inside. The same thick lines were gracing her reddened skin. “We all got them,” she laughed.
“How are you okay with this?!” Tia demanded. “These will definitely get infected. We got them in a dirty warehouse. Oh, God.”
“They were your idea.”
Tia refused to believe that. She finally got to her feet, pausing to crack several bones in her back. “You are a terrible friend. And a drinker?” Tia shook her head. “Who knew?”
Raghida giggled again and collapsed onto her back. “At least I didn’t take drugs. Talia kept telling everyone not to let you drink anymore.”
And then the night’s events came back to Tia all at once. She remembered kissing Jay. And then snuggling up to Talia. Again! She groaned, holding her stomach. “I was spiked! And, urm, Raghida...was Jay with us for the rest of the night?”
“He disappeared at some point but came back covered in glitter so I don’t really know what happened. He was so drunk that it was hard to make sense of him at that point.”
Tia couldn’t let herself feel relief, not yet. She was disorientated, in pain and tired. But she wanted to see Talia and make sure that she hadn’t made a complete mess of everything. She had never experienced anything like that party. She was glad she had, but she was also worried. She was worried because she was still drawn to Jay. But it was Talia she wanted...right?
She reached down and pulled Raghida up. “Come on. I’m not walking to the canteen like this by myself.”
“Charming,” Raghida scoffed. Her curls were a ball of fuzz around her head, her makeup smeared under her eyes. She looked as bad as Tia felt. Together, they stumbled towards hot food and coffee. Every sound was amplified, coming back in surround sound - louder, with more bass. Every step was a knife in her brain and even tiptoeing didn’t help. Eventually she gave up trying to be delicate and just barrelled into the canteen. And was met by the sight of Talia and Jay sitting side by side, laughing over their plates.
She skidded to a stop. Oh, God. She felt she was being punished. She hadn’t done anything but she was being punished anyway. They hadn’t seen her yet, so she attempted to back up quietly. She would run away and she would be happy with her migraine and her hunger. It was simply the only thing left to do. She tried. She forgot that someone was behind her and tripped over Raghida’s foot. They went down in a tangle of legs and arms and hair.
Then, of course, the whole canteen was paying attention.
“Hey! There you are!“ Jay called.
They hobbled over, ignoring the laughter around them. Raghida was so blinded by hunger that she didn’t even seem to feel the pain. She reached for toast and scoffed it down. Tia sat and Talia immediately pushed her mug over to her. She felt a burst of guilt as she gulped it down. “Thank you,” she murmured.
“Hangover?” Talia smiled back.
She remembered burning things. She remembered being in his arms beneath the fingers of vicious flames. She remembered touching Jay. The memories were superimposed over the current image of the two enemies sitting together. “You hate each other,” she blurted out.
Jay blinked. “No we don’t.”
“You do.”
Talia and Jay exchanged glances. “He’s easily the most annoying person I know, but I don’t hate him,” Talia clarified.
“But you’re always arguing.”
They both shrugged with a similarity that was alarming. How had she never noticed that they were so similar before? She drank deeply, hoping the mug would hide her guilt. She really didn't mean to be caught in any kind of triangle. She wasn’t that kind of girl. Then again, what kind of girl was she now? The kind who went out partying, got high, got a tattoo in a dingy warehouse? She groaned and sank into her arms. Everything was a mess.
“You’re hungover,” Jay explained. “Except like times 10 because you’re also coming down.”
“I heard what you did to that bartender,” Raghida suddenly piped up. “You’re honestly my best friend.”
Jay pouted. “I’m your best friend.”
“Tia headbutted a bitch. She’s my new best friend.”
Talia laughed, low and rich. The sound was music to Tia’s ears. She cleared her throat, raising her head tentatively. “So did you two end up getting stupid tattoos as well?”
They raised their right arms simultaneously to reveal the flame inked into their skin. The identical lines were on their forearms, red against Talia’s skin and appearing less raw on Jay’s.
“Wow, matching tats.” Tia raised her eyebrows. She tried to steady her voice. “When’s the wedding?”
Jay smirked. “You’re only invited if you promise to get that drunk again.”
She scowled and flipped him a rude gesture. “Where’s Eliza?”
“She has training with her mum. She didn’t really drink last night,” Raghida answered.
Tia wasn’t surprised by that. In fact, she imagined that without a sober Eliza none of them would have made it back to the Tunnels safely. She also knew, though she couldn’t share it, that Eliza had pulled her away from Jay just in time. Somehow the girl knew about Tia and Talia, though they hadn’t told anyone. Tia had never been so glad to know that someone could read her easily. The last thing she wanted to do was alienate Talia by being caught doing something stupid with Jay. Although it had definitely been the drugs.
Not that she hadn’t had the most fun she’d had in years. In fact, she doubted that she would ever feel that free again. A night to let go, to let herself be young, to let herself just enjoy life. It was a feeling she would cherish because who knew how long it would be before that ever came along again. She was playing a dangerous game here and she could go the way of her father at any moment. Which is why she was glad Jay had convinced her to go. Now, at least, she could say that she had danced until she was amongst the stars, that she had watched the sky burn whilst pressed against Talia’s chest, that she had made fires and ran through the night with her friends. For one night, she had been a teenager.
And alongside her, also allowing herself the freedom, had been Talia. If there was one person who deserved fun more than Tia, it was her. Sometimes she looked at her and saw a woman much older than herself, with more stress on her shoulders than anyone had the right to bear. Talia would work herself into the ground if it meant doing the right thing - but she never factored in her own happiness. Tia was more than content to do it, if she wouldn’t, because Talia’s happiness meant a lot to her. It always had done.
Tia looked at her now, at her bloodshot eyes and crazy hair. She was a sight for sore eyes but she could be Tia’s sight for sore eyes. She stifled a smile, not wanting to give away her thoughts. Talia seemed to guess anyway or maybe she was just better at reading her than Tia knew. Raghida and Jay were busy arguing with each other about beans and Talia took the opportunity to lean over the table, just inches from Tia. “You looked very beautiful yesterday. I wanted to tell you but you were a bit out of it.”
Tia controlled her grin. “Thank you. I was a bit more than a bit out of it.”
“I wanted to kiss you,” Talia tilted her head. “But I couldn’t, not when you were like that.”
Tia was very aware of her messy hair and the bags under her eyes. She felt sticky too, as if she had spilled a lot of liquid over herself. And yet, somehow, Talia still managed to make her feel good about herself. Her stomach was a pool of heat, and it wasn’t the alcohol. She dipped her eyes, playing with the mug on the table. She wasn’t used to this version of her: the charmer, the friend. After a few moments, she found her voice again.
“You came just for me.”
“I had to. Jax Diaz is a bad person, involved with some shady people. His parties are not safe.”
She sucked her teeth. “You know, I don’t need a guardian.”
Talia looked sheepish. “I know that.”
“Then why must you insist?”
She raised one shoulder, lowered it again. Her shirt was unbuttoned enough to show a smooth expanse of skin. Tia tried not to stare at the marks on her chest, what appeared to be UV paint - the same ink that stained Jay’s face and Tia’s too. “I just wanted to be there.”
Jay turned and clapped a hand over Talia’s shoulder. It was instantly removed. He grinned anyway, never one to acknowledge a brush off. “This girl!” he laughed. “She dances like a God! Put us all to shame.”
Tia smirked into her coffee. Yeah, she remembered that. She also remembered the sensation of falling into her, a star into the depths of her glittering eyes. The tattoo on Tia’s foot throbbed and she tried not to laugh. She could never forget the best night of her life now, not even if she tried.
21 - Human Cargo
Jessie wasn’t speaking to Tia. She chopped and peeled and fried and not once did she turn to her daughter, - who sat on the counter - not even to scold her for sitting on the counter. She had been maintaining this for a near whole 24 hours. Tia, unsure how to deal with this behaviour, was doing the one thing her mother had wanted in the first place: she was staying by her side. She hadn't gone shooting off to the Tunnels after her long nap, as much as she had wanted to. She stayed home and watched mindless TV, eating toast and trying not to go stir crazy.
“Mum, come on,” Tia said for the fiftieth time of the day. Jessie wouldn't even blink at the sound of her voice. She continued cooking. From what Tia could see on the counter, Jessie was going to feed her, she just wasn't going to talk to her. She was taking an effective stand against her daughter’s disobedience - Tia was more than ready to just start screaming. She hated to be on bad terms with Jessie. “I get it, you're doing what I did, you're giving me silence. But you got your point across, you can stop now.”
Jessie shifted, dropping ingredients into a sizzling pan. The small bones of her shoulders shifted in her long, flowing vest. She began to hum, light, under her breath - it was obviously her not-so-subtle way of denying Tia. She would probably refrigerate the meal for Tia to eat later whilst she was at work during her night shift. Despite the half-hearted affection shown in the preparation of dinner, Tia was still highly irritated. She tried one more time to reason with her mother and received only stony silence.
Frustrated, she stomped down onto the ground, the thick soles of her boots making a loud noise against the lino. The sound of it caused Jessie to flinch. Unapologetic, Tia headed for the door. Her mother's voice stopped her.
“I don't ever want to see that gear in my house again.”
The words were short, clipped, harsh. Tia left.
◆◆◆
“Tia!”
Jay called her name as she approached the table. She was glad to see that both Jay and Raghida were in the canteen because she needed their help and she didn’t want to have to repeat herself.
Jay smiled up at her. “Where you been?”
“Around.” She didn't mean it to sound mysterious but she realised from the look on their faces that it had sounded exactly that. She elaborated. “Spending time with my mum.”
“You haven't missed much anyway,” Raghida said. Her hair was spilling over her shoulders in a curly ponytail and her eyes were outlined. Tia paused, momentarily surprised. Raghida didn't usually wear makeup or bother with her appearance; she didn’t need to, she was naturally stunning.
“Are you sure about that?” Tia replied, meaning her new smoky, vixen-like appearance. She had obviously missed something.
The comment made Raghida uncomfortable and she shifted in her seat, dipping her head momentarily before she met Tia’s gaze head on. “I just fancied a change.”
“Or someone,” Jay snorted, taking a bite out of a carrot. Before anyone could comment, he held it out so they could all see and said: “You know, my mum says these lab-created vegetables don't taste right but I think they're fantastic.”
There was silence before Tia had to give in to the laughter. Raghida was chuckling along too but Tia saw the brief flash of relief in her eyes. Curious. She would have to get Raghida alone at some point and find out what was going on. As it was, she was too excited to hold back her news. She folded her long legs up under the bench beside Jay, choosing to ignore the way being so close to him made her stomach flutter. He was wearing a charcoal shirt, open at the neck, very 90s - he looked very good in it.
“You have news?” he asked.
“I have results.”
Tia slid something across the table so it rested in the centre where they could both see it. Under the canteen lighting, the damages to the card were very prominent; curling edges, a yellowing sheen, a few scratches here and there. The picture had blurred out almost completely and only the words beneath it provided any clarification. Raghida craned her neck to read it.
“Quentin Ashbeck, Biotechnology department…” she trailed off. She shifted her dark eyes to Tia. “Tia...you didn't.”
Jay caught on and snatched up the ID. “Holy shit, Tee. You can't just fling that around!”
He slid the card back to her where she palmed it and tucked it away inside her pocket. She was amused to see that he could, in fact, be serious about something. His brow was furrowed lightly, the closest she’d ever seen him get to disconcertion. He was often too preoccupied with how he looked to crease his skin by worrying.
She smiled, a crooked pull to her lips. “It’s on.”
There was a silence as they all registered what was about to happen. It was one thing to plan, it was another to actually put that plan into action. Tia had convinced Quentin to give her another few moments in Andy’s office by claiming that she missed her father. Though it wasn't necessarily a lie, it certainly wasn't the truth. Under the pretence of needing comfort from her father’s oldest friend, Tia sat with Quentin for over an hour afterwards, drinking watery tea and sharing memories. His office was homely, making it startlingly clear that he was much older than her parents. His gingham chair back and worn rug gave the room a certain musk; a scent she had grown up with, had grown to trust. So she felt extremely guilty when Quentin went for refills, left his ID card hanging out of the pocket of his jacket and came back without realising that it was gone.
Tia had listened to her father’s stories over the years just enough that she knew Quentin had a higher security clearance. He was also always losing his ID card. She patted the card in her pocket as - mentally - she apologised again.
“So, how is this going to work?” Jay asked. “I mean, neither of us is a white man named Quentin.”
Raghida snorted but Tia agreed, though she had thought about that already. Something like excitement was lighting up her eyes, outlining the gold around her iris. She upended a bag onto the table and three white coats rolled out. She gestured. “Any more questions?”
Tia had initially considered taking the bus to Bloc 3, but the idea of sitting beside Jay for so long with nothing else to do but make conversation hadn't pleased her. They still hadn't spoken about what had transpired between them in the sparring room, or what had happened at the party. As far as she was concerned, there was nothing to talk about. He evidently didn't agree; if the sideways glances he kept throwing towards her were anything to go by. He was a sensitive kind of boy, she had figured, the kind who wanted to talk about things, who wanted to smooth his feelings out. She didn't see the necessity. She had embarrassed herself and she was constantly reminded of the humiliation, especially when she found herself looking at the shape of his mouth. They should never have been alone at the party after the way she had behaved in the Tunnels. So the bus was off limits. Which meant that Bolt’s truck was required.
They began walking just after midday and arrived at the hidden location over two hours later. They were slowed down by their clothes - the gear would have allowed them faster movement with no friction. However, the scientists who worked in the bloc wore normal outfits beneath their lab coats and the idea was not to draw attention to themselves. Also, Natalia didn't know about this mission, hadn't approved this mission, and therefore they were not allowed to take gear on this mission. They walked past abandoned buildings she had been too tired to notice before, chewed at by rot, greying from age, mouldy from the rain. She made sure to keep her gaze on these, instead of appearing open for conversation.
The benefit of walking to the truck was that whenever Jay dropped back, Tia simply sped up to avoid his questions. Their back and forth game went unnoticed by Raghida who was unusually quiet. She walked ahead of them both, her hands tucked into her jean skirt - Tia had never seen her in a skirt before. She wore thick, shimmery gold tights that sparkled every time she took a step. It was startling, to say the least, to see her so dressed up. Sensing that Jay was dropping back again, she decided that it was the perfect time to approach Raghida.
