Wilde Card, page 10
“He must have made it himself,” she said, referring to its uneven sides.
“Holy shit,” Kal breathed. “How did you do that?”
“He was left handed but the computer was on the right. It’s just the kind of thing I expect…expected…from him. We used to watch spy films together,” she murmured, joy coursing through her veins. If he’d gone to the effort of hiding something, it had to be important. A small notebook lay in the wooden box, a light cover of dust across the cover. She flipped it open to see that the pages were filled with nonsensical symbols.
Kal came to look over her shoulder and touched one of the symbols with his finger. “What the hell…”
Tia gulped down a sudden torrent of weariness. It was just one thing after another. She tucked the notebook into her back pocket and without saying anything, left the office. Quentin met them by the lift and looked dubiously at the satchel. “Is that all you're going to take? You don't want his books?”
Tia shook her head.
“Did you get what you needed?” He asked gently. “Did it help?”
“Not at all.”
◆◆◆
Tia decided it was time to sort through her things. A few weeks had passed since the funeral, and she could barely walk from one side of her room to the other without stumbling on a shoe, a book,a bra. So she rolled up her sleeves and got to cleaning. She found that it was somewhat therapeutic, the routine of tidying. Jessie poked her head in and saw that Tia was finally doing something productive, so she left her to it. They hadn’t had a conversation about letting everything slowly get back to normal, but it had begun to happen anyway. It seemed to be the natural order of life; death, life, death and life. Andy was gone but they had to live on. Tia hadn’t felt the need to move or do anything in so long that she had been surprised to wake up and experience a need to be productive.
She found a box in the back of her wardrobe whilst she was folding away clothes. Smiling, she sifted through her childhood toys, diaries, school reports. She sat cross-legged on the floor and lost herself in her past. A bundle of paper fell out of the box and scattered around her. She went to pick them up and was confronted with small, odd images in a childish scrawl.
“Holy shit.” she whispered.
She snatched the sheets up and lay them down next to Andy’s journal. The symbols she’d drawn were messy and the lines were not as defined as Andy’s but there was no denying it; it was the same cipher. That crafty old bastard, she suddenly laughed, relief loosening the knots in her back. The sheets were years old. When she was younger, Grandpa Adrian would sometimes babysit her whilst her parents were at work. He was constantly trying to teach her how to be an adult. Or well, his version of an adult. In one month he taught her how to play poker, how to spit from a great distance, and how to write one of his favourite ciphers. Jessie didn’t really approve but it kept Tia busy when she came home from her night shifts, and that was a luxury for her. Looking at the similarities between the two, Tia realised that Adrian must have taught Andy the same cipher. Except, unlike his daughter, her father had remembered it and put it to good use.
God, it’s been years, she thought as she looked over the pages. She’d had the common sense to include a key, so within a couple of hours she could have at least some of Andy’s journal deciphered. She flipped to the back - to the last entry - and got to work. It took her around 5 hours, 3 missed calls and a grumbling stomach to get just the last three entries finished. When it was done, she took deep breaths and began to read.
Going again today. Using the excuse of needing to check some old formulas in their archives. They think we don’t care; we just do what we’re paid to do and go home and forget. Of course we don’t. I have my suspicions. Asked Q to come with me, he’s better with the layout of the blocs but he said he can’t get involved. I can’t give up. Maybe it’s the old rebel in me, maybe it’s the recognition that my family could be at risk here. I need to know what’s going on. The last trip I made was short, I didn’t have enough time to look around properly. I need more time.
Q? Was that Quentin?
I wish what I saw hadn’t confirmed my fears. They know that I'm snooping around. The director came to the labs today for a ‘visit’. A director hasn’t visited the labs since they first opened. Something’s up. I think they know, and if they do, I won’t live for long. I wish I could tell Jess. All she knows is that I’ve had to spend more nights at the lab and get more work done. If she knew the truth, she would be sad.
It is as I thought. On my way to my office today, I could feel eyes on me. They’re closing in. I dare not go home in case they remember I have a family to protect. I cannot lead them down that road. I wish I could have one last day with Tia and Jess, without the fear of being hunted, just one last day. I don’t think I will ever get that again. Go-The alarms in the building have just gone off. I think this is the end. Everyone will be evacuated, except me.
Tia found herself gasping through her father’s last words. Tears were splashing onto the pages, causing the ink to run and the pages to darken. His words were as clear as day. They’d killed him. He’d found out something he wasn't supposed to know and they killed him.
“The cowards,” she screamed, rising up in anger and throwing the journal away from her. Her whole body was shaking. All she knew for certain was that he hadn’t died in a tragic accident, he hadn't been careless. But she had known it already, down to her bones. She wondered who had done it; who’d ended her father’s life. Was it Cauley with his impossibly calm exterior? Or the indifferent Hills? Quentin, who was obviously ‘Q’ and who hadn’t wanted anything to do with the whole investigation? A stranger? Somehow that seemed more barbaric than any of the rest. She bit back a sob and crawled towards the journal. These words were all she had left of Andy and she’d smudged half of them. There was a small tear in the last page and she’d bent it slightly, but it was still in one piece. She hugged it to her chest and embraced her rage. It lapped at her rib cage like a fire stoked with gas, choked her with ashy fingers. Gritting her teeth, she felt her shaking hands curl into fists, her eyes burning through her tears. She wasn’t going to let it end like this. She was going to find out who’d killed Andy and she wasn’t going to let them get away with it. She had no doubt that ‘they’ in the journal was the government. She just had to find out who and why, that was all she needed. And she knew the perfect place to start.
◆◆◆
Tia could feel the stares fluttering against her skin like the wings of a thousand butterflies. It made her skin crawl but she brushed off the feeling and kept her stride constant. She hadn’t been to the university in weeks, she had missed some of her exams and was utterly behind. She hadn't worried about it - education was the last thing on her mind now. Besides, she knew that if she ever did want to go back, she could apply for mitigating circumstances. Summer knew everything...and she owed Tia.
By now everyone had heard about Andy. Some of the people she passed in the corridor smiled at her reassuringly but she ignored them. She didn’t want anyone’s sympathy. There was only one thing she wanted right now. She stalked right past her lecture and headed towards reception. Lydia looked up from her magazine and froze mid-chew. Before she could speak, Tia placed a sheet of paper down on the desk.
“I need her schedule,” she pointed at it, adding, as an afterthought: “Please.”
Lydia peered at the name on the sheet. “Chloe Peters?”
At Tia’s nod, she bit her lip and looked genuinely torn. Tia knew her dilemma; as a receptionist she was not allowed to give out a student’s information...but Tia’s father was dead. It sounded crude but it was the truth. Tia knew Lydia would be won over by her plight because she was soft and had a maternal instinct. True to nature, she began clicking around on her computer. A second later, Chloe’s personnel record came through the printer. Without saying anything, Lydia handed it over.
“This never happened.” TIa said.
She caught Chloe as she was leaving a seminar. The girl slung her bag over her shoulder and began to walk down the hallway. Her legs were short but she moved fast. Quickly, Tia snagged her elbow and pulled her into another corridor. Being further away from the canteen and very close to the staff room, it was fairly empty. Chloe glared down at her grip.
“What the-“
“I know who you are, and I want in,” Tia interrupted.
Chloe snorted, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
She had started to walk away when Tia felt her restraint snap like the tightly wound band it was. She didn’t have much control these days. She slammed her hand into the wall in front of the girl, blocking her through way. Chloe did a good job of not flinching but it did get her attention. She stopped. She had a pudgy face, but Tia could tell that she'd be attractive when she was older and she lost the baby fat. Maybe then she wouldn’t be such a bitch.
There was silence as she looked Tia up and down before she stepped back and folded her arms. “Why would you want to join us? You’re one of them.”
Tia clenched her teeth and said the one thing she knew would sever her connections with her old life. “Not anymore.”
◆◆◆
“'Tia!”
She heard her name being called but she kept on walking. She hadn’t planned on stopping once she found Chloe. She didn't want to have to talk to anyone and endure the sympathy, the hesitation, the questions. She didn't even want to bump into Kal, because he didn't know why she wanted to talk to Chloe, and she didn't think he would understand. Kal was pure at heart, and she didn't want to drag him into her downward spiral. She felt like the only way for her was down, and so he was officially being kept in the dark.
“Tia, I know you can hear me,” Summer called. Her wheedling voice didn't make Tia want to stop any more than her hurried footsteps did. But, sighing, Tia did. Summer almost ran into her, she had been moving so fast. She was out of breath and, briefly, Tia wondered how this woman managed to keep up with Natalia, who never stopped moving. She wasn't a big woman; more curvy than chubby, but it was obvious that she held an office job. Her face was red and a strand of her hair was stuck to her mouth.
She smiled, revealing a smudge of lipstick on her teeth. It annoyed her that Summer could afford to waste money on lipstick just for the sake of pleasing a student. Makeup was expensive, you only wore it if you really wanted to sacrifice for it. And it was definitely a waste of Summer's money; Natalia would never notice insignificant things like the colour of someone’s mouth. But then again maybe she would; Tia didn't know who she was anymore.
“Tia,” she huffed. “How are you holding up?”
“Like a wet towel.” The sarcastic reply came fast.
“That was uncalled for,” Summer’s big bug eyes bulged.
“That was a stupid question.”
Tia was trying to be nice but just looking into Summer’s face was annoying her. She remembered all the times when she'd needed Summer to just cut her a little slack on her work, and she hadn’t. Summer had never given her any reason to be nice.
“I just want to know how you're doing.” Summer reached out for her, but Tia stepped away from her hand. “I know you're hurting-”
“What do you want, Summer?” Tia interrupted her. She didn't have time for this.
Summer sighed and dropped her hand. “My supervisors want to know what's happening. They want me to make a decision; enrol you for re-sits or drop you from your scholarship.”
Tia smiled sardonically. “And what do you want to decide?”
“I want you to sit your exams, obviously, but I need you to be serious about it this time around.”
“This time around? As if one day I just woke up and decided not to finish my course. As if this was my choice.” People around them were beginning to stare as she raised her voice. She didn't care, let them. She stepped towards Summer until they were practically breathing each other's air. “Consider this my withdrawal.”
Summer gasped a little, like it was the most shocking thing she had ever heard. And Tia imagined that it probably was; if you didn't have a degree in this society, what use would the government have for you? How would you fund your living costs? How could you have a family? Someone as straight-laced as Summer Davidson would never be able to understand that some things were more important than money.
“Don't be rash-”
“Consider. This. My. Withdrawal.” Tia repeated, carefully enunciating each word. Then she turned on her heel and started to walk away, pushing through the crowd that had gathered around them. A minute later she heard the same footsteps hurrying after her.
“Tia, wait.” Summer wrapped a damp hand around her arm. She looked anxious, shifty. She looked around before she pulled Tia in closer. “Did...did you tell Talia about our conversation?”
Tia was incredulous. “What?”
“Our conversation.” Summer moved in. “You know, when I told you I loved her.”
“Summer, you need to get a grip.”
She frowned, “She's been acting odd lately. Did you tell her? I need to know.”
“Summer,” Tia removed her hand. “Natalia and I are not friends. You have to ask her - I can't help you.”
“Look, I know you think I'm ridiculous, I'm fine with that. I just need you to tell me; did you say anything to her?” She pleaded, her eyes wide, mouth parted in anticipation. Tia noticed others noticing them. She'd been on the campus way longer than she'd originally planned.
“I did,” she answered.
Summers cheeks flushed red, bright and telling. “What did she say?”
“Okay, no. I'm not doing this.” Tia snapped. She wasn't about to stand there and get sucked into gossip when she had preparations to make.
She realised, as she left, that she had just given up her career. Once she found out the truth about Andy’s death, she would have her work cut out for her. Then again, if the government was responsible for his death like she thought they were...she probably wouldn't live long enough to worry about her future anyway. Tia wouldn’t stop looking until she found her answers.
She grimaced. Jessie was going to lose her mind when she found out that she had withdrawn from the university. Tia was shocked herself; she hadn't planned to leave, the words had just slipped out. It was the right decision, she knew. She couldn't concentrate on exams when her father was rotting in the ground.
11 - Take Me To Your Leader
Tia was given explicit instructions by Chloe and she was ‘not to get it wrong’. It was becoming very clear that Chloe seemed to think she was an idiot. It was either that, or the girl just really disliked her.
They met at the stairs outside the library on a rainy Saturday afternoon. Not many people bothered to study on the weekends except, of course, people like Kal, who was always frantic about his grades. She felt a pang for the simplicity of going to class with him, revising into the evening, their late phone calls. She had neglected him for fear of dragging him into her problems, and she didn't know how to repair the rift she had caused between them. He had always been there for her and she was trying to repay the favour by not distracting him; he could not lose his scholarship, no matter what. Kal’s mother was the sole provider for their family; his father had died when he was just a boy. His dying wish was that Kal make him proud, get an education and try to make the world a better place. Tia knew that if she told Kal more than he needed to know about Andy and the rebellion, he would want to help her...and she would ruin him.
She sighed and shoved her hands into the pockets of her jeans. It wouldn't do well to think about it now - it was done. The sun hadn't bothered to make an appearance today. She was early, as per instructions, and waited for half an hour until Chloe decided to show up, hair pulled back into a sticky ponytail, jeans covered with mud.
“Don't ask,” was all she muttered before gesturing for Tia to follow her.
Chloe Peters was a very brusque girl. She only seemed to open her mouth if she had something important to say and even then she didn't drag her thoughts out. Tia could respect her efficiency, if nothing else. They walked in silence. When they reached the edge of Hyde Park, or what remained of Hyde Park, Chloe pulled out an old bandana. She held it out.
“Sorry kid, gotta put it on.”
Tia bristled at the term ‘kid’ - they were the same age and the expression on Chloe’s face didn't exactly make her eager to bind her own eyes. Around them, the silence was startling. The benches were back-to-back beds for the homeless, rags hanging off their bones. Rust had tarnished the gates and mud squelched underfoot. A deep, waterless ditch was the central attraction, bordered by small, windowless and heavily graffitied storefronts. It was easy to see how beautiful the park would have been before the Grey War destroyed it. Tia sighed and wrapped the bandana around the top half of her face. “Take me to your leader.”
“What?” Chloe replied. The joke flew over her head completely. Tia decided to leave it. The only one who had ever understood her movie references was Andy - she didn't know why she had expected dour faced Chloe to be cultured enough. And she had the audacity to call me kid.
She was not guided so much as allowed to follow, one hand draped casually over Chloe’s right shoulder. The pace was slow going; it was hard to walk blindfolded and even harder to put her trust in a girl she didn't know. Chloe was a heavy breather and it sounded like Tia was walking behind a rhino (Jessie had always loved animal documentaries), though the girl was barely bigger than her. She paid attention to the terrain under her feet, trying to guess in which direction they were going. Her footing became very uncertain and then she was walking down a sloping path, trying not to slip as her grip on the mud disappeared almost completely. She tightened her hand on Chloe’s shoulder and the girl snapped at her, “Not so tight.”
