Wilde Card, page 19
Raghida was stunned. Tia was struck by the fact that she was beautiful with her thick hair swept back like that, her mouth parted like a doll’s. She made surprise look like a photoshoot. “Count me in,” Raghida grinned, an exotic inflection ringing at the end of her words.
“What are we counting?”Jay’s arm slid down across Tia’s shoulders.
She turned to reply “Nothing,” when Raghida jumped in. “What we’ve all been waiting for!”
Jay’s eyebrows rose into his hairline. He was quick to humour, always ready with the wit, or sarcasm. But when Raghida summarised the story - Tia sitting uneasily between them - he himself was shocked. He looked at Tia and there was nothing to suggest he was annoyed about earlier. Then he beamed, like Christmas had come early, and folded his hands carefully in front of him. “I know just where we should start.”
“Wait, I did tell Raghida that I want to do this on my own,” Tia finally interrupted, her nerves frayed. It was one thing asking for resources to help her decipher clues, it was another to ask anyone to actively help her. She knew this was the kind of thing that they trained for but it wasn’t a game. She was willing to do whatever it took but she couldn’t ask that of them - of her friends. And they were her friends now, even in such a short space of time, they had formed a bond that she had never known she needed. “My father died trying to get to the bottom of this. I don’t want to put anyone in danger.”
Jay and Raghida became almost the same person as they leaned forward and grinned wildly at her outburst. It was obvious that they weren’t listening to a single word of her warning. They were ready for some real action and were not scared of doing what it took to help. They were both warriors, honed by the Rebellion in a way that most people would never understand, excited by the idea of a fight.
Deep down - guiltily - Tia felt relief.
15 - A Friendly Call
Tia couldn’t bear to part with Andy’s journal. She had Jay sneak into the reception of the university, distract Lydia with contraband bubblegum and photocopy every page. Then he broke it, for safety measures, just so no one could view any of its last jobs. They felt the secrecy was necessary considering the lengths Andy had gone to hide it.
He met her outside the library and they began to walk to the Tunnels together. Raghida - like many - didn’t attend the university; she worked part time instead. They had agreed to meet in the canteen to regroup. Tia wasn’t sure at what point they had become a trio but she was incredibly grateful for their friendship. They had taken her under their wing and were making this journey so much easier for her than she thought it ever could be. She had become used to Jay’s niggling humour and Raghida’s smoky glances, their private jokes had become her private jokes, their knowledge of the Rebellion had become her personal library. She thought that Jessie would adore Jay - something in his manner reminded her of her father - but her mother still didn't know about Tia’s involvement in the Rebellion and she planned to keep it that way. Plus, if Tia spoke to Jay about meeting her mother, she suspected that he would take it the wrong way.
He was a very affectionate person, she had come to learn. Whilst they walked against the snaking breeze, he tucked his hand into hers without asking. She looked down and decided to let him have this one. He was, after all, helping her when he didn’t even have to. He liked to stroke his thumb over her wrist, like she was something soft to comfort. She was amazed by how gentle he was, someone who liked to fight as much as he did. His skin was soft too, though she had seen calluses on Natalia’s hands and attributed them to their line of work. He obviously took care of his body well. She couldn't remember the last time she'd thought about taking care of herself. Most days her hair was tied up on top of her head, she'd chewed her nails down to the quick, and her eating habits had become pitiful, to the point where she had to belt her jeans to keep them around her hips. She was a mess, if there was any point in saying so; she thought it was quite obvious to anyone who cared to look.
“Do you think your parents would approve of me?” Jay suddenly asked her.
Her eyes rounded, not having expected anything like that out of his mouth at all. He gave off an aura of quiet vanity and with people that usually always meant that they cared what other people thought of them...but her parents? “Urm. I don’t know,” she hedged. How funny that she had just been musing on the topic. She wondered if Jay was getting good at reading her or if it had just been so clear to see on her face. “My father would have definitely liked you.” A sharp pain in her chest at the thought of Andy.
“Because I’m black too?” he asked. She choked on her own air and turned to deny his remark. His mouth was wide as he laughed.
She whacked him on the arm, “That’s not funny. Arsehole.” Secretly, she was glad that he had lightened the mood, though she would never tell him that. She got the impression that Jay was used to attention from everyone around him; it would explain why he always acted up, like a circus monkey. His sense of humour was new to her but she liked it most of the time.
“I’m sorry. I make bad jokes when I’m nervous.” He shrugged his broad shoulders until they formed a straight line in his thick coat.
She had an odd feeling about the direction of this conversation. “Why...would you be nervous?”
“Because. You’re my first girlfriend,” he smiled shyly, the first bit of vulnerability she'd ever seen from him. “I don’t know how to speak to your mother, she’s like - a legend.”
Tia stopped in her tracks. They were at the corner of an abandoned residential street where the paving stones were all smashed. Tia and Kal called it ‘the river’ because walking along it was like the way boats used to bob on the surface of a lake. The houses here were in pieces, like a puzzle, just waiting to be put back together.
“Girlfriend?” she echoed.
Jay was wearing the collar of his coat pulled up to his mouth, and all she could see of his head was his nose and his very expressive eyes. She was getting used to reading him just by watching the slight changes in the shape of his eyes, or the angle of his brow. Unlike Natalia, for example, who could feel a thousand things and hide every single one behind a blank stare. She thought that even if she knew Natalia for fifty more years, Tia would never completely know what she was thinking. She often wondered if that was Matthew’s fault? Had he beaten all the emotions out of his niece? But then she remembered Natalia telling her that Tia was one of the only people she had ever loved...and Tia knew that Natalia wasn't a complete void...not yet anyway.
Jay brought her back to attention, “Is that not the right word?” He was smiling conspiratorially, so she relaxed a little. She didn't think someone like him would want to limit his options with someone so demanding as a girlfriend. Like a little boy with too much energy, he would soon discard his attentions when he was finally bored of her. She didn't know much about boys but she knew enough. Nothing good could come of indulging Jay Brooks.
“I think you’re getting ahead of yourself,” she laughed, dragging him behind her. He followed in uncharacteristic silence for a few minutes.
“I’d like to get ahead of you…”
“You stabbed me.”
“Good God, are you ever going to let that go?”
“...Twice.”
He shook his head playfully. The small bruises on her chest had flared up into a lovely shade of purple but they would no doubt be gone by the end of the week. She was glad when they continued to walk but without the chatter. She normally liked their flirtatious banter but she had other things on her mind right now. Jay was nice and she liked him, but she liked the idea of finding her father’s murderer even more. She checked her watch - it was nearly midday, Raghida would have just been getting to the Tunnels from work. They had plans to investigate what had happened to Madeline; the only lead they had to work with. She had dressed warmly in jeans and several layers as they wouldn’t be allowed to take gear with them on this ‘mini-mission’, not that Natalia - or any of the Council - knew about it.
Marcus, true to his word, was waiting for Tia in the library. She’d told Jay to wait with Raghida whilst she delivered the journal entries to him. Jay kissed her quickly before he darted off to the canteen. She tried to control the colour that flared up in her cheeks. Tia wasn’t used to that kind of public display - she often wished her skin was darker so her cheeks didn't colour so easily. Thankfully, Marcus was at the very back of the library so she didn’t have to explain anything to him, not that she thought he would mind; he seemed very liberal. She'd just always been a very private person.
She found him sprawled in an overstuffed, beaten chair with a book in his lap, fast asleep. His glasses had slipped down his nose and were on the verge of ending up on the floor. She reached out and plucked them off his face. He jumped, startled, and lashed out with his fist. She cried out, even as her body instinctively spun out of the way. When she turned back she saw that he was watching her, his gaze sharp like he hadn’t been asleep at all.
“Your reflexes are getting faster,” he said, by way of compliment.
“Yours aren’t getting slower,” she retaliated, her heart still pounding.
He chuckled and accepted his glasses back from her. “Don’t feel bad. I’m old but I could still kick the dust out of you, Wilde-fox.”
Tia smiled, rueful. Sometimes she forgot how old he actually was but then he said things like that and she remembered again.
The library was never silent, there was just too much activity going on around it. He'd told her that in the grand scheme of the Tunnels, the library was built in the centre. If she listened closely, she could hear the chorus of several different conversations, the clash of metal on metal, the grunt and cries of sparring partners floating down the corridors. The walls, though miles underground and thick, seemed to carry sound as if they were designed to do so. Footsteps, whispers, the buzz of the canteen, it was almost crystal clear. She wondered how people had lived down here for so many years. She knew that after the bombing ceased, they had no choice but to stay down here in this massive labyrinth of tunnels. But though there were dormitories, a canteen, a library, classrooms, an infirmary...she still couldn't imagine it. A whole city underground; it was crazy.
She knew that there was a lot more to the network than the Rebellion actually used. Harry had informed her that they’d blocked off any tunnels that led further into uninhabited territory, just in case someone took a wrong turning and never came back. “It’s happened before,” he said grimly. “There were blueprints for every inch of this network when it was built but they were lost after the war. All we know for sure is this compound.” The idea of getting lost down here and wandering around aimlessly, getting further and further away from everything you knew until you finally collapsed from dehydration or hunger...it made her hair stand on end. She ached to explore the tunnels but she didn't want to be the first person to get lost down here in two decades.
She shook the image out of her head and turned her attention back to Marcus. He was stretching, his scratchy jumper rising to reveal a tubby little tummy. She averted her eye and caught a smear of black on his wrist as the sleeve of his jumper fell back. “Is that a tattoo?”
He glanced at his sleeve. “Oh, yes.” He pushed it back so she could see clearly. It covered the underside of his wrist, about an inch long, the lines faded from age: the black outline of a single flame.
“The Rebellion,” she murmured. “Do you all have one?”
“Most of us, yes. It’s not compulsory,” he added quickly. “But we liked to think that it brought us closer.”
“I’ve never seen one on either of my parents.”
It seemed like the kind of thing they would have partaken in, especially Jessie who had a few tattoos already. Marcus shrugged his shoulders apologetically, though he had nothing to be apologetic for. “We’re very good at hiding things, Tia.”
With that, she handed him the photocopy of the journal and decided to leave him to decode the cipher. He’d agreed to do this for her, claiming that he could use the practice. She didn’t care why he was doing it, as long as it got done. She was becoming very impatient now - it felt like she’d been waiting far too long for answers. The only lead she had so far was Madeline...Andy had been dead for three months. Am I doing enough?
Raghida and Jay were engaged in an animated conversation when Tia approached them. The canteen had become a social room of some kind; she was always bound to find one of them here. If she wasn’t looking for them, then they’d find her here. Since the walls were so thick that they disrupted mobile signals, that did happen a lot. Raghida looked quite energetic as she murmured away, her dark eyes sparkling with that natural electricity of hers. Tia felt a small rush of jealousy at the proximity of their faces to each other. Stunned, she pushed the feeling deep into her stomach. Don’t be ridiculous. Though she had heard rumours of Jay and Raghida, whispers, gossip...she knew that it was just talk.
“You ready to go?” Jay called.
Raghida’s face brightened when she saw Tia. “Great timing. We were just talking about-”
“Valentia.”
Raghida’s joy turned to anxiousness and the back of Tia’s neck prickled. She recognised the bland tone, turned her head to see Natalia standing behind her. She was wearing a navy blue shirt that brought out the outline of her iris. Beneath the left sleeve, Tia could see the bulge of her bandaged arm. Natalia didn’t look as tired as she had done the last time Tia had seen her, the dark crescents under her eyes had paled and her skin wasn't so greyscale. She looked rested. Tia was surprised that Natalia was even addressing her, after what happened in the infirmary. Natalia gestured with her head, a slight movement - follow me. Tia held up a finger to her friends and followed Natalia to the edge of the canteen. She strode ahead, powerful strides, her long legs eating up the distance. Tia was used to checking her stride, always conscious of the people around her, watching her, feeling intimidated, mocking her height. She didn’t ever have to do that with Natalia. She'd forgotten what that felt like; to be so sure of herself.
Natalia pulled up short and faced her with an expression Tia could only describe as...chagrined. It took her a moment to identify because Tia hadn't ever seen it on Natalia before. Her cache of expressions usually only varied between wildly smug and intensely angry. Standing before Tia now, Natalia raised her eyebrows into a concerned V shape. “I wanted to apologise for the other day.”
Tia’s jaw sagged. In all the years she had known her, Natalia had never said sorry. Tia glanced around to see if anyone was watching. They all were, actually, but no one was laughing so she could convince herself that it wasn't a prank. “Are you feeling okay? Is your arm infected? You know that fever can drive a woman mad?”
Natalia’s expression morphed into a glare. Tia felt more comfortable with the glare; she knew where she stood with the glare. So Natalia was still in there somewhere. “Must you turn everything into a joke?”
“...Yes.”
“Look,” Natalia rolled her eyes. She was impatient now. “Maybe I just realised that you’re one of the only people I can trust. I know it was terrible between us for years and it sounds paranoid, but - there are certain members of the Rebellion who think we’re not militant enough. I have the same views as Harry, Marcus, Wildehurst...violence as a last resort. But not everyone thinks that way; so I need to keep the people I trust close.”
Tia frowned. Though they weren’t constantly at each other’s throats anymore, she wouldn’t have thought trust was a word that could be applied to their taut friendship. Not yet, anyway. “You said something similar when we were in the infirmary but I thought it was the pain talking. You really think someone wants to get rid of you?”
Natalia lowered her voice, “I don’t think anything. But better safe than sorry.” She glanced at her watch and tittered. “I need to go. I’ll see you around.”
As she strode away, Tia remembered that she could use Natalia’s help now that she wasn’t treating her like a leper anymore. She hadn’t offered an explanation for her behaviour in the infirmary, but Tia was content enough - for now - just to hear an apology. She called after Natalia but she was already somewhere else, mentally. As Tia walked back, she decided that maybe it wasn’t a good idea to tell Natalia after all. What if she just mocked Tia? Natalia was a very practical person - and it was hard to believe even when you weren't as cynical as her. Jay and Raghida certainly looked relieved to see the back of her.
“Why do you two look so shifty? We’re not exactly doing anything wrong,” she asked.
“Well, actually…” Jay trailed off in a way that caught her attention. He brought out a satchel from under the table and slid it across to her. She poked around inside and saw the glint of light on metal.
“You stole from the weaponry?” Great, now Natalia will kill me. Just like members of the Rebellion weren’t allowed to take gear, they certainly weren’t allowed to wander off with the weapons. Everything had to be checked out for missions, authorised by Natalia, or in her absence, Harry - her right hand. She didn’t even want to know how Jay had even managed to get so many weapons in one go. She took the bag, ignoring his protests, and swung it onto her shoulder. At least if they were caught, she could take the blame.
◆◆◆
Just beyond the ruined Eye - the bare spindles having rusted away over the years - there was a building that had fallen to disarray but had not actually fallen. What had previously been known as central London was now a wonderland of scrap. Glass, metals...all buildings were without. Where there had been statues, there was only rust now. Graffiti swamped every available surface, a mosaic of colourful gibberish. In the distance, Tia could see ‘The Shard’; a sore sight, it looked as if hell itself had regurgitated a squat mess of bronze metal and thick cables. Without glass to give the decapitated building charm, it inspired a kind of fear in her.
