A Dance of Mist and Fury, page 29
He led me around the house, far from the sight of the guests, and into his room. I cradled my injured arm, trying to protect it against invisible threats; he closed the doors behind me.
“Let me see,” said Lord Kwan, his voice becoming softer.
I looked at him, for any hint of rage. When I saw only sadness, I held it up to him. One hand took my wrist, the other sliding down my sleeve and brushing over my skin. I winced at the touch, cool as it felt against my hot injury.
“I’m sorry he did this to you,” said Lord Kwan, sounding like a broken man. “It should never have happened.”
I was still in shock, and said nothing. Even as he used his magic to heal me, I just stared. My mind was blank.
After his spell ended, he cast another to banish the stains and smell from me. Then he stumbled, catching himself on the table. With a gasp, went to him.
“I’m alright.” His words were quiet. A part of my gut knew he was lying, though the rest of me wasn’t able to comprehend.
I wanted to say something, to be some kind of useful. But I didn’t have anything intelligent to say. “I’m,” I tried anyway. “I’m glad. That you’re the Juneun who lives on this mountain.”
He shifted his gaze to me, his face puzzled.
“I’m not sure we’d all survive, us villagers, if it was someone else here.” Thoughtless, I hugged him. As I’d hugged my brothers, hugged Fumei—a deep embrace for comfort.
He returned it, lightly.
We stayed like that a moment, taking in each other’s comfort.
“I’m sorry I’m such a troublesome prisoner.”
“You make up for it.”
We let go of each other, leaving me to look up and wonder.
“How?”
That hint of a smile was back. “Being an honest friend.”
I shied. “Even though I keep messing up your fancy party thing?”
“With or without you, mistakes would be made. And Beom has made affronts on several of my house since he arrived. Given that, I can’t even be annoyed at Syaoran’s disappearance.”
There were a hundred things I wanted to ask. I wanted to ask why Beom acted so hostile while Kwang more pleasant, and why the brothers didn’t get along. Why was Eumeh engaged to Urekkato after we’d all thought it was his own engagement we were preparing for? I wanted to know about Gumiho, if she really was gone—she seemed like a force that was always there and always would be. Then there was what Beom said about Kwan’s love for a demon, and what that’d meant. About what was so import with holding court, and why there were so many rules, and so many other things.
It didn’t feel right in the moment to ask any of it, especially not after what just happened.
“You moved yourself back to the kennels,” said Lord Kwan, breaking the quiet that took up the room. “You dislike your room?”
“It’s not that, my lord. I’m just not,” I tried to think of how to explain. “It’s a lot noisier with so many guests. I’m not used to it.”
“Noisier? That’s an understatement.”
I tucked my head into my shoulders, watching that hint of a smile grow. “The feast,” I realized. “I dragged you away from it.”
“I’m sure excuses have been made for me. It will start and end at Urekkato’s discretion at any rate.”
Despite what he’d said, I still felt guilty. There were probably more interesting people to talk to at a banquet than a village girl.
We sat there, side by side, saying nothing at all. And I liked it.
Late into the night, as the guests retired to their rooms and the household cleaned up, I crept back to the kennels for sleep. The note I’d left was gone, but the jacket remained, sitting atop my blanket, both still perfectly folded. Another thing about the strangeness of this summer I didn’t understand.
I was too tired to think much of it. But laying down, my mind wouldn’t let me sleep. A part of me was still too afraid. That somehow another lord or servant of would spring from a shadow to further torment me. Only mild relief came in remembering that court wouldn’t last forever. Just a few days more.
Then came the temptation of taking out that puzzle box. I shut my eyes, counting, and took it from its hiding place once I opened them again. Sliding the tiles back to their cryptic phrase, I carefully opened it beneath my covers. The glow of the bead soothed me.
Picking it up, it felt warm. A comforting kind. The sort when a parent took your hand as a small child, or when a friend embraced you with love. It felt happy at my touch. I wasn’t sure how I knew that, but it seemed that way. Feeling flowed into me, as though the bead of light knew me.
While I basked in the glow and the comfort of it, I closed my eyes to count, frequently. When I did grow tired enough, I put it away.
Chapter 31
What Everyone Else Thinks
In the following morning, word had spread about Beom, with the women in Lin’s room in an upset.
“Someone lying to save their own skin. You and I were together the entire afternoon.”
“It’s no one in this room, that’s for sure.”
“Watch it turn out that it was one of Lord Beom’s own staff, and they had the nerve to blame us for the wine mess at the house. Like we’d do that after having to work so hard to make it in the first place.”
“Damned coward is what they are.”
And while they went back and forth, in my heart I wanted to believe it was all truthful. That none of the women in Lord Kwan’s service would put the blame on me. But if they were faced with an angry lord, maybe they would.
“I noticed Lin was gone for the entire evening,” teased one woman. “Run off with Syaoran?”
“Since it seems like none of us are making any progress with the lords here, I wouldn’t be surprised.”
I saw Lin’s face heat up. And of course, I’d known where she was. But a part of me wanted to prove myself an ally, and the words left me without consideration. “I passed Lin as I was getting the replacement wine, and she wasn’t well. So, I said she could take a rest in my room where it was quieter and that I’d pick up her tasks for her.”
A couple of the girls sported stunned expressions, looking to Lin as they asked for confirmation. She nodded, sheepish, building on what I’d said with the excuse of being in the sun for too long and taking on the extra work in the last few days; she closed with dismissal, saying that all she needed was extra rest.
After breakfast, however, Lin took me aside to fetch water for the kitchens. It wouldn’t take the two of us, though it made the process a lot faster.
“Hey, thanks for sticking up for me.”
“Hm?” I blinked at her, already exhausted.
“I was with Lord Kwang. Something tells me you knew that, though.”
My brow bunched together and my eyes looked away. I remembered then about Urekkato’s spell and shut them to the count of four. There didn’t seem like a correct way to say that I’d accidentally walked in on them, and I didn’t want Urekkato spying through me.
“I’m sorry I didn’t get to you when you needed help last night. But I don’t think I’d make things any better if I sprung out of the storeroom half naked.”
“It’s fine,” I said, wanting to avoid any recollection.
“Lord Juro seems really fond of you though. I saw how tenderly he was holding you.”
I shook my head, looking away from her teasing grin.
“If he does really like you, you should go for it. It’s better than staying stuck as a maid, I’ll tell you that much.”
“He keeps implying a proposal, but I just want to finish out my sentence and go home to my village,” I said. “I don’t know if I could handle more events like this.”
“A proposal? That’s better than any of us have gotten. You should take it! Juro might not be much to look at and have smaller lands and a smaller house, but you’d probably never have to work another day in your life. The higher lords hold court, so you wouldn’t have to worry about that either. The benefit to him is that he can keep his lands forever in spring or summer if he wants to. No more pickled fruit.”
“I don’t mind it pickled.”
“The worst you might have to deal with is stomaching him. And if you’ve already managed to do that, then it’s probably only a matter of getting used to it.”
“Getting used to what?”
“Sex. You’ve already given him a taste, right?”
I went rigid, nearly tripping, and my face pinked up at how direct Lin was. “I haven’t. Not with anyone.”
She quirked a brow at me. “Never?”
I shook my head. “He said he wanted eight or nine children, but that seems like a lot. And I don’t know that I’d want to marry him. He keeps smelling me, and it’s a creepy.”
“They’ve all got their vices,” said Lin with a laugh. We paused our conversation until we were away from others again. “Men. They’re obsessed with being fathers, warriors, and kings. If they obsessed about being good husbands and giving us ordinary girls a look, it’d be a better world. But we don’t have money or land or titles for a dowry.”
“A dowry?”
“Something the men get from the girl’s family. It’s sort of a way the family bribes him to marrying their daughter. Humans don’t do that?”
“Not in the village. A boy usually picks a girl because he likes her. And she learns household skills from her mother.”
“Makes things easier. But you’d still have to work all the time.”
“I don’t mind it.”
“You wouldn’t want to just do whatever you felt like and have someone else take care of everything?”
I did, once. “It actually makes me feel weird when someone does something for me. I’ve taken care of my family since I was nine.”
“Is that long for a human?”
“I wasn’t yet a woman. Not for another three years. And most girls in the villages don’t marry until they reach nineteen or twenty.”
“If there’s no dowry, what do you do?”
“The men all help to make them a small house. Sometimes, if one of them is the youngest child, they move into that family’s house. And their parents help to raise the babies. That’s how it was with my father. My mother was from a different village. But everyone gets together for a celebration, and the bride and groom are gifted things from friends to help start their life together. Things for the kitchen and tools for future repairs usually.”
“Not nearly as exciting.”
“I used to dream about the day I’d get married.”
“Not anymore?”
I stopped, reaching for my cheek. “After everything that’s happened, I don’t think there’s any village boy who likes me enough.”
Lin sighed, studying me with hands on her hips. “All the more reason you should take Lord Juro’s offer. Show the village boys they missed out.”
“Besides, it still feels weird living here. I don’t think I’d fit in.”
“You wouldn’t have to. Just keep him happy in bed once in a while and give him a child, if that’s even possible with humans. It’s about all they want.”
I cringed. “I only want to marry for love.”
“Wouldn’t we all? But how often does a chance like this happen? You could teach yourself to love him as you get used to him though.”
I thought a lot about what Lin said the rest of the day. Was I stupid for wanting love, even if it meant a tiny home in a poor village? Everyone else seemed to think so. I went about my duties, lost in thought, acting on the cues I noticed rather than being attentive. The wine gone from my pitcher, I left to refill it.
Inside the store room, Urekkato was waiting. I blinked, needing a moment to register the scene.
“How’s your arm?” asked Urekkato. He stepped forward, not giving me the chance to answer or ask how he knew. With one hand, he peeled my fingers from the ewer, with his other he slid back my sleeve to inspect. “Lucky you have Kwan as a friend. I saw Beom marching around and wanted to see what he was up to. I saw up until that first strike through your eyes. After that, the spell ended.”
He let go of me, seeming more tender than any other time we’d met. Maybe there was something charming about him. Or maybe the spell I allowed made me see him in a better light than there was.
“He’s that upset, huh?”
“I’ve been trying to avoid both of Lord Kwan’s brothers since.”
“What? No, not about that. He’s angry that I’m the one marrying Eumeh.”
I scrunched my brow at him.
“Every family sent a son they thought would best charm our king and the princess. Beom is too much of a brute and Kwang is too much of an idiot. That alone probably irritated him. To him, it seems unfair that he didn’t have the chance to make Eumeh his. It’s no secret that Kwan avoided being picked. Odds are, Beom might have seen to making sure every girl in Kwan’s house was deflowered if he had been picked.”
The revelation alarmed me. “Why would he do that? Wouldn’t it have been a good thing if Lord Kwan was chosen?”
“He’d have done it out of spite. Might have already tried,” said Urekkato, unconcerned. “Kwan practically handed Eumeh over to me, letting me take credit for Gumiho’s demise. Don’t misunderstand, I’m not complaining.” He laughed, ignoring my discomfort. “To Beom, he probably sees it that he was held back from any of the glory. After all, Kwan is the younger brother and has more fame than he does. If you believe the rumors, Kwan is just as, if not more powerful.”
I sighed, wanting no more of this. Urekkato seemed to be talking more to himself than me at that point, and I set myself to my task. There were things I wanted to ask, but at the same time I didn’t want to accidentally expose some weakness to Lord Kwan. He took my arm as I went to leave the storeroom.
“But your friend is right. Take Juro’s offer.”
I became still, my blood cold. And I refused to meet his eye.
“He likes you without having you. You’re in a rare position to make him do things the way you like.”
My skin crawled, and I winced. “I don’t want any part of those games.”
“It’s not a game this time. I think you should.” He let go, smiling at me as he led the way out. “And if you’re so unhappy in married life, I can visit you.”
“That’s kind of you, my lord,” I said, choosing my words carefully. “But I don’t think that’ll be necessary. I plan to go home.”
He shrugged. “Plans change all the time.”
I knew he was teasing, trying to make me uncomfortable. He was a little like Syaoran in that way. Entertained by my squirming under implications rather than saying anything out of a desire. I may have come to Lord Kwan’s house naïve, but I refused to stay that way.
Whether or not I was at home, I had to grow up.
The event of the final day of court was a dance. After all the politics and social calls and everything else that went beyond my comprehension, evening came. Feasting and dancing, with the newly engaged couple leading the procession and taking the first dance. The house had been open to all guests on the final day, so that Lord Kwan’s personal gardens could be admired.
As it was the hottest day so far, the men had taken the paper paned doors and wall panels of the common spaces out to hang from the ceiling over the veranda. A better viewing of the house interior was given this way as well. Every lantern was alight as soon as the sun started to set, giving a beautiful glow to the house, the courtyard, and the gardens. Special lanterns were brought out to place on the koi pond; extra food was given to them before hand, so that they’d leave the delicate floating lights alone.
Likewise, the guests moved elegantly in their clothes, and the music carried over them like a breeze. I recognized one dance as the group performance that Feng and Syaoran taught me. Several others were done as a collective, though I didn’t know the steps to those.
I wanted to be a part of it, to be bold enough to grab someone and take them into the routine as my partner. But it wasn’t my place, or any of our places. Stealing glances to the other girls, several kept looking to whatever lord they’d been trying to attract, hoping beyond hope to be asked to dance and have some official statement made—a promise that their effort wasn’t wasted.
So, I kept to the back of it all, unnoticed.
Lord Kwan didn’t dance with anyone, though his brother Kwang delighted in a new partner every time. Beom was nowhere to be found, and I didn’t know if I should’ve felt relief or concern by it. Urekkato took few dances, half of them with his bride-to-be, and the other half with ladies he took interest enough to ask. Even Juro found two ladies to accept a dance with him.
I could count the hours now. By morning, all the guests would be leaving, and wouldn’t come back the rest of the year. We would get up and dress courtly one last time, only to see them off.
With most of everyone accounted for, I took the opportunity to sneak off to the kennels to move my things back into my room. I made sure to stay aware of my surroundings, not wanting to run into Beom or a servant of a different household that’d taken liberties with wine consumption.
In collecting my things, I couldn’t help think about the puzzle box. It’d been abandoned since before I’d arrived. Forgotten. But, with hands full, I didn’t want to risk taking it as well.
For the best, since my room held an unexpected sight: Syaoran, sleeping on my bed.
Walking up, I kept as quiet as I could. He looked so still and peaceful that I didn’t want to wake him. A queer thought came, suggesting he might be hurt or sick. With my things set, I looked over him, assessing without touching him. He woke anyway. For all I knew, it was because I breathed too loudly.
In an instant, he grabbed me, claws ready. Then stopped once he recognized me, either from my face or the pathetic squeak of surprise.
“It’s just you,” said Syaoran, sighing his relief.
“Who else would it be?” I reclaimed myself and stood straight.
“You were sneaking up on me.”
