Thorns That Bloom (Venusverse), page 33
“Oh!” I blurt out, a thought popping up abruptly. My brain’s finally warming up enough to function properly. “I forgot to tell you yesterday. Gail called me.”
Theo’s face takes on a more serious expression. “I thought we said it would be better to wait a few more months before pursuing the—”
“Wasn’t about that,” I say calmly. It’s sweet how protective he gets of me right away. Relaxing his shoulders, Theo nods. “Remember the email I found among the ones I received from all my old coworkers? The one from the girl who confided in me that she experienced something similar as well?”
His eyes flicker with pained sympathy. “Yeah. Did she take you up on the offer to join in and start working with Gail and the others?”
“Yeah. Gail said they’re in contact. That it could be big. Once everyone’s ready to get it going. There must be more victims, so they’re still looking. There could be criminal charges. And Magnolia really thinks this could be a part of their larger push to rework or completely dismantle the ROPID laws those alphas hide behind. It will take some time, but hopefully, it’s going to…have a good outcome. Help a lot of people. Anyway, that’s…not really why she called. Gail was asking me if I’d like to be a part of a social media campaign they’re going to run. Interviewing survivors and spreading awareness.”
I can tell just the mention of her gets Theo low, no matter how hard he tries to hide it. “That all sounds really great. And you’re going to do it? This interview?” he asks, sounding fiercely supportive, as he always does.
“I declined. I hope it doesn’t hurt my chances at—”
“They would never deprioritize your case just because you didn’t agree to some media thing, Sam,” he assures me firmly.
Licking the whipped cream from the corner of my mouth, I smile at him. “Well, I said a little more than a no. It was pretty obvious to me that the campaign is just going to be reiterating the same views Gail has on alphas, and I told her I didn’t want to be a part of that. The real change, the one that affects the laws and is about fairness and justice? I’m all up for that. But this… I told her it wasn’t fair to the good ones unless the interview was nuanced enough not to paint every alpha as a monster.”
Theo blinks. He slowly moves his coffee cup, already pressed to his lips for his next drink, back down to the table.
His eyes soften, and he looks at me with a loving sense of gratitude. “That’s… You didn’t have to say that.”
“I didn’t say it for you.” I frown. “I said it because it’s the truth, Theo.”
“What…did she say?” he asks tentatively, voice low.
“She sounded taken aback. Then said that it was okay. Assured me that participation wasn’t mandatory and even mentioned that maybe the campaign could use more unbiased eyes before it goes further. She also asked about the baby and how we’re doing, and I…I said that she should come and see her someday. Come see us, since she’s Melody’s aunt. And I might have asked her if she’s considering repairing her relationship with you.”
“You did what?” he nearly spits out.
I knew that wouldn’t make him thrilled, but I can’t keep seeing the two of them like this, for no good reason. “I had to.”
Theo’s pheromones come out subconsciously, laced with bitter uncertainty. “And she said…?” His voice drifts away, like it’s almost too much for him to allow himself to hope. I want him to hope, though. I want him to fix this wound on his heart; the wound affecting their whole family, and I’ll do what I can to help with that.
“She got really quiet. For a while, actually. She said she’d like to meet Melody, and that she had thought about it. About the two of you, I mean.” I remember the way her voice became so painfully unsteady. “She admitted that as more and more time has passed since it happened, she’s found it harder and harder to get back in contact. To know how to go about mending things with you and your parents. Maybe…maybe this can be a way for you to do that. An excuse, at least,” I say, giving him an encouraging smile.
Theo smiles back, if a little hesitantly. “I would love for her to meet Mel.”
“Me too. And she will. I know it. I think it could really help move this in a good direction.”
His eyes glisten with emotion, and after nodding, Theo stays quiet for a moment, just staring into his cup. I let him process, patiently studying his thoughtful expression.
I do hope Theo and Gail can get over their misunderstandings and find a way back to each other. I want that for him.
“Speaking of meetings,” he says quickly after he sips his coffee, blue eyes lighting up with positive energy again. “My dads invited us to dinner on Monday. They said it would be great for us to get out of the apartment and have a little break. I think they just want to have a baby around. They basically begged me.”
I laugh with Theo.
“I wasn’t sure whether to say yes. You wanted me to go to that therapy session with you on Monday, right?”
Crap. I almost forgot about that.
“Yeah, that’s right. I should be okay to go to your parents’ after. They always make me feel relaxed, anyway.” While my therapy sessions have been less consistent since Melody’s birth, I’m determined to keep going with them.
Bringing Theo with me to address some possible issues, even proactively, was Dr. Stewart’s suggestion. I was nervous at first, but she has a way of making me open up about stuff, so it can only be good for us.
That way, I can be more honest and intimate with Theo. He deserves that. He deserves to have the best, healthiest partner I can be for him, myself, and our daughter.
“Are you sure it won’t be too much?” he asks softly.
I lean forward over the table and take his head between my palms, running my thumbs over his cheeks reassuringly. “I’m sure. Thank you. For thinking of me.”
It will be good to see them after. Theo’s dad having gone through a similar ordeal, and both of them already knowing what we’ve been dealing with, always makes me feel less alone. His dad and I have this unspoken solidarity, and I’m more hopeful around him. He’s the proof that I can live a long, happy, content life. In a fulfilling relationship. A proof that what happened to me doesn’t have to define me. And it won’t.
Theo smirks, his voice rumbling low when he whispers, “I’m always thinking of you.”
We finish our breakfast in silence, peacefully watching the world outside wake up. Moments like these are rare, so I savor it, allowing myself to exist in the present without worrying or letting my thoughts wander. This ordinary, peaceful moment, made perfect in every way by the person I share it with.
“What?” Theo asks with a shy grin once he notices my gaze following him. He’s standing up to pick up our empty plates and put them in the kitchen.
I purse my lips, shrugging. “Nothing.” Glancing back at me suspiciously, Theo saunters to the kitchen, giving me a sumptuous view of his backside and the V-shaped back muscles leading down to his narrow waist. “Let’s go back to bed, lounge about for a bit,” I suggest.
Theo turns to me with the expression of an excited puppy, his eyes basically sparkling. “Don’t have to ask me twice.”
I walk around the bed to check on Melody first. She’s sound asleep, being gently rocked in her crib. Her puffy upper lip quivers a little before she shifts and lets out a satisfied sigh that makes my heart flutter.
Theo appears behind me, wrapping his hands around my waist and resting his chin on my shoulder to join in on the viewing.
“I can’t believe I made something so perfect,” I whisper.
“I can.” He places a kiss on my neck. It sends pleasant shivers all over my body. I push my head back, relaxing against his body with an exhale. Theo runs his hand toward my stomach and slips it under my shirt to knead at the stretched skin on my belly. The same way he’s been doing ever since I came back from the hospital. It made me uncomfortable and self-conscious at first, but he’s somehow managed to convince me that there’s beauty worthy of appreciation in the ways my body has changed. And Theo sure likes to appreciate it.
“The bed,” I whisper, the restless sensation I’ve been feeling from the moment I woke up to see him with the baby growing stronger within me.
“Right.” He chuckles. “Sorry.”
Before joining Theo, I carefully take Melody out of her cot to move her. Thankfully, she’s a pretty good sleeper, so she only opens her eyes for a moment after I put her in the crib in the nursery and then quickly drifts back to sleep.
Once I get back, we lie next to each other, wrapping our arms and legs together. I release my pheromones with a deep sigh and hope that Theo can sense the need in them. The yearning for more than just some morning cuddles.
“Mhmmm,” he hums eagerly, pushing closer toward me. We’re almost flush; chest to chest, crotch against crotch. “Are you sure?” he asks gently and brushes my curls out of my face.
I thrust my hips into him, drawing out a moan with ease, and lean in to suck on his bottom lip. Theo grabs the back of my head to pull me into a proper kiss.
“I want to try,” I say, my stomach twisting with desire and throat tightening with desperation. Theo pauses and meets my eyes, caution and lust warring within him.
It’s been a while since we tried something like that. The baby has left little time for anything.
“Is that…”
“It’s been almost three months. It’s safe. My body’s ready.” I attempt to prod him into action by seizing his lips with mine. Theo kisses me only for a moment before pulling away again with a trembling breath.
“What about your mind? Are you sure this isn’t too fast?”
My jaw tenses. Sometimes his care is too much. Lovely, but too much. I frown and grab his hand, leading it between my cheeks. “Feel how ready I am for you,” I whisper. The fire in Theo’s eyes grows. They go wide and full of sparks as his fingers slide in.
Theo pushes his face down and across my collarbone, a sexy, throaty groan escaping him. His fingers tentatively explore around my hole, teasing and pushing against the entrance. “Sam, you… Ah, you—” I hear him draw in my scent and pause, words seizing on his lips.
It takes me a moment to realize.
“It’s okay. You-you can say it.”
“But you told me—”
I tighten my grip on his hair and pull his head down so it rests against my pounding heart. He really remembers everything. Every little detail, every stupid, throwaway comment I’ve made. It’s endearing and frustrating. “I know. I want you to… I want to take it back. I want to hear it and think of only you.”
Theo presses one finger inside me, making me moan.
“Okay… Because you do. You smell so fucking good it’s unreal, Sam. Ever since you had the baby, the sage tones of your pheromones have gotten stronger. Richer,” he says, the words overflowing with a desperate sense of craving. I hold my eyes closed, focusing on the sound of his voice. The way he says these things is nothing like the way they did.
No, this is different. This is Theo, and it is so much more.
“That delicious scent of your slick is like a drug to me,” he keeps talking, letting himself go, and I just melt into him, succumbing to the comfort and safety of it. “It makes me want to get on my hands and knees and worship you like a god. Oh, the way my cock gets hard and my balls draw tight the moment I smell it…”
I cry out his name, so lost in him the word is barely identifiable. “Then worship me,” I urge him, my voice shaky. His fingers aren’t enough. Our cocks grinding against each other over clothes isn’t enough. “I need you inside me. Please, fuck me.”
He lets out something that sounds almost like a growl, his muscles flexing.
“Sam…”
“I can do it. I want you and your cock more than anything, okay?”
Theo pulls away sharply and gets on his knees. I watch him loom over me in all his handsome glory, wide shoulders lifting with heavy breaths. He looks like he’s fighting with himself as he studies me, but then he finally pulls his boxers down.
His erection bounces out, slapping against his belly. It’s pink and perfect, slightly wider toward the head and glistening with precum. All for me.
I lick my lips and start taking off my sleeping t-shirt and loose shorts.
“Talk to me, okay?” Theo urges, adjusting himself between my legs before he spreads them wide. I nod roughly, helping him by lifting my hips.
His touch is good. It’s good and electric, and I want so much more of it.
Slowly, he runs his hands from my knees to my inner thighs, kneading at them. “You’re so soft,” he mutters, sounding almost drunk. His hands follow his heavy-lidded eyes and move swiftly around my cock to reach my belly. Theo tickles down my happy trail before tracing the shape of the raised stretch marks on my skin.
“Theo. I’m going to lose my damn mind if you don’t fuck me,” I say desperately, tipping my head back.
I hear the low rumble of his laugh. When his cock brushes against mine, I curl my toes and dig them into the mattress. Theo doesn’t touch me with his hands down there—it’s a boundary we haven’t worked out yet—but he rubs our cocks together before sliding his head down, over my balls, and down to my taint.
I stop myself from crying out his name full volume at the last moment, quickly smacking my hand over my mouth. The door to Melody’s room is open. I can’t just let it all out.
“You gotta to keep it down, lovely,” Theo cautions me, a mischievous grin on his face. He knows what he’s doing. He knows how fucking good it feels to have his cock pressing down on my perineum. I wriggle under him like a snake, my own hardness bobbing against my stomach. The scent of our pheromones hangs in the air, heavy and thick with need.
Finally, Theo teases my wet entrance with the tip of his cock.
I take a deep breath and look down. “That’s it.”
“You want this, hm?” he asks—teasing, testing. I nod. “I’m going to go slow. I’m going to fill you up with my cock and make love to you, alright?”
The head goes in smoothly. I arch my back off the bed and raise one of my legs, desperately trying to relax. Because I want him. I want to be connected and close, but…even though there’s no pain, Theo’s girth is nothing like him fucking me with his fingers.
An uneasy sensation bubbles at the bottom of my stomach. I tamp it down.
“Keep going,” I say, breathing out shakily.
With his hands gripping my thighs and pulling them up, he slots himself deeper. The fullness of it passes through my entire being. It’s overwhelming. Overpowering. I continue reminding myself to look, to see it’s Theo, my wonderful Theo, but the sight of someone penetrating me sends cold shivers down my spine.
“Sam.”
I jerk, quickly meeting his gaze. For a second, it’s like I completely forgot where I was, even though my eyes were wide open.
“Oh, Sam. You’re trembling.” I wince when he pulls out. Swallowing hard, I look down. He’s right. My arms and legs are shaking. Frowning in confusion, I feel Theo’s hot body press against me as he hugs me. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. You’re okay,” he whispers, gently running his fingers through my hair. “Do you want me to give you space? What do you need?”
I feel confused and shaken and so terribly out of control.
“No, I…I’m okay.”
Why am I so cold out of nowhere? Why is this happening? I want him.
“I want you,” I say, urgent and clear. When I try to pull away, he doesn’t let me, holding on tight with a tender ‘shhhh’.
“I know you do.” There’s that wariness in his voice I hate hearing.
“I mean it. I’m ready, this is just— I…”
Shame takes over. Why am I not ready? Why can’t I do this? Is it the pheromones in the air? Is that what makes it too much? Or is there no reason at all and I’m just broken?
Theo must be able to read my emotions. When he pulls away to see my face, I barely hold in the tears prickling in my eyes. “I just need a moment. I want to do it, Theo. Fuck, I’m not scared of you. I’m not, I just want to…” Words leave me, frustration and helplessness making it almost impossible to get any of my jumbled thoughts out.
He kisses me on the forehead so tenderly I want to fall apart in his arms.
“I know. God, I want you too, but there’s no rush.” He smiles at me, his eyes full of patience. “We don’t have to do that today, lovely. Or tomorrow. Or ever, for that matter. It’s okay.”
It scares me to know that he really means that. That if I never said yes, he would never push. Like a stupidly perfect paragon of consideration and patience. And yet I can’t get my body to let go and allow Theo in.
Why the fuck can’t I?!
“I’m sorry…”
He kisses me again, this time on the cheek. “You have nothing to apologize for, lovely. You put too much pressure on yourself about this. What was it that Dr. Stewart told you?”
I roll my eyes and sigh. “Be gentle and patient with yourself.”
Theo smirks, gratified. He leans in to touch the tip of his nose to mine. “That’s right. There’s nothing that makes penetration better or more special than any other thing we can do. Or more enjoyable,” he adds, running his tongue over my lower lip before I sweep in and pull him into a kiss.
I’m not shaking anymore. My body eases into the comfort again, even if the sense of disappointment and embarrassment stays at the back of my mind, weighing me down slightly.
Needily, I press my cock into his hip. “I’m still horny,” I whisper.
“I’m aware,” Theo says, husky voice strained with lust. “There are other ways I can fuck you. If that is still what you want, hm? Squeeze your thighs together for me.”
I follow his instructions, excitement throbbing through the base of my cock. As I lie on my back, Theo holds both of my legs together, lifting them slightly, right under my knees. He adjusts himself, kneeling while he rests my feet over his shoulder.
He drags his fingers against the direction of my hair on my thighs before gripping my thigh, and thrusts his hips forward. I clench my teeth and inhale sharply when his cock brushes over my balls. Staying there for a moment, he meets my eyes for assurance, then thrusts between my thighs again.
