Thorns That Bloom (Venusverse), page 3
His eyes are mossy green and soft. Coupled with his slightly awkward aura, I successfully convince myself that he’s not a threat.
“I’ll leave you to it for now. Duty calls,” Sandra says while glancing at her smartwatch. “There are some legal papers we still need to complete together, but we shall deal with that after lunch. Don’t want to overwhelm you.”
I nod. “Thank you.”
Sandra rushes out of the room, leaving only the two of us.
Just as I turn my attention from the door back to Kristoff, I notice his eyes flicker sharply from my stomach to my face. He smiles politely. So they told him, huh? I guess everyone knows, even though I’m not showing much. Some betas can get a little weird about pregnant omega men, especially if they’re not used to seeing it.
Wouldn't be the first time in the last few months I've encountered a beta who can't quite look me in the eye.
“How long have you been working here?” I ask, hoping to fill the awkward silence.
Kristoff perks up. “About two years. Let’s, um… do you want to take a seat?” He points to the office chair in front of the desk. Stretching my back quickly, I do, and turn on the computer while I’m at it.
He glances around the room and heads toward a chair that has a storage box and what seems to be an old, broken printer stacked on top of it. With a huff, he sets them aside, brushes off the dust, and rolls the chair in so he can sit next to me, leaning over the backrest with his chest. “Alrighty,” Kristoff says, letting out a frazzled pant while it creaks under him.
As he shuffles closer to be able to show me something on the computer, my body locks up. My hand twitches to shield my stomach without thinking.
A little too close, but it’s okay. Everything is fucking fine. I need to get over this uneasiness.
“So...you’ve obviously been told, but you’re here to store and generally upkeep the data from the Engineering. Do the stuff they don’t have time for. I think they’re behind on quite a few things for the yearly review for the management. By…um, by them, I mean us. We…are…pretty late on things,” he says with an uneasy, guilty grin.
I chuckle. At least he’s honest.
“Sounds like what I should be doing, yeah. I did something similar in my other job.”
“Good. Great! Well, let me bring you up to speed with the program and everything. That’s the most important thing right now. I’ll run to IT and have them set up your account, password, and all that stuff later,” Kristoff continues in an upbeat tone. “I’ve been told I am good at explaining things, so let’s hope that’s the case.”
I gradually coax my body into relaxing again. Rather than worrying or being uncomfortable, I focus on his words and attentively nod as he takes me through the system, the program, and everything else I am going to need to know.
As much as I worried about returning to work, it seems to make my mind flow in a way that stops it from tangling up in those self-destructive, overthinking loops. I fixate on every little detail of the program in front of me instead of the chaos inside and it…works.
The hours fly by. Before I realize it, my stomach growls for food so loudly it interrupts what Kristoff is saying about the advanced settings of the export options.
I move back into the chair with an apologetic grimace while he laughs. “Ah, look at the time! I can’t believe we’ve been here this long,” he says, looking at the clock. “You must be starving! And not just— Not just because you’re eating for two. I mean, I’m starving,” he mumbles, his hands awkwardly shooting up.
For the first time in a long while, I genuinely smile. “I am,” I admit. “Is the cafeteria any good?”
“Oh, it is!” He flashes his brows at me eagerly. “You picked the best day to start. On Mondays, it’s always something special. Did Mrs. Randall show you how to get there? It gets a bit complicated if you take the wrong turn. Every hallway looks the same here.”
“No. She didn’t,” I say, lowering my voice.
The angry, lonely part of me I’ve been nurturing these past few months wants nothing to do with this. It doesn’t want to pay attention to his hopeful eyes, excited for a chat, for human interaction.
But I also feel horrible. Everyone here seems decent enough. How messed up is it for me to be skeptical of such a simple thing like a coworker inviting me for lunch? He all but does with the way he glances at me.
The last thing I want is to come off as some weird loner on the first day of my new job.
“Could you show me there?” I ask, using all my willpower to keep my voice from shaking.
This is good for me. For us.
Kristoff raises his eyebrows excitedly. “Course!”
There might be no alphas here, but there will be in the other departments. If I’m to face that, I’d rather do it with this person by my side than alone.
Chapter 3
Theo
I plop myself on the bench and stretch my arms above my head with a groan. It’s been a busy morning of more than usual running around the factory. Ben pushes a tray of food in front of me, having gotten me the meal that I wanted, though my little pot of tiramisu sits on his side.
“Hey, I was excited about that,” I say, flashing him a disgruntled frown.
He crosses his legs, resting his ankle on his knee. “Tax,” he says with a smirk.
I playfully roll my eyes and start eating. More guys from the floor join us shortly. A wave of boisterous chatter quickly fills the space. Compared to the focused silence and the methodical clicking of the machinery, it brings me peace and, weirdly, relaxes my brain.
“When is your music thing happening again?” Ben asks, chewing with his mouth open.
Blake, sitting across from me, hears and lifts his head. “Still going on with that?”
I nod and look down with a shy smile. I hardly ever get stage fright, but for some reason, talking about my hobby in front of my coworkers makes me feel all anxious. Half of them are my parents’ age and probably think it’s something stupid and useless to spend time on and that alphas are supposed to do something manly and tough, not strum a guitar and sing romantic songs in bars.
“Yeah. It’s Thursday evening.”
“Thursday? Eh… Couldn’t you have done Friday?” Ben mutters.
“Fridays and the weekends are for big names. I’m not a big name,” I say with an amused chuckle. I should count myself lucky that the place even accepted me.
“Yet!” One of the guys at the table shouts.
Ben gives me a knowing look. “Yeah. According to my missus, he’ll be big one day. Has that, and I quote, ‘cute face, pretty smile, and dreamy voice.’” Ben narrows his eyes while pointing his spoon at me. “Never leaving you alone with my wife, by the way.”
Most people around the table erupt into laughter. Feeling my cheeks heat, I poke Ben’s shoulder with a chuckle. “I’m not trying to get big,” I say. “Or steal your damn wife, for that matter. It’s just a hobby.”
“You’ve got superfans already,” Jeremy notes bitingly, mostly aimed at Ben, who makes a dissatisfied grunt. “That’s how it all starts.”
My phone vibrates in my pocket, so I pull it out.
Speaking of superfans.
As soon as I see Emily’s name on the screen, a wave of discomfort passes through me. It must show on my face clearer than I mean for it to, because Ben immediately leans in to check for himself.
Missing you, babe… And I know you miss me too. *winking emoji*
Call me? Please? xx
“My god,” he nearly yells in my ear, making me flinch away from him. “I thought you said you ended things with her?”
Guilt creeps up my spine. It sours the taste of the food in my mouth, so I put the fork down and lean over my plate with a sigh. “I never said that. We…went on a break,” I mutter.
“I swear, dude. I’ve never met a person so afraid of breaking up with someone. Just do it!”
I wish it were so easy. Wish there were a way for me to do that without hurting her.
Knowing Ben won’t be interested in me moaning about my love life, and neither will anyone else around, I rest my chin over my hand propped against the table, staring at my food.
Emily has done a lot for me. She’s been my first real relationship and my biggest fan ever since I started performing. Always by my side, always cheering me on. A little too eagerly, perhaps. A little too focused on fame and this image of me as some star. Which just isn’t me.
But how can I tell her that I don’t feel the spark anymore? The pull in me not to disappoint anyone has always been way too strong for my own good.
“Lemme go replace the dessert you stole from me,” I say, and swiftly get up before Ben can respond. I run my hand through my hair as I walk through the busy cafeteria, hoping an infusion of sugar will ease some of the tension.
It’s been a few months since I haven’t felt right with Emily. And no matter how many times I’ve tried to explain it to her or have a serious conversation, she just wouldn’t…accept it. She would look at me with those doe eyes, and I’d instantly feel like a piece of shit for pulling away. For ruining the longest relationship I’ve ever had.
Maybe Ben is right.
Maybe it’s stupid that I’m not able to make that tough choice and break up. I can’t go on like this, that’s for sure. Emily would be happier with someone who wants to spend the rest of their life with her. That’s not me anymore. Hasn’t been for a while.
I’m the worst.
Hanging my head down to contemplate how best to break the news to her—over dinner, or maybe somewhere public?—I stand in front of the chilled display cabinet with the dozens of little pots of desserts and reach for one. As I turn around, my body collides with a mass behind me before I can even look up.
“Shit! Sorry,” I blurt out, quickly glancing up. An unfamiliar, intense tightness grips my entire body before I can even face whoever I ran into. I stop in my tracks as the scent of bittersweet blackcurrant with a faint undertone of sage hits my nose, completely ordinary but remarkable at the same time.
I blink and for a fleeting, perfect moment in time, I am nothing but this right now.
The whole world slows and becomes sharper in a strangely tranquil way. Only that smell remains, and all I can hear is the sound of my heart pounding in my chest. My stomach swoops and flutters, and somehow, I'm not afraid of this sudden shift. Instead, it is soothing and comforting in the most profound sense.
With my mouth half open, I watch the back of whoever it was as he rushes away. He doesn’t look at me, turn, or even slow down.
I blink again to make sure I’m awake, and look at my trembling hand by my side. Turning it around to see my palm, I try to understand why it feels like something is buzzing underneath my skin, all the way from the spot near my shoulder where our bodies touched. It’s like I got woken up by a bucketful of freezing water.
“Hey,” someone speaks behind me, making me jump. “Are you done?”
“Ye-yeah, sorry,” I mutter, moving out of the way so the woman can reach for the desserts, too.
Still confused, I slowly head back to the table, but have to turn to see where that man went. His pheromones stay on my tongue as I open my mouth to wet my lips. No one else seems bothered or alarmed. Is it just me?
He sits in the corner across the room, with some of the office and design staff. Short, tight curls fall in his face as he leans over, focused on his food while others chat around him. His beard is neatly trimmed and full, long just enough to cover the pale skin underneath. He’s completely unassuming in his loose gray sweater and black slacks.
Ben already looks me up and down when I approach our table. He raises his brow and darts his eyes to the side in a questioning expression. “You alright?” he asks with a confused chuckle.
I sit down, my heart still pounding wildly inside my chest.
Am I?
“Yeah,” I say, placing down the pot of tiramisu. Suddenly, I don’t really care for the sweet treat anymore. My mind’s completely wiped, and all I can think about is— “Is that person new here?” I ask, staring in the direction of the man, hoping Ben saw him. “I don’t think I’ve seen him before.”
“Who?”
“Hm?” one of the guys around the table speaks up, straightening their back to look where I’m looking. They all perk up and become interested, the damn gossipy lot.
“The guy with dark brown hair, corner table, by the window. Gray sweater.”
Ben shrugs. “No idea, dude.”
“Is that the pregnant omega from design?” Blake wonders out loud. My pulse quickens even more. I hardly ever go to the design engineers. Usually, some other poor fool deals with the task of bothering them with questions and asking for changes to the plans. “I think Bethany said something about that. Started a couple of weeks ago. Something about a transfer from the eastern branch of Torken.”
“From Torken, huh?”
“Weird,” someone notes.
Blake purses his lips. “Yeah. They never willingly send people here. Maybe somethin’ happened? Probably isn’t anyone important, otherwise they would’ve done that whole welcome meeting thing.”
The topic dies down, and the others return to finishing their lunches. I stay with my waist twisted around until a person at the man’s table notices my prolonged stare, so I quickly turn back to face my plate.
I’ve never noticed him before. Then again, I usually turn my brain off when on a break and focus only on work otherwise. And I didn’t catch that he was pregnant, either, with how fast he ran off. Did he even hear me apologizing?
I thoughtfully rub my fingers together, still confused at my body’s bizarre reaction.
What is it? I’ve never felt this way.
Is my rut about to start? My thoughts are always all over the place when it does. Calculating quickly in my head, I conclude that it shouldn’t bother me for a few more weeks.
Never mind, I tell myself and dig into the tiramisu, seeing how little time I have left of the break before having to get back to the manufacturing floor. Still, somewhere inside me, there’s a faint buzzing sensation. A light fluttering at the bottom of my stomach, and a comforting heat pooling underneath my skin.
We all get back to work shortly after. I quickly settle into the predictable, calming rhythm of handling the machinery, even though, at the back of my mind, something stirs. The smell keeps coming back to me, sharp in contrast to the harsh scent of metal and dust.
It’s a few hours of comfortingly monotone work until I zone back into my surroundings and notice Madison arguing about something with Blake not far away. She holds a tablet in her hand, pointing at it and rolling her eyes while saying something to him.
A smirk pushes against my lips—I know that scene pretty well. Some issue again. Usually, I would ignore it and let her deal with it. Let her worry about going up into Engineering and fighting with them about missing materials or wrong calculations or nonsensical instructions.
This time…something inside me tightens with urgency.
“Hey!” I blurt out as she’s passing me with a stride that clearly says she’s not letting someone hear the end of it. Raising her already arched brow, Madison pauses while I quickly struggle to put the machine in front of me on standby.
“Theo. What is it?” If I didn’t know she’s just irritated with Engineering’s mistakes, I would maybe take her annoyed tone personally. “I’m a little busy. Through no fault of mine,” she notes grumpily, shifting at her hips, and glances down at her tablet.
I make a wide step toward her with a smile.
What the hell am I doing?
“You’re going up again, right? I gotta go there to sort something anyway, so do you want me to deal with it?” I ask, raising my brows and making my most ‘happy to help’ expression.
She looks me up and down, her head quirked and her brow furrowed.
“I know the drill, Mads,” I say with a chuckle. Glancing over, I quickly scan the screen of the tablet. “We’ve had this problem before. I think it was just a wrong part identification number. I know you go there all the time to shout at them, so how about I go and save everyone the blood pressure spike, huh?”
Madison narrows her eyes behind thick glasses. I don’t think she’s more than a decade older than me, but somehow she commands a lot more respect than the other managers.
“Usually, you people stumble over each other not to have to go up there and argue with those pricks, but…whatever, I guess.” She finally relents with a sigh, lazily handing me the tablet. “I need a smoke break, anyway. My god,” she grumbles, “the incompetence of those people is going to kill me one day.”
I feel like a giddy kid who just got the exact toy they wanted.
“Don’t worry, I’ve got it,” I say with a wide smile.
Madison shakes her head, chuckling while her hand searches inside the pocket of her overalls for a pack. “You’re cute, aren’t ya,” she says, more to herself than to me, and turns to walk away. “Just leave the tablet on my desk later. And don’t be too soft on them. If they bitch, ask for Mitchel.”
“Yes, ma’am!” I holler back at her, saluting, but she doesn’t turn.
Looking at the tablet in my hands, I take a deep breath before waving down Ben across the manufacturing floor. He studies me from his station. Motioning at the tablet, then my station, and pointing upstairs, I let him know I’ll be right back. He gives a confused nod.
It isn’t until I am outside the room and walk down the hall to the elevators that I notice my heart drumming inside my chest. I look down, meeting eyes with my reflection on the tablet’s screen, and have to ask myself, again, what the hell I’m doing.
The moment I realized where Madison was going, all I could think about was that it meant an excuse to maybe see him again.
