Thorns That Bloom (Venusverse), page 28
I snort at the ridiculous suggestion.
“Oh, don’t be, lovely. There’s no need to feel bad for me. As long as you and the baby won’t be bothered by those monsters ever again, it was all worth it. And I’d do it again. I’d do anything in my power to make sure of that.”
Something sweet flashes behind his eyes. He smiles shyly.
“What?”
“It’s stupid, but I like it…when you call me lovely.”
I grin, leaning closer. “You do?” All of this makes me both excited and worried. It seems like we’ve moved over some kind of bump. There’s not the same hesitation from Sam to flirt with me, to touch me, but I worry it’s really what he wants. What if it’s only some innate need to gravitate toward safety in the turbulent situation he’s in? What if it really is only the pregnancy hormones?
He purses his lips in a playful smile. “Yeah. Partly because it’s funny. No one’s ever called me that. I’m not ‘lovely’ at all, usually.”
I gape at him. “You are lovely. Everything about you is lovely.”
Sam rolls his eyes.
“Anyway! We got distracted talking about my stupid past. I meant to ask you more about how the meeting went,” I say the moment I realize. “Gail believes they’re going to be able to fight them, yeah?”
The spark in Sam’s eyes weakens a little. “She sounded confident. If not going to court again for the…main thing…then definitely at least making sure he…can’t demand anything.” Pensively, Sam looks down at the belly he’s cradling. “She said that lawyer, Magnolia Ridley, will file a motion for a protection order on Monday. Then, they can pull some strings to make stuff go faster, apparently.” Sam releases a bitter chuckle, one surely encompassing all the pain and hardship he’s experienced when fighting in courts before.
I should think about the horrible things he went through and the injustice of it, and yet I can’t stop admiring how beautiful he looks right now. With his full cheeks, chestnut eyes and the unmistakable roundness of his stomach, I want nothing more than to touch it and feel the baby stir inside.
‘Our baby,’ a fucked-up, possessive voice in my heart whispers intently.
“You’re letting out pheromones,” Sam warns, making me jolt.
Shit.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t—”
His placid smile makes me pause. He doesn’t seem upset. “It’s okay. I was going to…” Drawing a deep breath, he looks like he’s psyching himself up to say something important. “I know I said I wanted to deal with it on my own, but that was yesterday. Today, I just… I don’t want to be alone. I was wondering if you’d like to come to my apartment to keep me company. We could watch some shows or football or something.”
My heart leaps with joy. I nod sharply, realizing far too late that I must look like an overeager idiot.
“I could cook for you,” I suggest.
The hint of unease in his eyes makes me pull away. With a serious expression, I raise a brow, hoping he tells me what it is. “I know it’s stupid,” he says with a nervous titter. “You were in my apartment the other day, but this…is different. It’s a big step for me.”
“It’s not stupid at all.”
He smirks. “Yeah, you’d say that.”
“I mean it.”
“I know you do. It’s… I don’t want to be alone today. And if I think about who I would like to have next to me, it’s you. But I need you to understand that it’s only that. Nothing more. Nothing more can happen, Theo.”
The fact that he worries about that hurts me, even though I know it isn’t a lack of trust in me. It’s solely the weight of what they did to him.
“Of course,” I say in a similarly serious manner. “I would never do anything to hurt you, Sam. I swear to you. I expect only what you explicitly give me, okay? I might…I might want you,” I admit, gulping down the saliva that pools in my mouth at the mere thought, “but I’d never let that guide what I do.”
Sam’s shoulders go back with a tense inhale. When he exhales, there’s a lighter, more lively aura about him. “I believe you. And I trust you. I told you—you’re nothing like them. I just needed to make it clear to feel calmer about it, and I do now. I’d love for you to cook, but there’s not much to work with, as you’ve seen.” He smirks. “Should we go to the store first? You can pick whatever you want and get the ingredients.”
“Sounds great.”
Cooking delicious meals for Sam and making him comfortable is all I want. It’s a hundred times more appealing than the other, more primal needs of my body.
And knowing he trusts me this much completely erases the doubts I had earlier.
Chapter 22
Theo
Sam and I spend an hour or two doing some retail therapy before we finally get the groceries and walk toward where Sam parked his car. I can’t stop smiling when I look at him, replaying in my head how excited he got when he found those cute baby socks with elephants on them in the clothing section that we somehow wandered into.
There’s so much I still don’t know about him, but the way I keep uncovering more and more makes me feel like this is what I’ve been waiting for my entire life. This one person I get to spend the rest of my existence learning about and growing closer to until we’re exactly what I know deep down we’re meant to be—two hearts beating in one rhythm.
“My damn ankles are swelling so bad,” Sam mutters grumpily, rubbing his lower back.
“We’re almost at the car, right?”
“Yeah. Ugh, I can’t even walk around normally anymore.”
“You’ve had a long day. We get to yours and you can lie down, put your feet up, and wait for me to make you a feast, hm?” I turn to him with an excited grin.
Sam grimaces, then glances down at the heavy bag of groceries in my hand. “You bought way too much. Not that I won’t be able to eat it. This child is like a tapeworm. The hunger is endless. Then there’s the heartburn, and the swelling, and the— Well, you don’t have to know about all the horrible side-effects,” he grumbles to himself. “Trust me. You don’t want to.”
I can’t help laughing. Not at him, though; at how grumpy he gets when he’s uncomfortable. It’s too endearing. I plan to make him as comfortable as humanly possible once we're at his place.
“Theo?” I hear somewhere behind us.
Sam and I both halt. I glance around, squinting in confusion. The voice is familiar.
“It is him!” I squint and see the tall blonde waving at me from across the path leading from the shops toward the parking lot. It takes a few moments for me to place her—it’s Kailee, from high school. She has a pram in front of her and a group of women her age surrounding her. They’re all heading our way.
“Oh, long time no see,” I say with a little wave. I turn to Sam, who stands next to me with a slightly annoyed expression. He quickly changes it when he meets my eyes, but I know he’s not very comfortable. “I’m sorry. She’s from high school. Haven’t seen her in—”
“Catch up, it’s okay. Really.” He shifts on his feet and rests his hand under his belly. “Really.”
Before I can argue, Kailee gets to us. She’s beaming. “Theodore Reid!”
It takes a little longer to register the faces of the others. The curvaceous ginger with bright green eyes to her left, Hannah, went to the same school as us, only in a different class. The short woman with a bouncy afro had joined the school for the final year. I never really talked to her much. She was very shy, especially in front of boisterous, annoying alphas like myself. I don’t recognize the brunette with a toddler in her arms behind Kailee at all, but the woman next to her that’s on her phone, dressed in all black, was our classmate, too.
“Would you look at you!” Kailee gives me a look over from head to toe and goes in for a hug. “Knew it was you when I saw those broad shoulders and that bird’s nest. You haven’t changed your hair since school,” she adds with a chuckle.
“You haven’t changed much, either. In a good way,” I say, matching her cheerful energy. Only when she steps away from me do I notice she’s pregnant. Not as heavily as Sam, but the bump is definitely there.
“Always a flirt,” Hannah notes, looking up from her phone.
The women let out a cascade of playful laughter.
“I remember you always saying you would never settle.” Raising my brow, I glance over the hood of the pram to be met with the wide, blue eyes of the baby within. I expected it to be sleeping, but it focuses on me right away, cooing and flapping its arms and legs with excitement.
“Oooh, he likes you,” Kailee says, sounding like it’s an unusual occurrence. The women give me looks of admiration, as if I had done something. She reaches for the baby, pulling him out of the pram with a quiet huff. She rests him on her arm and rocks him a bit, giving him time to adjust. “I remember you saying the same,” Kailee notes with a smirk, glancing toward Sam.
I turn to him, then back to her with my mouth half open, ready to clear the awkward misunderstanding, but Sam chuckles. “Did he now?” he asks, narrowing his eyes with a crooked smile.
My heart hiccups. He didn’t correct her. He’s…he’s letting her think we’re together. That his child is mine. The realization makes my cheeks burn and my knees weak.
“This is little Yosef. His Mamma is very good at getting Mommy to change her mind on many things, isn’t she?” Kailee tickles the baby, making him giggle adorably. “Yes, she is. She is!”
Huh! Kailee was only interested in guys in school. Then again, that was a while ago, and a person hardly knows themselves properly in high school. It’s a little surprising nonetheless.
Everyone gravitates toward the adorable tan baby with fat cheeks and peach fuzz for hair. His infectious laughter puts a wide grin on everybody in the vicinity. Including Sam. When I glance at him, he’s standing there, hand resting on his belly, gaze fixed on Yosef with a thoughtful expression.
I wonder if he’s worried or excited. Probably both.
“You want to hold him?” Kailee asks.
“What? Me? Oh, I’m not… I don’t know,” I mutter, quickly putting my hands up. She’s already thrusting him into my arms and, by god, he smells lovely. Like freshly washed sheets and sunshine and…okay, maybe a little like vomit, too, but he has that baby smell. The smell of innocence and a blissful, simple existence without a single worry weighing on his mind.
Yosef babbles at me, studying my face with intent, or as much intent a few-month-old infant can have.
“Hi,” I say softly, putting my finger up toward his puffy cheek. He lets me poke it before he grabs it, his entire hand barely wrapping around it.
So small. Sam’s baby will be smaller than this when she’s born. I’m not sure I’ll be able to handle that. She’s definitely going to be even cuter than Yosef is.
“Ghaa!” he yells, startling me.
Kailee and the others burst out laughing.
“Would you look at that? He’s smitten with you.”
“Nothing new there.” The lighthearted comment comes from the back of the group.
They all hum knowingly, almost in unison. I try to ignore my warming cheeks and focus on gently rocking Yosef at the hip. I don’t want Sam to get the idea that I was the kind of person who went around with everyone, even though…I was pretty ‘busy’ back then.
I’m grateful when the talk turns toward other topics. We update each other on how things are going—our jobs, big life events since graduating, and all that. Sam stays quiet in the back as the ladies prattle on, so I twist my waist to him with the baby while also trying to pay attention to the conversation.
He meets the baby’s curious gaze, smiling. “Hey, little guy.”
Yosef stretches out his hand to him, and Sam takes it, motioning up and down as if he’s greeting him with a handshake. “You’re a cutie, aren’t you?” he asks and looks up at me, something brewing behind his eyes.
The baby of the woman I didn’t recognize starts fussing. “I think she’s tired. It’s past her nap time.”
“Ah, we should probably go then,” Kailee blurts.
I give Yosef back with a smile. He might be warm and cuddly, but we’ve wasted enough time. “Same here. Sam’s been on his feet for too long. Need to make sure he gets his rest.”
Kailee holds our gaze, briefly smiling in the flirtatious way she used to when she’d stand in the classroom door, signaling for me to go out with her and make out by the toilets. “Of course. A good alpha takes care of his omega. I always knew you had it in you. Still as sweet, only in a more mature way now.” She puts Yosef in the pram, clicking her tongue at him when he groans in disagreement. “It was nice seeing you, Theo. Sam. Good luck to you two.”
“You too.”
She holds her hand over her small bump. “Thank you.”
We say our goodbyes to the rest and are finally free to continue to the car. “I’m so sorry I made you stand there like that,” I say while I put the shopping in the trunk.
Sam chuckles. “It’s not a big deal. You make it up to me by cooking the food, alright?”
The car journey is quiet. Not awkwardly so, but I can’t help glancing at Sam, trying to detect any doubts or regrets. After a few minutes, he loses his patience with me and speaks.
“You never wanted kids, huh?”
I tap my foot. “Not really. Well, not that I didn’t want to, it just…never appealed to me. I never had that drive or that image for my future.”
“Me neither,” Sam says while watching the road. “And yet you keep talking about baby stuff every time we’re together. Honestly, you seem to care more than me sometimes,” he adds with an amused expression.
“Do I?”
“You do.”
“Well, it’s just—”
“Always telling me how big she is. Asking me if I bought this, that, and the other. Warning me about the safety concerns of various toys and bassinets. Making sure I eat the right things. You’ve probably read more pregnancy and baby books than I have.”
When his eyes land on me, I feel a surge of weird embarrassment. Like when Pop noticed me teasing my first crush and gave me a wink. “I just want to be ready,” I want to say. But the implication of that is way too presumptuous. It makes it seem as if I’m expecting to be around when the baby arrives. As if I’m presuming Sam would allow me. It’s all I want, even knowing he doesn’t owe me that.
“I read a few,” I say softly, suppressing a smile.
Sam seems fine with it. With me being a lot. With us.
So, I allow myself to believe that maybe my dream of being here when the baby comes and staying in his life—in their lives—might actually come true.
We arrive outside his apartment. Compared to last time, it almost looks like an entirely different place. My memory of that day is dark and fuzzy, dominated by the harshness of the pouring rain and, most of all, Sam’s fear-soured pheromones. Right now, the air’s clear. The sun reflects on his skin in the most beautiful way, and his tender gaze tells me he feels safe.
“My god,” he blurts out sharply while grabbing his stomach.
I tense up, twisting toward him. “What is it?!”
Sam laughs before I go into full-blown panic mode. Undoing his seatbelt, he rests his head back in the seat and shifts to face me. “You worry too much, Theo. She’s just kicking. Boxing. Somersaulting in there or…something,” he mutters, flinching again.
Relaxing my shoulders in relief, I look down.
“I was worried something was wrong,” I mutter, playfully annoyed at his amused expression.
Sam reaches out his hand and grabs mine by the wrist. He unzips his jacket and moves it aside to place my hand on his stomach. I lift my eyes to meet his gaze, drawing in a sharp breath. He’s still smiling. “Ah. There you go.”
There’s a fluid movement, like the rippling of water, followed by a firmer push. Sam exhales deeply, and another gentle kick follows. My mouth falls open in awe. The world goes completely still.
“I can feel her,” I whisper, my heart swelling.
The way Sam’s hand rests over mine changes, from a simple hold to a tender caress. “She can recognize your voice, you know? You’ve probably already read about that.” I’m too mesmerized to move or even look up from his stomach when he says that. “She’s usually calmer when you’re around. Aside from now, apparently.”
All that was in my life before Sam now feels wrong. Me never thinking about kids feels wrong. This? This feels right. This feels like everything. Like the whole universe and all that the world has to offer, compressed into a perfect little package—me, him, and this little baby I want to protect.
With tears prickling in my eyes, I look up. Sam’s waiting for me, sucking in his bottom lip pensively.
“Kiss me,” he breathes out the words, sounding uncharacteristically needy and small.
I oblige without hesitation. I pull him closer by his nape and pour all my longing into the way our lips move together, deepening the kiss until the breaths mingling between us grow too hungry and the urge in me to touch him everywhere close to unbearable.
Sam lets out a trembling exhale, swooping the string of saliva at the corner of his mouth with his tongue like he relishes the taste of it. And oh, the scent of our combined pheromones is making me feel things, too.
His gaze is heavy with lust when he finally meets my eyes. A spark of uncertainty shines through.
“Only company,” I reassure him, my voice steadfast, while I wind down my breaths and focus on tapering my scent. “Nothing more.”
“I’m sorry,” Sam whispers, his attention trailing off to somewhere by his feet. “I didn’t… I didn’t do this to tease you. Or tempt and frustrate you, or to—”
“I know.” I brush my finger over his cheek and the stubble there that I’d love to, one day, rub my face against and lick and kiss. “I already gave you my word. You made yourself clear, Sam.”
He pulls away and scoffs, making me wonder if I did or said anything wrong. “God, you’re just so…” When he looks at me again, a frustrated frown on his face, it quickly becomes obvious that he’s not angry with me, but himself. Or the situation? I can’t quite tell. His expression softens as soon as he meets my eyes. It softens so much it turns scarily intimate. Vulnerable.
