Thorns That Bloom (Venusverse), page 30
His omega. Mhm, I don’t like how powerful a response rocks through me at hearing those words. Even if it’s powerful in a rather pleasant way.
“Sorry.” I lean toward him with a whisper.
“Alright, everybody!” A melodic voice floats in from the open door. Rachel, the midwife who’s been teaching the classes, swoops in with the same amount of pleasantly charged attitude as always. Even she, with her bright blue eyes, fixates on Theo briefly while passing by us, though her judgment is much better hidden, camouflaged by a polite, not-entirely-genuine smile.
“We’re all present? Wonderful.” She claps her hands together and prepares her little table with brochures, printouts, and little books.
I tiptoe my fingers toward Theo’s hand resting over his thigh and wrap my fingers around his. He still looks worried about what others think of him, but quickly smiles, and thankfully, everyone else gets distracted by the beginning of the lesson shortly after.
“Alrighty, folks! Today, we’re going to be focusing on recapping everything we’ve learned, and reviewing your birth plans. There will be plenty of time for questions, too. I want you all to leave prepared, confident, and looking forward to meeting your little ones.”
Theo listens, barely paying attention to me, as Rachel goes through the signs of labor, what to do, and when to go to the hospital, and reminds us of the breathing techniques. He finally gives me a painful wince and a tight squeeze of my hand when we go through pain management.
The newborn care talk makes me uneasy, like it always does. I still don’t feel quite ready. Though I know I’m not the only one, since plenty of more open and brave individuals from the group voice their concerns, I just can’t get it into my head that I’m an adult with an actual human being on the way who will be completely dependent on me for every single thing. There will be a person in my life, forever, tied to me and relying on me for love and care and wisdom.
How does that even make sense? How does anyone do it?
Almost as if Theo can read my thoughts, he leans in closer, nudging my shoulder. I look at him, and the faint scent of his spiced coconut aroma instantly puts me at ease. “Are you in pain? You look like you’re in pain,” he says, knowing damn well I’m furrowing my brows and biting at the inside of my lip because I’m nervous. “You’ll be fine,” he whispers into my ear, running his hands up and down my arms reassuringly.
I hesitantly smile and look away, feeling the baby stir.
It isn’t until Rachel starts going through the more intense, explicit realities that await me, like the specific birthing positions, risks, emotional well-being, and especially the aftercare, like dealing with changes after the birth, bleeding, managing pain, and postpartum mental health, that I realize how intimate having another person with me actually is.
Theo hangs on her every word, nodding with his lips parted, emotions flashing behind his eyes. I swear, if he’d brought paper and a pen, he’d be taking notes.
As Rachel goes on about warning signs of postpartum depression and anxiety—something we’ve already gone through in previous lessons, but I somehow blocked out because of the stress it caused me to even consider it—and the need for a partner’s support while managing a newborn, I shift my gaze to Theo.
I’m imagining him in all those scenarios, and they’re not as terrifying as they were before. Before, I was alone. And I could’ve done it alone, as many do, but…
“What would you say would be a good way to support your partner in this time, physically and emotionally? How have you been supporting each other throughout the pregnancy and leading up to birth, and how will you continue during and in those difficult first few weeks?” Rachel asks to start a discussion. Hands go up before she even finishes the sentence.
“Stepping up at home without having to be asked.”
“That’s a great suggestion. Though…you should be doing that either way,” Rachel says with a playful wink, earning her a little chuckle from the group.
The man who asked rounds his shoulder a bit, but gets patted on the head by his boyfriend.
The more people throw out suggestions, the more it seems like they’re trying to win some sort of game of who’s a better, more caring partner. Theo and I stay quiet. His pensive gaze makes me wonder what’s going on inside his head.
“Yes, communication is key. Especially in those first few weeks. Things might get rather intense, and emotions will be high, so communication is going to be essential,” Rachel says, elaborating on another suggestion.
When she takes a breath and glances around the room, her eyes eventually land on Theo. “Any other ideas?” she asks, clearly hinting at him.
We both freeze. I’ve always said my partner was busy when she asked me in the past, too embarrassed to explain or just admit I had no one. And Rachel was always very protective of all her students. I guess her professional decency only goes so far when she thinks someone is being neglected.
Theo blinks and swallows nervously, looking up at her like he’s a child getting scolded. Everyone else is watching him, too.
“Um…staying calm is important, I think,” he says carefully. I almost want to take him into my arms and protect him from this unfair persecution that I caused. “Staying calm for your loved one, in any situation. Being the one to help get them through anything, not just…not just because I’m his alpha, but because…that’s the drive you should have. Whatever happens, make sure they know you’re there, and that it’s going to be alright.”
Rachel raises her brow while a quiet hum of tentative agreement buzzes through the room.
“A calm presence can make a world of difference, indeed,” she finally says, and I get the feeling that Theo is off the hook. She glances at me briefly, eyes soft, as if to say she thinks I will be okay, before turning her attention to the group and continuing. “But it’s natural to feel nervous, too. The breathing exercises we’ve talked about are a great way to stay calm and grounded.”
Her words fade away in my mind as I look down at Theo’s hand holding mine.
He’s always done that, hasn’t he? Been a force of patient, steady, unbreakable support for me. I don’t know if he realizes how much I appreciate it.
With me feeling more and more mushy inside, we move to other topics. Eventually, my least favorite part of the lesson comes up—practicing breathing exercises, delivery techniques, and relaxation. Before, this hands-on bit always brought anxiety. I had nobody with me, so I had to settle on either Rachel briefly playing that role, with that pitying expression in her eyes, or another pregnant, lonely stranger.
This time, though, I have Theo with me. His warm body so close, his steady breaths near my ear, and his firm hands all bring a deep sense of security.
I sit on the bouncy medicine ball, rocking softly, with Theo behind me, when Rachel finishes catching up with the couple on the other side of the circle and comes back to the center.
“Now, we’re going to do my favorite exercise! And I think you’re going to enjoy it quite a lot, too,” she says excitedly. “Alright, partners, gently lift your significant other’s belly, cradling it at the bottom, and hold the weight of it for them. Pregnant darlings, breathe out and relish for as long as you want. When you release the belly again, please do it slowly!”
I glance back at Theo. His questioning expression, that damned adorable quirked eyebrow, makes me smile.
“You can do it,” I say and lean back, resting comfortably against his chest. With his hot, slow breath hitting the side of my cheek from behind, Theo wraps his hands around me, sliding them down the sides of my belly.
Gently, like I’m a peach he doesn’t want to bruise, he scoops my bump up just as I let out a deep exhale, and by god and everything that’s holy, it’s fucking incredible.
“Fuck,” I murmur, one of many groans and cries of relief sounding through the room. All that pressure and strain…gone. Letting go completely, I hang my head back, resting it in the dip between Theo’s neck and shoulder. His laughter rumbles through his chest and against my back.
I breathe in and out freely, not understanding how I could’ve gotten used to dragging so much weight around and how good it feels for someone to carry that burden for me, even if for a moment.
As I open my eyes slowly, I meet Theo’s tender gaze. He’s looking down at me, studying me like I’m something precious. He’s so close I could kiss him. So very close in every conceivable way.
Molten desire twists at the bottom of my stomach. It makes me squirm, like it’s an itch that needs to be scratched.
I’m well aware of my pheromones seeping out, and I am completely unable and unwilling to rein them in right now. Theo breathes them in through his open mouth, eyes growing heavy with the same burning need. The scent of spiced coconut envelops me, and it’s like I never want it to go away. It feels exactly how it’s supposed to.
When he blinks and gently releases my stomach, I close my eyes sharply. It’s almost like being woken from a dream with a bucket of cold water.
Steadying my breath, I try to get myself together. The betas in the room probably have no idea what was going on, but the venus present might sense us and find it not entirely appropriate. Though, as I look around, it doesn’t seem to be only us getting swept up in the intimacy of the exercise…
I adjust my shirt and fan myself, suddenly uncomfortably hot. When I turn to check on Theo sitting behind me, I find him resting his hands in his lap, awkwardly and rather obviously—at least to me—hiding evidence of what my loss of control did to him. His neck and cheeks are tinged with a lovely, soft shade of red, and his eyes are shyly fixed to the floor.
Rachel ends the lesson with some last pieces of advice and invites those who’d like to come to her and ask any further, perhaps more private or embarrassing questions. Theo and I take the opportunity to leave, as do some of the other couples.
The itch deep inside me doesn’t go away.
Chapter 24
Sam
The ride to Theo’s house is a little awkward at the beginning. Theo’s quiet. Uncharacteristically so. “The midwife was nice,” he finally says when we’re getting close to the destination on my car’s navigation screen. “When I ignore the fact that she thought I’m some horrible, neglectful partner.”
I smirk. “She didn’t.”
“Oh, she did.”
“After she saw how much you paid attention, she smiled at you.”
Theo raises an eyebrow. “She did?”
“Explains why you didn’t notice, doesn’t it? You were focused on what she was saying.” Besides the last touchy portion, Theo barely paid attention to me. Every time Rachel would open her mouth, I’d see Theo get his mental notepad ready and take notes, nodding intently like a good little pupil.
“Of course I was. It was informative and interesting. But it wasn’t super focused on male omegas,” he remarks, doing that thing he does with his lips when deep in thought, puckering them slightly to the side.
“I know. There weren’t really many options for that when I looked. The hospital is pretty experienced with male omega births, though, so I don’t worry about that.”
“You shouldn’t. You’ll be okay. Rachel said that male omegas with wider hips don’t struggle as much at birth.”
Flashing him a playfully offended scowl, I snort. “You’re saying I have big hips?”
Theo smiles back. There’s still that adorable sense of insecurity behind his eyes, like after we had that moment, or when everyone glared at him. “You have perfect hips. For childbearing, I mean,” he says, facing away quickly.
I get this feeling that I’m not the only one still experiencing that desire from earlier twisting and prodding inside. Theo will do what he can to hide it and push it away, I know he will, but this time…I’m not sure I want him to.
“That’s it,” he says, realizing we’re already at the destination. The house Theo rents his room in is one of the four in a tight row. A typical townhouse with a few stone steps, an ornate front door, and a small balcony on the first floor. The area seems nice enough. Not too busy, but still well kept and close to the center on foot.
I park, and before I manage to get out, Theo’s somehow outside my door, giving me his hand to help me out. I let him, because getting in and out of the car stopped being fun a few weeks ago.
“You walk to work all the way from here?” I ask, somewhere between horrified and impressed.
Theo goes up in front of me to unlock the door. “I’m a fast walker, and I enjoy it, so it’s not that bad. It clears my head. Helps me prepare for the day.”
“I’m spoiled by having a car, I think. I’ve always had one ever since I was eighteen.” The more I say, the more I realize that Theo doesn’t really know that much about me. And I want him to know more. Every embarrassing aspect of my past. Every nonsensical little detail. And I want to know all those things about him, too.
He holds the door open for me, theatrically showing me in. The inside is airy and surprisingly clean, considering there are three people living here. When I used to live with roommates in my early twenties, it was always a chaotic, stressful mess. Clearly, at least someone in this house is responsible.
“I never felt it necessary to get a license or to have a car living here. Yeah, it’s definitely handy, but I can always get where I want on foot or by bus. Or train. I like train rides. They’re relaxing. Now that we’re having— I mean, with the baby, it could be helpful to get a car, so you don’t have to drive me places, and so that I could help if you…needed it.” As he walks in front of me, mumbling and rubbing the back of his head, I smile at his desperate attempt to hide his nervousness. Unfortunately for him, I know him well enough already. When his mouth starts going, it means his mind is racing, too.
“This place is nice,” I say, glancing up toward the high ceiling.
“Oh, yeah.” He stops, turning to me with his hands held behind his back.
We’re in the living room now, and instead of the clashing tastes or overcrowding I’d expect, it’s light and open. There’s a massive sofa in front of the TV and two built-in bookshelves to the sides, mostly filled with movies by the looks of it. The floorboards have character; they look original and well taken care of. One wall is exposed brick with a few stylish, minimalist posters on it, and there are small plants dotted randomly in the space.
“The house belonged to this old couple before their grandkids started renting it out. Martin was here first. He’s an omega,” Theo points out inconspicuously, and I wonder if it’s to make it clear to me that he’s safe to be around. If Martin and Theo can live together, heats and ruts and all, there’s no reason for me to worry. And I don’t. “He works as an architect in the city. He’s out today. I think he was kind enough to grant us some privacy. Let’s just say he can be a little…annoying, sometimes. Often. Not in a ‘horrible roommate’ way, more in a ‘not everyone’s cup of tea’ way. And he knows that about himself,” Theo notes with a chuckle.
So that’s the faint, barely noticeable scent I’m detecting.
“Then there’s Enya. She’s a chef, but to be honest, it’s almost like she doesn’t even live here. I swear, she works like twenty-five hours a day, seven days a week. I don’t know how she survives. It’s great having her as a roommate, though—she cleans up after herself, never has anyone over, and brings a bunch of leftovers from her job, so that’s always a bonus.”
With his introductory speech over, we end up standing at the bottom of the stairs that presumably lead to the bedrooms. Theo shifts on his feet, awkwardly playing with his hand.
“Do you…want me to start working on the food now?” Theo asks, with slight tension behind his words.
Swallowing the lump forming in my throat, I take a step toward him. Theo’s eyes widen. I can almost see his pupils dilate. My body’s all hot again. Hot and sweaty and needy.
That itch really isn’t going away; it’s only getting stronger, and for the first time in so long, I let myself want someone else to scratch it. Someone very, very specific. The only person I could imagine being the one to do it.
I lean even closer, tentatively brushing my fingers over Theo’s hand, now hanging limply by his side. He shivers under the touch, puffing out a gust of air into my face.
“The way you held me in the class…really got me fired up, you know?” I whisper and watch the mouthwatering way his cheeks turn red. His breath comes in short, tense intervals. As his gaze falls down to my lips, he swallows hard, the ball in his throat bobbing seductively underneath his skin.
He finally responds, carefully wrapping his fingers into mine, but that’s all he does… aside from his pheromones bubbling under the surface. I sense the heat, the ravenous energy barely contained inside him, and I want him to let it out.
But this is Theo. Against all odds and the natural chemistry undeniably pulling us together, he’s holding back, diligently waiting for my say.
“I’m not sure how I’m going to react,” I admit, voice slightly uneasy as the pressure mounts within me, too.
There’s no sugarcoating this. No matter how much I want him.
I brush my index finger over his jaw, feeling the fresh stubble—as light and blond as the ends of his hair—and take in the beautiful way his entire body quivers under it. “I don’t want this to lead to disappointment. I was going to try to ignore this, push it aside, but I also… I want to be intimate with you.” The last words come out of me with a strange shiver. Like it’s been something a part of me was fighting, or some magical barrier I just disrupted.
I look down with hesitation.
“I only want what you’re ready for, but…I feel the same. You know that. I felt it earlier. I feel it every time I touch you,” Theo whispers, pushing his hips forward to thrust against me gently.
A tense moan comes out of me, quiet and small.
“I want this. I do.”
