Collective Identity, page 21
part #4 of Commitment Series
Cat leaned over the kitchen table and took Billie's chin in her hand, forcing their eyes to make contact. "Our grandmothers, love. Our grandmothers," she said, causing a grin to spread across Billie's face as she nodded her head.
Billie placed a gentle kiss on Cat's mouth then suddenly frowned. “Cat, where are the kids?"
"They're downstairs watching Dr. Dolittle," Cat answered.
"Dr. Dolittle? With Rex Harrison? That's my favorite!" Billie jumped up from the table and ran toward the basement stairs. She turned back and looked at Cat. "Ah, Cat, can...," she began.
"Yes, love, I'll make you some popcorn! I'll be down in a few minutes." She watched Billie disappear through the basement door. "Kids today!" she exclaimed while pulling the popcorn out of the cupboard.
* * *
Billie called in an unscheduled vacation day the next morning, opting instead to cuddle a while longer in bed with her wife.
"Cat, it's Friday. Why don't you call in a day off as well? We'll have a relaxing three-day weekend," Billie suggested, pulling Cat closer she was nearly laying completely on top of her.
"I can't, sweetheart. It's too short notice to find a replacement," she said. "However, I have only one surgery scheduled for nine a.m., so I don't need to be in until eight, and barring complications, I should be free to leave by noon," she said.
"Will Doc be at the hospital or in his office this morning?" Billie asked. She leaned her head to the side to give Cat better access to her neck.
"Hospital," Cat said.
"Good, I'll go in with you this morning and have the tests done there. Seeing that I can't drive, it'll work out well that way."
"Good plan."
Billie looked at the clock and saw that it was nearly six. She kissed the top of Cat's head and said, "Love, we need to get up and shower. We still have to get the kids ready for school."
By seven, they were showered and dressed and urging the children to finish dressing so they could eat breakfast at a somewhat leisurely pace. Since Billie couldn't cook worth a damn, she was relegated to lunch duty, making ham sandwiches, and filling lunch bags with pudding cups and apples, while Cat threw together bacon, scrambled eggs and toast. Soon, dressed, fed, and armed with school bags, the kids headed to the end of the driveway to wait for the bus, the adults right behind them.
Just as she was pulled the kitchen door closed behind them, the phone rang. Billie swore under her breath and motioned to Cat that she'd only be a moment, and raced to reach the phone before the caller hung up.
"Hello?" she said into the receiver.
"Good Morning, Billie," Alex's voice said clearly from the other end.
"Grams!" Billie exclaimed, out of breath.
"Billie, you aren't havin' another seizure are you? You sound out of breath," Alex said worriedly.
"Grams, I ran in from outdoors to catch the phone before you hung up. No, I'm not having another seizure," Billie answered.
"That's good dear. Look, I'm calling to let you know that Josie and I have a lunch date with Governor Hubbard today. I intend to make it clear to him that his cooperation is key to future campaign contributions. In fact, I'm even thinkin' of donatin' enough money to build a youth center, named after him," she explained. "What do you think?"
"I think you are an evil woman, Grams," Billie said, mirth filling her voice.
"Thank you, dear. I knew you would approve. I know you're probably on your way out, so I'll give y'all a call later to let you know how things turned out, okay?" Alex said.
"Okay, Grams. Good luck, and Grams, I love you, and Grandma Jo too. You know that don't you?" Billie asked.
"I do know, love. We love you too, very much. I'll call you later this afternoon. Bye."
Chapter 22
Billie spent the morning undergoing a barrage of blood tests while Cat was in surgery. After sufficient fussing over the bruise on her temple, Doc invited her back to his office when the tests were done. Opening the door, he motioned for her to enter before him.
"Have a seat," he said. "How about a cup of coffee?" he asked.
"Doc, you're a man after my own heart," Billie replied. "Please. I'm just about due for a fix anyway."
Doc popped a coffee pod into the machine and brewed a cup for Billie. "So, Billie, tell me, how are things with you and Caitlain?" he asked as he handed the coffee to her.
"Things are wonderful, thanks for asking," Billie said. "We're a little overwhelmed right now with the search for my mother, but we seem to be holding up under the strain," Billie commented.
"Well, young lady," Doc said, leaning across his desk toward her. "Caitlain may be holding up under the strain, but you are not."
Billie narrowed her eyes. "What do you mean?" she asked.
"Billie, one of the things that can bring on an epileptic seizure, is extreme stress. Considering that your condition has been well under control with your current level of medication for about a year, the probability that this attack was stress related is pretty high. You need to either end this search of yours, or you need to deal with the stress better. Tell me, have you been to the gym lately?" he asked.
Billie looked guiltily at the cup in her hands. "Well, no, not as much as I should, I guess. This search has been pretty time-consuming," she admitted. "I run most mornings, but then, it's the end of the day when I'm stressed out. Maybe I should change the time of my workout," Billie suggested.
"No, I wouldn't change it," Doc said. "I mean, if you're running every morning now and still having seizures, then changing the time that you're running may not be enough. I would suggest adding a work out at the end of the day, even something as simple as power walking or stationary cycling," he suggested. "If stress is indeed the cause of the seizure, you either need to remove the source of the stress, which by the way is my first recommendation, or, you need to find a way to work off the stress before it affects you physically."
Billie shook her head. "I can't quit the search now, Doc. You know we're very close to finding Alexandra's daughter. We have the name of the agency that took her, and in about one hour," Billie said, looking at her watch, "Alex and Jo will attempt to gain access to the sealed records on the adoption through the governor of South Carolina."
Doc smiled and sat back in his chair. "Well, if anyone can charm the pants off the governor of South Carolina, it's Alex," he said. "I hope she reins Jo in before the meeting, though. When Josephine Wycliffe is on a roll, there's no stopping her. I'd hate to see a tirade on Jo's part ruin Alex's chances with the governor,” he said before rising to his feet and brewing a second cup of coffee for himself.
“Do tell,” Billie prompted, intuitively knowing there was an entertaining story behind Doc’s words.
* * *
Cat found Billie in her father's office after her postoperative debriefing. She pushed the door open and walked in to find Billie holding her stomach, laughing heartily. She stopped in the doorway. "What's up?"
Billie was still chuckling. "Hi, love. Your father was filling me in on the legend of Josephine Wycliffe," she said.
Cat walked to her father's desk and sat on the corner of it. "That grandmother of mine is certainly a character," she said.
"That she is, kitten. That she is. How did surgery go?" Doc asked.
"Very well. No complications. The patient stayed relatively stable throughout the operation," Cat replied.
"Good. Well, if you ladies will excuse me, I have a lunch date with your Mother, and knowing her, she'll kill me if I'm late. I'll see you and the kids tomorrow then?" he asked, looking at Billie.
"Tomorrow, it is, Doc," Billie said, noting the questioning expression on Cat's face.
Doc kissed both ladies on the cheek before excusing himself. After he left, Cat looked at Billie. "Tomorrow?" she asked.
"Your dad invited us over for a cookout. What could I say? I didn't think we had other plans. Do we?" Billie asked sheepishly.
Cat smiled. "No we don't. It just surprised me, that's all. So, want to get some lunch?" she asked.
"Sure," Billie said, looking nervously at her watch.
"What is it, Billie?" Cat asked, seeing the gesture.
"Nothing, really. It's just that Alex and Jo are meeting with the governor just about now. I hope he cooperates," Billie replied.
Cat grinned. She locked arms with Billie and led her toward the door. "Now who could possibly resist the charm of Alexandra Spirakis and the boldness of Josephine Wycliffe?” she asked between chuckles.
"Who, indeed?" Billie replied as they left for lunch.
* * *
After a leisurely lunch, Cat and Billie returned home, intent on spending a few intimate hours together before the children came home from school. Cat walked into the kitchen, threw her keys on the table and kicked her shoes off into the corner by the closet. Purely by habit, she walked over to the refrigerator and reached for the handle. Billie was there, her hand against the door, holding it closed before Cat could open it.
Cat found herself trapped against the refrigerator door, looking into Billie's eyes. She saw a smoldering fire burning deep within their blue depths.
Billie placed her right hand around Cat's neck and pushed her head against the refrigerator door and lowered her lips to Cat's. Several passionate moments later, both women were breathless from the intensity of the exchange. Billie bent over and placed an arm under Cat's legs, lifting her off the floor and bodily carrying her into the living room. Not wanting to waste the time and energy climbing the stairs, Billie headed for the overstuffed couch, laying Cat down, and then herself on top of her. More passionate kisses followed. Soon, Billie worked her way from Cat's mouth to her throat, and across her collar bones. Cat's head was thrown back into the cushion and her breath came in frantic pants, as Billie reached up to unbutton her shirt.
Just as Billie released the last button on Cat's shirt, the phone rang. Billie raised her head and looked at Cat, wavering between answering and ignoring the rings. Moments passed, their eyes remaining locked as two, then three, then four rings pealed out. Finally, the answering machine picked up the phone. Billie smiled and lowered her mouth once more to Cat's lips.
Suddenly, the sound of Alex's frantic voice came across the speaker on the answering machine, causing an instant pause once more in their lovemaking as both women listened to the message. "Sweethearts, we did it! We did it! The governor graciously allowed us access to my daughter's adoption records. We have a name, Billie! We have a name! Give me a call when you get home, okay? We'll talk to..." Alex's voice rang out.
Billie was on her feet in a flash and grabbed the phone before Alex hung up. "Grams! It's Billie. No, everything's fine. Cat and I were just, ah...a little tied up. No, it's all right," Billie said into the phone as Cat sat back up, smiling at her wife's discomfort while she buttoned her shirt.
"You said you had a name?" Billie asked. She picked up the pen by the phone and wrote down the information dictated to her by Alex.
"Okay. Okay, Howard and Julia McGuire. I think I've got it. All right. Grams, I'm going to call Jimmy as soon as I hang up to see if there's anything he can do for us today, otherwise it will be Monday at the earliest before we know anything. Yes, I know, it will be a long weekend, but Grams, it's been a long fifty-five years. I promise I'll find out as fast as I can. I'll call you as soon as we know something, okay? All right. We love you and Jo too. I'll talk to you later. Bye."
Billie hung up the phone and looked at Cat. Cat was curled up on the couch with her arm thrown over the back, looking at Billie with anticipation on her face.
"Cat, we have the name of her adoptive parents, Howard and Julia McGuire," she choked out before the tears came. Cat rose from the couch and approached Billie and wrapped her arms around her.
"Shhh, it's okay, love. Calm down. That's it, relax," she said as Billie's trembling slowed. "Now, call Jimmy and give him the information, then I want you to relax and take a nap, okay? I'll stay with you until the kids get home," Cat suggested.
Moments after placing the phone call to Jimmy, Cat and Billie were in bed, wrapped in each other's arms, Billie's head on Cat's shoulder, while Cat repeatedly rubbed the arm Billie had thrown over her chest. Billie was soon sleeping, consumed by emotional exhaustion. Cat looked at the ceiling, praying to any god that would listen that this woman was indeed Billie's mother. She dreaded the disappointment that would surely follow if it turned out not to be the case.
* * *
The phone rang as the Charland family sat down to supper.
"I'll get it," Billie said. She had been edgy all afternoon, anxiously awaiting a phone call from Jimmy. "Hello?" she said into the receiver.
"Hi Missy, this is Jimmy. I've got the information you were looking for."
Billie's knees suddenly became weak as she reached her hand out against the wall for support. Cat was on her feet immediately, going to Billie's side to place an arm around her waist. Billie's arm went around Cat's shoulder for balance. Cat looked back over her shoulder to the table, where the three children were watching them with concern etched on their faces.
"Is Mom all right?" Seth asked nervously.
"She's fine honey," Cat said, "Bring a chair over here for Mom, will you, sweetie? Billie, let me take this," she said, taking the receiver out of her wife's hand as Seth pushed the chair in behind Billie's knees.
"Thanks, hon," she said to her son as he stepped back a pace, unsure of how serious the situation was.
"Jimmy, this is Cat. Could you hold on for a minute please? Thanks."
Cat looked at Billie, who was sitting in the chair staring blankly ahead, then looked back at Seth. "Sweetheart, Mom's okay, I promise. She's just a little overwhelmed right now with the search to find her mother. Do you understand? Please don't worry, okay?" Cat finished.
Seth nodded his head and went back to sit at the table, just staring at his supper. Skylar was whimpering lightly while Tara stood by her side, rubbing her back, eyes wide with worry at her mother's strange behavior.
Cat looked at the children and then down at Billie, who was still sitting there staring straight ahead. She raised the receiver to her ear once more and spoke to Jimmy.
"I'm sorry to keep you waiting, Jimmy, but Billie's a bit overwhelmed right now. Why don't you give me the information and I'll see that she gets it, okay?"
Minutes later, she hung up the phone and knelt down on the floor in front of Billie. She placed her hand on the side of Billie's face and softly called out her name. Billie blinked and focused on Cat, clearly confused.
Billie looked at the worried expressions on the children's faces, then looked back again at Cat. "Cat, what happened?"
"You had a petit mal seizure, Billie," Cat said angrily.
"I did?" Billie responded.
"Yes, you did. Damn it Billie! This mission you're on is getting to be way too much for you," Cat said in a raised voice, before remembering their audience of three just a few feet away.
"Damn," Cat said under her breath. "Look, Billie, we can talk about this later, okay? Right now, we need to finish dinner," Cat said, helping Billie to her feet and leading her to the table, still somewhat in a stupor. She then went to comfort the girls who were still tense with worry.
Billie sat down and looked around the table at three long faces. "Hey, what are the sour pusses for?" she said, forcing a smile to lighten the mood.
One by one, the worried expressions started to lift, and soon the supper table turned into its usual sounding board for the day's events, the only notable difference being, the looks of concern and frustration that flew back and forth across the table between the two adults.
* * *
Billie sat up in bed, her back resting against the headboard as she watched an angry Cat pace back and forth across the room.
Cat struggled with herself over whether or not to tell Billie about Jimmy's phone call–a call she obviously did not remember taking place. Finally, she decided to wait until Sunday to tell her. This would give her at least one day to relax and enjoy the cookout her father had planned. Cat stopped pacing and stood at the foot of the bed.
Billie looked down at her hands in her lap while Cat paced. She knew she was in trouble. Doc had warned her to take it easy, and according to Cat, she worked herself into a state when the phone rang, and fell into another seizure.
I really need to learn how to deal with extra stress or I'll be walking on eggshells for the rest of her life. My whole livelihood was at stake here. Being a lawyer was by definition, a stressful job, she thought.
Finally, she made a decision. "Cat, I want to start seeing Dr. O'Brien again," she said.
Cat's brow knit together in confusion. "Why?" she asked.
"Cat, honey, I know you think this search is what's causing the seizures, but in reality, it's the stress brought on by the search. It's the stress doing it, not the search itself. If I can't learn to deal with stress better, this is going to happen every time I get upset about something. I really think I need to see Dr. O'Brien again," Billie explained.
Cat stood there, her arms crossed in front of her. "All right, Billie. Give her a call Monday morning and set it up. I'll go with you, if you'd like."
Billie nodded her acceptance and looked back down at her hands.
Cat stood there, trying very hard to stay angry with her, but failed miserably. The heart-stricken look on Billie's face at the moment was tearing her to shreds. She crawled onto the bed next to her and pulled Billie's head down into her lap. For the next several minutes, she stroked back Billie's hair and hummed an old lullaby Ida used to sing to her as a child. Soon, Billie was sleeping peacefully. Cat slid down onto the bed beside Billie and reached over to turn out the light. Moments later, both women were walking in the dreamscape.
