Malachi, page 24
I removed the shirt I’d had on, making an even bigger mess on the floor. Anxious to shower and wash the itchiness of my skin away, I made a promise to clean it up after. It could all wait. For the moment, I needed to clear my head and there was no better way than a shower since Aeir wasn’t around for me to fall into her pussy until I felt better.
The water’s temperature changed as I twisted the thermostat. Once it was at a decent degree, I stepped out of my shorts and discarded them. Thanks to a loose cable in the yard, they were split down the side. Their days had come to an end, though they’d served me well over the last two years.
I stepped into the steam, allowing the water to massage my skin. The warmth was inviting, suggesting I release all I was holding onto before I left its confinement. I agreed for the most part, closing my eyes and resting my hands against the shower wall. Anna’s pretty face appeared behind my lids.
“Mal,” she whispered, cupping my chin and smiling widely.
“Anna, my love,” I choked out.
“Hi.”
“I miss you, every day.”
“But I’m here. I’ll always be here.”
“I met a girl,” I admitted. “But my love for you will never change.”
“I know, Malachi. And it doesn’t have to.”
“She’s so fucking amazing, Anna. She’s so patient. She’s so kind. She’s gentle. She’s considerate. She’s a homemaker. She believes in me and I hardly believe in my-damn-self. She’s just—”
“I know. I know. I know.”
She wrapped her arms around me, rubbing circles around my back as I wept in her bosom.
“I don’t want to forget you.”
“You won’t. You can’t. She won’t let you and neither will our daughter.”
“I still love you.”
“Your heart is big enough for the both of us. You’ll always love me. I’ll always love you, but I’m ready to rest now. I’m tired, Malachi.”
Confused by her words, I called out to her for understanding.
“Ann—”
Before I was able to finish, her grip loosened and she evaporated into thin air. I opened my eyes, blinking away the tears that blended with the water.
I wasn’t finished, I thought, grabbing the towel and bottle of body wash to scrub my skin.
Lost in my head, I managed to shower, clean the bathroom, and make a quick sandwich to ease the hunger pains I was beginning to feel. I sat at the table with a glass of squeezed watermelon and strawberry juice to wash down the bread and veggies I’d stacked my sandwich with.
The sound of my phone ringing in the distance stopped me from taking the first bite, slightly aggravating me because starvation seemed possible at any second, though I knew that revelation was untrue. Fortunately, the phone was in reaching distance, making it easy for me to maintain my position and pull it over in my direction.
Portland’s name sat on the screen. I contemplated answering his call, but knew I couldn’t let it ring. He was one of the few who would simply call again.
“Yeah?”
The speaker was activated. I needed my hands free so I could hold on to my sandwich and finally fight the roaring of my stomach.
“I’m in the area. I’m pulling up on you.”
“Portland. This isn’t an area anyone frequents unless they own property in these parts.”
“Maybe you’re right. I cleared my schedule for a few hours to check in and that’s what I’m going to do. Be there in less than ten minutes.”
It took nearly eight minutes to get across my land to reach me. Telling me when he was only ten minutes out meant he was likely already in my neck of the woods. He’d only put in a courtesy call to let me know he’d arrived.
I waited for the line to die, busying myself with the food in front of me. For the first time in a while, I didn’t give a damn about him or anyone I loved visiting. As long as the visits were short and kept at a minimum, I’d survive.
The minutes ticked away as I finished my sandwich and fresh juice. I made my way out of the door and onto the porch just as Portland’s new toy pulled up. The pitch black Bentley truck was sweet.
“Pheeeeeeeeew,” I whistled as he stepped out.
“Fuck this set of wheels, homie, who has awakened the beast from hibernation?”
He slapped his hand against mine four times before pulling me in for a hug.
“It’s really fucking nice to see you’re looking much better, man.”
“Yeah, I’ve been hiding underneath it all, but there are brighter days ahead.”
“There are. You have no idea how much I’ve prayed for the day to hear you say anything even remotely close to that. The last two years have been hard, my nigga. Watching you go through and not being able to do anything to bring you out of that place.”
“I already know, but I appreciate you for sticking around.”
“Of course. I hope I’m not pushing it when I tell you to hop in the driver’s seat and let’s hit the nearest establishments that has never-ending drinks and something I can put on my stomach really quick.”
“I’m not drinking, Portland. That shit turns me into a monster. I’m cool for a few months, but I got the perfect spot for you, dog, and I don’t mind driving.”
“Good enough.”
“How long are you in town?”
“For the next few hours. I’m shipping this thing back home and I’m getting out of here, too.”
“In and out.”
“In and out.”
While he walked around to get into the passenger seat, I slid into the driver’s seat. The crimson-colored interior was sickening. From the large dash to the custom floor mats, I was feeling his new whip. Pulling out of the yard, across the open land, and onto the road was a breeze.
“A clean, smooth ride, too, huh?”
Nodding, I agreed with his observation. Jay Z pierced my ears. His lyrics from “Black Effect” garnered a few head nods and synchronization every other second. As we pulled into Ranking, a brunch spot that was closer to the city, but not too far from home, I recognized the olive G-Wagon immediately.
“Damn, that motherfucker sweet. Almost reminds me of the joint you copped Anna.”
“Probably because I copped that one, too,” I shared, shutting off the engine and stepping out of the SUV.
“You copped what?” Portland questioned, rounding his whip with the quickness.
“That Wagon.”
“For who?”
“You’re about to meet her.”
“I knew this nigga hadn’t cut off that fucking forest for shit,” he whispered, walking into the establishment behind me.
I didn’t have to search for her. I could feel her. My heart led me right to the table where Aeir and Jae sat, discussing the very thing I was going to avoid discussing with Portland.
“It still freaks me out, Jae, but I enjoy seeing their life together. It shows me that true love ex… Ma-Malachi,” she stammered.
“Aeir. Jae.”
“You’re out… again,” she emphasized with a nervous chuckle.
“Again,” I confirmed, taking a seat across from her. “This is Portland. Portland, this is Aeir and Jae.”
“Baby,” she squealed, finally taking note of my altered appearance. “Your… your hair. Malachiiiiiii.”
Filled with utter gratification, I grabbed her free hand and brought it to my side of the table. I leaned forward and rested her palm against my face. Gently, she brushed it against the smoothness. Shortly after, her finger tips replaced it as she followed along my hairline.
“Baby, oh my God.”
“I take it as you like it.”
“I do. I love it.”
I love y—the thought ceased as quickly as it had sparked. Closing my eyes, I shook off the dizziness it caused.
“It was time to shake back.”
“Okaaaay,” Jae added. “The comeback is always the best part. I wish you nothing but the best on your journey.”
She lifted her drink in the air. “Cheers to you, Malachi.”
“Jae, is that right?” Portland inquired.
“Yes. Portland, correct?”
“Yeah. Portland.”
He’d been deemed speechless from the moment we walked up on the two girls and it wasn’t solely due to Aeir’s presence in my life or her resemblance to Anna. It was because of the woman sitting across from him. His interest was apparent, but his current situation wouldn’t allow him to go beyond that point or cross any lines.
“Nice to meet you, Portland.”
“What are you drinking? I’m going to get you another one and order myself something, too.”
“My drinks and food are already paid for. Thanks Malachi,” she said with a wink, “But, my number is free for now. The offer will run out soon.”
“In that case, can I take it and redeem my coupon when life isn’t as complicated as it is at the moment?”
“Sure, but I can’t guarantee the prize will still be available at the time of redemption.”
“Understood.”
Shaking my head, I decided to mind my own business and not get tangled up in theirs. Aeir’s eyes were still fixated on me. Her initial shock hadn’t worn off. She hadn’t batted or blinked or broke contact in over a minute.
“Baby.” I swiped my hand in front of her, forcing her to snap out of the trance she was in.
“Yes?”
“Did you enjoy shopping?”
“Yes. A bit draining, but I did. I’ll need your help unloading. I managed to get everything else I needed for the classroom as well, so the trip into the city was very beneficial.”
“Good. Good.”
“Are you going to order? We just got our food just before you walked in but I’m not all that hungry.”
“Nah. I’m good. I’ve eaten. I brought Portland through to grab a drink, but it doesn’t seem like he needs my company anymore.”
“I don’t,” he exclaimed, “If you’re trying to ditch me and crawl back to your cave, I understand. I think Jae has a few more drinks to put on that tab.”
“We just met and it feels like you know me so well already,” she joked, holding the center of her chest. “I’m flattered.”
“You ready, or you care to stay?”
“She all but begged to go home and make food rather than come here. Please, take her.”
“Noooo. It’s fine. It’ll just reduce the time we have together. I’m not ready for you to go.”
“My flight isn’t for another three hours, babe. By the time you get home and settled, I’ll be headed that way.”
“I’ll make sure of it,” Portland added.
“Okay. It was nice meeting you again,” Aeir whined, standing up from her seat reluctantly. When I grabbed her hand, she hurried into my embrace.
“Baby, we can stay if it makes you feel better.” I looked into her big, glossy eyes to make sure she understood.
“It’s fine. I’m just a little tired.”
“Where are your keys?”
“In my purse,” she informed me, lifting it for me to see.
I took it into my possession and allowed the strap to fall near my waist. When I leaned down and scooped Aeir into my arms, she yelped, a nervous laugh escaping her.
“Malachi, I could’ve walked.”
“Not when you’re tired. I got you. Just quiet down and enjoy the view.”
“The view?”
“Me,” I sniggered.
She settled down, quieting and taking my advice. I got her into the passenger seat and strapped her in. On the way to the driver’s side, there was only one thing on my mind and that was how God had a way of stripping me of everything before giving me even more.
Thank You, big homie.
THIRTEEN
Blood filled my mouth, but did little to convince me to let go of the skin of my bottom lip. The day had come and in just a few minutes, I’d be meeting the girl of my dreams. I couldn’t contain myself. The pacing was the only thing that kept me from succumbing to the nausea that wanted me paralyzed and unable to move.
“You’re going to burn a hole through your shoe if you don’t take a seat, baby.”
“I can’t.”
“Can you at least try?”
“I can’t.”
Staring out of the window, I waited for Anna’s parents to deliver the very special package. Aussie’s drop off had been postponed by a full hour, but I hadn’t left the spot I was in since the delay was acknowledged.
“They should pull up soon. Would you like a cup of lavender and chamomile tea to soothe the anxiety that’s brewing?”
Absolutely nothing ruffled my feathers, but I couldn’t get myself under control. The foreign emotions that surfaced at the thought of seeing her precious face and hearing her voice left me undone.
“No thanks. I think I’ll be fine.”
“I don’t know, baby. You look like you’re going to barf at any minute.”
“Really?”
“Yes. Come ’er.”
Malachi invited me closer, stretching his arms to accommodate me. I lowered my bottom onto his legs and rested my head on his chest.
“What’s the matter? Why are you so uptight? Hmm? I’ve never seen you this shaken.”
“What if she doesn’t like me?”
My concerns were valid and they were extremely fearful.
“Aussie is going to love you, Aeir. You’ve got yourself worked up for nothing.”
The sound of slamming doors stole our attention. I snapped back into reality. It was a shame how lost in Malachi I often was. This time, I didn’t have that luxury.
“She’s here.”
“Oh God, Malachi.”
“You want to come to the door and greet her?”
“No. I’ll stay here. Anna’s parents—”
“Would be ecstatic to meet you.”
“I’m sure. I’m just not ready to face my mo—meet them.”
“You don’t have to. I’ll be back in a few, okay?”
“Okay.”
I stood up, allowing him to pass me by after grabbing my face and kissing the top of my forehead.
“Be right back.”
I ran over to the window where I had a clear view of everything going on in front of the house. Tearfully, I watched Anna’s mother hand off Aussie’s bag. The hollowness of her existence was evident in her eyes and every move she made. Closing my eyes, I searched for happier moments of her life, ones that included Anna and the life they shared.
Nothing surfaced, leaving me conflicted and unable to connect with the stranger outside. I waited patiently for Aussie’s small frame to appear, but hearing her voice in the distance suspended the mounting anticipation. Malachi already had her in his hands and they were already inside. I watched as Anna’s mother and father piled into their car and took off down the pathway.
“Close them. Close them. Close them.”
“Daddy, you’ve said it so much.”
“Okay, because I want to make sure they're closed, Aussie. If not, the surprise won’t be a surprise.”
“Okay. Promise.”
I cowered, wanting to crawl into my skin and hide until it was safe to come out again. Malachi’s footsteps got closer and closer, making the lump in my stomach swell more and more. Quick breaths and sweaty fingers made it feel impossible to catch myself from falling off the invisible cliff I was hanging onto by a thread.
Just when I felt the oxygen leave my body and my balance waver, long, curly hair crossed the threshold, filling my empty lungs to capacity. Gasping, I removed a bubble of air from the space around me and pushed it down my throat. Precious brown skin and rosy cheeks kept me grounded and from falling flat on my face.
Oh God, she’s gorgeous. And she’s all mine.
For the time it felt like she and Anna spent away from one another, I began to weep. For the times she needed her mother and Anna wasn’t by her side, I wept. For the life she’d lived without Anna, I wept. For the nights she stayed up thinking of Anna, I wept. For the loneliness she must’ve felt as Malachi drowned in his own sorrows, I wept. For the life she would’ve had if nothing ever happened to Anna, I wept.
“Open them!”
She removed her tiny hands from her face, showcasing those big eyes I’d seen a hundred times.
“Aeir, meet Aussie. Aussie, meet Aeir.”
“Mommmmy!” The deep, heart-shifting scream that mounted and built with the sound of each letter left me eviscerated. She emptied me of everything I had except the inexplicable love I immediately harbored for her. Tears fell from her cheeks as she wiggled her way out of her father’s arms, crying uncontrollably.
Kneeling, I spread my arms and waited for her embrace. She attached her body to me, wrapping those arms around me until her hands joined behind me. For dear life, she held on, as if I’d let her go. She sobbed into my chest, crying her little heart out. I weakened, falling a few inches until my butt landed on the floor.
The wall behind me held us both up as I rocked Aussie from side to side, allowing her to release the pent-up emotions she’d suppressed in Anna’s absence. Twenty minutes elapsed before she finally pulled away and began trying to clean the mess she’d made of her face.
“Mommy,” she said, touching my face, making sure I was real.
“I’m Aeir, Aussie. My name is Aeir. I’m not—”
“Mommy.” She quieted me by saying it again, wrapping her arms around my neck and burying her head between my shoulder and the side of my face.
Somehow, my heart told me she understood I wasn’t Mommy, but she needed me to be Mommy in the moment. I refused to hurt her feelings or tell her anything differently a second time, so for now, we’d go with whatever made her hurt less. She clung to me. I could feel her heart racing against my chest. I squeezed her body tighter, knowing it was all she wanted and all she needed.
I looked up to find Malachi swiping at his eyes. Unable to contain himself, he turned and walked in the other direction. I understood his position. It was as complicated as mine, but we’d do whatever necessary for Aussie’s mental and emotional health, even if that meant agreeing to be Mommy for now.
“Hey, hey. Let’s dry these tears, okay?”
“Okay.” She cried, still unable to control the big emotions and bigger feelings she was having.
