Dark Layers (Volume 3), page 7
"Fine, well at least text him. Don't just leave him in the dark to wonder where you are - that's childish."
"Derek!" I snap.
"No Anile, no one else will ever tell you how it is. You are either going to make your relationship work or you are going to keep running. I would suggest running but I know how you love him. Stop with the silent treatment and tell the damn bloke you will speak with him tomorrow!" He scolds.
"Fine." I moan.
An Italian waiter appears with his notepad in hand. “Would you two like to order some food?”
We both peer up at him. “Are you hungry Derek?” I ask.
“Not really Sweets. I should be heading back; I have left a lot of work so I could meet you early.”
“No thank you, Sir.” I address the waiter.
He leaves with a displeased expression but I don't give it much thought.
"Can you not put work off until tomorrow?" I ask in a pout.
"Anile, you know I would do anything for you, but unless it's a life or death situation, it has to wait."
I roll my eyes at him. "Okay." I say childishly.
“Do you need a lift home?” Derek asks.
“Do you have a car now?” I squeak in excitement.
“I sure do. I brought it last week; a nice little Golf, silver and loaded with extras. I have tons of clients; work has really taken off Sweets.”
I smile fondly. “I’m so happy for you Derek.”
“Thanks, Anile."
A thought springs to mind, "should you even be driving? We have been drinking all afternoon."
"I will be fine, I haven't had anything the last hour, and I feel fine."
"Derek, you have ago at me when you think I am doing wrong, now I'm telling you off. You should not drink and drive." I grab his hand over the table.
"Okay, okay. I'll grab a taxi. Listen, I have to go if I am to wait for a taxi, but call me later yeah?”
“Okay, I will.”
We rise to our feet and hug with absolution. I sense worry from him by how tense his hug is – I’ll be sure to call him regularly so he doesn’t worry.
Once Derek has left, I polish off my wine. The wine is crisp and fruity, it literally slides down my throat perfectly. I cast my mind over Derek and my conversation; is it really that bad that I’m choosing to stick by Elijah? I cannot see why, but maybe my judgement is clouded by my feelings for him.
I shake my head to try and snap out of my stupor.
“Sir,” I call over to the waiter, “could I have the bill please?”
“Your partner paid the bill, Miss.”
“He’s not -” I close my eyes and inhale sharply, “thank you.” I say, ignoring my instinct to tell him Derek is not my boyfriend.
I gather myself and head outside. The evening is cold and grey – the sky is covered in thick dark clouds. I quickly button up my suit jacket and hail down a taxi. I jump into the taxi and head home feeling conflicted.
I'M IN A COMPLETE DAZE and don’t even register getting the lift up to my apartment. I get inside and immediately fall into my sofa. I peer around my living area while feeling mentally home. I'm so grateful that Elijah has allowed me to stay here, not many people are this fortunate.
As I gaze over into my kitchen, I clearly see it’s messy. The black granite worktops are covered in cups and plates and food packets - I need to do some house work.
"Ugh, here goes." I moan.
I pull my sorry arse up off of the sofa, lose my suit jacket and start cleaning - firstly by hoovering all the wooden floors; the living area, kitchen, my bedroom and en-suite, the spare bedroom and guest bathroom. I next polish all my ornaments that my mother brought for me when I was a teenager – mostly crystal unicorns; I smile fondly. They are decorating the floating shelves that surround my wall mounted T.V. I next polish the Victorian Sash windows and finish my belt of cleaning in the kitchen. I polish all the cupboard doors to perfection while inhaling the clean smell of lemon polish. I bleach the countertops and scrub hard. Once everything is clean and fresh smelling, I bin all the flowers Elijah had Jezebel order me. I have to wash up fourteen vases which takes forever!
Once finished, I fall back into my sofa and switch on the television – I’m sort of board but appreciative that I can enjoy this evening of normal. It’s nine at night so the T.V is full of movies. It’s a clear tossup between Wuthering Heights with Ralph Fiennes or Indecent Proposal with Demi Moore.
“Hmmm, what to watch? Wuthering Heights or Indecent Proposal?” I mutter to myself with the remote pressed against my chin.
“I think you should watch Indecent Proposal, Princess.”
I literally fall off of the sofa and my knees smash against the carpet that's spread beneath the sofa. I'm on all fours. I peer up to find Elijah leaning against the framework of the archway into my living area. My hair is all in my face and I have lost all account on how to move!
“What the hell are you doing here?” I gasp.
“You look good on all fours.” He says in an alluring deep voice. His eyes are smouldering and focused.
Stay cool Anile! You must resist the Serpent!
This prompts me to get to my feet. I brush my hair out of my face and stand tall.
“Elijah, what are you doing here? Was my ignorance not clear enough for you?”
“Yes,” he crosses one arm over his chest and rubs his chin with his other hand, ordering his long fingers to slide effortlessly across his now stubbly chin, “why are you ignoring me?”
His eyes command me to answer him - they are too fucking intense!
“Um, giving me that case today was too much Elijah – what is your agenda? And you having a key is still a problem. I am meant to give you a key to my apartment when I am ready – that is what normal couples do.”
“There is no agenda Anile - I writ that clear enough for you to read.” He arches a perfect eyebrow at me.
“Your idea of clear has hidden meanings that only the ultra-smart can figure out.”
“I am impressed that you see that," he smiles proudly, "but I promise, I had no agenda today. You cannot work at Darks Lawyers and do nothing. That case came up and I thought it suited you and your expertise.”
“Maybe I don’t want to work at Darks Lawyers anymore!” I sneer while standing with my hands firmly on my hips.
He pouts his beautiful pink lips. “That is fine with me, I’ll take care of you.”
I squint my eyes in frustration. “Why are you here?”
“Because I miss you.”
I immediately sag. One kind word from him and I’m putty. My tummy fills with heat; my chest opens to allow butterflies to endlessly flutter free.
I *sigh*. “Elijah, I really need a night on my own, a night with only my own company. You must understand that, or at least feel that way sometimes.”
He shakes his head firmly. “Nope, I always want to be with you Princess, but if you want me to leave, I will leave.”
“If you don’t mind. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
He doesn’t say another word, he buttons up his blue suit jacket, turns on his heel and leaves with the hump – I think.
I sit on the edge of my sofa and wonder what the hell is wrong with me – I’m all over the bloody place!
“Anile.” I hear Elijah whisper.
I peer up to find his lagoon blue eyes gazing down at me.
“I thought you were leaving?” I say softly. I don't want to be nasty to him, I need to stop my bitching.
“I really do not want to go, can I stay with you for a while? I promise, no questions and no trouble.”
Oh God, how the bloody hell can I say no to that face? I am weak, frail like an old woman when it comes to his potency, his flu.
“You can if you want to. I was going to watch a film, do you –“
He cuts me off swiftly. “Indecent Proposal?” He smiles warmly.
“Get comfy.” I say with my hand held out urging him to sit next to me.
“Have you eaten?” He asks.
I frown and realize I haven’t eaten all day. My tummy suddenly growls on cue.
“No, are you hungry?”
“I am.”
“I don’t have any food in. Do you fancy a takeaway?”
“Sounds good to me, Princess.”
I quickly grab my phone off of the carpet.
“What do you like?” I ask.
How strange is it that we have already been through so much together in such a short period of time and I don’t even know what takeaway he likes.
“Chinese, Indian? I don't mind.”
He removes his jacket and his shiny black shoes and gently seats himself next to me. He pulls his legs up onto the sofa and stretches them out. He tucks a pillow underneath his arm to support himself and looks unbelievably comfortable. I smile while shaking my head.
“What?” He asks confused.
“You, you are just -” I *sigh* heavily, “never mind. Indian it is. Masala with rice, poppadoms and mango chutney, and peshwari naan?”
“Sounds good.”
I order our food and once I put the phone down, I catch Elijah staring right at me. He looks haunted; his eyes are hooded and dark; his lips are ajar.
“What’s wrong?” I ask while frowning.
“Anile, when you leave like that and do not answer my phone calls, I feel like you are leaving me, I feel like you may never come back. That’s why I call you hundreds of times and track you down – I just get scared.”
His eyes never leave mine while he's telling me this. I know he's being serious and I feel bloody awful for causing his torturous pain.
I bite my lips in question and wonder how I can make him feel… better.
“Look, you are all I want, all I need – I have no idea how I will ever make you believe that. Just because I leave work abruptly or I ignore your calls, it does not mean I don’t want you – it means I need a break.” I say tenderly.
His eyes widen, he’s shocked by my answer and I’m not quite sure he knows what to say.
“But you leaving like that is not normal, and you ignoring me is not normal.”
“What is normal for us? Huh? Nothing we do is normal Elijah.” I gasp.
He lowers his head and knots his fingers together – no matter how many times I see him vulnerable, this strange invasive feeling is always new to me. I literally feel like someone has their hand in my chest and they are intentionally probing my heart, pulling at my strings.
I don’t allow him to answer me, I lay down next to him – this is the only way I know I can make him feel safe. He snakes his arm underneath me, wrapping it around the back of my neck. He tenderly kisses my temple three times; his lips are warm and full. I unknowingly bite down on my lower lip because I am desperate to feel his lips on mine. He nozzles my hair and I hear him inhale my scent. The heat from his pheromone drug is in full force, slowly infecting me - it fills my system to the point of overflowing. I turn to face him, tucking myself between his arm and chest. I sharply inhale his scent and try to think of only the good between us.
“You just mean so much to me Anile.” He whispers into my ear; his breath is warm, sensual.
"You mean everything to me too, Elijah." I breathe.
I take his hand that’s hanging over my shoulder and entwine our fingers together. My eyes feel so heavy that I shut them for a while – I’ll open them when our food arrives.
Chapter Five
I WAKE TO MY vibrating I Phone stuck to my cheek. I’m still on my sofa with absolutely no account of last night – until I think hard. I lift my aching head and peer around my apartment; our takeaway is neatly bagged on the countertop in the open planned kitchen and the TV is still running, but there is no Elijah.
“Elijah?” I call out. “Elijah.”
I repeat calling him several more times but he’s definitely not here. I look at my phone and see it’s seven a.m. Fuck me I slept all of last night away! And I didn’t even eat my food – and I have three missed calls from Sophie. Ugh! I sit up straight while rubbing my swollen sleepy eyes. I squint my eyes as I gaze out of my living area windows; it's so sunny outside and hopefully warm. I need a good day, warm weather and an easy Elijah.
I unlock my I Phone screen and call Sophie back.
“Anile?”
“Hey Sophie, is everything okay?”
“Yes, um, are you still mad?” She says in a weak voice.
I release my head and lean back against the soft cream cushions. I pull my legs up and lay curled in a small ball with my phone between my raised shoulder and cheek.
“No, all is forgotten.”
“Are you sure? Because I really don’t want to fall out. I am really sorry that I brought Roman back to your place.” She's full of sympathy and sorry's and although I should still be mad at her, I have bigger problems to worry about than Perses.
“Sophie, don’t worry, it’s water under the bridge. What do you want?”
“I just wanted to see how you are? How are things with you - with Elijah?”
“Things are fine – challenging, but fine. How are you?” I say in a daze - I need a coffee, fast.
“So, are things going okay with you two or is it still hassling?”
“Things are… things are moving along, but he’s so unusual with what he does sometimes.”
“What do you mean?”
I like that she’s my best friend and I know I can tell her anything – Derek is my ultimate soul mate but sometimes I need a girl’s perspective.
“Well, we tend to be playing games to figure one another out but Elijah keeps taking things too far-“ I reel off everything that has happened between us; thank God it’s her phone bill and not mine that’s being ringed up!
“I see, huh.” She breathes.
“Well?” I sneer.
I didn’t give her all that information for an answer I could have given myself! Dumb and Dumber, ugh!
“He sounds, hmmm, challenging for sure. Maybe you should dig a little.”
“What do you mean?” Now she has my attention.
“I don’t know, try to find out some information on him from his ex’s, his family, his brother-Castor?”
How the hell does she know Castor?
“How on earth do you know about his brother?” I frown – something feels off.
“I do read the papers Anile.” She says quickly.
“Oh, yes, sorry. Yes, maybe you’re right, I should do some digging. I’ll let you know if I find anything.” I laugh a little to lighten the mood.
“Okay Honey, I have to go - I was just quickly calling to make sure we are okay. I’ll speak to you later, yes?”
“Yes, sure thing.”
We hang up in sync and all I can now think about is food; I am starving! I make my way to the kitchen but there is nothing in. I close my eyes while standing in the warm sun that is shining through my kitchen window – hmmm, this is nice, waking up alone and being able to indulge in the beautiful spring weather. My momentarily appreciation of normality is short lived, I need to get ready for work, I’ll grab some food on the way.
I shower in record time and dress in a nice black suit with a knee height pencil skirt. I leave my perfect wavy hair down - it's again formed into submission and I know it has something to do with my body being in love. I quickly down a nice refreshing coffee, grab my awful brown suitcase and head out for work.
I ARRIVE AT Darks Lawyers a little late. I had to stop off and grab something to eat and London is busy – too busy - the streets are full of mixed cultures – I think a festival or something is arriving this week.
I step through the clear revolving doors with a greasy bacon sandwich hanging out of my mouth - hmmm, the ketchup is so nice and tangy on my tongue.
"Hi, Miss Gooden." One of the security guards greets me.
I raise my hand and try to smile to greet him. He laughs a little - I must look flipping amazing with a sandwich hanging out of my mouth! I shake my head at the mental image.
I’m suddenly stopped in my tracks by loud ear piercing music that's filling the vast white lobby; Joan Armatrading – The Weakness In Me. Oh my God! I quickly take a hold of my sandwich and remove it from my mouth. I peer around in shock. There is a huge projector above the cubicle of lifts with the Joan Armatrading video showing.
All of Darks Lawyers employees - one-hundred percent women - are surrounding me; they are all standing with their backs flush against the white walls and their eyes are locked on me. They are thankfully not dressed in white, they are all in their desired suits. They are gossiping between one and other and pointing stern fingers my way. Damn I feel uncomfortable - like I'm on trial! You can say that again!
“Excuse me Sir.” I tug on a security man’s arm.
“Yes Miss Gooden?” He says tenderly while hunching his warm brown eyes down to my level.
“What is going on?” I ask as I gaze around the lobby once more.
“You have to wait here, Miss.”
“Why?” I frown.
“Mr. Darks personally requested you wait here.”
“Oh, okay. Um, do you have a bin?”
I hold out the remainder of my sandwich - suddenly I don't have an appetite.
"Give that here, Miss Gooden. I'll dispose of it for you." He says sweetly.
"Thank you Sir."
I wrap my sandwich up in a napkin and pass it to him. I grab a plastic white seat from the seating area next to the reception desk. I pull it out a little and take a load off. This is so bizarre – what is Elijah up to? And why, Joan Armatrading?
The song finishes but starts again and now it’s sinking into my subconscious – does he mean I’m the weakness in him or he’s the weakness in me? I allow the song to sink in further so I can truly hear every lyric.
“I’m not the sort of person, who falls, in and quickly out of love, but to you I gave my affection, right from the start - I have a lover, who loves me, how could I break such a heart? Yet still you get my attention - Why do you come here, when you know I’ve got troubles enough? - Why do you call me, when you know I can’t answer the phone? - Make me lie when I don’t want to, and make someone else some kind of an unknowing fool - You make me stay when I know I should not. Are you so strong or is all the weakness in me? – Why do you come here, and pretend to be just passing by? But I mean to see you, and I mean to hold you tightly - Feeling guilty, worried, waking from tormented sleep. This old love has me bound, but the new love cuts deep - If I choose now, I’ll lose out; one of you has to fall. And I need you, and you - Why do you come here, when you know I’ve got troubles enough? - Why do you call me, when you know I can’t answer the phone? - Make me lie when I don’t want to, and make someone else some kind of an unknowing fool - You make me stay when I know I should not. Are you so strong or is all the weakness in me? – Why do you come here, and pretend to be just passing by? But I mean to see you, and I mean to hold you tightly."
