Dark Layers (Volume 3), page 23
“Yes, and?” I snap.
I try to breathe but I cannot. Air just will not fill my lungs. He takes both my hands in his and holds them tightly.
“Princess, you are having an ectopic pregnancy.”
I frown because I just don’t understand what that means.
“Okay, I thought you were going to tell me something bad.” I breathe a *sigh* of relief. I nod my head in appreciation that nothing else bad has happened.
“Anile, do you know what an ectopic pregnancy is?” He continues to sob.
“No, what is it? Extra gas? Lack of iron?” I ask in confusion. My father is heavily on my mind. “I have to go and see my father, this can wait.”
“Anile, he’s not here – he’s dead.”
“You don’t know that.” I say. “I have to see him for myself, I want to see his body – I am allowed, I am his next of king after Scarlet. And he divorced her, so it all falls to me.”
I try to get up but Elijah grabs my arms in a frenzy, forcing me to stay put on the bed.
“Anile, sit down!” He snaps.
“No, let me go!” I scream. I break free of his grip. “I need to see my father.”
“Anile, I cannot help but tell you this way. You are not listening, you seem delusional.”
“I am not delusional!” I shout. “I want to see my father, what’s wrong with that?”
“Anile, our baby is growing outside of your womb. It will not survive.” He cries.
I stop myself from getting up from the bed. I blink rapidly while Elijah falls to the floor in pools of tears.
“What do you mean? Who told you that?” I ask calmly.
He doesn't look up at me, he thrashes a wild hand in the air. “The doctor. He said you need an operation to remove the egg so you can survive.”
“Huh.” I breathe.
Until Volume 4
Keep turning the pages
to get a sneak peek into Volume 4
CONTINUED
THE WIZARD RAISED the basket on his back and went away with it, but it weighed him down so heavily that the perspiration streamed from his face. Then he sat down and wanted to rest awhile, but immediately one of the girls in the basket cried, "I am looking through my little window, and I see that thou art resting. Wilt thou go on at once?" He thought it was his bride who was calling that to him; and got up on his legs again. Once more he was going to sit down, but instantly she cried, "I am looking through my little window, and I see that thou art resting. Wilt thou go on directly?" And whenever he stood still, she cried this, and then he was forced to go onwards, until at last, groaning and out of breath, he took the basket with the gold and the two maidens into their parents' house. At home, however, the bride prepared the marriage-feast, and sent invitations to the friends of the wizard. Then she took a skull with grinning teeth, put some ornaments on it and a wreath of flowers, carried it upstairs to the garret-window, and let it look out from thence. When all was ready, she got into a barrel of honey, and then cut the feather-bed open and rolled herself in it, until she looked like a wondrous bird, and no one could recognize her. Then she went out of the house, and on her way she met some of the wedding-guests, who asked,
TO BE CONTINUED
Novels by A L Gray
Dark Layers (Volume 1)
Dark Layers (Volume 2)
Dark Layers (Volume 3)
Dark Layers (Volume 4)
still to come
coming soon
Starting With
AWAKENING
THE ORIGINAL PROPHECY SERIES
Prepare to be possessed by Vampires in 2015.
Erica, a girl who's suffering with the loss of her parents. She remains optimistic that she and her brother - Lucian - can come through this tragic time in their lives together.
She tries to save her brother from his own salvation, but she gets caught in the crossfire of a supernatural would.
Erica is lured into this dark possessing world by a man that is too sinister and dangerous for her, but little does she know, he has an alternative agenda.
Love is an enigma not to be reckoned with and while Erica believes in only one form of love, for her, it comes in many ways to test her soul.
Confused by her feelings for two men, she continually fights with her emotions to do what is right, not only for herself, but for her loved ones.
Will her love ultimately define her fate?
Romantic, funny and shocking tales of events that will keep you hooked and wanting more.
Dark LayersVolume 4
Sneak peek
Chapter One
Anile's Diary
August 25th 2012
The months have turned into weeks, the weeks into days, the days... into minutes. Time has stopped altogether. I am alone again, but only this time, it is final and my only option. I have not spoken to Elijah for… two months no, three months – I think. The pain is too unbearable and I do not want to associate him with my pain. When I am finally ready to go back to him, I want him to be the good, the happiness and the beginning again. I need him to be the beginning, it’s the only thing that’s keeping me going, it's all I have left.
I didn’t attend my father’s funeral, I couldn’t, I just couldn’t manage it because I believe I was cursed and that it was all my fault. So much bad stuff happened to me that I couldn’t handle anything else. Everything just spiralled out of control and it was just cruel, it was too painful. I have never in my life experienced such pain since, not since I saw Jack execute my Mother’s soul.
The worst pain of it all though, was, my baby dying. My baby was 3 months old inside me, I think it would have been a girl, I had a feeling. She would have been born in October 2012, and I would have called her, Honey. I dream about what she would have looked like, I wonder if she would have had my ice blue eyes or Elijah's deep blue lagoons? Would her hair have been raven black or platinum blonde? I think it would have been black, she would have looked like Elijah. She would have been sweet, loved, and happy, she would have been everything I was when I was a child. But now my dream of Honey is lost forever.
As time has slowly moved on, I have somehow managed to bury everything that is dark, I have buried it deep within me and I do not want to ever dig it up. I just hope that I can keep it all locked away and start again. But will I ever truly loose this feeling of loss, grief? I don’t know, but what I do know is that when I finally make my way back to Elijah again, he will help me block out the darkness – he will be my light, the only light. Elijah has not attempted to contact me, not since I told him that if he stays with me throughout the operation, I will connect him with my pain, and that would be it for us. He left willingly, he did not even question my motive, he strangely understood me. I miss him so much, the pain of his absence is in my chest and my tummy and my mind – it lives inside me. I’m sort of ready to see him again – I think.
I have been in the darkness for months – I have not left my apartment, not once. I just cannot bear the sunlight, I cannot bear the thought of life carrying on without my father and my baby. I know most people will think that I am crazy, but I think that's okay, and if I’m truly honest, I don’t care. I needed to grieve this way, I needed to mourn my baby's life, and my father’s. I am still mourning them, but I feel stronger, stronger than I felt yesterday, and I’m sure tomorrow, I will feel even more stronger – I hope.
My phone pings, tearing me away from expressing my pain in my diary. It must be Derek with today’s menu. I roll my eyes at the thought. I don't want food, I cannot eat properly. I *sigh* heavily.
It's dark in my bedroom, the curtains are closed, and the only light illuminates from the low lit, dark green bedside lamp. I push my diary under my pillow and collect my phone from my bedside cabinet. I lay down and snuggle and pull my duvet over my mouth while reading the text message.
From: Elijah
Princess, I had a dream about you last night – you were happy. Your blonde hair was crazy all over the place because you were excited and bouncing everywhere; your cheeks were a perfect shade of pink, and your eyes were electric blue again, alive.
I miss your eyes.
I miss you.
I love you. X
I shoot upright and sit as still as rock against my headboard. Fuck, I think that’s the first time he has ever told me that he loves me! My throat swells and I find it hard to breathe. I grasp my neck. I miss him, so fucking much that I possess the need to breakdown into pools of tears – but I won’t, I won’t allow myself to cry over my own sadness.
To: Elijah
I love you too. X
I'm still sitting motionless, and a burning fear is heating my tummy, a fear of his text message not being real. I read his text again, and again, and again. I pull up his number and double check it is definitely him. It is him - I smile weak. I cradle my phone and jump as the text tone pings again.
From: Elijah
Are you ready? X
To: Elijah
Ready for what? X
From: Elijah
To see me again? I'll understand if you are not. X
To: Elijah
How do you understand? X
I have to know how he understands me so easily, how did he understand to just walk away when I asked him? – how can he know me so accurately? I cast my legs out from beneath my duvet and welcome the cool floor against my soles. I walk out of my bedroom in a daze; this is the first time in weeks that I have left my bedroom. I stop at the archway into the living area and just stare at everything while leaning against the cool, white wooden arch. My home feels empty, I feel nothing here anymore. It's dark everywhere. I gently turn the light switch in the living area and keep it on low. I cough lightly and the sound of my own voice is alien to me, it echoes throughout my apartment - it's so unoccupied. There are no flowers anywhere, no more photos - I took them all down - and no dirty dishes; there is nothing but an uninhabited apartment building. I make my way across the dark wooden flooring, my own body weight feeling hard to carry. I fall into my estranged sofa. It feels… like a stranger, like everything else in my apartment. I want to move from here, as soon as possible.
From: Elijah
I know you better than I know myself. I know you didn’t want me to be a part of your pain, you wanted me around when you were ready to accept life again – I get that. X
To: Elijah
How do you get that? X
I pull a fluffy cushion under my head and cradle my phone while peering over all the empty spaces on my walls, where my family photos once hung. I wonder what my Mother would make of me doing this? Banishing everything that reminds me of anything happy in my home, burning all the photos, binning all the keepsakes she brought me, making myself feel totally alone? I shake my head furiously. She would probably throw me in the bath, clean me, feed me, and then force me to face the outside world, with a promise that she will be by my side when times get hard. I squeeze my eyes shut so tight that they hurt - I miss my Mother, I wish she was here to take care of me.
My phone pings. I pull it from my chest and swipe open the screen lock.
From: Elijah
Because I was once you - when Adriana lost our child.
I was nothing, nothing but a shell of pain. My body wouldn’t function properly. I couldn’t sleep or eat, walk or talk - I couldn’t feel a single thing. All I did feel was emptiness and loneliness and suffering - and all I ever had were tears. X
Reading his message forces tears to the surface, but I fight them back.
"I will not cry, I will not cry!"
I repeat this mantra until the tears subside. I wipe my welling nose with the sleeve of my purple pyjama top and reply to him.
To: Elijah
Do you feel that now? X
It may sound strange to others, but maybe his loss can help me - because he has survived losing a child before - maybe he knows a way out of this pain and suffering? Because I cannot turn this off – I wish there were a switch to turn the dark pain off. I grasp my face in aggravation. If there even was a switch, would I use it?
No, you wouldn’t. You need to feel the loss of your child so you can try to move on from the darkness; once you accept the darkness and let it become a part of you, it will no longer possess you, it will just be a part of you.
From: Elijah
I feel it a thousand times more, but I’m learning to live with it – the worst part about this is I also feel the loss of you. I miss you Anile. And knowing you are still alive in this world without me kills me inside daily. X
I want to tell him how much I miss him, I want to tell him that I need him and that I am now ready for him – but I cannot. Although I said I wouldn't, I try to cry. I squeeze my eyes tighter and push from within my tummy, right up to my nose, but nothing happens. I need to cry, I need to cry because I have hope that if I do, this sad, heaviness in my chest will slowly ease a little.
To: Elijah
Where are you? X
From: Elijah
Outside of your apartment. X
My eyeballs literally spring open and I sit up so quickly that my head spins. What the fuck? He’s outside!
To: Elijah
How long have you been outside? X
From: Elijah
For, 3 months and 6 days. X
To: Elijah
You do not actually expect me to believe that you have been camped outside my place for over 3 months, do you? X
From: Elijah
No, not camped, I stand here for hours and watch your apartment windows. I come here at 9 a.m. then I leave at noon. I come back at 6 p.m. then leave at 11 p.m. I always hope I might see you peer out of your curtains – but they have not moved for months. X
His message makes me smile. He’s been watching me for months with the slightest bit of hope – wow. I close my eyes and think back to the first day I met him. His eyes instantly possessed me; he stood out from everyone. The feeling I got from him was euphoric. I knew I would love him, I just knew it deep down inside.
To: Elijah
Why? Why have you been waiting outside? Why didn’t you ever just come up? X
I quickly get up off of the sofa and sneak over to the window. It’s dark outside but London is lit up like a Christmas tree; all the shops and apartment lights are bright. I peer out of the curtains further and stare down onto the busy street. I try to spot him but I can’t through the crowds of people. I scan up and down the street and desperately try to focus my eyes. My heart stops instantly when I spot him, standing outside of the pharmacy. My hands start to tremble as I pull the curtains open a little more and I drop my phone but don’t try to retrieve it off of the floor. He’s wearing a long black coat – he looks magnificent and stands out from every person. How did I not spot him right away? He gazes up at my apartment window; he catches me watching him. He looks down at his hands – I think he’s typing another message to me. With crazy hands, I collect my phone, fumbling and struggling to unlock the screen.
From: Elijah
I wanted to give you the choice of control. I understand how many loved ones you have lost and how much control you have lost – I will be damned if you cannot control when and where you see me. I told you, and I promised you, I will do everything in my power to take care of you and make you happy. I will always stick to my word when it comes to you, Anile. X
To: Elijah
But you have suffered to and I have been selfish. I should have been there for you. X
From: Elijah
There is still time for you to be here for me. For now, I am okay, and I will be okay, until you return to me. X
I seize my tummy as an aching pain attacks me there.
"Oh God!" I sob.
Tears finally make their way down my face and almost feel like they are burning my skin. I have failed myself, disgustingly failed. He should not have to bury his pain until I am strong enough. This is sad and pathetic of me to think that I could leave him and take care of myself first – I never even gave him a second thought!
To: Elijah
I am sorry. I am so, so, sorry. I should have been there for you. X
From: Elijah
No, don’t you apologise for your sadness. You have had to deal with a lot Anile, and you are still here. That is a miracle on its own. I am okay, I promise, I am just so worried about you. X
To: Elijah
Do you want to come up? X
I want to see him, I’m ready. But I’m again freshly sad and upset and broken at his loneliness. I need him, I need to be there for him – I need him to be here for me! I cannot believe I allowed myself to abandon him – we were both suffering and I took it upon myself to deal with only my own grief. How shameful of me – my Mother would be so ashamed.
From: Elijah
Only if you are ready. I can wait if you need me to, Princess. X
To: Elijah
I am ready. I have been ready for so long, I just never had the strength to call or text you. I’m sorry. X
From: Elijah
Please do not apologise to me, Anile, I cannot take it. I am just happy and relieved that you are ready to see me. I want to be here for you, I want to take care of you like I said I would. X
To: Elijah
We can take care of each other. X
My ThanksI want to thank all my readers. Every time you purchase one of my books you are supporting me - thank you. If it was not for you, there would be no me, and for that I am eternally grateful.
