The Hate Between Us, page 33
I tried a calm approach. “Liam, please let me out.”
“Why do you have to be like them? Why do you all hate me?”
I didn’t know what or who he was talking about, not that I cared. “This isn’t you. Just let me leave.”
His green eyes looked diabolical as he shifted closer to me. “No.”
Bile collected in my throat as his hand landed on my knee and moved toward the apex of my thighs. I tried to remove his hand, but he grabbed my wrist with his other hand, squeezing it so hard I was afraid he would break it. I released a whimper through my teeth.
“Please, don’t do this.”
“Relax. Everything will be just fine. You’ll enjoy it. I promise.”
His hand cupped my crotch, and my stomach turned. I used my free hand to slap him again, but that turned out to be a mistake. His hand moved fast in retaliation, and a sharp pain exploded in my cheek, the force of his slap propelling my head against the passenger-side window.
“I was trying to be good with you, but, no! You had to make this more difficult.”
Tears gathered in my eyes, and through blurry vision I heard a car stopping close by. I opened my mouth to scream, but he produced a knife and placed it straight to my throat before I could let out a sound.
“Keep quiet.”
My eyes widened. No, this couldn’t be happening! No, no, no. I wanted out. I needed to get out.
Please, let that car driver get out. Please let them see what’s going on here. Please, please, please.
Seconds and seconds ticked by, but the car kept idling, and I felt as though I was starting to suffocate with panic. Slowly, the car drove away.
No. I was all on my own.
Liam laughed, the sinister sound ringing in my ears too loudly. He pressed his knife against my skin, and I didn’t dare breathe. “Now it’s just you and me.” He reached for the belt of his jeans and unfastened it. My heart pounded wildly against my ribs as I watched him unzip his jeans and grab his erection. More bile collected in my throat, and I felt as if I would vomit at any second. I couldn’t move. I wanted to move, but I was too afraid.
“What are you doing?”
“You’re going to be a good girl now and take my cock into your mouth.”
I clamped my lips together so I wouldn’t hurl. No, this was all wrong. This wasn’t real. This was a nightmare.
“Please, please, please, don’t do this.” More tears poured out. My heart beat alarmingly fast. “Please, just—”
“Be quiet. It’s going to be alright.”
He cupped the back of my neck and started to bend me forward. I sobbed, “No, please!”
“No, don’t cry. Everything will be just fine. Just take it into your mouth. Nice and easy.”
“No, no, no. Please . . .”
He didn’t listen, bringing me closer and closer to the angry, swollen tip. It looked monstrous and ugly. So ugly. I couldn’t possibly do this. I—
His knife nudged into my side, and I jerked to a stop. “And don’t even think of biting me. If you do, this knife goes directly here.”
I believed him. Oh God, I believed him. I felt like swaying, and I hoped I’d faint, but as he pushed my head the rest of the way down to him, my vision cleared. My lips wrapped around him, and before I could prepare myself, he pushed deep inside my throat.
I gagged, tears pouring out of my eyes. I couldn’t get enough air. No. I’d suffocate!
I pressed my hands against his leg to push myself up, but he pushed my head down, continuing to obstruct my throat. Now I really couldn’t breathe . . .
My vision had started fading when he grabbed my hair and yanked my head up, his eyes glimmering with madness as he studied my face covered with tears and saliva.
This time when he smiled, he didn’t look human. “Beautiful.”
And in that moment, I knew. There was no way I could get out of this. Not if I kept resisting him. Not if I didn’t play his game. I had to go through with this. I had to do this if I wanted this to be over.
I didn’t resist him as he pushed me back down, and this time, I worked him with my mouth and tongue, anything just so he wouldn’t choke me again.
As he released a string of moans, I told myself to distance myself from this. To think about anything else as I kept going. To ignore the disgusting taste and his disgusting sounds. To ignore the terror and pain ricocheting through me. To ignore the feeling of worthlessness filling my whole being.
But as he got closer to the edge, I noticed something. His attention shifted off his knife, and he wasn’t holding it against me anymore. He proved this when he tensed like he would orgasm at any moment and dropped the knife to the floor.
And I knew. It was now or never.
Simultaneously, I bit hard into his dick and punched him in his balls. I yanked away as he roared, and as he reached with his hands for his crotch, I slammed my hand on the lock button. Within a second, I was out of his car and running back the way we’d come as fast as I could, sobbing and blind with tears. I didn’t know where I was going, I just knew I had to get far away from him.
I kept running and running, the streets getting darker and darker, just like my mind.
He’d just—He’d raped me. Liam had raped me.
My stomach curled, and I fought against the chilling images from his car, but they were relentless. They unveiled in front of my eyes like a sick horror movie. My steps turned slower. Disoriented.
He’d used me like a cheap, worthless doll.
I was worthless. Worthless.
Pain burned through me, and I bent, wanting it all out, but it was impossible. It would never go away. After tonight, it would always own me. Mark me. Remind me that my life wasn’t meant for better things. That I didn’t deserve better. Not after this.
My feet took me toward what was supposed to be safety, but my mind took me into total darkness, where there was no safety.
Only pain.
Deep.
Unrelenting.
Endless.
I gulped for air, my eyes snapping open. My heart felt as though it would explode in my chest, and I could barely breathe. My vision was all blurry, and it took me a few seconds of blinking to clear my eyes and remember where I was. To see that Jimmy wasn’t standing opposite me anymore but nearby with his parents, throwing glances at me as they took turns hugging him.
At some point during my flashback, other castmates’ parents had also come in, all of them congratulating their children, and it was a picture of such happiness. It didn’t feel normal compared to what I felt inside.
Liam had raped me. It was because of him that I’d tried to kill myself.
The knowledge was a punch to my gut, and just like that day, vomit climbed up my throat. I was sure I would throw up in front of everyone if I didn’t get away. I needed to leave. I needed to find my parents. I needed to tell them everything.
With abrupt movements, I turned my chair and followed the corridor that led to the side of the theater, fighting not only against the vomit but also my tears.
Until someone stopped my chair from behind and pressed a knife to my throat.
I started to scream, but a hand slammed over my mouth. “Keep quiet, or I’ll use this.”
Liam.
The memory was too fresh, too painful, feeding me with the same fear I’d felt that night. He removed his hand from my mouth, but his knife stayed, my skin prickling where the edge of it rested.
“We’re surrounded by people. You won’t get away with this.”
“Oh, I do intend to get away with this.”
Removing his knife from my neck, he pushed my wheelchair, his steps rapid. I wanted to scream, but I knew he would use his knife before I could even fully let the sound out. All I could hope for was that someone would pop out and put a stop to this.
I shivered when he pushed me outside. I didn’t have a jacket, and my costume offered no protection against the cool temperature. I rubbed my arms, my heart getting louder in my ears as I searched for anyone. My chest expanded with relief when I saw a group of people in the parking lot, but Liam didn’t head that way. No, he headed across the street to another parking area.
There was not a soul, or CCTVs for that matter, in that lot, and I couldn’t help but think he had everything planned out to the last detail. Terror zapped through me when he took me to his car and I saw it was the same car from that night.
My fingers dug into the padded armrests of my chair. Everything in me was against being in that car again, but I didn’t have a choice when he opened the passenger door and pointed his knife at me as an incentive for me to move. My legs were paralyzed. I had even less chance now of escaping than I’d had then.
I knew that once I got in there was no escape, but as my last glance around us offered no results, I grew certain there was no other alternative for me. My tears ran unchecked down my face now, leaving cold patches on my skin that caused me to tremble with each gust of the wind. Swallowing past the obstacle in my throat, I transferred into the passenger seat.
He slammed the door after me and threw my wheelchair into the backseat before he jogged around his car and got inside. He turned on the engine and the heater, but the warm air didn’t help with the cold. The cold ran too deep into me. He put his knife into the holster on his left side, but that didn’t put me at ease. As long as he had a knife, I had no doubt he would use it against me.
“Where are you taking me?”
“You’ll see.”
My fingers twiddled together in my lap, matching the erratic pumping of my heart.
“You didn’t sound surprised when you heard it was me holding a knife to your throat. Did you finally remember? Or did you fake amnesia all this time to play me?”
“Play you? You were the one playing me. You even wished me good luck tonight! Why were you putting on a show? Just . . . why?”
“Wanna hear a story?” he asked conversationally. “At first, I thought you were faking your amnesia. Remember our first meeting in the gym? I was trying to see if you were bullshitting me, so I got closer to you to see if you would show any sign you remembered. I couldn’t have you suddenly deciding to rat me out to someone, right?
“But then I saw you really didn’t remember that night, and an idea popped into my mind. I thought I could use that to get my revenge. I planned for you to fall for me so I could break your heart just like you broke mine, but you just had to go and fall for that guy.” His hands tightened around the steering wheel, the veins in his hands bulging out. “Once again, I couldn’t get you to see me, to love me.”
I pressed my hand against my stomach, nauseated by his admission. He was crazy.
“I lost it then, and I said fuck the previous plan. I tried to end you. I stole the keys to the utility room and shut off the lights in the girls’ locker room.”
“That was you.”
“Yeah. That was me. I wanted to slip into the locker room, but then Adams showed up before I could do it. He spoiled my plan, but that was alright. Because you know what?”
I remained quiet.
“Because I figured out something. You know when a person can be hurt the most? When they’re at their happiest. Just like I was. So, I wanted you to feel like you didn’t have a care in the world, surrounded by your friends and family. I wanted you to feel at the top of the world up on that stage. All that, so I could take it all from you.”
“Wh—”
“Why? Because bitches like you don’t deserve anything. Bitches like Samantha Hawkins. Like my own mother. None of you ever cared about me. None of you ever looked at me and saw my worth. You all just used me in one way or another.”
Oh God. So, he was admitting to being involved in Samantha’s death.
“How did I use you?”
“You used my friendship. Let’s not fool ourselves. Beside your friend Dylan, you didn’t have anyone. I’m sure I was the first guy to ever give you any attention. We could’ve been so good together, but, no, you had to turn your back on me. Just like Samantha.” He snorted a laugh. “You know what that bitch did to me? She fucked me, alright. And kept promising she would leave her boyfriend, but that night? That night the bitch told me we were over. She told me she couldn’t do it anymore. We were already at the lake. I knew what I had to do.”
“You drowned her.”
“I pushed that bitch’s head into the water. She didn’t resist much.”
I clamped my hand over my mouth. The lines of his face in this darkness were too sharp, too sinister. How could I have ever missed that? How could I have missed the monster that lurked behind each blinding smile he’d given me?
He barked a heavy laugh. “And her boyfriend actually warned you about me. Too bad he had nothing to back it up with.”
Oh God. “Liam, I never did anything to you. I thought you were my friend, but you went and . . . and did that to me. If only you’d told me you liked me and didn’t force yourself on me, I—”
“You would’ve what? Don’t fuck with me. You would’ve played around with me. Until you got tired of me. Just like Samantha. Just like my mother, who cares more about her fucking useless boyfriend than me.”
I thought about what he’d said about his mom. Not just earlier but also before. “Liam, I know your mom isn’t the best of moms out there, but maybe there’s more to her. Maybe she cares about you in her own way—”
His slap came before I could even process his hand shifting from the gear stick to my cheek.
“Stop defending her! She’s a sorry excuse for a mother. She never loved me. No one ever loved me!”
Tears pooled in my eyes and spilled out. I raised a trembling hand to my cheek, trying to pull myself as close to the passenger door as I could.
“I thought you were different. You gave me signs that you liked me. You chatted me up on the street that evening. So I took you to dinner.”
What the hell was he talking about? I thought back to the hour before he took me to the diner, and I knew his perspective was all wrong, twisted. My memory was crystal clear now, the puzzle complete. I’d gone out for a walk, and I’d forgotten to take my phone with me. I’d stumbled across Liam close by my house. He was his charming self, convincing me to go to the diner with him. It was all supposed to be on a friendly basis, and I planned to return home shortly after.
That was why no one knew how I’d ended up on the street where Caroline hit me. Why there was nothing on my phone that would account for those hours before the accident.
“What were you doing on that street that night? Were you stalking me?”
The glint in his eyes was confirmation enough, and I pressed my hand against my mouth when nausea roiled in my stomach. He was capable of—My mind reeled with all the information, and I went through each of our encounters, each of his sentences that I hadn’t seen through.
“That story you gave to Mr. Fay about having played basketball with kids in wheelchairs. Was it fake?”
He showed his gums. “This is one of the reasons why I liked you so much. You’re smart. Of course it was fake. It was a way for me to get him to pick me to assist you.”
I shook my head, more tears pouring down my cheeks. “Liam, I never chatted you up or gave you signs that I liked you. I was just friendly to you.”
His mouth set into a hard line. “You gave me signs.”
“No, I didn’t.”
“You did!” He smashed his fist into the side of my seat, and I screamed. “You cunts are all the same, feigning interest! But that ends tonight. I’ll show you that you can’t twist me around your little finger.”
My heart lurched with panic. “What are you going to do?”
“Take a guess.”
I didn’t recognize the neighborhood we were in, but then he took a turn, and the street where Caroline had hit me came into view.
My heart began pumping to a wild rhythm. Initially, I thought he was going to take me to the same alley he’d taken me to that night, but when we passed it and reached a street leading to the lake, I just knew what his plans were for me.
He was going to drown me. Just like Samantha.
“Liam, this isn’t you. Don’t—”
“Don’t what? Don’t give me some speech about how this isn’t me when I just told you I killed that girl. And tonight, I’m going to kill you too.”
I looked around me frantically, noticing he’d started driving on a mostly impassable path around the lake, taking me to the exact place where Samantha’s body had been found.
Panic blocked my airways, and I had to start taking deep breaths before I hyperventilated. There was no way out of this. There was no one here in this area, and the trees were so dense no one would ever know we’d been here. I had no means of calling for help. I was going to die.
Did anyone realize I was missing? Was anyone looking for me?
I hadn’t realized I was sobbing until Liam parked the car and said, “Stop fucking crying. You’re annoying the shit out of me.”
“You won’t get away with this.” I repeated my earlier statement.
“I got away with it once.”
“You won’t be that lucky this time.”
He raised his hand like he was going to hit me again, and I shrunk away, yelping.
“Don’t test my patience, Katie. Keep silent, or I’ll make you regret it.”
It was hard to stay silent when my cries just wanted out. I was shaking partly from cold, and when he opened the door to get out and the cold air rushed inside, it felt like I would freeze to death if Liam didn’t finish me off first.
Moonlight reflected on the surface of the lake a few yards ahead of us. It was strong enough for me to make out our nearest surroundings. The grass and shrubbery were too high and thick here, and there was no way my wheelchair could pass through. Realizing the same thing, Liam didn’t bother to retrieve my wheelchair from the backseat. He sheathed his knife before he opened my passenger door and picked me up.
It occurred to me that I ought to use this opportunity when he couldn’t reach for his knife to hit him, but he anticipated that. “Don’t even try whatever it is you’re planning to do. I’m faster and stronger than you. Plus, I have two working legs.” He snickered.
