El & Em, page 32
“It's just for now,” he protested, re-emerging when they were alone again. “Because no one knows about Laura yet – I don't want stories getting out saying I'm cheating on her. But I ain't gonna hide like that forever.”
“Glad to hear it,” Emmett said. “’Cause I can't wait to tell the world I'm your man.”
Over brunch at the table in the suite, they began catching up on the past and sharing plans for the future.
“When did this all happen with Laura?” Emmett asked.
“Well, she just told me over the break. I guess it might have been developing for a while.”
“And you waited this long to tell me?”
“I was...” Luke looked sheepish. “I was trying to figure out if you might be interested.”
“You had doubts about me?”
“Well, jeeze, Em, you got yourself engaged.”
“That was a mistake. But you're married – and I was pretty sure about you.”
“I knew you had still had feelings for me. I just wasn't sure you'd want to try again after everything we been through...”
“There's nothing I wouldn't go through to try again,” Emmett said quietly. “After all the mistakes I've made in the past.”
Luke leaned across the table to kiss him. “Me too.” He paused for a moment before taking another bite of omelette. “I don't think I could've kept going much longer the way we were anyway.”
“You mean, since we started the tour?”
“Yeah. I mean, I knew I was playin' with fire when we started acting up again onstage. I couldn't stand everything being so awkward but once we started going back to the old ways...I don't think I could've stood that much longer either.”
“It’s a good thing Laura found the right guy, man. But what would you have done if she hadn't?”
“Honestly...” Luke set down his fork and folded his arms on the table. “I would've either...” He hesitated, still thinking. “I would've either asked Laura for a divorce, or stopped playing with the band. It just couldn't go on like that.”
“Losing the band again so soon...that would have broken my heart.”
“What about you, Em? Could you have kept going like that?”
“Being your friend while I was in love with you? That’s what I always expected. How I thought it’d be for the rest of my life.”
“You mean before, while we...?”
“I never thought we could have a future together like – like this. Like we’re going to have now. I figured it was impossible, so we’d have to go back to being friends eventually. I made my peace with that a long time ago.”
Luke shook his head, lines creasing his brow. “I couldn’t do it.”
“I knew it would be hard on you. I kinda thought...I almost hoped you’d fall in love with someone else first, to make it easier on you.”
“And you thought that’s what happened with Laura?”
“Well, I – I hoped so.”
“That I got over you so fast? Wasn’t that – hard to take?”
“I mean, I wanted one of us to be happy at least.”
“Jesus, Em.” Luke let out his breath and reached across the table for Emmett’s hand. “You gotta think of yourself sometimes too.”
Emmett tilted his head and smiled. “It’ll be different this time.”
“Yes. You’re your own man now.”
“And you were right about the future, Lukey. I didn’t think this was possible, but you did. You held out and got what you wanted.”
“I didn’t hold out, I got lucky. But I’ll take it.”
“What's Laura gonna think about us getting together again?”
“Oh, she'll be so happy for us. I gotta call her today and let her know. Wait, we fly to Madrid this afternoon, but the first show's tomorrow so...we can hang out together again tonight, right?”
“I'll have Mary-Ann, so you can't stay over. And if you don't want stories getting out, we better not try anything in front of her – she sees everything and spills everything.”
Luke laughed. “Okay, I'll stay in my room and call home tonight. But on show nights she stays with Sarah, so I can come over then?”
“You better.”
“Four nights in Madrid...five in Amsterdam, four in Rome...” Luke was counting on his fingers. “So we still get thirteen nights together before we go home.”
“I thought Laura and the kids were joining us in Rome, after she finishes her shows.”
“They are. But she's not going to mind if I slip out once the kids are asleep.”
“Do they know yet?”
“No, we'll tell ’em when we're home. How'd Mary-Ann take it when you and Angela split?”
“She was so little, she hardly understood what was going on. Yours are older, more like Robbie and Walt when I left. That was a lot harder.”
They took their coffee over to the sofa, where Luke sank back against Emmett's chest.
“So what's the plan after we get back?” Emmett asked, his fingers running through the light hair of Luke’s chest, tracing the muscles of his abdomen.
“Well, I'll go home with Laura and the kids. Not for long, just to break the news and help them adjust. A couple of weeks, I guess. Then I promised to move out and let them all stay there, so Jase and Julia aren't too disrupted.”
“Yeah, that makes sense.”
“I kinda need a place to crash though,” Luke said sheepishly. “Any way you could put me up for a bit?”
Emmett laughed. “Sure, Luke, but I got to warn you, my house is full of kids.”
“Well, I think Robbie's going out on tour again, so that should be one less.”
“There's always gonna be room for you.”
Luke and Emmett spent the rest of the tour in carefully managed bliss. They didn't try to hide their rejuvenated closeness during the day, even if their sleep-overs were a closely guarded secret. In the end Luke took Janie into his confidence so she could help them manage the situation, and Emmett didn't tell a soul, not even Robbie. If the rest of the team guessed anything they had too much sense to speculate in public.
In Rome, Laura met Emmett with a warm hug and a whispered “Congratulations!” that he returned. Onstage, Emmett and Luke welcomed her back to the front line like they were three co-conspirators, Emmett and Laura joining forces more often than ever and Luke throwing himself into their collective embrace rather than running between them. On performance nights, Jason and Julia would keep company with Mary-Ann, and Laura had no objections to Luke slipping away to Emmett's room.
After the tour ended, Luke went back to the farmhouse with Laura, and the two of them worked together to explain their new situations to the children. The news was a shock, but Jason and Julia were resilient and eventually took everything in stride. They didn't know Pedro very well yet, but they had no objection to Emmett being an extra daddy.
Meanwhile, Emmett returned to the house at Forge with Robbie and Mary-Ann, joining Walt who was already there. Once he heard from Luke that the news had been broken on that side, Emmett filled his own kids in on everything. Robbie was decidedly unsurprised, Walt initially stunned but happy for him, and Mary-Ann – still a bit miffed about the second mother she'd been cheated of – mollified at the idea of a second father instead.
On a chilly day in mid-December, Emmett stood on the front steps of his house and watched Luke's Jeep pull into the driveway. As Luke climbed out, Walt and Robbie loped outside to help unload and carry in his bags and guitar cases. Luke stopped on the drive to read the large banner Mary-Ann had spent the day working on, and Emmett had helped her to hang from the wall outside:
Welcome to the family, Luke!
Robbie paused on his way to the van to hug Luke. “Like I didn't know,” he said, laughing. “You guys gotta work on your sneaking around skills, bro.”
“Don't worry,” Walt called out from the van, “I moved into the basement so you guys can do whatever you want upstairs.”
“Like it?” Mary-Ann asked, suddenly appearing at Luke's side.
“I love it.” Luke wrapped his arms around her, then let her take his hand and lead him toward the steps.
“Seriously,” Robbie added, following them with a couple of suitcases. “I got a place downtown, I'm moving in next week. And when I leave for my tour, Walt's gonna take it over.”
“But meanwhile, you gotta remember we're not as rich as you are,” Walt said sternly. “We don't even have a dishwasher, you gotta wash your own dishes here.”
Luke couldn't stop smiling as he made it up the front steps with Mary-Ann to where Emmett was waiting with a look of benevolence and muted elation. He slid an arm around Luke's waist and bent down to kiss his mouth. “Welcome home, Lukey,” he whispered.
By Christmas everyone had adjusted to the new situation. Laura hosted them all at the farmhouse – Pedro, Luke, Emmett, Robbie, Walt, Mary-Ann, Jason and Julia – and the new blended family began to take shape. In January, Robbie headed out on tour with his old band and Walt moved into Robbie's apartment, leaving only Mary-Ann with Luke and Emmett...until Jason and Julia came to stay while Laura and Pedro headed south for a vacation.
Laura and Luke put out a joint news release about their separation in February, which was old news by then to their immediate friends and family. Luke and Emmett decided not to formally announce their partnership and just let news get out, which it did very quickly. They eventually confirmed it in a joint interview in Purple Haze magazine, with an accompanying photo spread that re-created their classic Saving Grace cover pose. That issue of the magazine sold out within days.
Luke had not released any albums since his last solo record in Seattle and it was time for a new recording contract, but he'd instructed Jerry to hold off on negotiations until his relationship was public knowledge.
“I want to work with a team that's got my back when they know the whole story,” he said firmly.
So Jerry started looking after the magazine article came out, and while the new deal he eventually secured was somewhat smaller and less lucrative than previous ones, it was with a mid-sized label that fully committed to supporting Luke and the band.
Times had indeed changed over the six or seven years since Luke and Emmett first discussed coming out. Luke's popularity had already taken a hit during his solo years, and while the news of his relationship with Emmett had some impact, he continued to slowly rebuild his reputation. Most of his remaining fans had grown up along with him, and he'd also gained a newer, younger audience that was familiar with bands like Bronski Beat, REM and the B-52s. Public attitudes had evolved over the years, and education had reduced the fear and panic about AIDS. Luke's music had also changed – it was more sophisticated and political these days – and with the band's reunion he was seen less as a blue-collar champion of the working man and more as thoughtful troubadour and storyteller. In the end, his world adjusted.
The effect on Emmett's business was even less noticeable, since most of his clients knew him personally, and generally cared more about the quality of the work he provided than who he lived with. By the time Emmett told his parents he suspected they'd already been filled in – likely by their grandkids – as they only hugged him and told him they were glad to see him so happy. The rest of his extended family, and his Mountain Top band-mates, were taken aback, but generally more impressed that he'd scored such a high-profile partner than shocked about it being a man. In the end, Emmett lost a few friends and a handful of clients, but nothing that made an impression on his overwhelming happiness.
After a couple of years, Pedro and Laura bought a new house together and moved into it. Luke and Emmett took over the farmhouse, while Jason, Julia and Mary-Ann alternated between their two sets of parents. Walt returned to the house beside Forge and co-ran the studio with Emmett.
Luke's next album was recorded with the full band at Forge and released in early 1995. It got stellar reviews and sold respectably – less than his most successful albums but enough to pay the bills. The band went back out on tour the following year, and the pattern continued in the years that followed. They never reached quite the same heights of fame and stardom they once had, and Luke could look at the crowds from onstage and see how some of his former fans were missing. But the ones that remained loved him better than ever.
Epilogue:
Twenty years later
“Isn’t that, like, a conflict of interest?” Luke asked, laughing into his phone.
Mary-Ann was reassuring. “No, no, I'm only the messenger. I had nothing to do with the invite.”
“And what's it for again?”
“They want to recognize you and dad for your work in HIV/AIDS education and awareness.”
“That sounds like a lot of fancy words for writing a couple songs and playing a few benefits.”
“I'm sure they want to sell more tickets too but you guys have done more than almost anyone else in terms of visibility.”
“And...what do we have to do?”
“Just show up for dinner, maybe make a speech, and let a bunch of people make speeches about you.”
“Well, I'll talk to your dad, Doc. You know he'll kick my ass if I make any commitments without asking him first.”
“I know you can talk him into it if you want.”
Mary-Ann had recently finished her residency and started working with a downtown Philly AIDS/HIV clinic. She'd always been an activist, so Luke supposed they might as well get used to being asked to help out.
It was a bright, clear day in May of 2014. Luke went out back to look for Emmett, and found him doing laps in the heated pool. Emmett was seventy-one now, and since his stroke three years ago, he relied on aquatic exercise for rehab and general fitness. That stroke had been terrifying at the time, but with Emmett being in good shape overall, and Luke getting him medical care quickly, the outcome had been very positive.
Fortunately, Luke and Emmett had heard enough warning stories from José and Ray that they'd locked up their legal status early on. Pennsylvania had no domestic partnership laws, so their lawyers had taken care of not only estate planning and custody arrangements, but also medical decision-making and personal care arrangements. With Mary-Ann's support, Luke had managed and directed every aspect of Emmett's recovery and care to his personal satisfaction.
Emmett had almost fully recovered by now and with a few accommodations they'd even been able to manage another tour just last year. Emmett had complained about not being able to perform for at least two years by then, and Luke had refused to consider any shows that Emmett couldn't join him for. Sure, Emmett needed some extra support during the tour, and they'd hired additional assistants and therapists to keep him in good shape. But Luke had insisted on walking him on to every stage, standing close so Emmett could lean on him if necessary and taking him right over to his station. When Emmett was settled, Luke would put his face up for a kiss before walking to his own mic and launching the show.
This year they were taking it easy, working on Luke's new record slowly and spending as much time with their families as they could. Between them, he and Emmett had three grandchildren – Jason's son and Walt's two daughters – who often joined them at the farmhouse. Robbie was off on tour with his own band; he'd left the B-Sides a few years back, and on the last tour Julia had taken over his spot.
Laura and Eddie both had respectable musical careers of their own, if on a smaller scale than Luke and the B-Sides. Luke and Emmett went to see them whenever they could, and occasionally sat in. Emmett had retired the Mountain Tops after his stroke, saying he needed to conserve his energy for the band that mattered most.
Jerry had also retired, finally, and Luke replaced him with a new management team. The rest of the B-Sides were still going strong, and most of the original crew was still intact. If everything went well, Luke figured they'd all be good for one more tour. Maybe two.
Luke waited while Emmett finished up his routine and climbed out of the pool, then went to meet him with a towel and brought him inside the house to warm up. At sixty-four, he was still happy to be Emmett's boy. Though their roles had changed in some ways – especially since the stroke, when Luke had naturally become more of a caretaker and support – they both enjoyed the original dynamic, and Emmett found that Luke's deference took away some of his frustration about being slower, older and more coddled.
The housekeeper had left dinner for them, so Luke brought it into the living room while Emmett went to get changed.
“Mary-Ann wants us to go to some fancy dinner her clinic's organizing,” Luke said, handing Emmett his drink as he came into the room. “If it's okay with you. To thank us for our 'visibility'.”
Emmett laughed as Luke explained the details. “Man, if they only knew all the shit that went down before we agreed to be visible.”
They toasted each other, and Luke turned on the television so they could watch the news over dinner. A few moments later, as the anchor began reading the headline story, they both stopped talking abruptly.
“A U.S. federal district court judge rule today that Pennsylvania's 1996 statutory ban on recognizing same-sex marriage is unconstitutional.”
Luke and Emmett turned to face each other in dawning understanding.
“Does this mean what I think...” Emmett began.
“About fucking time.” Luke got up and went over to a shelf on the wall. “I been holding on to this for years.” He pulled out a small ring box and turned around, only to find Emmett had a similar looking box in his own hand.
“So have I, Lukey.”
In another moment they were laughing in each other's arms.
“Dibs on Robbie for my best man,” Luke said, his voice muffled against Emmett's shoulder.
“Then I get Jase.”
“Deal.”
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