El & Em, page 29
“Wait a minute,” Luke said suddenly, surveying the booth more suspiciously. “Is this some kind of coup? Is that why you all suggested this? I thought we were celebrating, man!”
“We are,” Leo agreed quickly. “And – and it's not a coup. We just want to talk about a few areas where things might be a touch more...egalitarian.”
“Egali—”
“Equal.”
“I know what it means, Leo! I've read a few books. Look, I told you guys from the beginning, it’s not a democracy. It's – ”
“Yeah, you told us that back in – what was it, '72? '73? Don't you think after twenty years we might be – not a democracy exactly but maybe not a dictatorship either? Maybe like some kind of, uh...uh...”
“Anocracy,” Gordon suggested helpfully. “Also known as semi-democracy.”
“We just want a bit of input in a few key areas, Luke. Hear us out.”
Emmett watched Luke trying to absorb this. In all the years the band had been together, Luke's rule had never been questioned, so this would be a shock to him. But he seemed to be taking it surprisingly well; in fact, some slow light of understanding seemed to grow in his eyes as he gradually adjusted to the conversation.
“Well, I write the songs,” Luke said at last, defensively. “I have to be in charge of the music. And the business.”
“Most of the business relates to the songs,” Gordie pointed out mildly. “And you're right, they're your songs. But don't you think we could work on some of them together? Not co-writing necessarily, but maybe sometimes, instead of you giving us all our lines note by note, we could...you know, work out our parts together? Kind of like a collaboration?”
“We already collaborate.”
Even Emmett looked skeptical at that.
“Not really, man.” Leo took over again. “Look, even if it's only when we're arranging the live versions. We just want you to be open to hearing our ideas.”
Luke threw himself back on the bench and folded his arms. “What else you got? I'm listening.”
“Well...we'd like to be consulted on tour plans. Not all the details – just big things like how long we're out for and when we start, stuff like that.”
“You mean no two-year extensions at the last minute.”
“We're not saying no, just that we'd like to be consulted.”
“Well, there's only one tour planned right now and it starts in January.”
“Yeah, but do we know how long it'll last yet?” Pete asked.
“...No. All right, I hear you. Once I have some options I'll run them by you guys, how's that sound?”
“We'd appreciate that,” Leo said.
“So...more collaboration, a say in who joins the band, input into tour planning – that it?” Luke asked.
The others shot a few glances back and forth. Then Leo said very quietly, “Some notice before you fire us.”
Emmett couldn't stop himself from jumping in. “The exit bonus was very generous, Luke. It's just that – it's hard to get news like that so suddenly.”
Luke nodded slowly. “I won't drop another bomb on you. I promise.” He looked around the table again. “That it?”
As far as Emmett knew, it was. He was surprised when Pete spoke up.
“Hey, maybe instead of being Luke Clarkston and the B-Sides, we could be – just the B-Sides.”
“What?”
From the way everyone stared at Pete, Emmett figured no one else had expected this either.
“Gordie? Leo?” Luke turned to them in disbelief. “You on board with that?”
They both seemed amused, and perhaps a little intrigued. “Maybe the B-Sides featuring L Clarkston?” Gordie mused.
Luke made a final appeal. “Em?”
Emmett smiled. “I'm on board with everything we talked about. But I think Luke Clarkston and the B-Sides is just fine.”
Chapter 27
Things weren't turning out exactly how Emmett had expected. Instead of being alone or with Mary-Ann till she grew up, he was sharing his house with Robbie and Walt as well, at least temporarily. Rather than remaining single indefinitely, he'd met a kind woman at his gym and they often hung out for movies or dinner. And most unbelievably, the professional music career he'd assumed was over appeared to have resurrected. You just never knew about life, he often thought to himself.
One thing that hadn't surprised him was his renewed friendship with Luke. Somehow, he'd always known they'd figure it out again at some point. He just couldn't imagine a world where he and Luke were on the same planet and not eventually friends. Even Luke's slightly teary apology hadn't really been unexpected; Luke had always worked hard at relationships. What did make Emmett wonder a bit had been that hug after their conversation – not the physical contact, exactly, but the way it had lingered slightly, as though Luke hadn't wanted it to end.
Emmett often watched Luke and Laura together, when he happened to be with both of them. As far as he could tell, they seemed comfortable and content, like any couple. They weren't terribly demonstrative, but Luke always treated Laura courteously, consulted her on decisions or social invitations, and deferred to her on domestic matters. There was no reason to think he had anything besides real feelings for her – other than Emmett's nagging sense that Luke had been different with him, when they were involved.
In any case, Luke still seemed to treat him with a certain delicacy when they saw each other these days. Emmett couldn't tell if it was a lingering reserve from their long time apart, a fear of inadvertently giving the wrong impression, or something else altogether.
Much of that fall was spent preparing for the upcoming tour. In the end, Emmett recruited Walt, who had just completed a sound engineering program, to run Forge in his absence. He spent the next few months training his son while also working long hours in the studio to complete as many contracts as he could. But some of his most valued clients would still need work during the next year that Walt didn’t have the experience to handle.
Eventually, Emmett steeled himself to tell Luke he’d need more flexibility during the tour, a few breaks here and there when he could return home to take care of his own business. After so many years of accepting Luke’s absolute rule on band-related matters, asking him to compromise felt daring, almost dangerous. But Emmett figured he had to do this now, at the outset, if he wanted to maintain his own independence through the next phase of his life. When they finally had their discussion, Luke seemed surprised at first but adjusted quickly and after some quiet negotiation agreed to the concessions Emmett needed. Afterward, Emmett found himself almost exhilarated, as though he’d been taken seriously for the first time.
Angela agreed that Mary-Ann would travel with Emmett during the spring and fall, and stay with her for the summer. The Mountain Tops would carry on in some way without him, and he'd join them for occasional gigs when the tour took them close to home.
Luke duly consulted and everyone agreed that the tour would last just under a year, with one long break in the middle. It would cover the U.S., Canada and a handful of European countries, which would allow them to test the waters for latent interest in Luke and the re-formed band in various markets. Initial ticket sales seemed solid, but a lot would depend on reviews, the kind of energy they created on stage, and word of mouth.
Because of the uncertainty, this tour was planned much more conservatively than the last couple had been. They'd be travelling mostly by bus again, taking commercial flights only for longer distances; they'd play arenas and concert halls but not necessarily the largest stadiums; and band members had limited budgets for staff and support. Emmett and Luke arranged to share nannies and tutors for the three kids, and Emmett re-hired Diane, but he wouldn’t have dedicated hair, wardrobe and personal training assistance on this tour.
Rehearsals started in late November with a break over the holidays, and Luke made a visible effort to be receptive to input from the rest of the band as they worked on the live set list. Emmett could see Luke's anxiety about the much hyped and anticipated tour – how badly he wanted it to work, but how much he feared being viewed as a has-been or nostalgia act. Luke was especially concerned about the mix of new and old material, not wanting to cheat faithful fans out of their favourites but still determined to prove his relevancy.
For Emmett, working regularly with Robbie was novel and exciting. Luke tended to leave the two of them alone and treat Emmett as the leader of a kind of mini horn section, giving him the freedom to work out his son's parts along with his own, which was satisfying.
At the last minute, just before they got on the road, Emmett's new lady friend, Denise, offered to take a leave from her job and join the tour later on, to help out. Emmett was happy to accept her offer. Denise was easy-going and low drama; she got along well with Mary-Ann and the boys, and she'd already taken to maintaining Emmett's braids and providing style advice for his live appearances. Emmett wasn't in love with her – and vice versa, he was pretty sure – and they'd made no promises of exclusivity, but he enjoyed her company and appreciated the support. He was close to fifty now, and Denise only a couple of years younger, so he likely didn't need to worry about another inadvertent pregnancy.
The reunion tour finally kicked off in January of 1993, with a couple of performances on the band's own turf in Philly. Those shows were a triumph – an exultant homecoming for an adoring hometown fanbase – and set the stage for the rest of the tour, where night after night Luke and the band were met by boisterous, enthusiastic crowds that had apparently been waiting impatiently for six years. Even Luke seemed taken aback to find out how beloved they still were, and he responded to the crowd's outpouring of affection with an ever-increasing commitment and conviction of his own.
For Emmett, touring again took some getting used to. Parts of the process seemed harder now – he was older and slower, the bus rides less comfortable, the anonymous hotel rooms lonelier. But the live performances – those were the pay-off, from the very first show. The benefit concert had been a small reminder of life with the B-Sides, and he'd been playing consistently with his own loose ensemble, but Emmett had forgotten the magic of playing night after night with this tight group of lifelong friends who knew each note intimately and anticipated each other's every move, snapping back together like pieces in a jigsaw puzzle.
Emmett, Luke and Laura made up the front line again, with Robbie close behind Emmett, Pete next to Gord’s piano, and Leo on drums behind Laura. It only struck Emmett when they were all on stage that with this lineup, the band – not counting Luke – was made up equally of Black and white folks. It felt odd not to be in a minority after all these years
Luke brought all his previous passion and heart to the new shows, but he had to adjust some of his old moves. He was still in good shape but even so, at forty-three, he couldn't quite manage his previous level of frenetic activity. Instead, he replaced it with a more controlled energy, a warm, inviting stage presence and a greater emphasis on audience interaction that built on the crowd's continual flow of goodwill. He seemed to take particular pleasure in introducing the band now – showcasing each individual member and the B-Sides as a whole as though to celebrate their return to his life every night.
It took a while for Emmett and Luke to find their footing, on stage and off. Emmett tended to stay close to his station at first – he didn't do much more than dance a few steps here and there, or move up a bit for his solos. Luke prowled the full length and width of the stage as he played, generally moving between Laura and Emmett. He'd often plant himself beside Emmett to assume a pose or share a mic, but they were both a bit too conscious of each other, a bit too cautious, to be entirely natural. There was no longer a little kiss during “Flaming Up”, and “Mountain Home” hadn't even made the set list.
To make matters worse, Luke continued to handle Emmett with a kind of diffidence, as if not wanting to let his guard down. Emmett thought he understood, and suspected they were both afraid of falling into their old patterns onstage – not just the constant physical contact but the familiarity and intimacy that might be more painful now. Luke's deference reminded him of his earliest days in the band, when Luke had always seemed half enthralled and half intimidated by him. It all made it harder for Emmett to loosen up.
The team had a kind of bus convoy for inter-city transportation – one bus for Luke, his family and their staff; two more for the rest of the band and their families; and several for the crew. On the first day, as they were loading up to leave Philadelphia, Luke quietly steered Emmett, Robbie, Mary-Ann and Diane over to his bus.
“Let's keep the kids together,” he said lightly.
For the first few trips they mostly stuck to their own families, but soon the kids were hanging out at the back of the bus, Diane and Janie talking shop, Laura and Robbie catching up – and sure enough, there was Luke swinging himself into Emmett's seat and settling down beside him.
“How's Mary-Ann finding life on the road?” Luke asked, smiling up at Emmett.
“Oh, she loves it. She says it's way better than school.”
“Yeah, that's what Jules says too.”
Luke didn't rest himself against Emmett's body like he used to, and it was daytime rather than the middle of the night, but it still felt a lot like old times, to be sharing a seat and chatting quietly with Luke on their way to another gig.
“What about Robbie? How's he liking it so far?”
Emmett laughed. “He says it's a lot more organized than his last tour. And comfortable.”
“Sure, of course, he's toured before.” Luke suddenly squeezed Emmett's forearm. “I can't tell you what a light he was for me out in Seattle.”
The momentary intensity surprised Emmett. “I'm glad it worked out.”
“I feel like he was – what I most needed right then.” Luke shut his eyes for a moment, as though remembering.
“How are you finding him now?” Emmett asked, after a pause. “In the show? I'm doing my best to get him to fit in with our style...”
“He's fine. He don't need to fit in exactly, I kinda like that he's got his own sound. There's plenty of sax players that could copy you but they wouldn't add much to the band.”
“If you say so.”
Luke turned his head toward Emmett. “There's one thing I could use your help with, though.”
“Sure.”
“These crowds, they really love us – I could use some help channelling that energy, you know? I feel like it's the best thing we got going right now, the way the fans love us.”
“Sure, Luke, but what should I do?”
“I'd love it if you could step up with me sometimes, help me get the crowd going. And maybe keep the band on track while I'm out in the pit or whatever – sort of like Eddie used to do.”
“Well I'm not sure I can...”
“Don't act modest now, Em. I seen you with that band of yours. You can run a crowd and a band; I could use your help with both.”
Emmett didn't quite understand where this was coming from, but he had no objection. “Sure,” he said, “If that's what you want. I'll do my best.”
After that Emmett worked more closely with Luke during the live shows. When Luke stood on one side of the stage, rousing the crowd, Emmett learned to take up position at the opposite end so they could each lead their own half of the room in sing-alongs or chants. To his relief, the fans responded just as enthusiastically with him as they did with Luke, and soon he and Luke were facing off in playful competitions between their sections of the crowds.
Sometimes Luke would leave the stage, grabbing Emmett's hand to pull him along, so the two of them could run through the pit or the stands, slapping hands and hugging fans. Other times Luke would go out alone and leave Emmett to lead the band onstage, monitoring Luke's signals and keeping the rest of the band in sync. Once in a while Luke would nudge Emmett and whisper a word, then turn to face fans seated behind the stage while Emmett managed the ones in the front, or head backstage for a mini breather and leave Emmett in charge of the whole show. The rest of the band soon accepted Emmett as Luke's second in command.
Emmett found it a bit mystifying, but when he figured Luke needed to preserve his strength, all his old protective instincts re-awakened. In any case, he enjoyed the new role and found that working more closely with Luke made them both a lot less stilted. Sometimes Luke would throw Emmett a grin or a wink as he ran by that made Emmett forget everything except the renewed thrill of their partnership.
“So where to next?” Emmett asked.
“Cleveland tomorrow, then Chicago, then St. Louis.”
“How's the tour doing?”
“Can't you tell from the crowds?” Luke asked, laughing.
“That mean the reunion's a success?”
“Sure is. I think we can do this as long as we want.”
The bus was driving through darkness tonight; they'd started late and still had a couple hours to go. Already the interior lights were out and most of the other passengers asleep or dozing, lulled by the low hum of the engine. Only Luke and Emmett, side by side in one row, were still awake, their voices too quiet to be heard by the others.
“That's exciting.”
“You know, I been writing for the full band again. I can't wait to work with you at Forge on the next album, Em.”
“Me either. It's been so long.”
“I know it has.” Luke turned his head to give Emmett a long, somber, pensive look. “It's been a long time since we played together too. Sometimes I feel like we...we kinda forgot how to act with each other.”
Emmett knew what he meant, but didn't they both understand why that was? “Well, you know...” he said, trying to be playful, “you're a married man now. We can't do all the same shenanigans we used to.”
Luke's gaze dropped for a moment, then returned. “I know it ain't easy to go back again but...I think we gotta try, if we want this to work.”
“That what you want, Luke? To go back again?”
