Into the Light, page 11
part #2 of Dark Angel Series
“Honey, whilst I would like nothing more than to have your cock in my mouth, this isn’t what you want. I’ve never been what you want.”
I was surprised by her words; was this reverse psychology? This wasn’t the Victoria I knew. I continued to stare at her oddly, her behavior throwing me off.
“We play this cat and mouse game but the reality is you love her. Lex Edwards actually loves another human being.” She laughed holding onto my chest. “Lex, go and make this right. This is not you. This is not the strong confident ballsy Lex that pushes my buttons beyond all recognition, who is also is a genius in the business world.”
“She doesn’t want me,” I mumbled with my head bowed, my confidence no longer present.
“That’s impossible. No one can resist Lex Edwards. Look at me.” I looked into her eyes, not knowing what I was supposed to be looking for. “You built this empire from nothing. You’ve fought in boardrooms with some of the most powerful men in the business world. You cannot lose this battle, because this battle will be your toughest but with the greatest reward at the end. You understand me?”
I nodded. I did. I think...
“Now let’s go back in there and try to convince the Hanson Group to sell us their shares in the Wilson division,” she said confidently.
Smiling, I followed her back into the room where I found a piece of my old self.
Paris actually turned out to be a great accomplishment. We managed to sign on new business, and of course I was in my element for the week I spent there. It turned out that back-to-back meetings with new investors as well as business expos provided me with the solitude that I was desperate for, but of course all good things must come to an end and once again I found myself alone, at a loss with what to do. I still wasn’t ready to go home so I flipped through my phone and looked for places I wanted to visit. For some reason, Brazil caught my eye. I had been there years ago, for business, but something drew me back. I don’t know what it was, like this pull almost. I booked my flights and the next day I touched down in Rio de Janiero; I was still wondering why I chose to come here.
Wandering the streets of Brazil, I felt like a nomad, alone with no purpose. The bottle of tequila was a permanent fixture in my hand. This city came alive at night, the crowds freely dancing away in the streets, the samba beats echoing through the night. It was easy to get lost in this diversity as I made my way through the streets not really knowing where I was heading to. Women would reach out for me, beautiful women. Offering me their bodies for a night, like that was what I needed. It was hard to resist but as I stared into their blank faces it felt wrong, it was only her face I wanted to see, so I walked away until the noise lessened, finding myself in a quieter part of the city. The buildings looked more worn down, dilapidated even. The crowd looked different now, rougher. They were no longer friendly and were eyeing me with caution, almost on guard like I was a threat. I saw the neon light flashing and entered the bar; the tequila was running low.
Inside the music was more somber, the bar not too full, just a bunch of drunks drinking away their worries. I pulled a seat up and asked for a shot. The man beside me patted me on the back like he was my long lost friend. I motioned to the bartender that all drinks were on me, throwing a wad of cash onto the bar. The fear was no longer apparent as the crowd cheered saluting me then going about their own business. The drinks kept coming and my vision became more blurred, the man, my new best friend, spoke to me in Portuguese, telling me about all the pussy he had fucked this week. This story, somewhat entertaining, provided me with the welcome distraction I desperately needed.
But then he went quiet.
And my mind allowed itself to think.
I wanted to beat the living shit out of him for touching her, for implanting this baby inside her.
I didn’t want him near her.
I wanted him dead.
I fumbled for my cell, the screen was jumbled. I think there was a text... I wasn’t sure. Where is Tony’s number? FUCK I needed the mafia now...
My friend slid over another bottle of tequila. That worm, shit I never thought that I could drink that worm. But I fucking did.
What was I doing again…?
The bottle was empty. I realized that I ran out of cash, or the cash no longer sat in my pocket. I fumbled for more, realizing that it was all gone, I had been robbed. Panicking, I placed my hand over the secret pocket in my jacket, the relief washing over me as the plastic card still remained. Thank God for my Amex.
It was time to leave, so I stumbled out of the bar with my friend in tow. As the door opened I squinted, the light was so bright. I checked my watch but it was only 3am. No sun yet, so what the actual fuck? As my eyes adjusted to the light I immediately recognized the ‘Christ the Redeemer’ statue overlooking Rio de Janeiro, but the light that came off it was so bright it hurt, almost stinging my eyes. I asked my friend why so bright but he laughed and told me it always lit up at night and rambled on about Jesus being his savior, but this was not some little light; it shone directly at me. I asked him again, he laughed once more telling me the tequila was making me see things – that worm inside the bottle had a way of poisoning the mind. Yeah, so I was beyond intoxicated, that had to be why my imagination was playing tricks on me.
The warm air greeted us outside and I tried to ignore the light, that was until this little girl caught my attention. Her father was holding her hand; odd, I thought, to be on the streets at 3am. She looked small, her clothes tattered and her hair a wild mess of brown curls. She complained like a little brat to her father until I realized what she was saying. She complained about the light, the way it shone so bright it hurt her eyes. I turned around and ran to her side. Kneeling down to her level, I asked her if she saw that too, and she nodded. Almost instantly her father pulled her away, cursing at me and scolding her for talking to a stranger. She cried as he pulled her away, his voice speaking fast in their native language, until I heard the name Carla. Isn’t that Charlotte in Spanish?
She ran back to me, her father yelling her name. She asked me one more time if I saw that light too; I nodded, giving her a small smile before she ran off back to her father. I stood there, this light, this girl named Carla, this sign, fuck, my head hurt. That was the last thing I remember before I passed out, slumped in the alleyway against some old crates.
God knows how much later, as I took in my surroundings, I knew that someone was watching over me. I was alive. The memories of last night flashed before me. The light, the girl named Carla. I tried to think about this rationally. Yes, she said the baby wasn’t mine but I remembered what Bryce said about the psych ward. Was she reliving a memory, lying in a hospital bed, déjà vu and shit? I knew Charlotte…she wouldn’t actually fuck Julian, not willingly anyway. Maybe it was a one-time thing, like after the Victoria shit that went down. No, that would have been too soon. If she already knew she was pregnant then it would have happened at least over a month ago. Okay so maybe I wasn’t in the picture, that was possible, she wouldn’t do that me, not after everything we’d been though. So realistically, say she fucked up once, and it was his. Do I let go of her for a lifetime?
There was only one question: was she worth it?
I knew the answer, and fuck the fucking universe with all its fate and destiny bullshit. If I wanted something to happen, I would make it happen – no matter what it took. She was mine all along and once again, I, Alexander Edwards, vowed not to stop, not until she was mine again.
Chapter 11
Charlie
Time had become a blur since the night he left me; well, should I say the night I foolishly pushed him away. I no longer knew what day it was. I was suspended in this ‘no man’s land’ struggling to climb out, looking for any sense of hope but it was impossible. I was on a familiar downward spiral and by the seventh day I knew it was near, that I would crack and be back in that place I said I would never go again. As I sat there on my couch I dialed his number, he answered knowing it was me, the familiarity of my voice. He knew enough about me to know that I needed him, that in this moment he was the only one who could save me.
I sat across from him in the corner of the coffee shop. I knew by reaching out to him that I was once again forever in his debt for what he had done for me. He smiled as he took a sip of his espresso, his self-composure always confident, and a small part of me was intimidated by how much power this man had over me. How decisions he chose to make affected my life. For the good or for the bad, the jury was still out on that one.
“Thank you for coming on such short notice.”
“Charlie, I know enough to know why you called me.”
With my hands shaking, I remained silent. He placed his hand over mine, a gesture of comfort, of ease. I looked into his eyes. Did he know what I had done? Did he know the mistake I made?
“I don’t want to go back there... I don’t want to go back to that place.”
“You don’t have to.” He assured me, squeezing my hand tight. “You can make the decisions here; this is not about fate, Charlie. This is about you understanding that life will deal you a card and sometimes it’s of the lowest kind and it forces you to make the best of a situation. You are already better than you were by knowing you needed to call me. You’ve proven what you can accomplish, what you can get through if you believe in yourself and accept what is. Now you’re faced with a crossroads, so what road do you take? Do you take the easy route and run and hide as fast as possible or do you take the long windy road? In the end, the possibilities are endless.”
Just like that he placed the ultimatum in front of me. This was my decision. But I knew I had already thrown fuel into the fire, and part of me knew that although I was living this nightmare, his was even worse. The pain I had bestowed upon him was of pure hatred and why would I do that to the one person I loved more than life itself?
“I’ve said things…things to hurt him.”
“But you still love him?”
“I never stopped,” I whispered.
“Charlie,” he said softly, “choose your destiny and never let go of that. One day this conversation will be history.”
“How do you know that will happen?”
“Because if you really want something, I mean like really want it, you can have it. You just need to find the willpower and the strength. Look at the end picture and stop focusing on the pain you’re feeling right now.”
I smiled. He was right.
“I can’t thank you enough, you know, for what you did for me. I mean, my life…you know…I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you.”
“It wasn’t me, Charlie. I have my faults too. You reached out and needed my hand to lead the way but the walk, the journey, you did that all by yourself. Thank yourself, Charlie, not me.”
I couldn’t help but lean over and hug him tight. Despite what he just said my gratitude towards him couldn’t be ignored. Everything I was today I owed to him. The only way I could repay him was to move forward, find that better place, be that better person. I’d been given a second chance, now I was given my third.
“Remember what I said,” he reminded me as I pulled away. “This is your choice, your decision, your destiny. You want something…then go for it.”
I nodded, understanding what I needed to do to fix this catastrophe I created. It was going to be the biggest fight of my life but if what he said was true, if I look at the end picture, I won’t go down without a fight, without placing every morsel of hope, every bout of faith, every ounce of trust in us.
“There’s one more thing I need…a favor,” I said hesitantly.
“Charlie, you know you can ask for anything,” he responded with ease.
“I need…I need to you to do a DNA test…” I trailed off.
Some things are worth fighting for. When your heart won’t stop loving then it’s not ready to give up. He didn’t judge me, he didn’t pity me, instead he chose to understand me and once again guide me along the right path. We said our goodbyes but I turned back one last time, because I needed to say it again.
“Andrew?”
He turned around to face me, his strikingly handsome looks on par with his son.
“Thank you…again,” I mouthed before he walked out of the coffee shop with a smile on his face.
…
I took in a deep breath as I gazed at my reflection in the mirror. The dress was absolutely stunning, the color matching my skin tone perfectly. It’s amazing what a spray tan can do, I thought to myself. My hair had been styled in soft curls parted to the side and the only piece of jewelry I wore was the phoenix pendant. Reaching for the necklace, I ran my fingers over it, closing my eyes as I took in another deep breath. Of course I knew why I was nervous: it would be the first time I’d see him since that night in the hospital.
Sometimes in life you wonder how you ever got through something, a moment as such when life meant nothing. The past month had been nothing short of hell. Time was moving slowly but I was stuck in my own personal hell, waving my wand of pain over those I loved...over the only man I had ever loved. I had no one to blame but myself. That’s what made this harder.
My talk with Andrew made me realize I couldn’t give up, but I couldn’t push him either. There were several times when I nearly caved, dialing his number, sending him a text and even as far as speaking to Air France on the phone ready to divulge my credit card details, but I chickened out at the last minute. Of course I wanted to see him, but there was the uncertainty of his reaction and I needed to be in the right frame of mind to handle any hurt or rejection he would inflict upon me. He was a guy after all… His natural reaction would be to fuck everything in sight and forget about me, the super bitch who was knocked up with another man’s baby. How I would do anything to take back what I said, to take back the hurt I caused him. But what’s done is done. I was officially all cried out and finally I was here, on Adriana’s wedding day where I would finally meet my destiny, the one I chose to follow.
“Charlie, I know you’re scared,” Eric said while fixing the back of my dress.
“Scared would be an understatement. E, what if I damaged him so bad that he can’t even look me in the eye?”
He placed the bottom of my dress down, standing behind me as he looked at my reflection in the mirror. “My mom always said that you could tell how much someone loves you by looking them in the eye. Look him straight in the eyes, Charlie. The answer will be there.”
I nodded, although the thought of not seeing any love for me was weighing heavily on my mind. Could I look into his eyes? What If I fall harder…and he isn’t there to catch me?
“And if all else fails, just look at his crotch and hope for a wave hello or the one-eyed salute.”
“You’re terrible.” I laughed.
“Weddings bring it out of me.”
There was a soft knock on the door followed by Kate poking her head in. Eric motioned for her to come in. He knew we needed to talk so he left us alone to go check on Adriana. I had only managed to communicate with Kate by text; this was the first time I had seen her since the restaurant episode.
“Charlie, you look gorgeous. That color is amazing on you,” she said nervously.
“Thanks, Kate. Listen, I’m so sorry for allowing this to come between us.”
“Charlie, seriously, we are both at fault. How did we not figure out we were talking about the same guy? I’m sorry for being distant the past month. It’s been difficult handling everything on my own.”
“I can imagine.” I paused, unsure if I should delve even further into this topic. “Kate...I love him. So much it hurts to breathe without him. But you know it was me who pushed him away. I’m hoping he’ll give me another chance.”
“Charlie, he loves you. Mr. Edwa…I mean, Lex…has never looked at anyone the way he looks at you. Trust me, I’ve been around… Bollocks, I didn’t mean for it to come out that way.”
I laughed, placing my hand on her arm, reassuring her. “It’s okay, I get it, he has a past. One day on a drunken rant you can spill all his dirty little secrets to me.”
“Oh God, he’d fire me if he ever found out I spilled the beans.” She laughed in return.
“You really love your job, don’t you?” Curiosity got the better of me. She had voiced on several occasions that her boss was a pain in her ass. I wondered what it was about Lex that made her enjoy her job.
She hesitated before answering. “You know I do. I actually look forward to waking up every day and going to work. It’s such a challenge and I love the interaction with some of the most intelligent and powerful people in the business world. Mr. Edwards... Lex... is such a great mentor. If you ignore the fact that he has mood swings like a lady waiting for her rags.”
I laughed out loud, it was so him. I pulled her into an embrace, squeezing her tight. “Thank you, Kate, for being a great friend.”
“Charlie. You deserve to be happy. You both do. You know he is here already?”
“He is?”
“Yes, he arrived not long ago.”
“How did he look?” I asked.
“Um, nice in his suit. Clean... He looked happy to be here.”
“Okay, I didn’t ask you to describe his dad. How did he look?”
“Oh Charlie, that’s kinda awkward for me to answer... Don’t give me that puppy dog look. NO FAIR!” She paused as I pouted my bottom lip waiting for her answer. “Okay fine! He looked hot, the suit looks top notch against his body. His face was cleanly shaven and his hair must have been cut, kinda like that hot vampire dude from those movies. He looked all happy with smiles. There, are you happy now?”
“That wasn’t so hard now, was it?” I teased.
Adriana walked into the room with Eric. We gasped as she stood in front of us, her face beaming. She looked like a princess. Her dress was the same shade as mine, but it was a show stopper. The bodice was strapless and had lace embroidered all around it. The skirt was very full like a ball gown, the middle section accentuated with a silk bow. She was everything I imagined she would be on her wedding day. My eyes watered; I blinked, trying to avoid ruining my makeup.
