Pack of Her Own, page 25
“Yes,” I said. “Me and Wren.”
Her face darkened. “She dumped you? She dumped you because you’re trans?”
At that, everyone in the room turned to look at me, and I felt the blush creep up my face. “Um, maybe? I mean I thought she did at first, but I don’t think she meant it that way.”
“It’s pretty hard not to mean those words when someone says them.”
I fidgeted. “It’s not…she didn’t actually say the words…” I shook my head. “There isn’t time to talk about this.” I turned to Dr. Maru. “Doc, we can trust her. Can you tell her what’s going on?”
She gave me a solid disapproving look. “Natalie…”
“If we’re going to get Wren, we can’t exactly make a plan by kicking Rory out of her apartment. So if you want to waste time going somewhere else, be my guest, but I’m staying here until I know she’s safe.”
“She won’t be very safe if she knows—”
“Hey!” Rory said. “You don’t get to decide things for me. I can take whatever this is.”
Dr. Maru gave me a hard look. “For Wren.”
As Dr. Maru gave Rory the CliffsNotes version of everything, I turned to the two shifters in the room.
“Are you two going to fight, or just stare at each other all day?”
“I have no issues with her,” Gwen growled.
“I am not leaving Hikaru in a room with this one,” Heather retorted.
“I can see we’re all going to be fast friends,” I said.
“The wolf will be fine as long as she doesn’t hurt you,” Gwen said, giving me the side-eye. “I hate that you got to know them before knowing who I truly am, but I’ve been your friend a lot longer than she has.”
“Hmph. And didn’t even bother to be honest with her.”
“I couldn’t!” Gwen said, “it’s not like I had a fucking option! Our king wouldn’t allow it.”
“King,” I said, musing. “You’re a lion?”
She shook her head. “Fuck, cat’s out of the bag now, huh?” She looked between me and Heather, wrapping her arms around herself as she backed away a few steps. “No, I’m a panther. There are so few feline shifters we usually form a pride together, and the leaders are our king and queen.”
“What she’s not telling you,” Heather growled, “is that she’s a very strong panther. One of the strongest in her pride, I’d wager a guess.”
She blanched at the accusation.
“Is that true?” I asked.
She nodded. “I hide it. I don’t want the attention that being strong brings. It’s just not for me.”
She retreated from the conversation, collecting a mug of coffee for herself and moving to the far side of the kitchen. Watching her, I realized some of those mannerisms that made her Gwen were very feline in nature. The thought made me smile.
By the time Dr. Maru was finished, Rory was sitting on the sofa beside her, leaning over with her head between her legs. Dr. Maru was rubbing her back daintily as Rory moaned softly.
“She’s a little overwhelmed.”
I snorted. “That’s an understatement.”
“You handled it a little better.”
“Maybe. I was in a hospital bed when you told me I’d just been fed vampire blood, after a group of rogue werewolves took me hostage to draw out Wren. What else could I do but handle it?” Rory’s head snapped up and focused on me as I spoke. “I don’t think I had much of a choice in the matter—especially not after finding out that I’m Wren’s mate.”
“Oh, oh no,” Rory muttered. “I think I’m going to be sick.”
“We don’t have time for that,” Heather said, “We need to find the Alpha.”
“Why are you here? She sure didn’t come for me,” I asked.
“Because you’re still connected to her,” Dr. Maru said. “You are still her mate, even if she was stupid and pushed you away.” My hand went to my stomach again. “When I passed out, was that because of whatever has happened to Wren?”
Dr. Maru only shrugged. “I would assume so. Enough trauma on one end of the connection can affect the other end. If whatever they did hurt her bad enough to prevent her from fighting back, it might’ve made you pass out.”
“I saw her,” I whispered. Dr. Maru’s eyes focused on me. I raised my voice a little. “I dreamed of her. Again.”
“And?” Her voice was too gentle, too knowing.
“She was there. I didn’t know she’d be there. I’ve dreamt of her wolf for a while now, but never her. But she was there this time, and she was hurt and she was apologizing and saying it was all her fault. It was like she was…” I couldn’t finish the sentence.
“Saying good-bye?” Heather said what I couldn’t.
Rory laughed abruptly. “Sounds like Wren,” she cackled. “Saying good-bye is something she sucks at.”
Her words helped me shake the melancholy, and I looked around at the ragtag group of allies around me. “So, you came here expecting me to help you find her? After what she did to me?”
My words made Dr. Maru and Heather look at each other worriedly. “You don’t understand,” Heather said.
I shook my head. “I understand more than you think,” I snapped, “and I understand how important she is to you, but that doesn’t negate what she did.”
“She was given false information,” Dr. Maru said. I opened my mouth to argue, but she held up a placating hand. “I’m not saying that absolves her of what she did, I am merely giving you context. She was told that humans can’t survive the mate bite. That it would kill you. She tore you and herself apart to make sure you lived.”
I stopped myself from responding without thinking. It wasn’t easy. The hurt was still so fresh in my head, in my heart. I tried to put myself in her position—knowing what she wanted, but not sure if she could have it. It wasn’t fair. Not to either of us.
“What happened to her? Where is she?”
“We don’t know. There was a problem with the shipment for the diner.” Dr. Maru shook her head. “I don’t know where she went, but she had to go deal with it.”
I looked between the wolf and the vampire. “What do you need from me?”
“You still have the mate bond,” Heather said.
“You can’t track her through the pack bond?” I asked and looked to Heather.
“She shut it down as much as she could back when you left town,” Heather said. “I can feel she’s still alive, but that’s it.”
“But I can still feel her. I can find her.” I looked back and forth between them all again. “I’m not staying back. If you want my help, I’m coming after her too.”
Heather shook her head. “I can’t protect you if there’s too many of them.”
“I can protect myself just fine,” I said. I turned to Gwen. “Are you coming with?”
She hesitated. “My king won’t like it.” Then she shook her head. “But fuck it, yeah. I’m in.”
“I will do what I can,” Dr. Maru added, “but that might not be as much as you’d like.”
“We’ll take all the help we can get.”
Rory stared at all of us. “What can I do?” No one could meet her eyes. “I’m her friend too. I want to help.”
I stared at her for a long moment. She’d only just learned about all of this and she still wanted to be there for her friend. I couldn’t shut her out. Then it came to me.
“Can you drive the truck?”
Rory smiled and went to grab the keys.
I turned back to everyone else. “Well, what are we waiting for?” They all started to shuffle toward the door. I gave the apartment one last look back, wondering how this had become my life. I wondered if I’d change it for anything in the world, then shook my head. Not a damned chance.
Chapter Thirty-five
Wren
After an hour stuck with my wrists chained to the ceiling, balancing on my toes, I could say for certain that I was not a fan of this. First of all, there was the swinging. Moving at all caused my body to sway in some direction I sure as shit wasn’t ready for, making my stomach lurch. The weight pulling down on my wrists constantly sent aching pain running through my arms. If it wasn’t for a shifter’s healing and strength, I probably would’ve dislocated both wrists and my shoulders by now.
I kept calling for my wolf, hoping that with even a small shift I could make a difference. But whoever had done all this had put a loose silver chain around my neck and over my shoulders. It was loose enough that it hung over my shirt instead of burning skin, but it was still too damned close. The weakness permeated through me, and the absence of my wolf tore a hole in my heart. The silver knife I’d taken to the gut had driven her away, and the silver chain kept her from me.
At least I got a chance to say good-bye. Even if it was in her dream. The forest—our forest. I hadn’t seen her since I pushed her away. She was so beautiful, magnificent even. And she was all mine. At least should’ve been. How did I mess things up so badly?
“Because you decided to be a scared little bitch,” I muttered. No one appeared to admonish me for speaking aloud so I decided to continue with the single-sided conversation. “Because you were told something by someone you barely know, and you took it for gospel and decided to tear apart the heart of the one woman who could actually handle you.”
I wasn’t really one for crying, but I did want to run my hands through my hair a few times. Or even just sit. Just sit and hold my face in my hands and wonder what the hell was wrong with me.
“Okay, seriously, deal with the current situation before you go all pity party on us, okay, Wren?”
Again, I called for my wolf, knowing it was useless. Maybe I was losing my mind. Didn’t they say that insanity is doing the same thing over and over and over again and expecting a different result?
“Losing it already, are you, Ms. Carne?” A low, somber voice filled the darkness around me. I stared out into it, only able to see maybe five, ten feet out even with my shifter senses. “I thought you’d hold up much longer than this.”
I shook myself, making the chains binding me to the ceiling rattle like Marley’s ghost. “There’s nothing wrong with talking to oneself,” I said. “Especially in my predicament.” I looked around, still trying to see where the voice was coming from. It was too damned familiar, but I couldn’t place it.
“Well, you only have yourself to blame for this,” the voice continued. “You brought this all on yourself.”
“What the hell are you talking about? I don’t even know you.”
“Really, Wren?” Footsteps echoed around the room. “Really? You don’t remember me at all?”
My insult died on my tongue as a figure stepped from the shadows. He was taller than me. His salt-and-pepper hair was buzzed close on the sides and left longer on top. He wore dark jeans and a thin tank top under a denim jacket with heavy work boots. But it was his eyes that stopped my response. Those eyes had haunted me for years. Hard gray eyes with flickers of gold that turned almost blood red when his wolf was close to the surface.
“Craig.” I tried to hide the fear that was flooding my nerves.
His eyes flared a dull rust color. “Ah, so you do remember. I wasn’t so certain you would. Nice to see you again, Wren.”
My connection to Natalie suddenly kicked, becoming a ball of energy that helped keep the fear at bay. I drew on the years of sass and banter I’d perfected as an orphan and shot him a wry grin. “Of course I remember the man who thought he owned me for several years.”
“I did own you! Four years you were mine! Ronan promised you to me! You were supposed to be my mate!”
I scoffed. “You know it doesn’t work that way. You can’t know a wolf’s nature before they grow into it.”
“It doesn’t matter. You were promised to me!”
“I promised myself to no one!”
“Our Alpha promised you to me. He knew that you were going to be nothing but another wolf! But you tricked him, tricked us all.” He threw his hands up in anger and began pacing. “Suddenly you were a fucking Alpha! Shows how much the old ways are breaking down if a woman becomes an Alpha!”
As much as I didn’t want to listen to this fucking trash bag piece of shit, being chained to the ceiling didn’t give me much option.
“We don’t choose our nature, asshole! It’s why no one is mated until they come of age.”
“And it’s bullshit! We used to be paired off when we were pups, choosing our mates because we knew—knew—exactly what the wolf would become.” He stepped closer and grabbed my bloody shirt. “Ronan promised you to me!”
I recoiled away from him but swung back just as quick. “He didn’t own me,” I hissed. “I was not his to give away.”
“It doesn’t matter. I have you now. I will take what I am owed—five years overdue.”
“You can’t mate with me against my will.” I gave him a withering glance. “I’m stronger than you. An Alpha, unlike you. I’m not part of your pack anymore!”
He laughed and it sounded maniacal. “Neither am I! I was exiled. Kicked out. All because Ronan found out that I was still sending wolves after you. Because I wanted my promised mate!”
“There is so much wrong with you and what you’re saying. How many wolves have you sent to their deaths? Your own brother too! Just to come after me?”
His lips curled into a savage smile as his hand traveled over my stomach toward my chest. I tried to move away but just swung back and forth, arms aflame with pain.
“I don’t care how many wolves need to die to teach you a lesson. To make you sorry for ever thinking you could leave me.” He shook his head, hand skipping past my chest to run fingertips up my throat to my chin. “You thought you could run away from the pack, and I wouldn’t find you? And this scent.” He leaned forward and made a show of sniffing me. “The scent of a human all over you. A mate scent. You tried to replace me with a human, of all things.” He scoffed.
“Natalie,” I gasped.
“You will lead your mate and the rest of your pack to me. Then we will destroy them, and if you live, I will make you mine. I swear it.” He took my chin in his fingers and pulled my face to his. Dry, cracked lips pressed against my own and I struggled against him. His tongue probed into my mouth, and I fought to keep my teeth clenched until his grip on my chin moved to my throat and started to squeeze. Panicked, I opened for him, and that greasy appendage darted inside, and I clamped my teeth down on it.
He screamed and pulled away, leaving layers of tongue in my mouth as they scraped against my teeth.
“You bitch!” he shouted.
“That’s right,” I snarled, “I am a bitch. And I don’t care what happens to me. The moment I get down from here, I am going to kill you.” I stared him right in the eyes. “I swear it.”
He shook his head and turned away, heading back into the shadows. “No, Wren. Your mate is going to come for you, and when she does, you will see why you have to be mine. Only mine.”
He disappeared into the darkness as I swung back and forth on my chain. I felt Natalie getting closer and closer, a fierce determination suffusing our connection. I had to trust she wasn’t coming alone. I had to trust that a human could survive in this world. Because if she died…
If she died, I didn’t think I’d survive it.
Chapter Thirty-six
Natalie
I flinched again as pain flared through the mate bond. Rory glanced over at me from the driver’s seat with worry etching her face. She didn’t say anything, and I was thankful. I didn’t have any good answers for her. I was glad she was driving the clinic truck as I held a hand to my stomach, trying to send whatever strong feelings I could across the connection.
For the weeks after I’d left Terabend, the connection had felt like it was getting smaller, closing maybe. Like it had shrunk from the size of a massive pipeline to a thin plastic straw. Since I passed out in the gym, though, it had reopened with a vengeance, and I felt everything from Wren’s side. Pain, fear, anger, despair, and most recently a sense of disgust that made me want to vomit. I tried to send her my support, my love, my anger at whatever had happened, but I couldn’t say if it was doing any good.
Too many of my feelings for Wren were confused, erratic things. I missed her desperately, and I didn’t want her to be hurt, but did I want her back? Did I even want to see her again after what she’d done? Sure, she apologized. It’s what people did when they were wrong. But was I strong enough to forgive her? I wanted to be, but I couldn’t just forget what had happened, what she had said. Maybe she wasn’t talking about me being transgender, but damn it, she let me believe it for a month. That was a special kind of torture in and of itself.
I understood fear. I lived with it for far too long. My father wanted me to be like him—strong, unwavering, male. He’d worked with me and my sister from when we were little. He taught us survival skills, fighting, conditioning—everything he could. My mother went right along with him. Every time I stepped out of line even the smallest amount, he knew exactly what he had to do to push me back. And he was never afraid to do it. But I knew I wasn’t like him, wasn’t like them. I knew I was different. I wondered for so long why they wouldn’t accept that I was different. It didn’t mean I wasn’t their child, or that I didn’t want them in my life, or anything like that. I just wanted to be the person I felt that I was, not who they wanted me to be.
A broken leg, dislocated shoulder, fractured collarbone, and major concussion were what I got for being honest with them. I was in the hospital for a few weeks, and someone from the family was there at all times to make sure I didn’t talk to the staff or authorities. Sixteen years old and I was being treated like I was a prisoner of war. Until the night when Uncle Denton fell asleep on his watch.
