Pack of Her Own, page 2
She shook her head. “Well, I had to borrow your kettle to warm it up.”
I blanched. “My kettle? Please tell me you didn’t put the blood inside it?”
She looked at me over her purple lenses, red eyes sparkling with amusement. “I’m pulling your leg,” she said with a chuckle. “I came over because you haven’t been by in a while. I worried something was going on.”
“What do you mean? I’ve been at the diner every day.” I did own the place, after all.
“And you hole yourself up in your office when you’re there,” Hikaru said, “and you disappear when you’re not there. Your people are getting worried about you.”
I shook my head. “They aren’t my people. You know I don’t want that kind of life.”
“You know you don’t have a choice who gets close to you sometimes, right? You’ve made friends around here. People like you. That makes them worry about you.”
“I never asked them to do that.”
“Come on, Wren. You feel the same way about them. You get so antsy when someone doesn’t show up for work. It’s like you want to know where your people are at all times.”
I frowned at her. “That’s only because I want to make sure they’re safe. The last thing I need is my past coming back to hurt innocent humans.”
“And what about hurting you?”
I shrugged. “That…doesn’t matter as much.”
She shook her head. “Wren, it’s been five years since you left your old pack. When are you going to let people in?”
“I let you in.”
“Technically, I’m also your landlord.”
I let out a long sigh. “You know it’s not easy for me. Not with everything the Cardinals did.” I shuddered with the memory. “I mean, you didn’t see the way they treated me after my Alpha nature surfaced. Or even before that, with their archaic focus on what wolves they considered to be dominant or submissive. It was disgusting. I never want a life like that again.”
“As Alpha, you would get to decide what your pack would be like. You don’t have to do it like your old Alpha did.”
“What if I just don’t want a pack?”
She shook her head. “You can’t run from your nature forever.”
“Hikaru,” I said, rubbing my palms over my face. This was a conversation we’d had before. “I will never have a pack because I refuse to promise a fucking teenager to a man three times her age just because he’s considered a fucking dominant!”
“I told you, it doesn’t have to be like that within your own pack.” She put her hand on my knee and I had to stop myself from pulling away from the comforting touch. “Your pack can be a sanctuary for wolves who don’t want to live like that either. Show the Alphas who are stuck in the past how a pack can exist in the modern world.”
“I’m not the kind of wolf who’s going to change the world.”
She drained her mug and stood. “You might not have much of a choice.”
“I don’t even know how to be a damned Alpha!”
“That, dear, you can learn.”
“Not if there’s no one to teach me.”
“What about the Alpha over in Silva?” she asked.
I glanced up at her. Silva was a town on the other side of the lake, in another county. I’d only met the Alpha there once, Kendra, but she had seemed nice enough at the time. Maybe talking to her might be an option.
“See?” she said. “You can’t even tell me I’m wrong.”
“I hate you sometimes.”
“You only hate that I’m right.”
Lacking a worthy response, I stuck my tongue out at her.
She shook her head. “Such a child.”
“I’m twenty-five.”
“Still a child to me.” She held out a hand as if to help me up.
“Everyone is still a child to you.” I slapped her hand away lightly and hefted myself out of the chair. “So, did you only come all this way to give me a hard time for being antisocial?”
She looked almost sheepish as she said, “I was worried about you.”
I started to say something scathing but stopped. Hikaru didn’t deserve that kind of response. I let out a soft groan and glanced away.
“My wolf is anxious,” I admitted uneasily.
“It has been a while since anyone from your old pack came by. They used to cause trouble every few months.”
“I keep hoping it’s because they’ve finally given up on whatever they were up to, but I don’t think I believe it. I know my wolf doesn’t.”
“Make sure you listen to her—she knows what she’s talking about.”
I shook my head. “You always seem to know an awful lot about wolf shifters for not being one. Why is that?”
She smirked. “Maybe someday I’ll tell you.”
I started to say something more but was interrupted by my phone. I pulled it from my pocket and checked the caller ID.
“It’s Rory,” I said, surprised. I hadn’t talked to her in the better part of a year, having missed her when she was in town at Christmas. When no response came, I looked up and saw Hikaru already across the gravel drive and climbing into her SUV. I glared in her direction but gave a small wave before turning and heading back into my house. I answered the phone on the third ring.
“Hey, Rory, what’s up?”
Chapter Three
Natalie
The road to the cabin was much more well-worn than I’d expected. The heavy pickup truck handled the gravel road, but the deep grooves made the trip rocky. Rory had let me borrow the clinic’s pickup, which had a canopy on the back promoting her business. It was like driving an advertisement everywhere I went.
After only ten minutes on the rough road, I got my first glance of the cabin. It was sitting on a hill with a small clearing around it, set away from the trees. It was idyllic, like something out of a storybook. For the first time since Rory mentioned the idea the other day, this sounded like it might work out.
The road ended beside the cabin, and I pulled the truck up and parked it. The woods were beautiful. The front door opened into a simple, large living area that looked out onto a dining area that had a table just big enough for a small family. The inside was as picturesque as the outside. A small island with stools separated the kitchen. Stove, fridge, everything in the kitchen was shiny and looked gorgeous, and a quick search of the cupboards revealed plenty of food and everything needed to cook it.
“Well, she said it’d be well-stocked.”
The words echoed in the empty room, and I shivered. An enormous place for little old me. I had to push down the bad thoughts again before they could take root. I didn’t want to spiral down to those depths, not today. It was the first day of getting to know myself. I only needed to figure out where the hell to start.
A short hallway led to two bedrooms and a bathroom that was probably half the size of the apartment I’d shared with Misty. The bathtub was big enough to do some interesting things in, and unfortunately the first thought that came to me was one I didn’t want. Misty and I had always dreamed of having a tub like that.
“Damn it,” I snarled with a shake of my head. I was here to move past her, not think about her.
Unpacking into the bigger of the two bedrooms, I pulled out my phone and typed out a quick message to Rory. The signal didn’t get any higher than three bars, but at least it was something. She replied almost immediately, saying to make myself at home. I looked around the bedroom and smiled. I was lucky to have her as a friend. And honestly, I knew she was well-off, but looking at this damned cabin, she was far more well-off than I’d thought.
As she had suggested, I made myself at home. I lay on the bed, reveling in the quiet. No traffic, no other people, not even the hum of the light pollution from the middle of the city. As the sun set, the darkness became almost oppressive, and I moved around the cabin to turn on the lights. As I did, a heavy rumble broke the silence. I rose to look out the window.
Outside, a rough-looking Jeep pulled up the gravel road behind the clinic truck. Rory didn’t drive a Jeep. Did anyone else know I was here? Rory’s parents? I backed away toward the kitchen, heart pounding far more than it should’ve been. A moment later there was a knock on the door.
I itched to call Rory and demand who else might be here. Another knock came, a little harder this time. I took a deep breath then approached the door.
“Who is it?”
“Ms. Donovan? My name is Wren. Rory called me and let me know you were coming down for the month and asked me to make sure you were settling in.”
I breathed with relief and cracked the door open a little. On the porch stood a woman probably not much older than I was. She was wearing well-worn blue jeans and a red flannel button-down that fit loosely over her upper body. Her silver hair was short and spiked up in a style that desperately made me want to touch it.
Whoa, where the hell did that come from?
“H-hi,” I said. When my mouth opened again, no words came out. She gave me a smile that stole my shallow breaths.
“Ms. Donovan.” She offered a hand. “Nice to meet you. I own the diner down in Terabend, the Tooth and Claw.” In her other hand she lifted a paper bag with a small grease stain on the bottom. “I thought you might be hungry.”
The smell wafting off the bag made my mouth water, but I resisted the urge to throw the door wide open.
“Oh.” I had no idea Rory had told anyone that I was coming down. I mean, sure, someone was probably taking care of the cabin, with it being spotless and everything, but still. Did she think I couldn’t take care of myself? “Well, um, thank you, Ms. Wren? Is that right?”
She smiled. “Just Wren. Wren Carne.”
I took the offered food. “I appreciate it, but you can let Rory know I can take care of myself.”
She raised a hand and started playing with her hair with a sheepish grin. “I think I’ll let you take care of that. I’ve known her a while and know how involved she likes to be.”
I turned away from the door, but something made me stop. “How long have you known Rory?”
“A few years now. She used to help out when I first bought the diner.”
“And she told you I was going to be here?”
“Yeah, staying for a month. She wanted me to keep an eye on you in case you, I don’t know, didn’t like the solitude, I guess?”
I mumbled something about overbearing friends and gave her a small smile. “Well, thanks for the food anyway. It’s appreciated.”
She gave a smile and a wave. “You need anything, just call the diner, okay?”
I nodded, but her back was already to me as she headed to the Jeep. I should’ve just closed the damned door, but I caught sight of her backside in those jeans and I watched the beautiful thing sway in time with her steps and I couldn’t look away even if I wanted to. Which I didn’t.
Damn it, Rory.
She had this idea that she was something of a matchmaker. She’d done it before, with other friends and coworkers. I hated the idea that she was doing it to me, but who knew? Maybe this time it might actually work.
* * *
I sat back in the chair with a soft burp, staring at the remnants of the meal. Moist roast beef on garlic bread with melted cheese and steak fries with garlic and parmesan, and my Goddess, I was in heaven after eating it all. I let out a little laugh. I’d never have eaten something like this around Misty. A “feast of carbs” is what she’d call any meal that wasn’t made up of at least three-quarters healthy shit, and the rest low-carb crap that tasted like dirt.
I froze. And then wondered when I’d started being able to think things like that. I would never have complained to Misty about what she’d make or tell me to eat. It’s not like I could cook anything that didn’t come frozen in a box with directions on the side. The one time I tried to do an actual recipe from scratch, I burned the meat so badly it caught fire in the oven, and kind of ruined our Thanksgiving with a visit from the fire department.
But if she’d seen me eating something like this, maybe she would’ve cut me loose ages ago.
“Nope!” I shook my head and started cleaning up the dishes. “We are not thinking about that. We are not thinking about her.”
I repeated myself a few times as I stood and gathered the dishes. Cleaning up after dinner was a habit for me, one I enjoyed, because it was something I could do without really thinking about it. I left the table as spotless as I found it and left the dishes to dry on the rack beside the sink. Then I turned and realized I was still all alone, but now the outside world was darker and even more quiet than before.
Idly, I flipped through the collection of loose teas Rory had stored in a cupboard and picked a something-with-peppermint before starting the kettle. A few minutes later, I sat at the table, waiting for the tea to cool enough to drink.
That’s when I heard the howl. Staring out into the darkness on the other side of the window, the long, lonely sound drifted on the wind. Shivers ran down my spine when there was another howl, louder this time. Both sounded like the same animal, and even with a third howl, there was still no reply.
“Poor wolf.” The words slipped out before I could think about them. Many people had problems with wild animals, even if they normally liked domestic ones. Not me. Once upon a time, I’d wanted to have an animal sanctuary, to be a caretaker for all the wondrous creatures of the world that so many didn’t seem to understand. A pipe dream, all but forgotten since I was old enough to know what real life was like. Being a vet was the reality. But what were the odds that someday I’d get to see an actual wolf in the wild?
With that thought, I headed for the door with my tea. The front porch hugged one side of the cabin with a railing high enough that I could lean on it comfortably and wide enough to accommodate the mug. As I looked closer at the railing in the light from the cabin, I noticed dark rings along it. Clearly, I wasn’t the only one who liked to stand out here listening to the wolves at night.
A part of me couldn’t believe what I was hearing. There was nothing in the city like this. The moment the next howl started, I closed my eyes, enraptured by the lonely song. Sounds of other animals drifted on the wind, owls hooting and smaller creatures running through the underbrush. I longed to walk through those trees and wind my way through the forest with nothing but the sporadic moonlight as my guide. But I was smart enough not to try. Not yet at least. I would not make my first trip into the trees at night in the dark with a wolf howling. Of course, the mere mention of the idea of going at all would’ve sent Misty into a tizzy.
How much of myself had I given up so I could be with her? I’d lost everyone I’d been close to, people I considered friends, family. I’d left it all behind for her. Cliché, yes, but I truly thought she’d loved me. And maybe she did in her own way. As much as she could manage.
Again, I shook my head, trying to push those thoughts out of my head. It was better not to think about her at all.
The wolf howled one more time and I resisted the urge to howl back. I took a deep breath and coughed, unused to the fresh air of the countryside, and took my melancholy ass back inside. I washed the mug, dried it, and put away the dishes like a good little houseguest, then called it a night.
Chapter Four
Wren
Most days the sounds of the kitchen were relaxing. It helped me focus when doing the ordering and making sure we had enough for the diner to keep running. It was difficult to get a supplier to ship out all this way more than once a week, so I had to make sure I didn’t miss a damned thing. And yet, as I belted out a yawn wide enough to make my jaw kink, all that noise only made me wish I could disappear out into the forest again.
The trees were calling me home, like they had last night as the moon waxed toward full. But I had a job to do, a business to run, and couldn’t just go out for a run whenever I wanted. Besides, if the humans in town had too many sightings of an overly large, silvery wolf out in the woods, they might start a hunt that would get people killed.
I wasn’t willing to live through that again.
The memories came at me, unbidden. Sleepless nights spent keeping one eye open for whoever was after me this time. It wasn’t human hunters, either. My own pack turned on me the moment I came into my nature as an Alpha. I could remember the fear in Ronan’s eyes when I confronted him. He knew that if I challenged him for leadership, he might not win.
But that wasn’t me. I didn’t want a pack, and I didn’t want to lead. I just wanted my freedom, and being an Alpha was going to give me that.
Now the urge to go out for a run came back with a vengeance and I groaned, rubbing my hands over my eyes. Instead of just thinking about the forest and running through the trees, my wolf seemed to have a particular destination in mind. Her senses turned to a nice cabin in the woods, the smell of the lake strong in the air, and the gorgeous redhead who was staying in said cabin.
I shook my head. This was ridiculous. I didn’t even know if she’d be interested in anything, and I was not going to force myself on the poor girl. From what Rory had told me, she had enough to deal with. Hell, if it wasn’t for Rory, I wouldn’t even know she was a lesbian, or at least into girls. She wouldn’t be the first person I’d been with since coming to Terabend all those years ago, but there was something different about her and I didn’t want to just dine and dash.
“Hey, boss.” Meg, my front-end server, poked her head into the office. “I need to head to the washroom. Can you watch the front for me?”
“Of course.” She ran off and I headed out the double doors to the front of the diner.
Booths nestled against three walls with stand-alone tables in the middle of the open floor. The long bar that blocked the drink machines and coffee makers from the patrons had stools running along it, and one end held the cash register. I grabbed a plate from under the heat lamps and took it out to the table in the corner, where a woman I knew was seated.
