Pack of Her Own, page 24
We hadn’t made it to the beach, despite having wanted to. As much as I wanted to think of something good that had happened, all that came to mind was that last night there. The look on Wren’s face in Rory’s cabin, when she said those last words to me.
“It was nice.” She didn’t look like she believed me. “No, it was good. I mean, before it all went bad.”
She sighed. “I was hoping it would help you, but you seem even more upset than before.”
“It is what it is, Rory. It was good—but it was bad too.”
“I really wish you’d tell me what happened out there. If I’d known you were going to get hurt, I wouldn’t have—”
I cut her off. “It’s not your fault. It’s mine. All mine.” Flexing my arm and testing the bandage, I moved around her toward the door. “I’m going to take off, okay?”
“Yeah.” Rory was slow to reply. “Of course. I’ll see you at home.”
“Sure.” I grimaced at the tone as I hurried out of the clinic.
I’d already been apartment hunting so I could get out of her hair. Between that and spending a good chunk of a week at the university’s financial aid office, I was trying to make sure Rory had her space away from a sorry sack like me.
And yet, all of those moments were still spent thinking of Wren. Thinking of what we had, thinking of how I could still feel her deep inside. For a while there I thought it had stopped, that she had moved on and I wouldn’t feel her anymore. Until a few days ago, when her fear and anger woke me from a fitful nap on Rory’s couch. I wanted to get in the truck and drive straight to her. I wanted to make sure she was okay, to comfort and hold her and feel comforted in return. I wanted her. I needed her.
Dear Goddess, I hoped that feeling faded soon.
We’d barely known each other for a few weeks, and I was craving her touch more than I’d ever craved Misty’s—even after we broke up. And for some reason that didn’t bother me as much as I thought it should’ve.
Frustration ripped through me, and I desperately wanted to lash out and hit something. Out on the sidewalk, surrounded by people, I was impotent in that wanting and made myself keep walking away from the clinic, away from Rory’s apartment. I didn’t have a clue where I was going, but somehow my feet did.
I stopped in front of an old gym—one I’d frequented a lot over the years with Misty. Until she decided the place wasn’t fit for girls like us and took me to one of those fancy places with the spin classes where people yell at you over headache-inducing music. I walked in, knowing full well I didn’t have anything on me to wear in there, but not caring. I just needed to hit something—and badly.
“You’ve got some nerve showing your face in here, Natalie,” a voice said from behind the counter as I walked into the gym. I froze in my steps. I recognized that voice.
Gwen was a short woman, barely over five feet tall, but had the attitude of someone twice her size. Her skin was a deep tan color and she had dark hair that curled as if it had a mind of its own. Her green eyes were sharp and never let a detail pass her by. Her lips curled up at the corners as I gave her my full attention, and I let out a long sigh.
“Jeez, Gwen,” I said. “Give a girl a heart attack. I thought you were really mad at me.”
She laughed, her entire demeanor changing from protective, almost threatening, to completely calm and at ease. “I mean, I should be. You went and disappeared on us. I lost my favorite workout partner.”
The shame was unbelievable. After running from my family and finding a new one with Misty, I hadn’t wanted to fall down too much on the training and exercise my parents had pushed us into. Self-defense classes, strength training, cardio, the works. Then Misty decided that this place wasn’t good enough and started dragging us to some other gym that I’d never felt comfortable in. The worst part was losing my friendships with the people here. Mostly, Gwen.
“I’m sorry.” There weren’t any other words I could give her. There was nothing I could say, no excuse that would be good enough, for disappearing on her almost a year and a half ago and just letting it happen.
She came out from behind the counter and pulled me into a tight hug. “You can tell me all about it later, okay?”
I nodded, not sure if I could get words out without starting to cry.
She pulled back but kept her hands on my arms. She gave me a long look up and down, smirking. “And I need to see how much you’ve let yourself go since you were here last.”
I grinned. “Yeah? You want your old sparring partner back?”
“Sure! It’s the only reason I missed you.” She winked.
I glanced down at my scrubs. “I’m not exactly dressed for it.”
“I’ll spot ya.” She ran back around the counter and stuck her head through a doorway there, chatting with someone for a quick moment. She came back with a duffel bag clutched in one hand. She tossed it to me hard enough to bounce off my chest.
“Get in the ring,” she said despite her smile. “Bitch.”
I shared the smile. “Good to see you, too, Gwen.”
“Talk later, spar now,” she said, already moving to the boxing ring set up on the far side of the room.
I groaned before hanging my head and heading for the change rooms.
* * *
Gwen and I sat on the edge of the boxing ring, legs hanging over the side, arms wrapped in the ropes. We passed a heavy bottle of water back and forth as we panted, and I tried to ease the ache in pretty much every muscle I could think of.
“You’re out of shape,” Gwen said. She said it like it was a simple statement and not an insult. And she was right. “You used to at least give me a challenge on your worst days.”
I grinned. “And on my best?”
She grinned back. “You’d have me on my ass faster than I could see.”
We laughed together and I realized how much I had missed this. Jumping from the shit with Misty to trying to make a new relationship work with Wren was a terrible idea. I was still just a part of someone else—I didn’t have anything of my own. Not with Misty, and not in Terabend with Wren. These were my friends, and I hated how long it took for me to realize it.
“So, where the hell have you been? It’s been over a year since the last time you were in here.”
I sighed and took a long swig of water before telling her the whole story with Misty. I wanted to blame it all on her, but I couldn’t. I still made the decision to stop coming to the gym, to avoid seeing or talking to my friends because I knew Misty wouldn’t like it. I was as complicit as her.
“Bullshit.” Gwen shook her head when I told her that it was my own fault. “That toxic bitch made you do it. Yes, you could’ve said no, but the consequences could’ve been a lot worse. You understand that, right?”
“I just wanted to stay with her.”
“Why? After all that kind of stuff, why?”
“Because I didn’t think anyone else would ever want me.” My voice was raw with emotion. “She beat it into my head that she was the only one who would ever have me. I couldn’t let her go.”
“See?” Gwen pulled the water bottle back from me and took a gulp. “Toxic.”
“I know that now,” I replied.
“So, what’ve you been doing since?”
I laughed but there was little humor in it. “Oh, the usual. Crashing on my boss’s couch, borrowing her cabin for a vacation, falling in love with a werewolf, then coming back here when she decides she can’t handle that I’m tran—”
Gwen’s eyes were wide with confusion. “What the hell?”
This time my laugh was real, because the look on her face was priceless. I told her about Rory and Wren and everything that happened in Terabend—leaving out the gory details, of course. And the bits about the things I learned there. Rias and Heather and Dr. Maru—their secrets weren’t mine to tell. Her eyes were still wide and staring when I finished, and I took the water bottle back.
“B-but werewolf?” She gasped and I chuckled. She had a thing about the supernatural—which was kind of cute in a way that scared me, now that I knew about that world.
“I was just kidding,” I assured her. “Wren was certainly the outdoorsy type and loved her flannel, but werewolves aren’t real. You know that.”
She chuckled weakly and turned away. “Right. Right. I know that. Duh.”
I gave her a moment to breathe as I slipped under the ropes. “As much fun as this has been, I need to get—”
Pain flared in my gut, and I fell over, screaming. It echoed through the gym, bringing everything to a dead stop as Gwen leapt to my side. I barely noticed hands touching me, holding me as my legs collapsed underneath me and I screamed again. Sharp, searing pain stabbed into my gut like someone had a hot knife, and I cried out again. My hands searched for a wound, but there was nothing there. But where—
“Wren!” I gasped. My eyes flared open to see Gwen and several of the gym’s staff all huddled over me.
“How hard did you hit her?” one of them asked, not a trace of accusation in his voice.
“I didn’t do this! She just started screaming.”
“Who’s Wren?”
“Her ex!”
“What the hell is going on?”
The voices started to all mesh together in my head as wave after wave of pain tore through me, coming from that place in my gut where I could still feel my mate. I saw Gwen’s face over me, saying something, but there was no more sound. And a few seconds later, there was no more vision. Then there was no more consciousness.
Chapter Thirty-four
Natalie
I opened my eyes to a far-too-familiar sight. Tree trunks that disappeared into a dark sky, bare ground with foliage that didn’t tear into my bare feet. The forest that had haunted me for over a month now, taunting me with what I lost.
“Fuck you!” I screamed and the air swallowed my words before they could echo. “Stop fucking bringing me here!”
Every damned time I was here, Wren couldn’t even be bothered to come find me herself. Her wolf would appear by my side after a few moments, but the wolf never gave me any indication that Wren was also here with me. And now?
“I don’t want to do this anymore!”
If the forest heard me, it didn’t show.
I heard the wolf before I saw her. Normally, she would be playfully sneaking, trying to get around me. It got to be a bit of a game with us—one that never failed to give me a brief smile. But tonight she moved unerringly toward me. She was slow, limping heavily even though her legs looked fine.
Something was wrong.
“Wren?” I whispered as I knelt down in front of her wolf. “Is she okay? Are you?”
The wolf whimpered, high and loud and I took her muzzle in my hands. She leaned into it, tongue lolling out of her mouth as she closed those golden eyes.
“It’s okay,” I soothed her. “It’s okay. You’ll be okay.”
She whined and whimpered a little and I kept my hands around her. I ran my fingers through her thick fur, untangling matted clumps. She flinched when I reached her belly, and I pulled my hand away. It was slick with blood.
“Wren?”
“Easy there, beautiful.” Wren’s voice drawled from behind me. “No need to shout.”
I spun and there she was. My mate. My love. Standing in dark jeans and flannel shirt, her hands pressed hard to her gut.
“Wren!” I shouted, pulling back from her wolf and running to her. She met me a few steps later, wrapping a single arm around me as the other stayed at her abdomen. “What the hell is going on?”
She shook her head. “I was hoping I’d get to see you here. I wanted to have a chance to say I’m sorry.”
“Wren, please! Tell me what’s happening.”
She tightened her grip and laid her head on my shoulder. “It doesn’t matter, Nat. I’m so sorry. I thought I had to push you away. I didn’t think…I didn’t know…”
“Tell me what’s wrong, please!”
“You’re perfect, Nat. You always were. Just the way you are. I’m an idiot. A complete idiot. I just want you to know that.”
“Wren—”
She shook her head, nuzzling my neck like a content canine. “I’m so sorry. I know you never asked for all of this, but I promise I was a better person for having known you.”
“Stop talking like we’ll never see each other again!”
“I love you, my mate. My Lupa. My Natalie.”
She slumped in my arms and I couldn’t hold her. We fell, her on top of me, and I held her close as something warm soaked through my shirt. Blood seeped from Wren’s abdomen, and I rolled us over, pressing hands to her wound.
“No! No!” I screamed. Something soft and furry brushed my back. Her wolf padded slowly past me, lying beside her other half and putting her head on Wren’s neck. “Wren! Please don’t go!”
She coughed and choked, blood spilling from her mouth as her eyes found mine. “I’m sorry, Nat.” Her eyes closed and darkness started to fall around the forest. “Please forgive me.”
I didn’t get a chance to respond before the world went dark.
“Wren!” I screamed, throwing myself up and out of the bed. Two people who were not the werewolf I wanted to see. “Wren!” I gasped again as I realized whatever covers I’d had on had fallen back—and I was naked.
“Nat!” Rory cried, completely ignoring my undressed state and wrapping her arms tight around me. “Oh, my Goddess, are you okay?”
I shook in her grasp, trying to make sense of everything. Gwen was standing on the other side of the bed, frowning down at the two of us.
“What happened?” I choked out, prying Rory off me.
“You collapsed at the gym,” Gwen said, “I brought you here.”
“She should have brought you to a hospital,” Rory said.
Gwen shook her head. “There was nothing wrong with her.”
“It could be internal!”
“I knew it wasn’t.”
“How could you possibly know that? Are you a doctor?”
“I knew because I knew!”
“Enough!” I shouted, earning surprised looks from both of them. “Gwen did the right thing. I don’t need a hospital.”
“We don’t know what’s wrong with you.” Rory said.
“I do,” I muttered, unable to look at either of them.
There was a long minute of silence before Gwen said softly, “Yeah, I figured it was something like that.”
I stared at her. “You know?”
She gave me a wry smile. “You let it slip. I know you meant it as a joke, but…”
“But it’s not a joke for you.” I nodded in understanding.
Rory looked back and forth between us. “What the hell are you talking about?”
I had no idea where to even start. Then there was there was a knock at the door. I glanced at Rory, who was still looking confused, and she sighed and walked away.
“Gwen, you’ve been holding out on me.”
“Not like I could tell you anything when we met.”
“So, you’ve been holding back on me in our sparring matches?”
She had the decency to look sheepish. “Maybe. It’s not like you didn’t do well.”
“It’s fine,” I said, “but I think at least you owe me some clothing.”
She gestured to a bundle at the foot of the bed, knocked askew when I awoke.
“I’ll be outside.”
The moment the door was closed, I got out of bed. There was no marring anywhere on my stomach, but I could still feel the stinging pain that made me pass out. The dream came back to me, Wren’s body on top of mine, bleeding. I needed to find her. I had to help her.
I dressed and exited the bedroom, already knowing who would be waiting for me out there. Rory stood in the kitchen, preparing four mugs of coffee. When she caught sight of me, she opened the fridge and pulled out a bottle of Pepsi. I nodded my thanks before turning to the newcomers. Dr. Maru sat on the couch, the picture of nonchalance in her sweater and jeans. She waved to me, eyes shining a little over the rims of her glasses.
Heather stood behind the couch, standing protectively over Dr. Maru. Her eyes were glued to Gwen, who was standing by the hallway to the bedrooms. Gwen was staring back at Heather, and the tension between them was tangible.
“You know,” I began, as I claimed my bottle of pop, “I thought it was bad when I came out to my parents, but the amount of tension in this apartment almost takes the cake.”
Gwen and Heather continued to glare at each other as Dr. Maru quietly accepted a mug from Rory. As the only other human in the room, I felt bad for Rory—mostly because she really had no clue what was happening.
“Enough,” Dr. Maru said, her voice a command. “Calm yourselves.” She glanced to Gwen and added, “Both of you.”
Rory looked between all of us. “I feel like I’m missing something here.” She focused on Dr. Maru. “I mean, I haven’t seen you for years, and suddenly you show up on my doorstep asking about Nat?”
Dr. Maru smiled at me. “We became friends during her vacation. I was worried about her, so I came by.”
“With an escort?”
“Heather insisted.”
“What are you two doing here?” I asked. I opened my mouth to say more, but I didn’t want to put the words out into the world.
“You know why,” Heather growled.
“Something happened to Wren.” It was a statement, and one that I knew Dr. Maru was angry about.
“I know,” I whispered, rubbing my stomach. “I felt it.”
“Okay, hold on!” Rory snapped. “What the hell is going on? What happened to Wren? What do you mean you felt it? Why does it even matter?” Her eyes fell to me and widened. “Oh. Oh! That’s why you didn’t want to talk about…” She drifted off for a moment, as if rethinking all the conversations we’d had since I came back.
